Simon had spent the morning cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. He’d scrubbed every inch of the bathroom, washed dishes and wiped down kitchen countertops. Vacuumed floors and straightened clutter. He’d even washed a load of brand new towels so that he’d have fresh, fluffiness waiting for Jamie.
He was more than excited for her visit.
But why the heck was he so freaking nervous? He couldn’t figure it out.
They’d just spent the previous weekend together for her cousin’s wedding and that had gone great. It had gone better than great in his book. It would have been even greater if she hadn’t put a stop to their make-out session.
That’s it, right there.
That was the reason for his nerves.
It had been months since they’d first met at Hope House. Months since Jamie had whacked her abusive boyfriend over the head and ran out into the snow with no shoes or coat, in fear for her life. Months since that same abuser was subsequently killed by a speeding truck when he attempted to chase after her.
Months.
And still Simon feared it was too soon.
Jamie wasn’t ready to start something new. Not really. Friendship was all that she was willing to offer him right now. Maybe all she would ever be able to offer.
True, Jamie hadn’t said those exact words to him. And last weekend, at her cousin’s wedding, she’d taken a fair amount of pleasure in showing him off to her family, introducing him as her date, not her friend. That was a big distinction, wasn’t it?
He flopped down on the sofa, elbows on his knees and knit his hands together. He had to stop lying to himself. An annoying pattern was developing.
He’d gone and done it again.
He’d fallen hard for yet another unavailable woman.
Sure, this one wasn’t married to his boss and posed no threat to his career, but she was emotionally unavailable. Nowhere near ready to enter into a relationship, even if it was with a great guy like him. A guy who would treat her like a queen.
What the hell was his problem?
Why did he keep doing this to himself?
There had to be something wrong with him, right? Why did he continue to torture himself by fixating on women he couldn’t have? First Cassandra and now Jamie.
“You are pathetic, Fairchild.”
He knew it was true.
He was pathetic.
But he also knew there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. His heart was already in way too deep. He cared about this woman more than he had any right to. She wasn’t his. Not really. And yet, Simon knew without a doubt that his heart already belonged to her.
The doorbell rang and he nearly jumped out of his skin. He glanced at the clock. It was almost straight-up noon. He opened the door and Jamie smiled at him.
Was it just him, or did the earth tilt on its axis every time she did that?
Over video chats, her smile was infectious. But there was something about seeing it up close and in person that shook his system. His stomach actually fluttered.
Did that happen to men?
“Hey, you made it.”
“Yep. Here I am.”
He reached out and pulled her into a hug, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Did you have any trouble?”
“Nope, the GPS brought me right here.”
“Good.”
He took the stuffed carpet bag from her shoulder and the large tote she carried and ushered her inside.
“I parked in the driveway. Hope that’s okay.”
“That’s perfect. So this is it.” He swept an arm around the living room. “My humble castle. Please, please make yourself at home. Let me show you around.”
He took her on a quick tour of the place, stealing glances as he showed her everything. She was dressed casually in a pale yellow t-shirt and a pair of jeans that hugged her in all the right places. Her long hair fell loose around her shoulders and Simon fought the urge to reach out and touch it.
He ended the tour in the guest room where he deposited her bags. Then he led her back down the stairs to the living room.
If he thought he was nervous before, he had no words for what he was feeling now — sweaty palms, jittery stomach, fuzzy-headed.
Was there a name for this illness?
Jamie had been in his house for all of ten minutes, but he would swear that the air around them was electrically charged. Like it crackled with… awareness?
Yes. He was acutely aware of her — her every movement, her every gesture, her every touch. Her every breath was an event he wanted to savor and experience.
“So, I wasn’t able to swing the entire week, but I did manage to take four days off of work so that we can spend some real time together while you’re here.”
“Oh, you didn’t have to do that. I would’ve been perfectly happy to lounge around Chez Simon on my own while you go to work everyday.”
“Well, now you won’t have to. I’ve also taken the liberty of planning a couple of outings for us. Hiking tomorrow if you’re up for it.”
“Always up for a good hike.” She smiled and he was captivated.
“Excellent. And I thought I’d show you the Air Force Museum if that sounds interesting to you?”
Jamie ran a hand through her long, thick hair, flipping it from one side to the other, and he watched it fall perfectly into place.
“Is it interesting to you?”
Simon was taken aback by that question. “Well, I’ve made a career of the Air Force, so… kind of.”
Jamie laughed, and the sound of it was like a salve to his frayed nerves. He chuckled with her.
“I just meant that if it’s something that interests you, then I would love to see it.”
Her eyes bored into his, and Simon was riveted. He couldn’t look away. Was he imagining the heat he saw there?
“Okay, cool.” He managed to tear his gaze away, breaking the spell. He rubbed his hands together. “So… since it’s your first day here, though, why don’t you tell me what you’d like to do. I mean, it is your vacation.”
Jamie smiled at him and then glanced around the house. “Hmm. Well, it’s actually not my first time in the big city of Dayton, you know.”
“Coming from the Cincinnati area, I figured as much. But I was hoping the company would be the real draw, not the town itself.”
He stared at her, mesmerized by her clean, easy beauty. He wanted to reach out and touch her face, kiss her lips.
“You think I agreed to spend the week here because I wanted to see the town?”
Whoa.
Did she just say that?
Was she boldly flirting with him?
This was not the Jamie he expected to see today. He’d expected the shy, meek, I’m-still-fragile Jamie. The one he’d first met at Hope House months ago. But this was the fun, authentic, I’m-feeling-much-more-comfortable-with-you Jamie that he’d been getting to know via daily phone conversations. The one he had the great report with.
“Well, I don’t know. Why did you agree to come?”
Jamie shrugged a shoulder and her smile was bashful. “Why did you invite me?”
“Because I love talking to you. And after last weekend I wanted the chance to spend more time with you in person.”
“You mean after the kissing last weekend.”
Simon watched her eyes. Something in them seemed to be asking a silent question. He shook his head. “Actually no. This is not about the kissing. This is about something else. Something I felt when we were hanging out last weekend.”
“What do you mean? What did you feel?”
“It’s hard to explain.”
“Try.”
“All right.” He thought for a moment, trying to find the right words. He hadn’t meant for the conversation to get so serious so quickly. She just got there after all. “I felt a sense of… peace? Like a sense of sureness, or certainty.”
“I don’t understand, Simon. A certainty of what?”
“Of home. I felt a sense of home. You know that feeling you get when everything is right in the world and you’re exactly where you should be?”
Jamie stared at him with those big brown eyes of hers, so bright and so expressive. But what he saw in them at that moment was something like sadness.
“I can’t say that I do.” A sad smile crossed her lips. “My life has been an absolute train wreck these past few years, Simon. I’m afraid I can’t relate to feeling like all is right in the world. Not in a long time.”
Simon let those words sink in, and his heart ached for her. She’d been through so much crap at the hands of that jerk who had claimed to love her. Of course she couldn’t relate to what he was describing.
“I get that,” he nodded. “I really do. But for me, hanging out with you last weekend was more than just being your date for a wedding. It was…”
He paused and tried to decide how much to say, how to say it. The last thing he wanted was to scare her away.
“It was really nice. I enjoyed spending time with you, Jamie. And for the sake of complete honesty, I wanted to find out if there could be something… more to this friendship of ours.”
There.
He’d said it.
But the look in her eyes had him backing up fast.
“But I already know the answer to that. You made it clear the other day on the phone. And I meant what I told you then. If friendship is all you ever want from me, that’s okay. The rules of our pact have not changed.”
“Simon.” Jamie held up a hand, as if to stop him. Then she stared into his eyes. “You should know that I want the answer to that question just as much as you do. Is there more than friendship between us?”
Simon’s heart leapt into the air, taking flight on wings of hope.
“You want to find that out too?”
“Yes, I do. But I’m… I’m scared. We talk every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. I can tell you anything. And whenever something happens for me — good or bad — I can’t wait to get you on the phone to tell you all about it.”
“It’s been the exact same way for me, Jamie.”
“You have quickly become the best friend I’ve ever had, Simon, and I don’t want to do anything that might ruin that.”
Simon scooted to the edge of his seat and took both of her hands in his.
“Neither do I.”
They stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, and Simon wondered if she could feel the electricity flowing between them or if it was just him.
“What do you say we table all of this serious talk for now and just focus on having some fun this week. Deal?”
Jamie smiled at him. “Deal.”
“Okay. What would you like to do first?”
“Umm, I want to see some of the town and maybe have lunch?”
“Good plan. I know just the place.”
They left the house and Simon took her to the RiverScape MetroPark. One of the most scenic places in the whole city of Dayton, the urban park boasted beautifully landscaped gardens, reflecting pools, and interactive fountains. Simon took Jamie’s hand and they strolled along the bank of the Great Miami River, talking and enjoying the scenery and each other’s company.
When they tired of that, he drove to the Oregon District where they got out and did a little window shopping before going into Salar Restaurant for a decadently delicious late lunch. They feasted on baked brie with fig jelly, breakfast-stuffed empanadas, and the excited blush of new love.