“You do not have to cook for me, Jamie. Especially on your first night here. We should go out to dinner.”
Jamie ignored his protests and took his hand pulling him through the grocery store aisle toward the meat section at the back.
“You already took me to lunch, Simon. A luxurious, decadent lunch at that. The very least I can do is make you dinner. Besides, I want to cook you a traditional Filipino meal.”
Simon spread his hands wide. “Oh well. A beautiful woman wants to cook for me and won’t take no for an answer. Guess I’ll just shut up and enjoy it.”
Jamie smiled and patted his chest. “Try not to suffer too much about it, Doc.”
He laughed at her and she grinned. She filled their little basket with all the ingredients she needed to make a batch of pancit bihon guisado — the rice noodle dish that was considered Filipino comfort food at its finest.
When they got back to Simon’s place and put away the groceries, they spent a few hours watching TV, snuggling on the couch and talking.
It was something Jamie had wanted to do for a long time now. Just to spend time with Simon, in person. To hang out in his presence and soak up his light and attention.
Simon was such a special man, and Jamie knew without a doubt that he was the best man she’d ever met. Certainly the best man she’d ever been romantically involved with.
Simon was good, loving, and thoughtful. He cared about others. Sometimes Jamie wondered if she was good enough for him.
Their phone conversations had run the gamut from lots of fun and laughter, to deep and emotional soul-bearing conversations. She felt like he knew her better than anyone ever had. She felt safe with him. Not just emotionally, but physically.
That in itself was a miracle.
They were cuddling on the couch, binge-watching a show they both enjoyed when Simon’s phone rang and he paused the action.
“Hey, Sid? What’s up?”
It was his sister, Sidney Taylor, and Jamie smiled at the thought of her. If Sidney hadn’t taken notice of all the signs that she was being abused when they met at the gym last year, Jamie might very well still be trapped in that dangerous relationship with Frank.
She pushed that thought from her mind and listened to Simon’s side of the conversation.
It was clear from the way Simon always talked about Sidney that they were extremely close. He loved his sister, and Jamie liked that about him.
Her own brother, Arjo, was quite a few years older than she was — nearly ten years — and as a result they weren’t as close as she sometimes wished. Not that they didn’t get along. Arjo was her buddy. Her cheerleader, always encouraging her to believe in herself. Until Simon came into her life, Arjo had been the only one who really did that.
“Okay, will do. Tell Ike I said hey. Love you too.”
He ended the call and set the phone on the table. Jamie stared at him.
“What?”
“Why didn’t you mention to her that I was here?”
The smile that slid past his lips was one Jamie would call sheepish. Almost as though he’d been caught in a lie.
“It’s just better this way. Trust me.”
Jamie tried not to laugh. “What’s better this way?”
Simon hesitated.
Jamie opened her mouth, gaping at him in an I-can’t-believe-you kind of way. She even pointed an accusatory finger at him.
“Simon Fairchild! You have not told your sister that you and I are… that we’re…”
Simon gave her a very pointed look, no doubt waiting to hear how she completed that sentence.
“Yesss…?”
“… are whatever we are.”
“Whatever we are?” he repeated, his tone was a mixture of sarcasm and amusement. “Interesting way to put that.”
“Well you label it, then. What are we?”
“The word friends works.”
“Does it?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. You haven’t told your sister that we’re friends. Close friends.”
Simon looked guilty, and Jamie couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“No, I haven’t.”
“Does she even know that we’ve been talking since Christmas?”
“You mean since New Years Eve.”
“Hamburger, cheeseburger. Does she?” Jamie wasn’t letting him off the hook.
“No, okay? No, she doesn’t.”
“Simon. Why not? Why haven’t you told her?”
Jamie was genuinely curious. She liked Sidney, and she knew that Simon adored his sister, so it just wasn’t adding up.
“Are you ashamed of me?” Her tone was playful enough, but she was actually half serious.
Simon leveled a smoldering gaze at her, and his crazy light-brown eyes seemed to look deep into her soul. “What do you think?”
He reached out and took a strand of her hair in his fingers. It was such a simple gesture, but something about the look in his eyes made it feel incredibly intimate.
A tingle of electricity shot through Jamie’s body.
“I think you’re hiding our friendship from Sidney. Tell me why? I mean, if it wasn’t for Sid we never would’ve even met.”
“That’s true.” Simon’s voice was soft and preoccupied, and his gaze stayed on the movement of her hair through his fingers. Then he looked into her eyes again. “But you don’t know her the way I do. If she knew about our friendship or how I feel about you, she would become relentless, Jamie.”
What did he say?
How he felt about her?
What did he mean by that?
Her heartbeat kicked up a notch.
“Relentless?” She barely got the word out. It was all she could think to say. Her mind was stuck on his last comment. How did he feel about her?
“Yes. With a capital R. She would drive both of us crazy with questions and phone calls. She would meddle and interfere like you wouldn’t believe. I love my sister dearly, but I don’t need her lectures or her commentary on our relationship. Not right now while we’re still trying to figure it out ourselves.”
He stared at her, and Jamie tried to get her mouth and her brain to work together.
“Does that sound bad?” Simon asked, sounding slightly remorseful.
“Ah… no.” Jamie forced herself to get it together. “No, it’s not bad. I get it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She couldn’t get her brain to form a more coherent sentence on the matter. So instead, she chucked her thumb in the direction of the kitchen. “I’m going to go start dinner. You hungry?”
“You need some help? I’m a great chopper.”
He was so adorable.
It was the first thing she’d noticed about him back when they’d first met at Hope House in Cleveland. At the women’s shelter where Sidney worked. He walked in with those eyes and that smile, carrying a couple of loaded shopping bags full of things for the children. Things he thought they should have to take their minds off the fact that they were stuck in a women’s shelter with broken moms, hiding from abusive dads. Fun things like books and movies and video games.
His generous heart had been focused on the children at Christmastime. Children who didn’t have a whole lot to celebrate.
How could she not find a man like that adorable?
She hadn’t allowed herself to think about how handsome he was until much later, during one of their first FaceTime calls. It hadn’t taken long for her to become completely smitten. Unfortunately, it had taken longer for her to get over the trauma left behind by Frank though. Now that she was, all she wanted was for Simon to kiss her again like he had last weekend before she got scared and shut him down.
“Jamie?”
“Hmm?”
Simon chuckled, and the sound of it pulled her thoughts back to the present.
“Where’d you go just now?”
“I’m here.” Embarrassed ripples swept through her belly and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Cause you looked like you were miles away.”
“Sorry.”
“Was it a good daydream?”
He was teasing her, and Jamie tried not to give him the satisfaction. “It wasn’t a daydream. It was more of a memory.”
“Was I in it?”
The look on his face was smug, and it had Jamie wondering what expression her own face must have been wearing at that time. It must have been pretty goofy if it was giving him this much pleasure to tease her about it.
“I’m not telling you that.” She fought not to giggle and she got up and headed for the kitchen.
Simon followed after her. “Oh, I think that’s a yes. You were thinking about me.”
“I was not.”
“Yeah, you were.” His smug grin was back, and his voice was mocking. “And it was a good memory too. I could tell. Maybe a memory of that kiss last weekend?”
Jamie sighed in exasperation and began gathering ingredients from the fridge and the cupboards.
“Here. Peel and chop the carrots. One inch, julienned.”
Simon took the carrots and pulled a knife from the holder, still grinning as he got to work. Their conversation turned to other things then as they worked together to make dinner and joked with each other.
When dinner was ready, and they sat down to eat, Jamie watched him closely while he took his first bite.
“Mmm. It’s delicious.” He nodded and chewed, and Jamie smiled at him. “What’s this called again?”
“Pancit bihon guisado. Rice noodles with vegetables and pork. Sometimes you’ll see it with shrimp or sausage added too.”
Simon pointed at his plate with his fork. “Now this dish seems very Asian to me.”
Jamie nodded. “Yes.”
“But a lot of the food I had at the wedding last weekend seemed more Spanish inspired to me.”
“You have to remember the Philippines had well over 300 years of Spanish colonization before the US came in. So there’s a lot of Chinese and Spanish influence in Filipino cooking. In Filipino culture in general.”
“Okay, so let me get this straight,” Simon said, swallowing another mouthful. “Your mom is Spanish Filipino.”
“Mmm hmm.”
“And your dad was Scottish and Italian?”
“Right.”
“Do you speak any of those languages?”
Jamie laughed. “Well, English is one of the official languages of the Philippines. Does that count?”
Simon laughed with her. “It does in my book.”
“My mom speaks Filipino. And she can speak Chavacano, which is a creole language that’s spoken in the city of Zamboanga. That’s where her parents still live. I know a little Filipino, but not enough to really speak it.”
“Say something in Filipino.”
Jamie thought for a moment. “Isang bagay sa Filipino.”
Simon stared at her, narrowing his eyes. “Did you just say ‘something in Filipino?’”
“Yes, I did.”
He laughed again and Jamie loved the sound of it, so deep and rich she just wanted to sop it up with a biscuit and swallow it down.
Simon suddenly leaned in and took her hand.
“I have to tell you that I have laughed more today than I have the entire month. I’m so glad you accepted my invitation to spend your week off here.”
Jamie stared into his pretty eyes, mesmerized. He had such a masculine, rugged face, and sometimes when he was being serious he could look so stern and intimidating. But those unbelievably light colored eyes softened all of his hard edges and gave him a regal appearance. As if he were the ruler of some ancient warrior race.
Before she knew what she was doing, she’d reached out and placed her palm against his cheek, caressing his face. He leaned into it, like he was savoring her touch. That simple movement sparked an unexpected heat in her belly.
Simon inched closer and his lips met hers.
The heat in her belly grew, spreading to places she didn’t think would ever feel that kind of heat again after all she’d been through.
“Simon—”
“I know.” He pulled away, and Jamie got the feeling it wasn’t easy for him to do. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t—”
She placed her fingers over his lips to stop him from talking, and their eyes locked.
Her heart pounded in her chest.
Her blood pulsed through her veins.
She moved her fingers and her lips replaced them. Her tongue tangled with his in the most delicious kiss she could remember.
Simon took hold of her chair, pulling it to him and bringing her closer. It was a smooth execution, and Jamie smiled before he kissed her again.
Her hands developed a mind of their own, and she found herself reaching for the buttons of his shirt.
“Jamie, wait.” Simon sounded concerned and he pulled away, gently grabbing her hands.
“I know it’s madness. I know it’s out of character for me, and it’s brazen. But I don’t care, Simon.” She stared into his eyes, hoping that he could see the passion she had hidden there for him. “I want you. I knew that last weekend when we made out in your hotel room after my cousin’s wedding. But I was so scared that night.”
“Scared of what?”
“Scared of everything! I was so afraid to take this step with you.”
“Jamie— ”
“I’m still afraid. But I’m more afraid of never taking the chance. Of never having happiness.”
She was afraid of never being truly loved, but she would keep that part to herself. At least for now.
She kissed him again, and this time, Simon stopped protesting.
When she had his shirt completely unbuttoned she let her fingers skim down his tight, chiseled chest. His muscles fluttered at her touch, and her hand drifted down to the buckle of his belt.
“Jamie.” Simon’s hand covered hers, stopping her. “Not here.”
He stood and looked down at her, holding out his hand.
Jamie took it and stood. Then she followed him from the kitchen, through the house, and up to his bedroom.
He led her over to the bed and then turned to look at her. He ran his fingers through her hair and stared into her eyes.
“I want this so much.” His voice was smooth and husky all at once, and his eyes never left hers. “But only if you want it too. Do you understand?”
Unable to speak for the intensity in his eyes, Jamie only nodded. And when he kissed her again she melted into him.
Clothes fell away.
Jamie lay on the bed and watched him as he stared down at her.
“You are so beautiful.”
The words were his, but she wanted to say the same thing. His body was like a sculpture, hard and powerful and perfect. And when he sank onto the bed with her, Jamie ran a tentative hand over his broad shoulder and down his muscular arm.
Simon slid the back of his fingers down her cheek. “We can still stop, baby. We never have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
Jamie nodded and kissed his chin.
“Jamie, talk to me. I have to know this is what you want too.”
“Make love to me, Simon.”
It seemed to be all the permission he needed. Words stopped there.
His hands were everywhere, his kisses setting her skin on fire.
He loved her slowly, taking his time to make her feel worshipped and adored. It was as if he simply knew what her body needed.
What her heart needed.
What the formerly abused woman inside of her needed.
His lips and his tongue explored her flesh. Then he reached over to the bedside table and retrieved a condom from the drawer. Jamie watched as he rolled it on, her hands drifting delicately over his thighs.
He entered her slowly, gently. Moving with reverence.
His thrusts were deliberate, taking her higher and higher, and Jamie called out his name when the heat rising within her raged into a full blown blaze that consumed them both.
She held tight to him as the aftershocks rocked her body. He was still buried deep inside her and his soft breath hit her neck in rhythmic pants.
“I love you.”
Jamie’s eyes flew open.
What did he say?
He raised up and looked down into her eyes. Then he kissed her again.