Baked fish with olives and feta
Slow-cooked lamb shanks with celeriac mash
Coq au vin with roasted broccoli
Toasted Cheese
One of the many unreasonable criticisms of the Standardized Meal System is that it is not sufficiently “healthy.” Today’s lunch, which consists largely of wheat and fat, is likely to provoke such comments. The people making the criticism are probably (a) not examining the meal in the context of the full week’s menu; (b) relying on unscientific ideas (the bread contains gluten, which is not harmful unless you have an intolerance); and (c) unable to provide evidence that their own eating regimen is better – not even able to produce a week’s summary.
People who choose to do something in an organized (or unconventional) manner are held to a higher standard than people who do not. The Standardized Meal System is not provably perfect, but it is almost certain to be healthier than most people’s semi-random and fad-influenced diets.
In fact, this meal is intended to improve mental health, as it prompts happy memories of my mother cooking cheese on toast for weekend and holiday lunches. You may wish to substitute some other meal with similar effects.
Also, any meal I cook is likely to be healthier than Dave’s Diabetic Breakfast (named because it was likely a contributor to his Type 2 diabetes), which he was eating every day. (Brush bacon with maple syrup1 and cook in oven until crisp. Fry eggs, potatoes, and optionally black pudding and mushrooms in butter. Eat with white bread and jam, and white coffee with sugar.)
COMMON RESOURCES
Generic “cheddar” cheese
RECIPE-SPECIFIC INGREDIENTS
Bread
PROCESS
Time: 10 minutes.
Activate grill. Slice 2 slices of bread (if not already sliced) – more, if the bread cross-section is small or you are hungry.
Slice sufficient cheese to cover the bread. Do not put it on the bread yet.
Place bread under grill until slightly colored (light brown).
Remove bread from grill, turn over, and add cheese to untoasted side to cover. Place under grill until cheese bubbles.
Turn off grill. Remove and serve.
VARIATIONS
Spread butter and / or yeast extract (Vegemite) on the bread immediately before adding cheese. Alternatively – as preferred by Hudson – spread the yeast extract (carefully, in order not to break the thin cheese crust) over the cooked product.
Upgrade to full double-slice toasted sandwiches made in a commercial device, and / or add traditional toasted-sandwich ingredients such as tomato and ham.
Oysters Natural; Baked Fish with Olives and Feta
Recommended alcohol: for the oysters, I recommend a Chablis or unoaked sauvignon blanc.
With the fish: rosé or a light red wine, as it is winter, the dish has strong flavors, and I like red wine.
Many people do not like oysters. Most people have an aversion to some food or taste: sea urchin, sea cucumbers, jellyfish, snails, coriander, yogurt, olives, anchovies, cauliflower, milk, tomalley. I recommend you reflect on the food you find most distasteful and imagine being forced to eat it.
As an adult, you are unlikely to be faced with this scenario. But when I was a child, I was required to eat things I didn’t like, on the basis that I would get used to them, suffer malnutrition without them, or even that I was somehow contributing to world hunger. These arguments were without merit. As an adult, my tastes have changed, but not because of forced exposure.
If you don’t like something, I recommend you delete it from the menu (I assume you will do that even without my advice). If your child or someone in your power such as an elderly parent does not like something, I recommend you do the same. Not to do so would demonstrate a severe lack of empathy, which is generally regarded as a major character fault.
On the topic of empathy, it is unlikely that oysters feel pain. Also, I was told that opening an oyster kills it immediately – hence the advice to purchase them unshucked. As a result of doing so, I injured my knee1. The advice was faulty. You should not eat a dead oyster (you can test for decay by smelling). But I now purchase oysters from a vendor who I trust to have shucked them very recently, and eat them the same day.
COMMON RESOURCES: OYSTERS
2 lemons
RECIPE-SPECIFIC INGREDIENTS: OYSTERS
12 fresh oysters in shells
COMMON RESOURCES: BAKED FISH WITH OLIVES AND FETA
1 lemon
18 pitted black olives
100 g feta cheese (optional)
1 tbsp capers
50 ml white / rosé wine (optional – if you are not drinking white or rosé wine, delete; the flavor contribution is minimal and red wine will have a negative impact)
RECIPE-SPECIFIC INGREDIENTS: BAKED FISH WITH OLIVES AND FETA
350 g fish fillet(s) suitable for baking with tomatoes and olives (as recommended by fishmonger)
14 cherry tomatoes or 1 large conventional tomato
Plate for serving oysters
Baking dish with lid
Zester or grater
Plate for lemon zest
Bowl
Lemon squeezer
PROCESS
Time: 37 minutes, including 25 minutes unallocated time.
Heat oven or barbecue to 190 degrees.
Zest and squeeze 1 lemon.
Cut cherry tomatoes in half (or conventional tomato into pieces of this size).
Use knife to “crumble” feta (10 seconds chopping).
Put 3 tablespoons of olive oil in baking dish.
Put fish in baking dish.
Add white wine.
In sequence, put tomatoes, olives, capers, feta, lemon zest, lemon juice, and 1 tablespoon of olive oil on top of the fish.
Put lid on dish, place in oven, and set timer for 25 minutes.
Cut 2 lemons into 4 wedges each. Put the oysters on a plate with them. Ensure a pepper grinder is on the table. Eat oysters.
When timer sounds, serve the fish.
Add toppings to the oysters: for example, 1 tablespoon of soy sauce, 1 tablespoon of vinegar, 1 teaspoon of sesame oil (mixed).
Cook the oysters using the “Kilpatrick” recipe. This recipe provides “something for everyone”: Worcestershire sauce for me, bacon for Dave, oyster death for Rosie.
Replace the fish with raw (“green”) prawns (shrimp).
Slow-cooked Lamb Shanks with Celeriac Mash
Common Resource Maintenance and Advance Preparation:
Jerusalem Artichoke Soup for Tuesday (and tonight)
Coq au Vin for Tuesday (it will be improved by reheating)
Potato and Leek Soup (if required)
Chicken Stock (if required) – refer Summer Sunday for recipe
Sunday meal preparation is intended to be time-consuming. Thanks to standardization, the work imposes only a small cognitive load. As familiarity improves, you will be able to process recipes in parallel, but if today’s list (including tonight’s meal of Lamb Shanks, which is relatively simple) provokes anxiety, defer the Jerusalem Artichoke Soup until tomorrow or Tuesday, or delete altogether. The advantage of making it today is that you can eat some as an appetizer tonight.
When I was single, Sunday cooking provided an opportunity to prepare mentally for the week ahead. But, following my incorporation into a family, it serves a second function.
My mother spent considerable time in the kitchen when I was young, and my siblings and I would join her to assist, and to talk about random issues. In retrospect, these issues were often important, but would not have been volunteered in response to the conventional question “How was school?”
I realized that I should provide the same service to Hudson and even Rosie. In theory, shared meals are a forum for conversation, but I find that personal matters are better discussed and solutions workshopped during the preparation phase.
Hence the kitchen and barbecue function as conceptual help desks, particularly on Sundays. Frequently, Hudson or Rosie will approach me as I work, knowing that the routine of cooking is likely to have made me even more calm and rational than I am by default, and engage in discussion. Important information is shared and solutions explored.
If I am not required for that task, I have little trouble filling the time with reflection on my own problems. A kitchen with food cooking is an excellent personal environment during the winter (equivalent to a barbecue in fine weather).
SLOW-COOKED LAMB SHANKS
COMMON RESOURCES: LAMB SHANKS
2 tbsp plain flour
2 brown onions
3 carrots
2 cloves garlic
100 ml white wine (can be replaced by extra chicken stock)
100 ml homemade chicken stock (can be replaced by extra wine)
25 g anchovies preserved in oil
RECIPE-SPECIFIC INGREDIENTS: LAMB SHANKS
Sufficient lamb shanks for 2 people (sizes vary, so seek advice from butcher or make your own estimate of how much is required by imagining half of the quantity on your own plate)
Large sprig of rosemary
2 sticks of celery
1 leek
COMMON RESOURCES: POTATO AND 60% CELERIAC MASH
140 g potatoes
210 g (peeled weight) celeriac (treated as a Common Resource – a celeriac bulb is usually 420 g or larger, but it will last a week in cling wrap in the refrigerator after cutting)
3 cloves garlic
EQUIPMENT
Enameled cast-iron pot or slow cooker
Potato masher
Pot for boiling potatoes and celeriac
Colander
Plate
Plastic bag
PROCESS
Time: 4 hours in pot or 6 hours (check instructions) in slow cooker, mostly unallocated time.
You can cook the lamb shanks in either the cast-iron pot or a specialized slow cooker. If using the latter, the instructions for it should override mine and you will probably need to start earlier.
If you have limited preparation time, you can ignore the frying steps, delete the olive oil, and just put all ingredients in the pot (after peeling, chopping, and removing from packaging, obviously), then commence the main cooking process. The result will still be excellent, but you will miss the therapeutic value of the chopping and sautéing (the procedure is similar to that for minestrone soup and the same observations apply).
Put lamb shanks in bag with flour, 1 teaspoon of salt, and 8 twists of the pepper grinder. Shake.
Put 2 tablespoons of olive oil in cast-iron pot on burner / hotplate and set temperature to maximum.
When hot, put the lamb shanks in the pot and turn as necessary until brown on all sides. If the flour begins to burn, discontinue the process immediately.
Remove lamb shanks to plate. If there is burnt residue in the pot, clean it before proceeding.
Peel onions and chop into 1 cm cubes.
Peel garlic and chop into pieces (30 seconds).
Reduce temperature to 60% of maximum and put 2 more tablespoons of olive oil in the pot.
Add the chopped onions and garlic to the pot.
Preheat the oven to 180 degrees.
In sequence, prepare each of the remaining vegetables, add to those already in the pot, and stir with wooden spoon. Timing is non-critical.
Carrots – peel and cut into discs 1 cm thick.
Leek – discard tough parts and cut into 1 cm discs. Celery – cut into 1 cm slices.
Add the anchovies (each chopped into 3 equal pieces), rosemary, wine, and chicken stock; stir to mix, then return the lamb shanks to the pot.
Put the lid on the pot, place it in the oven, and reduce the temperature to 165 degrees.
Non-essential step: after 2 hours, remove pot from oven, remove lid, turn lamb shanks over, and replace in oven with lid on.
After 3 1/2 hours the lamb should be ready to serve.
Thirty minutes before serving: remove lid from cast-iron pot (non-essential).
Peel potato(es) with peeler and cut skin from celeriac with knife. Cut both into 3 cm cubes.
Put pieces in pot; cover with cold water and 2 teaspoons of salt.
Put pot on burner / hotplate at maximum. When the water boils, lower heat to maintain simmer for 25 minutes.
Peel garlic cloves and cut finely (1 minute).
Strain vegetables in colander. Return them to the pot, add olive oil and garlic, and mash with potato masher. Serve in saucepan unless diners object.
Serve lamb shanks in cast-iron pot. Sometimes the vegetables will have become a bit fatty. The vegetables have done their primary job of transferring flavor to the meat and can be ignored, but if it is a problem, I suggest steaming a green vegetable.
This recipe is tolerant of time (more rather than less), ingredients, and quantities. You can add further seasoning (e.g. chili flakes, coriander) to the flour mixture, and any root vegetable, a can of tomatoes, and / or chili to the pot.
This is a generic casserole recipe, and the lamb shanks can be replaced with any meat suitable for slow cooking: I recommend beef cheeks (minimum of 4 hours cooking; delete the rosemary and anchovies).
The ratio of celeriac to potato can be varied according to taste and the size of the celeriac to avoid wastage (potatoes can be stored longer than celeriac and are less expensive).
ADVANCE PREPARATION: JERUSALEM ARTICHOKE SOUP
This recipe makes six small serves – two for tonight and four for Tuesday. It can easily be scaled up and the surplus frozen, if chicken-stock stocks are sufficient and you have time to peel artichokes. (If a helper is available, delegate them to do this and purchase enough for the remainder of the season.)
COMMON RESOURCES
500 ml homemade chicken stock
Butter
RECIPE-SPECIFIC INGREDIENTS
400 g Jerusalem artichokes
2 leeks
Enameled cast-iron pot
Blender / liquidizer
Colander
PROCESS
Time: 2 1/2 hours, largely unallocated time.
Peel the artichokes (a slow process, due to the shape of the artichokes; it may help to cut off the most irregular shapes and peel them separately).
Cut the artichokes into thin slices (as thin as possible while keeping the slices whole – not critical) and put in colander.
Sprinkle 3 tablespoons of salt over the artichoke slices and toss with hands to ensure most surfaces are coated.
Leave in sink or over a bowl (to catch liquid) for 1 hour.
Discard the liquid that has run off and rinse the artichoke slices to (largely) eliminate the salt.
Dry the artichoke slices with paper towel(s) or clean tea towel(s). Do not spend more than five minutes on this task: perfection is impossible and unnecessary.
Cut leeks from white end into 1 cm discs until you reach the tough part. Discard remainder.
Put olive oil, butter, and leeks in pot, and cook at 25% of maximum for 30 minutes.
Add the chicken stock. Raise temperature to maximum until stock reaches simmer, then lower to maintain simmer. Simmer for 30 minutes.
Allow soup to cool for 15 minutes, then process in blender until smooth. It will be thick – this is correct. Reheat and eat immediately, or put in refrigerator for reheating tonight and Tuesday. Freeze any quantity surplus to those requirements.
ADVANCE PREPARATION: COQ AU VIN
As indicated by the word vin, wine is a critical ingredient in coq au vin. Burgundy, specifically Chambertin, is recommended, but not by me:
1. Many people would be unable to identify the subtle differences between Chambertin and generic Burgundy or even Australian pinot noir, when presented under ideal tasting conditions.
2. I predict that nobody would be able to detect reliably the differences after the wines had been boiled for 90 minutes with chicken, bacon, shallots, garlic, flour, salt, and pepper.
3. The properties that make a wine superior for drinking are unlikely to be the properties that make it superior for cooking.
4. Chambertin is extremely expensive. If you can afford it and appreciate its qualities, you would surely not pour it into the chicken pot.
Hence, I recommend generic red wine of the minimum standard that you are prepared to drink. Obviously, you should verify this before using. It does not need to be pinot noir, and in fact heavier wines such as shiraz / syrah may give a better result1.
3 tbsp plain flour
3 cloves garlic
12 shallots
RECIPE-SPECIFIC INGREDIENTS
4 chicken Marylands (drumstick and thigh together or disassembled), skin removed by vendor, total weight 900 g
200 g smoked lardons or lean bacon (cut 1 cm thick)
300 g button mushrooms
250 ml pinot noir or other red wine
EQUIPMENT
Enameled cast-iron pot
PROCESS
Time: 3 hours, including substantial unallocated time.
Peel all shallots.
Chop bacon into 1 cm cubes.
Grind pepper over chicken – six 90-degree twists each side of each Maryland.
Peel garlic and chop into small pieces (30 seconds chopping).
0: Pour 10 ml of olive oil into pot; place on burner / hotplate at 75% of maximum temperature.
2: Add bacon to pot. 5: Stir bacon with spatula.
8: With spatula, transfer bacon to bowl and add 10 ml of oil to pot.
12: Stir shallots with spatula to expose uncooked surface to heated oil.
15: With spatula, transfer shallots to bowl; then add 10 ml of oil to pot.
17: Add mushrooms to pot.
20: Stir mushrooms with spatula to expose uncooked surface to heated oil.
23: Transfer mushrooms to bowl and add 10 ml of oil to pot.
24: Put flour on chopping board and dip in chicken to coat both sides of all pieces; add surplus flour to bowl and stir with wooden spoon.
25: Add chicken to pot. Place to maximize contact with oil.
30: Use spatula to turn all chicken pieces over (they should be brown – if not, cook them until they are).
35: Transfer chicken pieces to bowl (they should be brown on both sides – if not, cook them until they are).
37: Add wine to pot and use spatula to scrape residue from surface of pot.
38: Add contents of bowl plus garlic to pot.
40: Put lid on pot and set temperature to maintain a simmer.
41: Time for clean-up, preparing other items, or non-cooking activities.
83: Remove lid from pot and turn over all chicken pieces. Replace lid.
128: Remove pot from stovetop. Allow to cool. Set timer for 40 minutes.
168: Store in refrigerator for reheating on Tuesday.
VARIATIONS
Replace the wine with wine vinegar (in the coq au vin – not for drinking), and add a can of tomatoes instead of the mushrooms and bacon. (That vinegar can successfully replace the wine is another argument against specifying the use of Chambertin.)
Add 25 g of dried mushrooms, after soaking for 15 minutes in a jar in 125 ml of hot water. Add the liquid in place of half of the wine.
The chicken can be replaced by guinea fowl or pheasant. Despite the reputation (and higher cost) of pheasant, the results are not significantly different.
More radically, the chicken can be replaced with beef to produce boeuf bourguignon. Ask your butcher for the most suitable cuts of meat. As with coq au vin, there are numerous more complex recipes which are interesting to attempt, assuming you want to spend time and cognitive resources on research, modification of shopping lists, and adjusting your schedule, in exchange for a probably small improvement in the result.
COMMON RESOURCE MAINTENANCE: POTATO AND LEEK SOUP
The deliciousness of this soup is partly due to the unnamed ingredient – bacon, a flavor enhancer so flexible that Americans use it in bourbon and ice-cream. However, it can be deleted and the chicken stock replaced by vegetable stock or water for a healthier vegetarian1 option.
The quantity is sufficient for eight serves and is readily scaled up; hence, freeze for future Mondays and / or use for weekday lunches.
COMMON RESOURCES
4 cups chicken stock
2 cloves garlic
400 g potatoes
RECIPE-SPECIFIC INGREDIENTS
200 g bacon, cut 1 cm thick
3 medium leeks
EQUIPMENT
Enameled cast-iron pot
PROCESS
Time: 2 1/2 hours – minimal work after first 25 minutes.
Timing of this recipe is non-critical. If component preparation takes extra time (possibly due to scaling up), the frying times can be increased without adverse effect.
0: Cut bacon into 1 cm cubes.
5: Heat oil in pot on burner / hotplate at 70% of maximum temperature.
6: Add bacon to pot.
Time-share bacon cooking (stir for 5 seconds every 2 minutes) with leek and garlic preparation. Tear off tough outer leaves of leek and cut off root. Beginning at root end (whitest), cut each leek into 5–7 cm slices. Stop when leek becomes noticeably tough and discard remainder. Repeat for all leeks. Peel garlic and cut into tiny pieces (60 seconds chopping).
13: Add leeks and garlic to pot, and stir with wooden spoon. Time-share leek and bacon cooking (stir for 5 seconds every 2 minutes) with potato preparation. Peel potato(es) and cut into 1 cm cubes.
17: Add potatoes to pot. Stir with wooden spoon for 5 seconds every 2 minutes.
25: Add stock to pot and stir. Increase heat to maximum. When fluid boils, lower temperature to maintain simmer.
120: Remove soup from heat and allow to cool.
150: Divide soup into meal-sized portions (if you are considering using it for lunches, make single-person portions). Freeze all but tomorrow night’s meal, which can be stored in the refrigerator.
Potato and Leek Soup
After the preparatory work of Sunday, today’s work is trivial and could even be delegated to a competent household member.
I did not design the Standardized Meal System to minimize cooking time. I enjoy cooking and eating the results. But if you don’t enjoy cooking or need to devote the time to more important tasks (e.g. care of a household member or solving the Riemann hypothesis), the Standardized Meal System is the perfect platform for minimizing cooking time. Recipes can be selected from books which focus on speed of preparation or meals which can be made in huge quantities and frozen. Any bulk preparation should probably be outsourced, as there is a risk that an inexperienced cook working with large quantities of ingredients while distracted by the Riemann hypothesis would create a disaster.
(It would be an incredible endorsement of the Standardized Meal System if the solver of the Riemann hypothesis credited it either for providing the necessary time or, in the manner in which I use it, encouraging creative thinking during the cooking process.)
VARIATION
Serve the soup with bread: this will require an extra shopping trip (possibly by another household member) to ensure freshness. Alternatively, purchase a bread-making machine.
Jerusalem Artichoke Soup; Gougères (Cheese Puffs); Coq au Vin with Roasted Broccoli
Wine: pinot noir (Burgundy is the traditional accompaniment to both coq au vin and gougères – mentioning this will increase the intimidation factor of the meal, at least on the first occasion for each set of guests).
My recipes for guest night are for four people, based on two couples: hosts and guests. Obviously, not everyone is in a couple, but some other configurations will also lead to a total of four. I recommend this as a maximum for productive conversation. I find it difficult to reduce my own contribution to 25%1 and it is impractical to properly develop an argument with less time. In larger groups, people are reluctant to advance an unpopular position for (well-founded) fear of being overwhelmed by the majority.
Socially, it is hard to “get to know” people in large groups, due to the rapidly increasing number of binary interactions (n [n-1] / 2). A dinner “party” for eight entails 8 x 7 / 2 = 28 different pairings, and thus begins to suffer from all the problems of an actual party.
Also, the more people you invite, the more quickly you will run out of potential invitees, and the more often they will experience the same meal, and possibly become less impressed with your expertise as a chef.
In winter, it is psychologically appropriate to welcome guests with soup and / or a “warming” drink. These can be combined by adding 1 tablespoon of oloroso sherry or Verdelho Madeira to each serving of the soup, immediately prior to giving it to the guest.
The only non-trivial components of this meal are the gougères (recipe from Patricia Wells, with minor modifications) and broccoli. If under time pressure (or any form of pressure) they can be readily eliminated, and the gruyere served with other Common Resource cheese as a separate course after the chicken.
COMMON RESOURCES: GOUGÈRES
These quantities, except for the cheese, are exact (recommended tolerance 5%).
1/2 tsp salt
120 g unsalted butter
120 g flour
4 eggs
160 g gruyere cheese (parmesan, which you will have on hand for the broccoli, and conventional “cheddar” cheese produce acceptable results)
COMMON RESOURCES: RICE
350 g rice of your preferred variety (as it is guest night, consider an exotic variety)
COMMON RESOURCES: ROASTED BROCCOLI
Parmesan cheese
RECIPE-SPECIFIC INGREDIENTS: ROASTED BROCCOLI
350 g broccoli or 300 g broccolini
Rice cooker with plastic ladle
Baking dish
Sieve
Bowl
Electric mixer
Grater
Enameled cast-iron pot
Cups or small bowls for serving small quantities of soup
Sheet of baking paper or silicone baking mat
PROCESS
Time: approximately 40 minutes work over an elapsed time dictated by personal schedule (preparation) and guest requirements (serving).
Before guests arrive:
Prepare broccoli: break into individual “florets” – length approximately 8 cm – and discard the remainder of central stem (not necessary if using broccolini).
Put broccoli in baking dish with 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Grate 3 tablespoons of parmesan cheese, add to dish, and toss using hands if nobody watching, spoons otherwise.
Don’t wash the grater (yet) – it will be required for the gougères.
Prepare gougères mix:
Sift flour into bowl using sieve.
Grate cheese.
Put baking paper / mat on oven tray.
Put salt, butter, and 1 cup of water in a medium saucepan. Place on burner / hotplate on maximum heat and stir with wooden spoon until boiling. Remove from heat and add the sifted flour, rapidly, then beat with spoon until no lumps remain (30 seconds). Reheat at 60% of maximum heat for 40 seconds, while stirring. Transfer contents of medium saucepan to electric mixer bowl. Add eggs and 80% of cheese. Beat at medium speed for 30 seconds.
Use tablespoon to transfer contents of mixer bowl to the baking paper / mat in 8 equal piles with maximum spacing. Distribute remaining cheese equally on top of the piles.
Twenty minutes before anticipated arrival of guests:
1. Heat oven (conventional setting) to 220 degrees.
2. Put Jerusalem artichoke soup on burner / hotplate, ready to reheat.
3. Put coq au vin (in enameled cast-iron pot, lid on) on burner / hotplate, ready to reheat.
On arrival of guests (burst of impressive activity):
Turn on burner / hotplate to 50% of maximum to reheat Jerusalem artichoke soup.
Put oven tray and contents in oven. Set timer for 24 minutes.
Initiate cooking of rice.
When soup reaches boiling point, allow to boil for 15 seconds, then turn off burner / hotplate, and divide into cups or bowls.
Timer sounds: begin reheating coq au vin at 50% of maximum temperature.
Remove gougères from oven.
Reduce oven temperature to 180 degrees and put baking dish with broccoli in oven. Set timer for 25 minutes.
Serve gougères.
Check coq au vin every 10 minutes and stir. When it reaches boiling point (typically 20 minutes), allow to boil for 15 seconds, then reduce heat to simmer.
When timer sounds, serve coq au vin with broccoli and rice.
VARIATIONS
Sprinkle smoked paprika on top of the gougères.
Serve prosciutto or marinated peppers with the gougères.
Omit the oloroso sherry and grate fresh truffle on the soup. This variant was prompted by Gene, who arrived one evening with a single black truffle, observing that it was cheaper than the bottle of Chambertin I had requested in response to his question “Can I bring anything?” If you want to try exotic ingredients such as caviar and truffles – and Burgundy – it is vastly cheaper to do so at home and even more so if the guests are paying. We collectively rated the truffle 8.7 / 10 for aroma and 3.3 / 10 for flavor.
Lentil Stew; Chocolates
When I was a university student, living in Melbourne away from my family in Shepparton (a situation with both positive and negative features), I lived in a share(d) house. Responsibility for meals was rostered and I quickly settled on a standard solution, which was extremely cheap and acceptable to all household members, including a vegan1. It can be made entirely from Common Resources, if you use a can of tomatoes instead of the fresh tomato and capsicum.
I have continued to cook this meal. It is not as good as lobster salad with mango and avocado (refer Summer Tuesday) but not significantly inferior, and if I was close to solving the Riemann hypothesis or finding a cure for cancer, and in financial difficulty, I would be happy to eat it every night.
COMMON RESOURCES
1 brown onion
2 cloves of garlic
1 tbsp smoked sweet or hot paprika (critical ingredient)
1 bay leaf
1 small potato
1 carrot
125 g (approx. 3/4 cup) dried brown or green lentils2
1 green capsicum
1 conventional tomato or 10 cherry tomatoes
EQUIPMENT
Sieve
Enameled cast-iron pot
PROCESS
Time: 70 minutes, including 30 minutes unallocated time.
Rinse the lentils in the sieve.
Peel onion, potato, and carrot. Cut capsicum in half and remove core. Chop all vegetables into 1 cm cubes. If using cherry tomatoes, chopping is optional; if using a whole tomato, chop into 1 cm cubes.
Chop garlic into tiny pieces (60 seconds chopping).
Put pot on burner / hotplate and set temperature to 50% of maximum. Add 1 tablespoon of oil, plus vegetables, tomato(es), and garlic.
Cook for 20 minutes. Stir after 10 minutes.
Add the paprika and the bay leaf. Stir for 15 seconds. Add lentils and 2 cups of water, stir, and increase heat to maximum.
When boiling point is reached, adjust heat to maintain simmer.
After 25 minutes, check that lentils are cooked (if not, continue until they are).
Remove bay leaf from pot, then serve.
Chocolates.
This dish can be made non-vegan by adding two sausages – I recommend uncooked chorizo – which are fried, grilled, or barbecued, then sliced and added to the stew 10 minutes before serving or served on a separate plate (especially if there is a vegan in the household). Alternatively, use bacon, fried before adding the vegetables. This will change the overall flavor of the dish, but (especially in Dave’s opinion) in a positive direction.
In the absence of a vegan, you can use chicken stock instead of water. When I lived in the share(d) house, one of my housemates would add an unmeasured splash of sherry five minutes prior to serving. If you are adding fried sausages, you can deglaze the pan with sherry and add to the stew.
Poppadums; Chicken Curry
If I want an authentic Indian meal, I visit our excellent local Indian restaurant. This principle applies to most exotic (to me) and complex food. At one time, I suggested that we eat Indian cuisine every night, which would enable me to assemble the appropriate base ingredients and acquire the necessary skills, pointing out that almost 18% of the world’s population does so. Rosie was unenthusiastic.
However, commercial Indian curry pastes are remarkably palatable. I suggest you experiment with different products and with adding chopped vegetables – spinach, zucchini, broccoli, peas, pre-cooked potato – to the curry, to increase nutritional value. Or replacing the meat with vegetables altogether.
I have specified chicken (seafood is also an option) rather than red meat because of the goal of having only one red-meat meal per week. If you don’t observe that rule, or are prepared to make an exception in winter, you can use lamb, beef, pork, goat, or kangaroo.
I recommend poppadums as a starter, primarily because they are so easy and spectacular to cook.
COMMON RESOURCES
Commercial curry paste (“Madras,” “Vindaloo,” etcetera) Commercial chutney and pickles (at least a jar of each)
1 brown onion
3/4 cup rice of your preferred variety
1 can tomatoes, 400g (depending on choice of paste)
2 poppadums
350 g diced chicken (if you have to dice it yourself, 2 1/2 cm cubes)
150 g baby spinach (or adult spinach, which is now harder to find; optional)
1 medium zucchini (optional)
EQUIPMENT
Rice cooker with plastic ladle
Frying pan for poppadums
Enameled cast-iron pot
Bowl
PROCESS
Time: typically 40 minutes, including significant unallocated time.
Put rice and specified quantity of water in rice cooker and activate.
Cook poppadums according to instructions on packet – 1 per person. Serve with chutneys and pickles, and leave these on the table to eat with the main course.
If the curry recipe does not specify onion, I recommend adding it: peel an onion, chop into 1 cm cubes, heat 1 tablespoon of cooking oil in pot over 30% of maximum heat, cook onion for 5 minutes, then transfer to a bowl and put back in the pot after the meat has been browned.
Follow the instructions on the curry-paste jar.
While the initial stages of the cooking are proceeding, cut zucchini into 1 cm discs. If spinach is large, chop into 4 cm squares1.
When the liquid and / or tomatoes are added, also add the zucchini and spinach.
Continue with recipe, per jar instructions.
Serve with rice, chutneys, and pickles.
VARIATIONS
Ignore my variations specified in recipe and make exactly according to instructions on jar.
Experiment with increasing the proportion of any individual spice. These will be listed on jar.
Add uncooked peas (frozen are acceptable) to the rice cooker.
Purchase Indian sweets (interesting, delicious, zero work) and serve as dessert.
Restaurant Night or Fusilli Pizzaiola
Recommended cocktail: Old Fashioned.
Recommended wine: red, due to pasta.
If you are familiar with authentic Italian cuisine, you will recognize this meal as inauthentic. Pasta is supposed to be served with only a small quantity of sauce, in the same way that “authentic” pizza is not piled high with interesting toppings.
Considering how delicious and popular the alternatives are, I assume that these “rules” arose from the need to be economical with toppings, rather than from an objective assessment of flavor.
My rule for pizza and pasta is “if it tastes good on pizza, it is worth considering as a pasta topping, possibly after further chopping.”1 The reverse is not true.
COMMON RESOURCES
180 g fusilli pasta
1 brown onion
22 black olives (preferably marinated in oil, but brine-marinated olives will work)
90 g (9 cm of typical diameter) hot or mild salami
1 can tomatoes, 400g
3 cloves garlic
1 birds-eye or alternative preferred chili, fresh or reconstituted (optional)
Parmesan cheese
Large pot for boiling pasta
Frying pan
Grater
PROCESS
Time: 25 minutes.
Cut salami into 1 cm cubes and olives in half.
Peel onion and cut into 5 mm cubes.
Peel garlic and cut into tiny pieces (60 seconds chopping).
Heat 2 tablespoons of olive oil in frying pan at 40% of maximum heat.
Add chopped onion and garlic to pan, and fry for 5 minutes.
Add salami, olives, tomatoes, and (optionally) chili to pan. Stir and cook for 5 minutes.
Cook pasta in pot according to instructions on packet (add 1 tablespoon of salt when the water boils if not specified).
Add cooked pasta to frying pan, stir to mix, and serve.
Put parmesan on table with grater to enable diners to grate cheese over their pasta (fresh, zero wastage).
Soak 10 g of dried mushrooms in warm water for 15 minutes and add with the tomatoes.
As this is a Friday meal, it is designed to be made entirely from Common Resources. But if I was planning it in advance, I would include a chopped zucchini (1 1/2 cm cubes) and 200 g of fresh mushrooms (1 cm cubes), which I would fry in the pan for 5 minutes after the onion- and-garlic-frying step. This information is worth sharing with household members. Illustrative text from Rosie:
I’m not up to going out tonight. I’ll grab mushrooms and zucchini at the supermarket on the way home so we can have some VEGETABLES. Open that chianti.
Rosie only knew which ingredients and wine were required because of the predictability of the Standardized Meal System. (Mushrooms are fungi, not vegetables, but are nutritionally similar.)
__________
1 The use of the imperative form should not be interpreted as an instruction to follow Dave’s example. The result is, however, delicious, with the exception of the coffee if you are accustomed to black and unsweetened.
1 The Oyster Shucking Incident is described in the opening chapter of The Rosie Result.
1 This is an impression I have formed, but I have not had the time to do a double-blind trial. My sole substandard outcome was with a very light pinot noir, but it is possible there were other factors which I did not observe.
1 Healthier due to the deletion of bacon rather than the change in stock.
1 Rosie measured this in order to support her hypothesis that I made a greater contribution to conversation than others.
1 Since I had one “bad date” with a vegan, I (probably unreasonably) excluded vegans from the Wife Project. This vegan was an extremely nice person who was attempting to live an ethical life, the major challenge for all reasonable people.
2 Other lentil varieties can be used but require careful timing to avoid disintegration into dhal texture.
1 Periodic reminder: approximately.
1 I do not recommend sharing this opinion with your risotto consultant – refer Spring Wednesday.