“We’re not going to fail them, darlin’,” Sam said.
The depth of her despair only made her look more vulnerable. He wiped away her tears, cuddling her even closer. Still caging her loosely in his arms, he gently kissed her temple. “We never fail when we’re together. It’s only when we split up that we make a mess of things.”
For a brief second, she seemed to take his assertion at face value. Then worry clouded her eyes. “I wish I shared your confidence.”
But she didn’t. She didn’t believe in herself. In him. Or in the two of them.
So he showed her the only way he could what an excellent team they made. Determined to convince her, he lowered his mouth to hers and delivered a deep and sensual kiss. As he hoped, she opened herself up to his embrace just as swiftly. Wreathing her arms about his neck, she let out an involuntary moan and curled against him. Returning the hot, riveting kiss again and again and again. Blood rushing hot and needy through his veins, he slid his hands beneath her shirt and her nipples pearled against the centers of his palms.
“Oh, Sam,” Lulu whispered, as he trailed kisses along the shell of her ear, down the nape of her neck. The tears she’d shed still damp across her face.
She whimpered, another helpless little sound that sent his senses swimming even more. Aware he had never wanted a woman as much as he wanted her, he deepened the kiss. Her mouth was pliant beneath his, warm and sexy, her body soft, surrendering. And still they kissed, sweetly and languidly, hotly and passionately, slowly and tenderly. Until worries faded and pleasure reigned.
Not about to take advantage, though, Sam reluctantly drew back. “Now’s the time,” he teased, looking deep into her eyes. “Tell me to stop.” He caressed the damp curves of her lip with his fingertip. “Or go.”
Her turquoise eyes smoldered. “Go,” she said, smiling and taking him by the hand and leading him down the stairs, away from everything that had been so upsetting, to her bedroom. She shut the door behind them. She plucked a brand-new box of condoms from the nightstand drawer.
“Definitely go.” She shimmied out of her skirt. Drew her blouse off, too.
“Gotta say,” he drawled, enjoying the view of her in a peach bra and panties set, knowing she had obviously planned ahead. “I like the way this is going.” The fact she’d known, just as he had, that despite all the problems still facing them, they would make love again.
She toed off her sandals. “Good.” She motioned toward his clothes. “Your turn, cowboy.”
Appreciating the reckless, sexy side of her, he stripped down to his boxers.
Her delicate brow lifted. “Keep going.”
He didn’t need to glance down to know he was getting pretty far ahead of her. “Ah...sure?”
Mischief and her typical zest for life sparkled in her smile. Tilting her head to one side, she gave him a lusty once-over. “Mmm-hmm.”
“What the lady wants.” He obliged and saw her eyes go wide.
Rationally, Lulu knew they shouldn’t be making love again, at least not so soon, when the last time he’d been so casual, and she’d felt so inexplicably conflicted, afterward. But for now, as she sauntered toward him, took him in her arms and kissed him again, all she could think about was how much every one of them had been through in such a brief span of time, how short life was. How unpredictable. The only thing she could count on, besides this very moment they were in, was how good she felt whenever she was with him. How grateful that they had found each other again.
With a low murmur of appreciation, Sam stopped kissing her long enough to ease off her bra and panties. Her hands rested on his shoulders while he helped her step out. Still kneeling, he savored the sight of her, then kissed her most sensitive spot. She quivered, clinging to him like a lifeline, aware that she was on the brink.
He left her just long enough to retrieve a condom and then roll it on. Then he settled her against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist and they were kissing again. Touching. Caressing. Finding and discovering every pleasure point.
She was wet and open. He was hot and hard. So hard. And then there was no more waiting. He surged inside her and she welcomed him home. All was lost in blazing passion and overwhelming need. Pleasure spiraled. Soared. And then they floated blissfully down into a satisfaction unlike anything she had ever known.
Afterward, they clung together, still pressed up against the wall, their bodies still entwined and shuddering with release. Eventually, he let her down. Sam kissed her shoulder tenderly as her feet touched the floor, and she continued leaning up against him, snuggled into the warm, strong embrace of his arms. “Feeling better?” Sam asked.
Suddenly realizing that she and Sam and their three little boys might comprise the perfect family after all, Lulu murmured against his shoulder, “Always, when we make love.”
“Same here.” Sam gave her another angel-soft kiss, then drew back just far enough to see her face. “Anything else on your mind?”
“I was thinking about what you said, about us never failing when we’re together.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s true.”
Lulu thought about what else she had learned from growing up McCabe. Mindful of the time, she eased away from him and began to dress. “When you add the reality that the foundation of every happy family is the relationship of the couple at its heart.” She drew a deep, bolstering breath, as she shimmied into her panties. “It makes sense that we need to be united in every way we can be.”
Sam pulled on his boxers and stepped behind her to help her fasten her bra. Grinning, he said, “Including bed?”
Lulu sighed luxuriantly. “Definitely including bed. Though I’m still not sold on the two of us actually getting married in order to make that happen,” she cautioned candidly while she pulled on her blouse.
Sam tensed, as if an old wound was reopened. “Because you don’t want to be married to me?”
Lulu flushed self-consciously, warning herself she had nothing to feel guilty about as long as she was being completely honest with him. “Because I don’t think that legal formality is even necessary these days,” she clarified.
An indecipherable emotion came and went in Sam’s eyes.
“But,” she went on with heartfelt enthusiasm, “I am definitely on board with co-adopting the children with you.” She paused to look him in the eye. “And I want to start that process as soon as possible.”
To get things moving, Sam called their attorneys that same afternoon. Liz and Travis agreed to meet with Lulu and Sam the following day while the triplets were in preschool. Their two attorneys listened while Sam and Lulu outlined their plans, occasionally exchanging lawyerly looks and appearing concerned about the speed with which Lulu and Sam had reached their decision.
“Travis and I understand you want to protect the triplets,” Liz said gently. “But there is a big difference between being co-guardians and adoptive parents, at least in terms of the court.”
“Meaning?” Lulu asked nervously.
Sam reached over and squeezed her hand. A week ago, Lulu would have pulled away. However, today, feeling like they were members of the same family unit, she relaxed into his reassuring grip.
Both their attorneys noticed. Sobering all the more, Travis said, “To become a guardian, when you’ve been named by the parents in their will, is a fairly simple matter. You express a willingness to do so, papers are signed, and it’s a done deal. Unless of course, there is some obvious reason why it shouldn’t happen.”
“But when you petition to adopt,” Liz continued where her husband left off, “you have to complete a formal application and petition the court, undergo home studies and background checks.”
“What are they looking for?” Sam asked.
Liz spread her hands. “Any signs of potential problems. Or instability.”
“You mean mental instability?” he asked, perplexed.
“Or personal,” Liz explained. “Like if someone’s had multiple marriages or ones that only lasted a day, has been consistently fired from or quit their jobs, things like that...”
Lulu froze.
Travis jumped in. “Everything is looked at. Your finances, your family histories, your lifestyle. You have to provide character references and show proof of any marital history or divorce. It’s a lot to undergo. Particularly when you already have your hands full just trying to acclimate the kids to their new circumstances.”
Liz lifted a soothing hand. “It’s not that we’re expecting anything problematic to come up.”
Unable to prevent herself from worrying, Lulu tried to figure out how to ask the question without revealing what she was really stressed about. “But what if it did? What if there were, I don’t know, say, unpaid parking tickets? Or a noise violation?” Or other evidence of reckless behavior. “From years ago?”
Sam turned to look at Lulu. Poker-faced, but concerned.
“Then we’d address it,” Liz said soothingly.
“But of course it would be better if we knew about any potential issues before making any formal application or getting social services involved,” Travis said.
“Agreed.” Sam suddenly looked every bit as on edge as Lulu felt. Still, he sounded calm when he added, “Which is why we should probably go ahead and have your law firm do complete background checks on both of us. Just so we can see what does come up, and if there is anything, deal with it.”
“I agree with Sam.” Lulu did her best to mimic Sam’s laid-back attitude.
Liz and Travis seemed a little surprised by their request, but readily agreed.
Trying not to look at Sam, for fear she would give away what it was they were both trying like hell to hide, Lulu asked, “How long will it take?”
Travis shrugged. “Depends on how far back you want our investigator to go.”
“As far back as they can,” Sam said. He was no longer looking at Lulu, either.
Travis made a note on the legal pad in front of him. “Probably seven to ten days.”
“Relax.” Liz smiled. She got up to walk them out. “Knowing the two of you and your squeaky-clean reputations, I’m sure it will be fine.”
But would it? Given Lulu and Sam’s rocky romantic past?
Sam looked over at her as they left their attorneys’ office. “I think we need to talk.”
“I agree.”
They walked over to The Cowgirl Chef and picked up a couple of cold drinks—a mocha frappé for her and a black iced coffee for him—and then headed for the park in the center of town. As they moved across the grass toward one of the benches in the shade, Lulu sent him an anxious glance. “Do you think that what happened in Tennessee is likely to come up?”
Sam sat down beside her and draped his arm along the back of the bench. He kept his voice low as she settled beside him. “No idea if it will or not, darlin’, since there was never any follow-through on our part and therefore nothing put on record. But it will probably be good to know for sure.”
Lulu worked her straw back and forth between her fingertips. “What about my business? The theft I just had?” She took a long sip of her drink, then dropped her hand and ran her fingertip along the hem of her pretty cotton skirt. It had ridden up above her knee and showed several inches of bare, silky skin. “Will that make me look irresponsible for not having had a security system installed on the property?”
He moved his gaze upward, past the scoop-necked knit top cloaking her slender midriff and the swell of her breasts, to the flushed pink color in her face. She had put her honey-brown hair up in a neat knot on the back of her head before the meeting. She looked beautiful and kissable and frustrated as all get-out. He moved his hand from the back of the bench to cup her shoulder gently.
“It’s Laramie County, Lulu. We don’t usually need security systems here since pretty much everyone who resides here is honest and neighborly. The court will understand that.”
She shifted toward him, her bare knee brushing up against his jean-clad thigh. “Yes, but will they understand I haven’t decided whether or not I even want all my bees back?”
“The court will probably want to know what your plans are in that regard. If you decide not to work, at least for now in order to take better care of the kids, I’m sure the court would be okay with that. Especially since we can well afford to take care of them on my income alone.”
Lulu met his eyes, then shifted forward again. “I know but I really don’t want to look like a dilettante. And we both know, during college and for a couple years after, I was pretty flighty.”
Sam liked the idea of her leaning on him, even if it was just for moral support. “And you worked through that and built a business to be proud of. I really don’t see it as a problem.”
Shame flushed her cheeks. “I really don’t want anyone to find out about the choices we made on spring break.”
“Hopefully, they won’t.”
Lulu crossed her arms beneath the soft curves of her breasts and took another sip of her coffee. “And if they do?”
He paused, taking in the anxious twist of her lips. Unlike her, he didn’t regret what they had done, not then and not now, just how they had let it end. But he had been older at the time of what she had once referred to as Their Big Mistake.
He squeezed her shoulder. Knowing he would do whatever he had to do to protect her, he leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Then we’ll deal with it, Lulu. The best way we know how.”
“Well, there’s one good thing about having the kids in preschool five half days a week,” Lulu said the following morning. They’d returned to the ranch after drop-off, ready to tackle that day’s To Do list. “It gives us time to do the things we couldn’t do otherwise.”
Sam followed her up to the second floor. “Which would normally be sleep,” he joked.
“No kidding.” Lulu walked into the boys’ room, where the beds were still unmade. She reached for the covers on one bed. Sam, another. “I never thought I’d want just one solid night of shut-eye so badly.”
Looking sexy as could be in a T-shirt and jeans, he arranged blankets and stuffed animals against the pillows. “That’s what being a parent is all about, isn’t it?” He straightened and waggled his eyebrows at her. “Losing sleep? For the best possible reason?”
To comfort them. And each other. Speaking of which... Lulu glided into Sam’s arms. Hugged him fiercely. “I love those little guys.”
Squeezing her back, he rasped, “So do I.” They stayed that way another long moment. Sam stole a few kisses, as Lulu knew he would. Then gave her another long, affectionate hug. “Now, if we could just figure out how to get them sleeping through the night, in their own bed,” he murmured against her hair.
Lulu thought for a moment. “Maybe it would help if we set up their bedroom more like it used to be. We have photos.” She went to get some.
Sam studied the layout with her. “Definitely worth a try.”
Together, they shifted the three toddler beds from the U shape they had been in, with the beds pushed up along the sides of the bedroom, into a neat dormitory-style row, with all the headboards against the same wall. They took the rocker glider out of the corner, as well as the box of toys, and put both out into the upstairs hall for later rearranging.
Hands on her hips, Lulu studied their handiwork, lamenting, “They won’t be able to play in here at all.”
Sam moved behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on the top of her head. “Well, maybe that was the idea,” he said, bringing her softer form back against his hard body. He pressed a kiss into the top of her hair, the shell of her ear. “Theresa and Peter wanted their bedroom to be a dedicated sleeping space and nothing more.”
“Maybe.” Lulu leaned against Sam another long moment, then went over to stack their bedtime storybooks on top of the room’s lone bureau containing their clothing. Among them was the one Kate Marten-McCabe had given them.
Sam frowned, and, as was happening more and more these days, seemed to read her mind. “I know the grief specialists said reading this to the kids would help,” he ruminated, “but I get the feeling they think it’s just another story, and one they don’t really want to hear.”
“I know what you mean.” Lulu sighed. “I don’t think they make the connection between their own grief and the loss the little boy and girl in the storybook experience.”
Sorrow clouded Sam’s eyes. “Me, either.”
For a long moment, neither of them spoke.
“Maybe it will come in time,” he offered finally.
“And maybe,” Lulu said, knowing they needed more than hope, they needed action, “what we really need is a book about the boys and their journey.”
Crinkling his brow, he walked over to look at the book she was holding. “You mean superimpose their pictures and names in this storybook?”
“Actually, I think we should go one better.” Lulu gestured for Sam to follow her and walked into the guest room she was using, where she had stashed several of the boxes of old photos and mementos.
“Maybe we should put together a story about Peter and Theresa. How they fell in love. Had the triplets. And all lived together happily. And then there was an accident. Their parents went to heaven. The boys went to stay with a number of other people. Before they ended up with the two of us and Beauty.”
Sam ran his palm across his jaw. “So they would understand.”
Eager to get him fully on board with the idea, she clamped her hands on his biceps. “Maybe we could end it with them blowing kisses at their parents in heaven, and their parents looking down on them, happy they are okay. So they can see there is still, and will always be, some connection.”
“That could work.” Sam grinned down at her, his enthusiasm building.
“It will work,” Lulu said. Happy she and Sam were becoming such a good team, she rose on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.
He squeezed her waist affectionately. “Then let’s get to it!” he said.
Lulu downloaded self-publishing software that helped her write and format the custom story that evening, after the kids were asleep, while Sam sorted through the photos, selecting the ones she needed.
Together, they put the book together, and while it would never make bestseller status, it did explain with words and pictures how many people loved the triplets and how they had come to live at Hidden Creek Ranch.
They printed it out, took it into town the following day to have it laminated and bound at the copy shop, and read it to them that evening after their baths. Sam and Lulu sat together with the three boys sprawled across their laps, the homemade storybook held out in front of them.
“Again,” Theo said enthusiastically when Lulu had finished.
Ethan pointed to the photos of Theresa and Peter. “Mommy,” he said. “Daddy!”
Andrew leaned his head on Sam’s shoulder. “Heaven,” he murmured.
Beauty, who had been stretched out at their feet, sat up. As she looked from one triplet to another, she seemed to be offering comfort and condolence.
The only problem was, all three boys wanted to take the new book to bed with them. To the point where there was almost a free-for-all.
“Hang on, guys,” Lulu said, rushing off. She returned with a photo of Peter and Theresa for each of them. “Would you like to sleep with these tonight?” she said.
Three little heads nodded.
“Okay, then, up you go.” Sam picked up Ethan and Andrew. Lulu hefted Theo in her arms. They went up the stairs.
Although the new bedroom arrangement hadn’t done much to relax the boys the night before, they weren’t giving up. Lulu put on a CD of lullabies she had found in one of the moving boxes. As the soft orchestral music filled the room, the boys perked up, listening, then snuggled down on their pillows, photos, stuffed animals and blankets in their arms.
Sam sat, his back to the wall, between beds one and two, while Lulu planted herself between beds two and three.
The boys continued listening. Child by child, eyes shuttered closed.
Sam and Lulu turned on the monitor and eased from the room.
“We should do more of this,” she whispered. “Helping them remember, like Kate suggested. I think it really might help.”
Sam took her hand and led her down the hall. He bussed her cheek. “Maybe you and I should do some remembering, too.”