I’m dozing off in the big, comfy chair in the corner of Dad and Sarah’s light-filled lounge room. A copy of The Tar Baby, which I just read to Jake, is still in my lap. Sarah’s gone off to have a nap, leaving Alice in her bassinette under the tall window across the room. Dad’s clattering in the kitchen, clearing up our lunch stuff.

‘Alith!’ Jake’s reedy voice slices through my sleepiness. ‘Wake up!’

‘Jake, no!’ I’m supposed to be watching him and look what he’s done. He’s pushed his little stool over next to Alice’s bassinette and he’s reaching in …

I bound over just in time to see him gently pry open Alice’s left eyelid.

‘Jake,’ I scold, grabbing his hand, ‘you’re not supposed to touch babies’ eyes.’

‘She sleeped enough!’

‘No, she didn’t. Sarah just put her down a few minutes ago. She’ll be really grumpy if you wake her up now.’

‘See,’ Jake says calmly, ‘she isn’t grumpy.’

I look into the bassinette. Alice, dressed only in a nappy and a tiny singlet that shows her fat tummy, grins up at me like anything. She waves her miniature fists, kicks her legs and makes these gorgeous little noises she didn’t know how to do when I was here before.

‘I guess you’re right,’ I say to Jake. ‘She isn’t grumpy.’

‘What’s up?’ Dad comes out of the kitchen, drying his hands on a tea towel.

‘I think they’re too excited to have a nap,’ I say. ‘Naps are for nerds!’ Jake yells.

‘I wish we’d never read him that particular book,’ Dad comments.

‘Let’s go to the playground,’ Jake suggests.

Dad looks resigned as he tickles Alice’s stomach. ‘She’s not likely to go back to sleep now,’ he says.

I know how much Dad likes his rests on Saturday afternoons. ‘I could take them,’ I volunteer.

‘Yeah!’ Jake dances around like a happy dog about to go for a walk. ‘Kaitlin can take me on the flying fox and we can climb the fort and Alith can go on the see-saw!’

Dad puts on the front pack that he carries Alice in. ‘I’ll come, too,’ he says, his voice more awake now. He reaches into the bassinette and picks Alice up. ‘It’s not every day I get to go to the park with both of my beautiful daughters.’

‘At least your dad won’t have any trouble getting Jake to sleep,’ Sarah says.

‘Yeah,’ I agree, ‘he ran around like a maniac all afternoon.’ My head is still ringing with, Kaitlin, look at me! And Kaitlin, watch this! Not to mention I’m the king of the castle and you’re the dirty rascal!

It’s very peaceful here in comparison. Sarah brought me and Alice to this vegetarian restaurant near the university for what she calls a girls’ night out. It’s kind of a hippie place, with beaded curtains and notices for rooms to rent and books about spirituality. Sarah likes it because there’s a sign on the front window that says, Breastfeeding Welcome. Plus the food is delicious. I’m having a chickpea curry with a lot of little side-dishes and Sarah’s got veggie lasagne.

‘Yum,’ Sarah says, closing her eyes in appreciation as she bites into a slice of warm garlic bread. ‘I wish Ali would take pity on me and stay asleep until we finish eating.’

‘She looks pretty zonked,’ I say. We’re in a wooden booth with high backs. I’m sitting across from Sarah. Ali’s still strapped into her car capsule, perched on the seat next to Sarah. There’s a candle in the middle of the table, flickering against the dark wood, making it seem like the three of us are enclosed in our own little world.

‘She’s the picture of peace now.’ Sarah reaches over to pinch a forkful of my curry. ‘But babies have special radar that wakes them up when their mothers begin a nice meal.’

‘Maybe she got so exhausted at the playground it’ll override the radar.’

‘Let’s hope so!’

Sarah savours several bites of her lasagne, then takes a sip of her iced tea and says, ‘Tell me about these new friends of yours.’ She looks at me as if there’s nothing she’d rather do than listen to my answer.

‘Well,’ I say, feeling warm with pride as well as good food, ‘Olivia’s sort of the leader of our group. She’s got long black hair and she’s really pretty. Her room is huge with all this cool stuff in it. Tiffany’s the prettiest. She’s got a bunch of pets and she’s interested in animal rights.’

I take some cucumber slices from one of my side dishes, thinking how it was the greatest feeling in the universe to describe those cool girls who are actually my friends. And I saved the best till last. ‘Olivia and Tiffany are models,’ I say.

I wait for Sarah to comment on that, but instead she says, ‘I thought there were three of them. Isn’t that what you told me on the phone?’

Sometimes I wish she wouldn’t listen quite so well. ‘Umm … Charlotte kind of decided to drop out of our group.’

‘Oh? Why is that?’

‘Because she, well, she … she got these other two friends.’

‘That happens sometimes,’ Sarah says sympathetically.

I don’t feel so great anymore. What if I end up like Charlotte? Right now they could be sitting beside Tiffany’s pool, saying how I’ve failed the trial because I chose this over their party. I’d better write Charlotte an exceptional note to make up for it.

‘Kaitlin?’

‘Yeah?’ I look at Sarah in the candlelight.

‘Just remember they’re lucky to have you, too.’

Alice begins to stir. It’s a good thing Sarah managed to finish most of her lasagne while I was talking about my friends. She swallows the last bit as Alice starts to howl. ‘Okay, possum,’ Sarah says, pulling the velcro strap off Ali’s middle and lifting her out of the capsule, ‘it’s your turn now.’

Sarah takes Alice in her arms, unbuttons her shirt and Alice’s cries turn to quiet little sucking noises. I love watching her drink.

‘Want some dessert?’ Sarah asks me.

‘I shouldn’t.’

‘Oh, come on. They make the yummiest blackberry cobbler. I’m still hungry, but then I’m always hungry with this little vampire gorging herself.’

‘Okay, I guess I used up a few kilojules running after Jake.’

Sarah takes a scarlet serviette out of the chunky wood dispenser and wipes her eyes.

‘What’s wrong?’ I ask.

‘I’ve got too many hormones!’ Sarah smiles even as more tears form. ‘It’s just … sometimes I feel guilty about your dad leaving you and your mum. But,’ she blows her nose, ‘at the same time I feel so blessed to have him. I can’t imagine a better soulmate than him. And I’m so lucky to have you, too!’

Now I feel like crying. Sarah goes on, ‘It’s such a bonus that my children get to have you as their big sister.’