Chapter Thirty Two

 

I didn't have to tell them where I was going, what I was doing. The crowd at the door already knew. Backed off and let me enter, hands touching me, Mom hugging me swiftly, Meira, Liam. Uncle Frank almost crushed me he held me so tight, but I didn't mind.

“We should have stayed, fought harder.” His words were muffled in my hair.

“You had no choice.” I kissed his cheek and smiled. I could smile now that I'd decided what to do. “But I do.”

Sunny next, trembling, teary, but full of love. “I'll never forgive myself,” she whispered.

“Silly,” I said. “I feel the same way about me. For putting all of you in that position. I should have just cut and run instead of trying to play their game.”

Sebastian. He engulfed me in his arms, though his body was rigid. “I failed you.”

Damn them, all of them, with their guilt. Though I understood it, of course I did. But I needed them to suck it up if I was going to go back and do what I had to.

“Enough,” I said, with enough force behind it they all stilled. “We've been through a lot together.” I looked up, saw Trill watching from behind Sebastian, her and Owen and their Nona holding back, giving the family room. “We don't always get to have happy endings.” Trill's arm went around her brother as she leaned into her grandmother. “But we always do our best to finish what we start.” She nodded to me, smiled as I turned to face the others. “Guilt and accusations and stupid mistakes be damned. I'm going to Austria to clean up a mess. Who's with me?”

“You're clearly off your rocker,” Sassafras said, tail thrashing. “But Batsheva must be stopped.”

Nods all around. Mom looked positively nasty. “I'll alert my colleague we're on our way,” she said with way too much satisfaction in her voice.

Margaret Applegate was going to love seeing us coming.

I left them talking, planning, headed for the stairs and the shower I so desperately craved. Liam's hand caught my arm as he followed me up, drawing out a hiss of pain from my lips.

Not whole yet by a long shot.

He winced, let me go, eyes sad. “Please,” he said. “Think this through.”

“I already have.” He of all people, trying to talk me out of it?

“Syd.” Liam rose another step, face level with mine, lips hovering close to my mouth as he ever-so-gently touched my cheek with his fingertips. “I won't survive if I lose you.”

“Liam.” Galleytrot's deep voice broke the moment between us. “Come.”

I met the big dog's eyes, caught his slow nod. Knew he understood.

The water was lovely and hot, though the lights too bright. Not that I was photosensitive anymore, but because of how I looked. Sunken skin, pale and slightly green, dark circles under my eyes. I slowly turned in the mirror and forced myself to examine my skin, to look at each and every puncture, mostly healed but still visible, the faint scars left from my healing where the flesh was torn by vampire teeth, and the deep, round welts on my neck.

From her. Batsheva. Where she'd stolen my soul.

The need to kill someone, my hate, had never been so powerful.

My demon growled, but she felt hurt, anguished. Shaylee too, though she was as determined as I to return and take back what we'd lost. Even the family magic coiled inside me, retreating from my hate.

Deep breath. Let it out. Another. I hugged myself as I stood there, calling up my demon as she flashed amber in my eyes, Shaylee who wove around me with Sidhe power and the witch magic I'd rejected for so long flaring to life as it rose to shield us all.

Not alone, not by a long shot. And I refused to let hate consume me. To become what Demetrius knew of Ameline, what I did as well. Not when I had myself and myself and, yes, myself to lean on. I wouldn't become the woman I hunted or the one I had to face for the return of my vampire.

Their relief was as real as our need when the hard ball of rage released and let go. No need for it. Though I wasn't making any promises when I had Batsheva in my hands.

My robe, normally soft and lovely on my skin felt almost abrasive as I belted it tight and opened the door to cross the hall.

And thought of Charlotte. Panic drove a spike through me, my power whipping outward to search for her.

Found her in Mom's room, unconscious on the bed. Worn out or magicked that way, I didn't know. But she was alive and safe.

I'd done that much right.

We'd just see if she'd ever forgive me for it.

I knew my room wasn't empty before I entered, but I was okay with my visitor. Trill sat on the end of my bed, hands folded in front of her, shoulders hunched a little as though expecting to be asked to leave. I crossed right to her and sat beside her, hugging her hard while her arms rose and hugged me back.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“You're welcome,” she said.

We smiled at each other a moment before Trill sighed. “We can't stay,” she said. “But I wanted to see you before we left. Alone.”

I took her hand, feeling tears rise. “You saved my life,” I said.

“Just returning the favor,” she said. “But Syd, I didn't save you. Neither did Nona or Owen. When you dropped out of the veil, I was sure you were already dead.” She shuddered softly as the image flared between us. I gasped at the sight of me, mummified as the young vampire Ellia had been when her clan was finished with her.

“There's no way you should be alive,” Trill said. “Unless you're very, very close.”

“The Undying.” I nodded. “Iepa came to me in the veil. She told me I had too much left to do. She sent me to you, I guess.”

“I've never seen anything like it,” Trill said. “I'm just glad you're all right.”

So I guessed I was invincible. At least, until I'd fulfilled the task Iepa had for me. Somehow, knowing it didn't make me feel any better.

“I will answer your call whenever you need me,” she said with so much emotion I wondered where the girl I'd first met went, the angry, suspicious girl who, now I was willing to admit it, reminded me a lot of who I'd been not so long ago.

“And I yours,” I said, hugging her again.

“Please be careful,” she said. “I know you must retrieve the vampire essence, but remember. She's been tied to Batsheva's power. The taint may have affected her.”

I hadn't thought of that. “We'll just have to make sure nothing of the Queen remains then,” I said.

Trill smiled at my tone. “I almost wish I could be there to see you kick her ass.”

Laughter felt good, seemed to heal me further. “I'll tell you all about it when I see you again.”

Trill paused at the door, turning with a smile. “I meant to thank you,” she said. “For our escort.”

“Sorry?” Escort?

“Quaid.” Her glasses flashed in the light, brown eyes full of mischief. “Though I was annoyed at the time, he made himself useful. Thank you for asking him to watch over us.”

I grinned. “He can be an arrogant jerkasaurus,” I said, “but he's helpful when he wants to be.”

Trill laughed. “Once I put him in his place,” she said.

Crap. I would have loved to have seen that.

She waved as she left. I closed the door behind her, turning slowly, eyes falling on my wardrobe, a sinking feeling in my stomach telling me something wasn't right.

The top drawer was ajar.

A quick search told me, though a little late to be helpful, Demetrius had succeeded in retrieving my crystal. Damn it.

Talk about terrible timing. Still, I could only believe he was back with Batsheva. So I'd track him down and take it back before I did horrible things to her.

Oh, so horrible.

My demon chuckled. Now that the blackness of my hate had gone, she and the rest of my carry-ons were more than happy to consider the possibilities.

I drew on as much of the family magic as I could while I dressed, trying to fill up reserves drained by the vampires. By the time I was done, the massive magic had fleshed me out further, the bags gone, my skin a more normal pink, though I was still thin, so thin.

Alison would have been really jealous.

Why did I think of her in that moment? My throat burned with the need to cry as I tightened the leather belt I needed to hold up my jeans, but there was no time to break down, not now. Later. Later, if I really felt I needed it. But I had a feeling when this was done, I wouldn't be the one in tears.

Mom's door creaked softly as I entered and went to the bed. Charlotte's body twitched as I settled on the quilt beside her. I could have left her behind, and probably should have. But she was as much a part of me as my vampire and I wanted her with me, selfish or not.

One touch and she woke, sitting up, hands grasping my arms, eyes locked on mine while her wolf crawled through them.

“What happened?” She coughed softly, tried again. “You were hurt, I could feel it, but I couldn't get to you and they wouldn't let me go—” Hysteria rose in her voice until I sent her power, soothed her with magic.

“Batsheva won the first round,” I said. “I'm up for a rematch.”

Charlotte quivered as I rose from the bed and headed to the door.

“Well?” I grinned at her, turning back. “Are you coming or not?”

Silly question.

 

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