THE NIGHTMARE BEGAN as it always did—on the edge of a road, with the rocky, brown hills behind him. Everything was familiar, but even though he knew what was going to happen, he couldn’t stop his heart from racing as he braced himself for the unfolding chain of events.
The open pickup rounded the corner. Jasper walked toward the driver to check his ID. Jasper’s men were already inspecting the truck. The details were all there—the chill in the winter air, the scent of distant cooking fires, the crunch of his footsteps on the gravel.
Even as he went through the motions, he tried to stop himself, warn his dream-self that there was danger. That there was going to be an explosion and—
A soft whine broke through his dream. Unexpected weight shifted on the bed, drawing him back to the present. He opened his eyes and found himself in his darkened bedroom, Koda stretched out beside him. The dog watched him anxiously.
“Hey you,” Jasper said, feeling his heart pounding and the sweat on his body. The physical manifestations of the nightmare weren’t that bad this time. Koda had awakened him before the really bad stuff started. Before everyone died.
He reached out and rubbed the dog’s head, then sat up so he could catch his breath. It was nearly dawn. Getting up made more sense than trying to sleep again. Safer. He leaned his head against Koda’s strong back and told himself it was just a nightmare. It wasn’t real—not anymore.
“WHEN DO YOU close on the house?” Jasper asked several hours later.
Garrick McCabe stretched out his long legs, picked up his beer and shrugged. “In ten days. I’ve never bought a house before. My real estate agent tells me it’s going really well, but I have to admit the amount of paperwork is staggering. Weren’t we supposed to be a paperless society long before now?”
Jasper grinned. “Try being self-employed. When I bought this place, I thought the bank was going to ask for a blood sample or something. I was lucky—I’d just signed a great deal with my publisher, so I dumped my advance into the down payment and that helped.”
“Makes sense. At least I have W-2s from the city to flash around. Plus, I think being a cop makes me a decent bet. The odds of me taking off and not making my monthly payments seem unlikely.”
Garrick was with the Happily Inc police department. Jasper knew he’d been born in the area and had grown up here. He’d moved to Phoenix to go to ASU and had taken a job with the Phoenix Police Department before moving back two years ago.
He and Garrick had gotten to know each other over games at The Boardroom. Jasper had asked for his help with a couple of details for one of his books and since then Garrick had been a part of the cadre of people Jasper called on to get it right for his characters. Just before the book tour, he and Garrick had gone off to a weekend conference in rural Virginia where cops came from all over to learn about new kinds of weaponry and body armor.
The front door to Jasper’s house opened and a familiar voice called, “Sorry I’m late.”
Koda stood and watched, his hackles raised.
“It’s just Cade,” Jasper told the dog. “You remember him, don’t you?”
Koda stayed on alert until Cade appeared. When he saw the tall man, his tail wagged and he walked over for a greeting.
“Hey, big guy,” Cade said, dropping into a crouch and petting the dog. “You’re looking good. You’ve put on more weight. Another month or so and you’ll be where you should be.”
He stood and nodded at his friends. “I see you started the party without me.”
“Go grab a beer and join us,” Jasper said, hoping he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt. He’d invited his friends over to read pages from his new book. Normally he only needed help with new fighting skills or police procedures, but this time was different. This time he had to deal with Mandy.
Vidar’s love interest, whom he’d named Mandy, was going to be the death of him. So far he’d written and rewritten their first scene eight times. In half, they already knew each other and in the rest, they didn’t. None of them had gone well. He really hated to send his agent crap if he didn’t have to so he was hoping his friends could give him some insights.
Cade returned from the kitchen, beer in hand. He sank into one of the oversize chairs and glanced at Garrick.
“Close on the house yet?”
“In ten days.”
“Let me know if you need help moving.”
“Me, too,” Jasper added.
“I’m good. The place I’ve been staying is furnished, so I only have a few boxes of personal things. I’ll live on a futon for a few weeks, then figure out what I need.”
Cade grinned. “A futon? You’re such a guy. Come on, man. Grow a pair and buy a big-boy bed.”
“In time, in time.”
Cade shook his head. “You losers. You both need a woman in your life.”
“We’re not going to share,” Jasper said mildly.
“Fine. You each need a woman in your life.” Cade sipped his beer. “Being friends with a writer is a pain in the ass.”
“You love being on the fringes of my fame.”
“Fame?” Garrick chuckled. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”
Jasper wanted to continue the banter, but he was too concerned about his story. “So,” he began, then cleared his throat. “I have some pages I’d like you to read. For the new book.”
He told them about the plot—as far as he knew it—and explained that Vidar would be finding a love interest as Jasper wrapped up the series.
“That’s new,” Cade said, studying him. “You don’t put women in your books.”
“Not unless they’re being killed,” Garrick added. “Or they’re a one-night stand for Vidar. Even in bars and stuff, the walk-ons are nearly always men.”
“They’re not,” Jasper protested before wondering if it was true. Given the trouble he was having writing Mandy, it made sense that he’d avoid the whole “female” thing. Write what you know and all that. Which said what about him? That he was so uncomfortable with half the species that he avoided them, even in his books? Was that what he wanted with his life or who he was? He tried to tell himself he’d had a relationship with Wynn, only it hadn’t been much more than someone to have sex with. And how well did he know Renee? So far he liked her a lot, but it had only been the one night.
“Jasper?” Cade’s voice was soft. “You okay?”
“What? I’m fine.”
Both his friends were watching him with studied concern.
“I’m fine,” he repeated. “I’m not having a flashback or anything. I was just thinking.” Damn—the problem was worse than he thought.
He pointed at the pages in the center of the coffee table. “That’s them. Make notes if you want or just set them on fire. Either way, I’d like to know what you really think. No holding back. Being nice isn’t going to be doing me any favors.”
With that, he rose and called to Koda. “We’ll be outside. Let me know when you’re done.”
With that, he walked out of the family room, through the kitchen and toward the back door. Koda followed, his nails clicking on the hardwood floors. Once they were clear of the house, Jasper found a good-sized stick and threw it as hard as he could. Koda raced after it, returning it a few seconds later. He politely dropped it at Jasper’s feet for him to throw again.
While he didn’t know exactly what his friends were going to say, he was pretty sure there wasn’t going to be any praise for what he’d written. He simply didn’t understand Mandy enough to write about her. He couldn’t get in her head or imagine her dialogue. She was as much a mystery to him as the moon.
He liked that she was a wedding planner and, based on what he’d learned from Renee, he’d been able to figure out where Mandy worked, but he needed more details. What did a wedding planner talk about with her clients? What was the happy couple interested in and where did his serial killer make his appearance?
After throwing the stick a few more times, Jasper set off with Koda at his heels. They did a quick circuit in the forest. As always the combination of movement, nature and quiet did its thing and his mind calmed.
Obviously he was going to have to follow Renee through one of her weddings. Go to meetings, watch the decision-making process, meet with the bride and groom. That would clarify the work aspect of things. He would also have to observe women more closely. He needed to figure out how they talked. Maybe he could record some conversations to get the right word usage and cadence.
He and Koda headed back to the house. Cade and Garrick were sitting on the back porch, beers in hand. Both of them tensed when they saw him.
“That bad?” he asked, deliberately keeping his tone light.
His friends shared a glance before Garrick looked at him. “In my version, Mandy’s part robot, part Soviet general during World War II. She’s barking out orders and telling people to be calm.”
“The bride was nervous,” Jasper started, then told himself to shut up. He was here to learn, not justify.
“She wasn’t sympathetic,” Garrick told him. “And the way you describe her walking was just plain weird. Do authors really talk about how a person walks? Don’t we just picture what we want in our head?”
“Sometimes a walk shows character,” Jasper muttered, hoping he didn’t sound defensive. “Thanks for the info.”
“I made some notes on the page.” Garrick shrugged. “I was honest.”
“I appreciate it.” He looked at Cade. “You must have read the kiss scene then.”
Cade shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah, well, that wasn’t a kiss. Damn, Jasper, up against the wall and sucking out her lungs? Where did you come up with that?”
Jasper couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this embarrassed. He wanted to remind them both he was a number one New York Times bestselling author. Several hundred people lined up at his book signings. He was successful and a hell of a writer. Or at least he had been.
He swore silently. “I was trying to show passion.”
“It was either rape or porn. I couldn’t decide which. Sorry, man.”
“No, I need to hear the truth.” He absently patted Koda. “It’s just tougher than I thought it was going to be. Women are hard.”
Cade sighed. “Actually women are soft and they smell good. Not knowing that might be your problem.”
Jasper laughed along with his friends, but deep inside he felt a cold knot of worry. He was totally and completely screwed and he had no idea how to fix the problem.
RENEE DIDN’T KNOW how to tell Jasper that with her period finished, she was more than ready to have another night of whatever he wanted to do with her. A phone call was out of the question. How exactly was she supposed to start that conversation? The same with texting. It would just be too weird.
On the bright side, she had an appointment with him this morning, so maybe she could work it into the conversation somehow. She could mention she was feeling much better. Much, much better. Although she shouldn’t be too enthused. She didn’t want him to think they were going to do it in her office. But their meeting was at eleven, so maybe when they were done talking, they could head to her place for a noontime quickie.
She cleared her emails and confirmed everything she needed to get done for the week, all the while doing her best not to think yummy Jasper thoughts. He strolled into her office right on time, looking all tall and Jasper-sexy.
“Hi,” she said, trying not to sound too excited. Interested was appealing. Desperate didn’t look pretty on anyone.
“Hey.”
She waited for the obligatory “How are you?” to which she was going to say something like “Much better,” as per the plan, only instead of saying anything like that, he paused for a second, then blurted, “We need to talk.”
Noooooooooo! She mentally stomped her foot. She didn’t want to talk. She wanted hot kisses, big man hands and him having with his way with her, none of which she was comfortable sharing so she wasn’t sure what to say, which turned out to be fine because he spoke first.
“I can’t figure out Mandy.”
Mandy? There was a Mandy? Disappointment and a bit of hurt formed a powerful knot in her stomach. “Who’s Mandy?”
“Vidar’s love interest. I finally named her.”
Okay—she was fine with women who weren’t real. “You mean you don’t understand her character?”
“I don’t get anything about her.” He walked to her desk and sat down. “I can’t get a handle on any part of her. Not her background or how she talks or what she’s thinking.”
“Do you have to be in her point of view?”
“I don’t know. I think so. At some point she’s going to be alone with the killer, so we’ll have to know what’s happening. Unless I did it from his point of view, but that seems like cheating.” He glanced up at the ceiling and then back at her.
“I think it would help if I could be more involved with a wedding.”
Coldness settled on her. “What, exactly, does that mean?”
“I need more details about Mandy’s work. Your work. I think if I followed a couple from concept to ceremony, it would make a difference. What are the decisions being made and why? What do they fight about? Where could the serial killer come in? Is he with catering? Is he the officiant? The groom’s father? A guest? I’ve been considering—”
“No.”
She spoke the word firmly, meeting his gaze with as determined a glare as she could muster.
“Just, no. You are not going to get involved in one of my weddings.”
“Why not? I’m following you around anyway. How is this different?”
“You’re following me around in general. Now you’re asking for something specific. Sitting in the corner while I’m on a teleconference is very different from being involved. You’re asking me to insert you into a wedding where you’ll be in all the meetings and possibly influencing the bride and groom so you get what you want rather than them getting what they want.”
“I wouldn’t do that.”
She stared at him without speaking.
“I wouldn’t,” he repeated. “I don’t want to be in the wedding party. I just want to be on the fringes.”
“And if you decide that changing the colors from yellow and green to gold and silver would help your plot, you wouldn’t say anything? Oh, please. Of course you would—in a hot second.”
All her soft, gooey, sexy feelings disappeared, leaving behind a protective anger she was going to put to good use. She didn’t know Jasper very well, but she understood he was a man who was used to getting his way. Only not this time.
“We are talking about the most significant day in a couple’s life together. Weddings often take a year of planning. I’m willing to show you what goes on behind the scenes and you’re already going to help serve drinks at an upcoming wedding, but you will not get involved in the process. The wedding isn’t about you or your book, it’s about the bride and groom. You don’t get to mess with that.”
“I wouldn’t be messing with anyone. I don’t understand. I learn by doing. I need to do this.”
She rose so she could better make her point. “Jasper, let me be clear. I will not have you destroying a beautiful wedding with your serial killer research.”
He looked completely baffled. “I wouldn’t do that. I’m kind of famous. They might be honored.”
“Or horrified.”
He stood—all six-foot-whatever of him—and looked down at her. “You really willing to take me on?”
“Oh, please. I’d take on you and the devil himself to protect my clients. My job is to give them the wedding of their dreams and I will do everything in my power to make that happen. Standing up to you is nothing.”
She spoke with conviction, aware that, with each word, she was most certainly putting an end to any afternoon delight on the Jasper front. On a purely I enjoy a man-induced orgasm as much as the next girl basis, everything about this pissed her off. But none of that really mattered—not when it came to her couples. She could always get a vibrator and a supply of batteries. Her brides and grooms had only one shot at their wedding day.
He started to respond, then simply shook his head and walked out. When he was gone, Renee sank back into her seat and drew in a breath. She’d done the right thing—she knew that down to her bone marrow. But doing the right thing often came with a price and this time that price was Jasper himself.
JASPER STARTED TOWARD his truck, then changed course and went looking for Pallas. He had a feeling she would be more reasonable than Renee.
He had to admit—he hadn’t gotten the reaction he’d been expecting. Yet more proof that he knew less than nothing about women. Were all guys this clueless or was he more lame than most? A question he would have to answer another time, he thought grimly as he stepped into Pallas’s office and looked around.
She wasn’t there and, based on the fact that her computer was off and her desk was clear, he would guess she wasn’t in the building either. Probably for the best, he told himself, as he headed back to his truck. Going over Renee’s head was kind of weaselly on his part. She’d been very clear on her feelings and while he didn’t understand them, he had to respect them. And her. She’d been fired up for sure.
Now, away from the situation, he had to admit she’d been kind of sexy when she’d been yelling at him. She hadn’t been intimidated by him at all. She’d been willing to take him on, no matter what, to protect her clients.
He reached his truck and slid onto the seat, but instead of starting the engine, he pulled out a pad of paper he kept in the glove box, along with a pen and began scribbling notes. He described how Renee had looked as she’d taken him to task—the fire in her eyes and the determined set to her body. Small but mighty, he thought. She was a woman who wouldn’t take crap from anyone—at least not when it came to one of her weddings. He wondered if she was that brave on her own behalf.
Mandy would be the same way, he thought absently. Strong and willing to take on the world. He wasn’t sure a wedding disaster would resonate with his readers but there had to be something... Did she have a baby sister who needed... Did she have a kid?
He looked out the window but instead of the wall of Weddings Out of the Box, he saw Mandy walking a little boy to school. No, a little girl. Mandy would take on the world for her. She would be fearless and determined. And if she was a single mom, getting involved with Vidar would mean higher stakes. She couldn’t bring just anyone into her daughter’s life. Plus, at the end of the book, when her life was in danger, the stakes would be even higher—she had to stay alive for her daughter.
Jasper scribbled notes as quickly as he could, all the while feeling that sense of rightness he got when he finally figured out a problem with his book. He was barely aware of a car pulling in next to his truck until the doors opened and the conversation drifted to him.
“We have to finalize the colors today,” the young woman said with a laugh. “If we don’t, Renee is going to fire us for making her crazy.”
The man with her smiled at her across the roof of the car. “I don’t think a wedding planner can fire the people who hired her.”
“Did you read the entire contract, word for word? I’m guessing there’s a ‘they make me crazy’ clause for situations just like this one.”
Jasper set down his notepad. The man was maybe thirty, about five-ten and wearing a suit. The car was a late model BMW. His bride-to-be was only a couple of inches shorter, with blond hair and a curvy build. They looked successful, happy and in love.
Even as he told himself a smart man would respect what Renee had told him, he was getting out of the truck and closing the door behind him.
“Morning,” he said. “You’re here to meet with Renee, right?”
They looked at him. “We are.”
“Great. I’m Jasper Dembenski.”
The couple exchanged a glance. “I’m Hanna and this is my fiancée, Graham.”
They both looked faintly puzzled and a little concerned as if they were wondering if he was going to try to steal away their business or tell them something bad about Weddings Out of the Box.
He offered them an easy smile. “You’re going to love working with Renee. Her weddings are magnificent.”
Hanna smiled. “That’s what we’ve heard. We’ve only started and we’re on a tight schedule, but so far, so good.” She tilted her head. “Wait, you wouldn’t be the Jasper Dembenski would you?”
“You mean the author?” He raised a shoulder. “I am.”
“Really?” Hanna turned to Graham. “I love his books. They’re the ones you read, too. What are you doing here? Are you getting married? You should so have your wedding here. You’ll love working with Renee.”
“No wedding, at least not the way you mean.” He glanced at the building and knew there would be hell to pay, and yet he was going to do it anyway. “But I am writing a book.”
Hanna’s eyes widened. “A new one? A new book?” She clutched her hands together. “Are you doing research? Is that why you’re here? Say yes! Please say yes.”
Jasper chuckled. “You guessed it. My serial killer will be involved with a wedding. I don’t have all the details yet.”
She waved Graham closer and grabbed his hand. “Do you need to research a specific wedding?” She looked at Graham. “Is it okay if he uses ours?”
“Sure. Can one of us be the serial killer?”
Hanna jumped up and down. “Yes! Pick me. Or Graham. Or my dad! He loves your books, too. We’re doing a Scottish-themed wedding. Does that work for you? Do you want us to change something?”
Because they would, he realized. They would do pretty much anything he asked, which was exactly what Renee had been worried about. That he would turn their wedding into his.
“What I’d like is to observe,” he said. “Just stay in the background and take notes. Maybe ask questions.”
“Anything,” Hanna said. “This is so exciting. I can’t wait to tell my dad. Come on. You have to meet Renee. She’s the best. She’s going to be so thrilled.”
Reality landed like a sucker punch to his gut as Jasper realized Renee was going to be many things, but thrilled wasn’t one of them. Less than twenty minutes after she’d shut him down, he’d managed to get exactly what he wanted. He was still trying to figure out how he was going to explain himself when they walked into her office.
“Hi,” she said, coming to her feet. Then her smile collapsed when she saw him. “What are you doing—”
“You’ll never guess,” Hanna said happily. “This is Jasper Dembenski. He’s an author.”
“Oh, I know exactly who he is,” Renee said, staring at him. “You three know each other?”
“We just met in the parking lot,” Graham said. “Jasper’s writing a book about a serial killer at a wedding and he needs to do some research.”
“He’s going to use our wedding as the backdrop.” Hanna clapped her hands together. “I really hope one of us can be the serial killer.”
Renee’s gaze sharpened as she stared into his eyes. He saw anger and frustration but what hit him the hardest was the disappointment. Then she blinked and the calm, organized wedding planner Hanna and Graham knew was back.
“A serial killer bride would be interesting,” she said pleasantly. “Now about your wedding—let’s go into the conference room and review where we are. As I recall, we were going to have our color choices made by today. How are we coming on that?”
Jasper stepped back so Renee could lead the way. He followed Hanna and Graham down the hall. He knew she was mad now, but it would be worth it. At least that was what he told himself. Whether or not he believed it was another story.