A dinghy ride around Auckland Harbour
Fly direct to Auckland, stay at the Kingsgate Hyatt and rent a rubber dinghy.
On the return trip, use a boat to get to Noumea, scuttle this in the Coral Sea, and board a French nuclear submarine to get back to Tahiti, where you can catch onward flights to Paris.
New Zealand, or Aotearoa as it should properly be called nowadays, is a land of snowy mountains, crystal lakes and steamy geysers, all still largely untouched by the modern world. It used to have a reputation as being rather dull, but since the blockbuster Lord of the Rings trilogy was shot there, it has managed to cast off some of that drizzly character.
Nonetheless, it is generally cold and wet, and No Holidaymakers will need good quality waterproof jackets and—for the full option—wetsuits. While at the Hyatt, you may want to ask to stay in the same room used by Colonel Louis-Pierre Dillais (alias Jean-Louis Dormand, alias Head of Operation “Satanic”). This has a fine view of the harbor.
And, it's not there now, but back in 1995, the view would have included the Greenpeace protest boat, Rainbow Warrior. This former fishing trawler, with its colorful rainbow stripes, was docked here as part of a series of protests against the testing of nuclear weapons by France in Polynesia. (Nowadays it lies at the bottom of the ocean acting as an artificial reef.)
But what is there to see in Auckland Harbour today? Not much, although some tourists climb the 1950s bridge, and there is maritime museum, which has a machine to make the floor sway, so maybe a dinghy ride would be fun after all. It is best done in the early evening, after dark. The important thing is not to see things, but to not be seen.
The route is across the grey, misty harbor from Mechanics Bay to Marsden Wharf. It's about a 1.2-mile (1.9-kilometers) paddle, so you may (and this is fully in keeping with the original trip made by French secret agents Jacques Camurier and Alain Tonel) use a motor until the last few hundred feet. Those set on a full-scale reconstruction of the experience, will at this point select a small boat to dive under and—having obtained the necessary government approvals—place two explosive charges against the hull. Then drive back across the harbor and watch the fireworks!
The French government spent a lot of time planning and rehearsing “Operation Satanic” (curious choice!) at their Aspretto base in Corsica, France. They thought the trip needed at least 13 secret agents, including Christine Cabon, alias Frederique Bonlieu, who worked full-time for the DGSE in Paris and at least part-time for Greenpeace and fed information about the activities of the Rainbow Warrior home to headquarters. The rowboat and motor were flown out from Britain, the bombs and diving equipment came from Noumea, and the secret agents came from all over Posing variously as tourists on a mid-winter diving voyage or Swiss tourists on their honeymoon, they took elaborate observation of the harbor for several weeks, including, no doubt, several dinghy rides.
After the first bomb went off under the Rainbow Warrior, the little boat immediately began to sink, but those onboard managed to scramble ashore. After all, most of Greenpeace is staffed by ex-commandos, and many of them are also secret agents. So, for example, as well as the French DGSE agent, there was an ASIS agent from Australia, and such people are good at getting out of sinking boats. Unfortunately there was also one environmentalist, Fernando Pereira, a Portuguese photographer who was there just to film the protests for the Amsterdam daily De Waarheidalong. He bravely, but unwisely, stayed on the boat to try to save his cameras and films. The second bomb probably killed him outright: it blew a hole the size of a garage door in the side of the hull right by his cabin.
Disinformation pointThe thinking behind the French operation in New Zealand is still unclear. New Zealand had annoyed both France and—yes!—America for its anti-nuclear stance and opposition to nuclear testing in the Pacific. An official French “disinformation” inquiry, while admitting French agents were involved, grandly denied the government had ordered it. The buck did not reach, let alone stop at the Elysée Palace. However, further revelations did oblige Defense Minister Charles Hernu to resign and the DGSE chief, Admiral Pierre Lacoste, was eventually dismissed.
The scandal, which the French press quaintly dubbed “Underwatergate,” damaged France's image around the world, but Greenpeace's then somewhat flagging fortunes and finances soared.
There is little risk for environmentalists in visiting Auckland Harbour. Even those traveling on false passports and carrying bombs can offer the New Zealand police a perfectly good explanation, notably, that you are there as part of a conspiracy to blow up a boatload of civilians and are acting for a foreign power. You will then, like the French secret service operatives, be flown home business class.
