Loss

i.

When the one she prizes

more than breath,

more than her sacred self,

when this prismatic being

plunges perilously ill,

crumbles on cancerous boulders below,

the world greys

<a foreign place>

and she a stranger in it —

an entity that appears woman

but is merely afterimage.

Quaking in the void

where he once stood

her bones weep

for all he was

and was to be

her heart (a monstrous, distorted thing)

bursts to break, to end

the shuddering into another day.

ii.

There is mercy.

In dreamy visions he comes.

Robust and wise

he comforts his mother,

offers her courage

and she clings

to the golden haze.

iii.

Stage IV, they say, and the woman

vows to save him.

She scours the aisles,

dismisses plums, guava, dragonfruit,

cups a mangosteen

pulsing in her palm.

This potent fruit

she brings to him

with rich berries, purple grapes.

Awake, asleep she seeks

solutions, combinations —

minerals, meridians, prayer —

an elixir to right

the riddle of mutated cells.

Down her throat slithers the python.

More metal than flesh, more do than feel

the woman is fearless,

indestructible.

Son, heal her son.

This is the thing and everything.

She kills the python.

iv.

Armed with Olympic dedication

he accepts all challenges

braves the gamut —

torturous treatments, tried and trial.

Ever the athlete, he calibrates,

charges into the fray —

v.

Believing

in the healing peaks

they are pink balloons

on a roller coaster’s rise

dark dominoes

tossed and toppled

when tumors progress.

vi.

What now?

The oncologist shrugs.

There are no comparables.

Such steel.

His trajectory flies

off the charts.

Trust and fear

shuffle.

vii.

He did not trip or tumble.

He did not slip then slide.

He did not stand at the edge of that vast cliff

recklessly bent.

In truth, he wanted to dance,

his children firm in his arms.

To skate until the ice melted.

To celebrate daybreak

and its morning.

viii.

Pasty sky licks the seam

sealing the beams

dense as lead

mashing him into, onto

this mucky earth.

Sweat from the bones

of that faceless sky

clings to thick

phone wire,

skews the spikes

raining upon him

flailing

in the storm.

Out of fog’s density

a cry —

Here, only here

the seam relents.

But the mist mutes,

refutes,

and he is lost.

ix.

His bedroom door dangles

from its frame

leaving space

malleable

while the lidless box stares

at things

best left unnamed —

this roofless house

its mad valve

speckling arms red

mother on her knees

rotating the bloated

his rusted possibilities

doing the math wrong

as her mind bleeds through the doorway

crouches inside the quivery box

screams at December’s claws

unhinging a son’s heart.