Chapter Seven

Isthmus

 

It was almost exactly as he remembered the old club in town, and strangely enough, it was like coming home. Something had eased off his shoulders as soon as he’d spotted Malone, not only because it was good to see an old friend, but because Malone looked at him as another Dom, not like an ex-sub.

Malone adored his subs, but he treated them like boys—which was exactly how they wanted to be treated, for the most part. The way he spoke with another Dom or even acted was completely different. It was the breath of fresh air that Izzy hadn’t known he was seeking.

He’d dreaded the moment of seeing Malone again—hoping against hope that he hadn’t been wrong all that time ago when he’d realized that he never wanted to go to his knees again.

Glancing at Clint, who was still frozen, Izzy let out a chuckle, easing onto the couch next to Malone and pointing to a spot on the floor for Rowes.

He stared at his hand in shock. The move had been so automatic that he hadn’t even realized he’d done it.

Something twisted in his gut, and he opened his mouth to protest, but Rowes was already dropping smoothly between Izzy’s spread thighs and crossing his legs. The way he tilted his head back, seeking touch, looked like muscle memory. And of course, Izzy indulged him like he always did.

He caught Malone’s pointed look but refused to acknowledge it, instead focusing on the couple before him. He didn’t recognize either of them, but he certainly wasn’t going to interrupt their scene to introduce himself.

Completely restrained, the sub was twined with ropes, knots dotting along their skin in a flowing web of organized madness. He didn’t look like he could move an inch without resisting the ropes, but he didn’t look like he wanted to, either.

It would have appeared almost non-sexual if not for the plug in his ass, with strategically placed ropes keeping it settled. From the low hum, it must’ve been a vibrator as well, and from the color of his cock, it had been vibrating for quite some time.

Do I want to see Rowes like that?

Aesthetically, Rowes would look amazing in those ropes, the red satin sheen to them only accentuating his beauty. But he much preferred Rowes at his feet, the strands of his hair silky between his fingers. He wouldn’t have to restrain Rowes because he would stay still all on his own, Izzy’s words stronger than any tether.

He went to pull his hand back, thinking better of it a second later. There was no one to judge them here except themselves, and he was so fucking done with that. They were never going to figure it out if they kept hiding, either.

“What do you think, Ro?” Izzy tugged softly until Rowes tilted his head back. His pupils were blown, his face flushed and his lower lip between his teeth. “That good, huh?”

Rowes only blinked before slowly turning his attention back to the scene. “How does he do that? It’s stunning.”

Izzy’s mouth went dry at the soft words.

“A lot of practice,” said Malone, stretching his legs out. The hem of his suit rode up, exposing his ankle. “Theo and Harry have been together for six months now, but Harry is one of the best Shibari Doms out there and teaches classes every few months or so. If you’re serious about it, we could sign you up for one.”

Rowes didn’t shake his head this time, he only stared, licking his lips as Izzy peered over his shoulder. I guess that’s one thing off the limit list. Rowes had made it clear in the car that everything was a limit until they figured some stuff out.

“What would you want when you were all tied up?” asked Izzy tenderly, moving his hand from Rowes’ hair to his neck. Rowes’ pulse thumped against his fingers, and he pressed against it, trying to slow it with his thoughts alone.

“I would just want to…I don’t know—be.” Rowes let out a huff, pulling his knees to his chest. “He looks so relaxed and happy, as if he doesn’t have a care in the world.”

“He doesn’t,” said Malone. “With his Dom taking care of him, all he needs to do is exist and give in. When he reaches subspace, it’s a moment of pure exhilaration, trust and triumph for both of them.”

Subspace was something that Izzy had never experienced, probably because he wasn’t a sub. But he knew the feeling of calm when he helped Rowes—or touched him in the way he was touching him now.

Instead of pulling his hand back, Izzy leaned forward, so he could touch the base of Rowes’ neck, wrapping his fingers around him almost like a collar. He didn’t squeeze, even when every part of him begged him to.

“Maybe the toy, too,” said Rowes, completely taking Izzy off guard as he swallowed, his throat bobbing against Izzy’s fingers. “The toy looks like it would…” He trailed off.

No. Izzy applied the barest amount of pressure, reveling in the throb beneath his fingertips. Rowes wasn’t getting off without an answer. “Like it would what?”

Rowes trembled, touching Izzy’s hand with his own. “Like it would feel really good…maybe even better than the ropes.”

Malone let out a soft chuckle, shifting beside them. Izzy didn’t have to look to know that he was hard. He was in the same state, his traitorous cock threatening to steal his sanity as Rowes laid everything bare before him.

“Malone did that to me once,” said Izzy, running his nose over Rowes’ ear before breathing deep. He was the soft citrus of hotel shampoo along with a touch of Izzy’s own cologne. Perhaps he’d grabbed the wrong one in their shared bathroom, or maybe it had been deliberate, set to drive Izzy insane.

“He cuffed me to the wall with my hands behind my back, a remote-controlled toy buzzing away in my ass.” He clenched at the memory. It was still vivid to this day. “He sucked me off until I couldn’t remember my own name.”

Rowes let out a shuddering breath, his hand moving from his knee to his inner thigh as he spread his legs.

“Don’t touch yourself,” said Izzy, before he could stop himself. There was a darkness in his thoughts that had taken over, forcing his fingers just a tad tighter.

Rowes groaned, the vibration traveling up Izzy’s fingers as he retreated to his knees again, snapping his legs shut.

“What else, Ro?” asked Izzy, glancing at Malone, who was watching them with dark eyes. What am I doing? He didn’t know, and he didn’t care.

“You would… I can’t say it, Izzy, please.”

Oh fuck. Rowes was imagining him tying him up, not some faceless Dom from the club. Jerking his hand away, Izzy forced his gaze to the plain black cushion on the couch. It was made of something slippery that was probably cheaper than leather and easy to clean while having a similar aesthetic.

“Isthmus.” The sharpness in Malone’s voice dragged away his spiral that was already beginning, steadying the rapid beating of his heart. “It’s okay.”

No, it wasn’t. This had been the stupidest plan of his life that had been doomed to fail. Why had he ever thought that Unkinked would solve their problems? Their friendship had been stamped with an expiration date as soon as he’d watched that video and wondered what it would be like if Rowes was more than a friend.

“We aren’t fucking,” said Izzy, his voice almost a snarl. Rowes flinched, looking over his shoulder with wide eyes.

“I didn’t mean—” Rowes started, but Malone cut him off.

“You did nothing wrong, Rowes. Isthmus is just struggling with something, even though he knows the right answer.”

The right answer? Izzy wanted to punch Malone in the face and storm out at the same time, never looking back at this godforsaken club. But there was no way to burn the memories away.

“We had dozens of scenes in our time together, Isthmus,” said Malone, somehow still looking relaxed. “Tell me… How many times did you get hard for me? How many times did you come?”

Izzy blanched, not expecting that question in the least. He thought back, worrying his lip as he tried to call on scenes other than the most vivid ones. Had it really been dozens? It hadn’t seemed that way.

“Three times, Isthmus,” said Malone, his gaze unwavering. “Three times, you got hard for me, and only one scene where I made you come—repeatedly. Do you remember how many times I fucked you?”

Sucking in a breath, Izzy clenched his hand into a fist. That one he knew. “None. We never did that together, even when I wanted to.”

It had been one of the reasons they had broken up. Izzy had wanted something more, but Malone had refused, probably sensing that Izzy had been lying to himself about being a boy and a bottom. Malone had always been too smart for his own good, peacefully arranging their parting as friends.

Rowes seemed surprised at that one, his worry clearly starting to calm.

“Exactly,” said Malone, turning his attention back to the scene. “You were my boy for six months and submitted to me almost daily, and yet we didn’t fuck once.”

Shit. Malone had a point—a big one. Izzy had been looking at this all wrong, fearing something that never existed and making a huge fucking deal about them. Just like the videos. Well, all except one. The D/s video was the only pure one in the bunch.

“Say it, Ro. I need to know.” Izzy’s voice was so much calmer than he thought it would have been. At least it was pure and steady, even when he was ready to fall apart inside.

“We would be just like this,” said Rowes, biting his lip and wincing when he broke skin. “Me at your feet and you there, like we’re meant to be.”

“Fucking hell,” said Izzy, grinning as he wrapped his hand around Rowes’ throat again. They fit perfectly together, the contrast of Rowes’ pale neck against his tanned hand like magic. “I think I figured it out, Rowes.”

Rowes blinked slowly, his eyes shiny as he smiled. It was such a sweet, innocent smile, like there could never be anything amiss with the world. It was something no one ever got to see on set or in a scene. That was for Izzy alone.

“Yeah,” said Izzy, tracing Rowes’ pulse. It made perfect sense. “You’re going to be my submissive.”

Izzy wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen Rowes look quite so shocked.