RENEE ARRIVED AT Jasper’s place a little before five. Her morning productivity had meant she could leave early. She’d gone home, showered, packed a bag and had driven up the mountain. Whenever her thoughts had threatened to slide in the direction of Turner or Koda, she’d reminded herself that she was about to have hot sex with a guy who knew where all her buttons were and exactly how to push them. Thinking about that was just the distraction she needed.
She parked and got out her overnight tote. She’d left her work dress on a hanger. Before she could even close her car door, Jasper was heading toward her.
“You’re here,” he said, sounding happy. “I’m glad.” He took the tote from her. “I’m going to barbecue ribs.”
“You know how to do that?”
“As a matter of fact, I do. I marinate them in big batches and freeze them, then pull out what I want for the evening and cook them on the barbecue.”
“Impressive.”
“Tell me about it. Now a lot of people would consider ribs man food, so I made a pasta salad in deference to your fair gender.”
“Because women like pasta?”
“Yes. I say that with great authority.”
She laughed as they walked into the house. “I’m not going to argue. Sounds delicious. I brought a bottle of merlot, which should complement the menu very nicely.”
He closed the door behind them and motioned for her to lead the way down the hall.
As she walked, she was aware of a clicking sound following them. Koda, she thought grimly, telling herself she would simply ignore the dog. It wasn’t as if she were afraid he was going to attack her. Nothing that simple. She would just pretend he wasn’t there. Hopefully, with time, he would sort of blend into the background of the house.
She’d been so busy with her dog thoughts, she hadn’t paid attention to the house and unexpectedly found herself in a huge master bedroom. The space was one of the new additions, she thought, taking in the large windows and big fireplace on the far wall. There was a king-size bed, several rugs scattered on the hardwood floors and a massive dog bed in the far corner.
“You can put your stuff in here,” Jasper said, motioning to an open door that led to an apartment-sized master bath with his and hers closets. There were double sinks, a steam shower, jetted tub and one of those fancy toilets with lights and a remote control.
In the “hers” closet, Renee found built-in drawers, glass doors protecting shelves and a floor-to-ceiling shoe rack, along with what seemed to be miles of hanging space.
“I’m in love,” she breathed, turning in a slow circle. “Who knew I could be bought for the price of an amazing closet, but apparently I can be and I don’t even have that many clothes.”
“Really? It’s just a few shelves and hanging space.”
“Silly man. It’s so much more. It’s the stuff of dreams.”
She sighed happily, then quickly unpacked. Jasper only used one side of the long vanity, so she set her makeup case on the other and glanced longingly at the tub. For a second she allowed herself to wonder what it would be like to live here permanently—not just to enjoy the magical closet, but to be a part of all of it.
That wasn’t happening, she reminded herself. She wasn’t willing to go there ever again. She was going to be smart and sensible and that was going to be more than enough for her.
While he made them cocktails, she peeked in the refrigerator and saw that yes, indeed, there were ribs and pasta salad and some kind of chocolate cake thing that looked delicious.
“You know how to show a girl a good time,” she said, closing the refrigerator door. “I’m going to have to up my exercise program to make up for tonight’s dinner.”
He pushed a button on a wall panel and soft music immediately filled the space. “Or we can work it off another way,” he said, pulling her into his arms and moving to the beat of the slow song.
She relaxed in his embrace. “You know how to dance.”
“A little. My dad made me take lessons one summer. I was maybe fourteen and at that gangly stage guys go through. I kept tripping over my own feet or stepping on my partner or giggling uncontrollably or getting an erection. It was horrible.”
She smiled. “You were charming.”
“I was a teenager, so no. Not charming.”
She wondered what he’d been like before he’d gone into the army and served so many tours in a war zone. How had he been different? What traits did young Jasper share with the man in front of her?
She relaxed against him, resting her head on his chest. “This is nice.”
“I’m glad. I might not be able to give you babies, but I can seduce you.”
Renee knew exactly what he meant and appreciated the sentiment behind the words, but had a feeling he would immediately freak out. Or the manly-Jasper version of freaking out.
She didn’t have to wait long. There were maybe two beats of silence, then he slowly, carefully, drew back. His eyes were wide and filled what she would guess was panic. His mouth twitched, no doubt from him trying to figure out which words would get him out of the trouble he found himself in.
He cleared his throat. “What I meant was...”
She watched him, thinking she would let him flounder for a couple of minutes before saving him. “Yes?”
“I’m not saying I can’t have children.”
“Good to know.”
“Just that we’re not going there and this is about...” He half turned away and muttered something she was fairly sure was at least R rated. “The thing is... It’s not like we’re looking to fall madly in love and I know—”
“Wow.” She kept her voice soft. “You really are just using me for sex. I don’t know what to say to that.”
Jasper stayed upright on the outside, but she had a feeling he was crumbling on the inside. “Renee, no! What I meant was—”
“No babies for me.” She sighed dramatically. “No love, no anything. Just whatever the night brings.”
She’d been teasing him right up until she realized she was telling herself the truth and it wasn’t pretty. She knew love wasn’t in the cards—she’d tried and failed too many times. She didn’t have another heartbreak in her. But did being sensible have to hurt so much?
None of this was Jasper’s fault. She’d wanted to keep things light between them. She’d chosen him because she knew that was what he wanted, too, and it avoided anything messy. So why, at this moment, did that feel like a bad idea?
She was sure the answer was all wrapped up in Turner and his on-the-way baby and the reason he’d broken things off and that sometimes she felt life really wasn’t fair, but again, none of that was Jasper’s fault. He was playing by the rules they’d mutually established. The rules she still totally supported. She was just having a bad day.
“Renee.” Jasper sounded worried, probably because he thought he’d hurt her.
He hadn’t, not really. In fact he was a really sweet guy who looked out for her. Her feelings were her responsibility and so was the remedy.
“You are the most ridiculous man,” she said softly, then raised herself up on tiptoe and kissed him. “Take me to bed and have your way with me, then feed me ribs and chocolate cake.”
“Done!”
He shocked her by sweeping her up in his arms and carrying her to the bedroom. She hung on to him, not liking the sense of being so out of control.
“We should have talked about this before,” she gasped. “You need to put me down.”
“Probably, but I won’t.”
He bypassed the bedroom and walked directly into the bathroom. She had no idea what he was thinking. Steamy shower? Tub time? Either way, sign her up. But his final destination was the vanity, which she found confusing.
He slowly, carefully, lowered her to her feet, then patted the smooth countertop.
“I’ve been thinking,” he began, his tone suggestive.
“Interesting.” She glanced from the counter to him and saw the heights were perfect. “How much have you been thinking?”
“A lot.”
She laughed and kicked off her shoes, then tugged her T-shirt over her head. She pushed her jeans to the floor and shimmied out of her panties. Seconds later, her bra went flying.
Jasper took care of his own clothes, all the while glancing at her, as if enjoying the show. When they were both naked, he opened a drawer and set a box of condoms next to the sink, then he pulled her close.
She went into his embrace, but instead of just feeling the heat and strength of his body, this time she got to enjoy the way his bare legs felt against hers and how her breasts flattened against his chest. Even as he claimed her mouth with his and slipped his tongue inside, she reached between them so she could take his erection in her hand and stroke him.
He was unbelievably hard—the silky skin of his penis contrasting with the tension just below the surface. She explored the length of him before sliding her hand between his thighs and gently stroking his testicles.
In retaliation, he drew back just enough to lightly nip on her lower lip before kissing his way along her jaw. At the same time he cupped her breasts in his hands and rubbed her hard nipples.
As she had before with him, she found herself going from “this is nice” to “take me now” in about eight seconds. Wanting grew until it was unbearable. She was wet and swollen and hungry for him and there was absolutely no way to get friction. She was just too short to ride his erection and rubbing against his leg seemed sad.
“Condom,” she said, thinking that should get the message across.
“Yeah, no.”
Before she could fully absorb what he’d said, he grabbed her around the waist and set her on the counter. The cold surface shocked her into gasping. The second gasp happened when he placed an openmouthed kiss on her very center, then sucked her clit, all the while filling her with at least two fingers.
It was the most perfect combination of sensations. She couldn’t think, could barely breathe as all her attention focused on the feel of his tongue and lips and fingers moving in tandem, teasing her, testing her, going slow then fast, then faster still until she lost control and screamed as she came.
The shock waves crashed into her, causing her to arch her back and push toward him. He continued to love her until the last shudder faded and she could breathe again.
He gave her clit one last flick of his tongue before he stood and reached for the condom. After putting it on, he pushed into her, filling her, stretching her and making her nerve endings sigh happily.
He grabbed her hips, locked eyes with her and began pumping.
“This is not going to be long,” he said between gritted teeth. “Doing that was incredible.”
She drew back her knees and braced herself as he pumped in and out. “Yes, it was.”
She was just settling in for part two when he called out her name and stiffened. Caught off guard, she couldn’t help laughing.
He groaned. “I know. Unimpressive.”
She ran her hands up and down his arms. “I think I would have liked you at sixteen,” she teased.
“Thanks. It’s your fault.”
“Then I’ll take the compliment.”
He touched her cheek. “Do-over after dinner?”
“Absolutely.”
THE NEXT MORNING, Jasper paused at the entrance to the “hers” closet and studied the single black dress hanging there. On the hanger it was kind of shapeless—at least to him—but he recognized the simple style and could imagine it on Renee’s petite frame. The sleeves would come to her elbows, the scoop neckline was modest and the skirt part would end at her knee.
It was just one dress, hanging in the large closet. There was a pair of plain pumps on a shoe shelf and her tote bag tucked in a corner. Whatever else she’d brought, she’d put away in one of the drawers. Still, he liked seeing her things there. Wynn was the only other woman he’d had over to the house and her visits had been about having sex and then getting back to their lives. Sometimes she’d stayed long enough to have a quick meal, but they’d never lingered over anything and she’d never spent the night.
He found he enjoyed having a relationship that demanded a little more from him. He liked rolling over in bed and finding Renee next to him. He liked her using the other sink and how they worked together to cook dinner and then clean up after. He appreciated that she understood how he worked and wasn’t mad when he disappeared for a few hours to work on his book. If he had to explain the combination of attraction and familiarity, he would say they fit together.
Funny how when he’d first moved to Happily Inc he’d barely been able to nod at people when he went to town and now he was enjoying having a woman spend the night. The mind’s ability to heal was an amazing thing.
He went into his closet and pulled on sweatpants and a T-shirt, then made his way to the kitchen. Renee was hovering over the coffee maker, as if willing it to brew more quickly.
“Rough night?” he asked, his voice teasing.
She glanced at him over her shoulder and smiled. “A good night, but not a lot of sleep.”
She looked well-loved. Her hair was mussed, her skin glowing. She had on some short robe thing and a pair of slipper socks that looked like bright green mice.
When the coffee maker’s steady stream of brew turned into a hissing, gurgling splutter, she gave a sigh of satisfaction, then turned to reach for a mug.
At that exact moment, Koda crossed her path. She spun, nearly ran into him and then jumped back as if any kind of contact with the gentle dog would be fatal. Jasper felt his happy mood evaporate.
What was up with her and the dog? She wasn’t a mean person. She was caring and kind and thoughtful so why was she so apprehensive when it came to Koda?
He waited until they both had their coffee and were seated at the kitchen island.
“Tell me what happened with the dog.”
He spoke softly and deliberately made his tone coaxing. He wanted information, not a fight. There was something she wasn’t sharing with him and he wanted to know what it was.
Renee cradled her mug in both hands. “Nothing. I’m fine. He just, ah, startled me.”
“Were you bitten as a kid? Did someone you know get attacked? There aren’t any scars, so I don’t think a dog came after you. What was it?”
“You don’t want to know.”
So there was something. “I do. Renee, please. You can trust me.”
“Oh, I doubt that.” She set down her coffee and shook her head, as if she were arguing with herself. “It’s not that I don’t like animals. It’s all animals, by the way, not just your dog, and personally I’ve always wanted a cat. There’s just something about their fur and the way they purr. But I can’t and I really don’t want to tell you the reason. It will change everything.”
She looked at him as she spoke and he saw the truth in her eyes. At least the truth she believed. He touched her arm. “Nothing will change. You have my word.”
Her mouth twisted. “You say that now.” She drew in a breath. “Fine. You want to know what my problem is? It’s my mother.”
Jasper hadn’t been expecting that and had no idea how to respond. “Okay,” he said slowly. “What did she do?”
“It’s not what she did, it’s who she is. My mother is... She’s kind of...” She squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them and groaned. “My mother has a psychic ability to communicate with animals. No, that’s wrong. It’s not a two-way communication. She looks at them and knows what they’re thinking, which wouldn’t be horrible. The part that makes everything complicated is once she gets whatever information they want to share, she’s compelled to blurt it out.”
Jasper stared at her and waited for the punch line. The “No, really, here’s what it is,” only Renee stopped talking and stared at him—as if that were it. She was done talking.
He wasn’t sure how to react. Annoyance flared—he was trying to be serious, trying to help her or at least understand. Her response was dismissive and...
She looked at him. “I’m not kidding.”
“Your mother talks to animals?”
“No. She can hear what they’re thinking. It’s a thing. It was cute when I was a kid but then it became a problem, as you can imagine. As I got older, I started to worry that I had it, too, and it’s not anything I want in my life.”
She glanced at Koda and then away. “So far there hasn’t been an indication and my mom swears she had her talent or whatever you want to call it from the time she was born, so I should be safe, but I worry. I don’t want to hear some squeaky voice in my head.”
It was like being back in group therapy at the VA, he thought grimly, listening to the really bad ones try to explain what was happening to them. Or talk to someone who wasn’t there. Only with those wounded in war, he’d been understanding and patient. With Renee he leaned a whole lot more toward pissed and disappointed.
“You are afraid you’re going to start talking to animals, too?” He tried to sound like he was listening instead of fighting anger and he was pretty sure he failed miserably. “Dammit, Renee, I’m serious.”
“So am I.” She slid off the stool and glared at him. “I didn’t want to tell you and you insisted it would be fine, yet here we are. You think I’m lying. Or if you do believe me, you’re now worried that I’m taking a train to Crazytown.” Frustration sharpened her tone. “I’m serious, too, Jasper. This is real.”
She turned and ran for the bedroom. He wasn’t sure what to do, so he gave her a few minutes to get herself together. By the time he followed her, she was already dressed and was throwing her things into her tote bag.
“We have to talk,” he said, wondering when it had all gone wrong. He liked her. He liked being with her, and now this?
“What are we going to talk about?” she asked, her voice thick with emotion. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I knew better and I did it anyway. Well, fine. Now you know. You can believe me or not.” She faced him. “If you have any feelings for me at all, do me one favor. Don’t say anything. I don’t want my life here messed up like it’s been messed up everywhere else, okay? Just keep your mouth shut and everything will be fine.”
He wanted to point out it wasn’t fine now and that they still had to talk and he honest to God had no idea what to say.
Part of him wanted to demand she take it back and explain why she would play such a stupid joke on him, but the rest of him knew it was worse than that. The rest of him knew she believed what she was saying. And if that was true, where did it leave them?
“I’m going to go,” she said.
She grabbed her things and walked out. Jasper told himself to go after her, but he couldn’t. Or he didn’t want to, and in the end, weren’t those the same?
AS SHE DROVE down the mountain, Renee chastised herself. She’d been stupid. No, she’d been what was stupid times a zillion to the millionth squared. She’d made a fool of herself in front a man she really liked and now she had nothing. No guy, no sex and the very real possibility that her life was about to blow up in her face.
She let herself into her apartment and dumped her clothes, then got undressed and stepped into the shower. When the water was flowing over her, she gave in to tears as she worried that she’d screwed up everything.
What had she been thinking when she told him? That he would be fine with it? That he would laugh and say “Hey, that’s cool. What do you want for breakfast?” It didn’t work like that—it never had. What if Jasper told people? What if she lost her job? What if once again she had to pick up the pieces and start over? Because it had happened again and again and again.
At six, her friends had loved that her mom knew what their pets were thinking but in high school it had meant being a freak. Later... Well, she didn’t want to think about that.
She washed her hair and rinsed the tears from her face, then stepped out to start her day. Her stomach was in knots and her heart was heavy to the point of weighing her down.
The potential for disaster was going to follow her for weeks. She would never know if or when Jasper was going to repeat what she’d told him and then what? She loved Happily Inc. Pallas was talking about making her a partner. Everything could be lost if word of the crazy got out.
She got ready for work then drove to Weddings Out of the Box. At least there she could distract herself with various tasks. The weddings this weekend were low-key affairs that wouldn’t require much more than the usual attention, so she would get ahead on the upcoming weddings. There was always plenty to do.
She spent her morning doing her best to get lost in her job. It was impossible to do, but she made the effort and went entire minutes without worrying. She didn’t hear from Jasper, but then why would she? No doubt the man was changing his cell number and considering getting a security system at his house.
A little before eleven, just when she was thinking she should stop drinking so much coffee and eat something, she heard footsteps in the hallway followed by a shockingly familiar voice calling, “Renee? Are you here? Do I have the right place?”
Her mouth went dry, her heart physically stopped beating and her life flashed before her eyes. No. No! But there was no denying the identity of the visitor when her door was pushed open and her mother stepped into her office.
“There you are,” Verity Grothen said with a smile. “Hello, sweetie, and surprise!”