I don’t want to go to the school. I really don’t. Because after everything I have gone through, and after everything I have endured, going back seems like a punishment unto itself.
But I have to.
Jackson and I still have things waiting for us in our lockers. The stuff in mine is nothing overly personal, of course, but just because the stuff inside isn’t overly personal doesn’t mean that I want it to be taken by the security officer on duty.
For that reason, I prepare to make my trek into town on this Monday morning—when, at the crack of dawn, and at a time when I would normally rise to prepare for a day like this, I rise from my bed and begin to dress.
“You’re still coming with me?” I say. “Right?”
Jackson lifts his eyes from where he stands at the sink eating a piece of toast. “Why wouldn’t I?” he asks.
“I don’t know. Maybe because you don’t want to?”
“I’d feel better if I went with you.”
“Why?”
“I just would.”
I decide not to push it and instead make my way toward the door.
“Can I at least finish my toast?” Jackson asks.
“I’d prefer we went now, so we don’t get stopped by the security guard, or worse: the counselor.”
Jackson frowns, but shoves the last of his toast into his mouth before saying, “Okay. Let’s go.”
I start out into the cool autumn air with the knowledge that this may be the last time I ever set foot in the high school. Physically warm on the outside due to my insulated sweater, but cold on the inside because of my feelings over the matter, I cross my arms over my chest and try my hardest to keep from feeling down about the entire thing, but find myself doing just that regardless.
I’d wanted my senior year to be typical—a time where I could have prepared for the future with the knowledge that I would eventually be pursuing a career in wildlife rehabilitation. Here, though, and now, I know that will never happen.
No.
The matters at hand, and the forces that be, have declared that I will not have an ordinary future, that I will not have an ordinary life.
My parents are gone. I live with strangers. I am no longer an ordinary girl. Instead, I am now a shifter—one whose rage had allowed an angry spirit inside not only my body, but my mind.
And who killed for you, I remind myself. Don’t forget that.
I shake my head as we continue down the road—as we progress up the dirt path that will eventually lead to the high school at the far edge of town.
Almost instantly, I remember that time only a few fateful days ago.
Seeing the wolf—
Meeting Jackson—
Experiencing a life altered, a present changed—
“Oaklynn,” Jackson says, drawing me out of my reverie.
“Yeah?” I ask.
“You’re shaking.”
“It’s just a little cold,” I say, hoping the lie is bold and brazen enough to catch him off guard.
“If you say so,” Jackson offers, then stretches his arms over his head. “Almost there.”
“Yeah,” I say. “We are.”
The moment the school comes into view is the moment where I feel all my self-doubt and loathing come back.
“You ready for this?” Jackson asks as we cross the front lawn and begin to merge into the crowd of students.
“Yeah,” I reply. “I am.”
We step toward the double doors—
Enter through them—
Then through the second set—
Only to find a staggering sight.
Displayed, in the front hall, directly across from the front entrance, are the pictures of the young men the Dark Wolf killed. Surrounded by flowers, and arranged below the school’s various trophy cases, the four pictures—and the faces they captured—look out at me as if they are judging me from beyond the grave.
I swallow immediately upon looking at them.
“Oaklynn?” Jackson says. “Are you—“
“Let’s just get this over with,” I say, and make a bee-line toward the lockers.
I know the urgency must appear odd—that it must seem callous—but I can’t care, not when there’s so many people around, not when those young men’s faces are staring back at me.
Spinning my combination is a torturous activity. Opening, and then pulling back the tape on the pictures arranged inside the locker, is comparable to pulling scabs off still-healing wounds.
“You have much in there?” Jackson asks.
“No,” I say as I continue to pull pictures off the inside of the locker. “Just a few pictures is all.”
“Do you need me to—“
“So you really aren’t coming back,” J’vonte says.
I jump. “J’von,” I say.
My friend’s full lips form into a pout as she considers the picture I pull from the locker. It is of us as little girls, possibly no older than ten, hugging at an elementary school event—her in yellow-and-black honeybee stripes, me in my usual white shirt and blue jeans. A smile tugs at her lips for only a moment, then disappears. That is when she says, “I thought you’d change your mind.”
“I can’t come back,” I say. “Not… not yet.”
“What are you going to do about college?”
“I can get into a community school,” I reply. “I… I can take my GED.”
“I know you’re scared, Oak, but you have to consider how this is going to change your future. How this is going to change your life.”
“My life’s been changed already, J’von. I can’t make things go back to normal.”
“I know.” J’vonte sighs and presses a hand to my shoulder. “I just feel bad.”
“Why?”
“For not being able to help you. For not being able to do anything.”
“You being here, and talking to me, helps, J’vonte.”
“I try,” the girl says, before turning her eyes to look toward the front office. “Are you just going to leave your books in there?”
“There’s only a few,” I say. “So… yeah. I think that’d be for the best. Don’t you?”
“Easier than lugging them to each class and getting looks for returning them,” my friend offers, then nods. She frowns as she considers the clock over the front office. “I have to go. But Oak.”
“Yeah?”
She draws me into a one-armed hug. “Good luck with everything you’re doing. I know it isn’t going to be easy, especially now that your parents are gone, but… just remember that I’m always here for you.”
“I will,” I say.
J’vonte spins and, in the blink of an eye, disappears down the hall.
Leaving me and Jackson to watch her depart.
“You’re sure you want to leave school?” Jackson asks as I pull the last picture from the locker.
“There isn’t anything left for me here,” I reply. “I just… I can’t. Not after—“
“You don’t have to say it.”
I nod.
Then I close the locker, turn, and with Jackson at my side, leave Red Wolf High School behind for good.