Gavin sat off to the side in the second row in the large conference room where the Chief of Police, Luther Branson, was giving out commendations to a few officers. Normally, Gavin didn’t bother with these types of ceremonies. Not unless the officer being honored was one of his detectives. But today was special, because one of those receiving a mention was the love of his life — Detective Gerri Miller.
She was being honored for her exemplary work on the Special Victims Unit, and Gavin could not have been prouder of her. He sat back and watched as she soaked up the praise and shook the Chief’s hand.
When the ceremony was over, Gavin stood and made his way over to where she stood with her parents.
“Gavin! Were you here the whole time?”
Gerri sounded surprised, and he smiled and kissed her cheek. “Are you kidding me? Of course I was.”
“Hello, Lieutenant. Good to see you again.” Gerri’s mom always looked at him with the same expectant grin on her face. Like she was just waiting for him to drop down on one knee and propose to her daughter.
“Mr. and Mrs. Miller, good to see you both.” He kissed the woman’s cheek and shook hands with her dad, and it struck him — as it always did — that her father was only ten years older than Gavin was. He always felt like a pervert whenever the man looked at him.
“Making a name for herself, isn’t she?” Aaron Miller’s tone said he was about to burst with pride.
“That she is, sir.” Gavin nodded.
“Well, I wish we could all go out to celebrate,” Jackie Miller said, pouting.
“I wish so too, Mom, but I have to get back to work. Maybe we can all go out to dinner this weekend though?” Gerri glanced around at each of them. “Celebrate then.”
“Yes! Let’s make it special and go someplace nice.” Jackie said, pulling her into another hug.
“It’s a date. I’ll call you and we’ll make reservations somewhere.”
Gavin watched her say goodbye to her parents and send them on their way. When they were gone Gerri turned to him with an apologetic smile.
“Sorry about that. I know dinner with my parents is not your favorite thing.”
“I don’t dislike your parents, Gerri. I’ve got no problem spending an evening with them.”
“I know. But they make you uncomfortable.”
“They don’t make me uncomfortable. I’m just always imagining your father wrapping his hands around my throat to kill me, that’s all.”
Gerri laughed out loud. “Baby, the only one who still has a problem with the age thing is you. My parents are fine with it.”
Gavin just smiled because he’d heard it all before. And he believed it was true. No one cared but him, so he pushed it aside. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her temple. “I am so proud of you, you know?”
Gerri shrugged a shoulder like it was nothing. “I was just doing my job.”
“Don’t be so humble. You deserve this praise.”
“Thanks, babe.”
Jo Haftel, lieutenant over the Violent Crimes division, and therefore Gerri’s boss walked by them.
“She is quickly becoming the star of my SVU, Hayes.” Jo pointed at Gerri as she said the words.
“I can see that,” Gavin stated. “And I had no doubt that she would.”
“Um… I’m standing right here, guys. I can hear you.”
“We know.” Gavin gave her a look that he hoped said ‘we just don’t care.’
Jo Haftel laughed and pointed to Gerri again. “I’ll see you back upstairs, Detective.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll be right there.”
When they were alone, Gerri turned to Gavin. “You want to tell me what’s going on with you?”
Gavin met her deep brown eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Really?” She cocked her head. “You’ve been very distracted the last couple of days, Gavin. Don’t think that I haven’t noticed. Tell me what’s going on?”
Gavin took a deep breath, his gaze dropping to the floor for a second. “There is something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What is it?”
Before Gavin could even open his mouth to respond, Chief Branson approached them.
“Have you given any more thought to my offer, Lt. Hayes?”
His voice was booming, and Gavin was momentarily knocked off kilter.
“It’s difficult to think of much else, sir.”
“You have an answer for me then?” Branson stared at him.
“I thought you gave me until the end of the week, Chief.”
“So I did.” Branson nodded. Then he turned to Gerri. “Congratulations again, Detective. Keep up the good work.”
“Thank you, sir.”
When Branson was gone, Gerri looked at him again. “Okay. Does whatever you were about to tell me have anything to do with what the chief was just talking about?”
Gavin led her over to the row of chairs and they sat down. “Chief Branson offered me Tom Brewster’s position.”
Surprise lit up Gerri’s eyes. “Chief of Detectives?”
Gavin nodded. “With a full promotion to Captain.”
Gerri practically squealed. “Oh, my God. That is incredible, baby!” She took his face in her hands and kissed his lips.
Gavin smiled at her and nodded, but he didn’t say anything.
“Wait. Why aren’t you more excited? I thought moving up the ladder was your dream.”
“No. Being over homicide was my dream. Making the homicide division the best it can possibly be was my dream.”
“And you’ve achieved that goal. So maybe now it’s time to set a new one.”
A new one? That thought intrigued him. “How do you mean?”
“Baby, you could be the Chief of Detectives. You could be over the entire detective section. If you take this promotion, you would be my boss’s boss. How cool would that be?”
Gavin grinned at her. “But I don’t know that I want to be over the entire detective section.”
Gerri looked at him like she was trying to understand what strange foreign language he was suddenly speaking.
“Why not?”
“I’m just not sure it’s the right time. I mean, being Chief of Detectives would be a major boon to my career, and I’m sure I could do good in that role. But I just feel like I still have work to do in homicide.”
They were both silent for a long moment. And then Gerri took his hand and spoke again.
“I can understand feeling like your work isn’t done. But, if you turn this promotion down, Gavin, Branson may not offer it to you again in the future. Right now, that spot is vacant. Tom Brewster is gone and Chief Branson needs someone he can depend on in that position. And he’s chosen you. But if you turn him down—”
“If I turn him down, he may not offer me any promotion ever again.”
“I can’t get over how truly beautiful it is here.”
Jamie stood on a ridge and looked out over the lush vegetation of the hiking trail. They’d gotten up early that morning and had a quick breakfast. Then they showered, grabbed their gear and headed out.
He’d brought them to John Bryan St. Park, and Jamie was loving it so far.
Hiking was one of the pastimes they’d discovered they had in common during some of their long phone conversations, and Jamie was excited for the chance to hike together.
“It is beautiful. And this has become one of my favorite trails since moving here.”
“How often do you come hiking, Simon?”
“Not nearly as often as I would like, of course. I try to come at least once every couple of weeks. But I like to get out here and just put my mind on autopilot, you know?”
“Mmm. I feel that. There’s something about being out in nature and seeing how far you can go. It always helps to clear my head.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I love to hike whenever I’ve got something heavy weighing on me. I like to say the trees make good therapists.”
Jamie giggled, but she knew what he meant. “I wasn’t able to do a whole lot of hiking during the last couple of years. I missed it.”
That was a time when she really could have used the calming clarity that hiking brought, but there was no way Frank would have ever allowed her to go. Too much of a chance that she would try to get away from him. And he certainly wouldn’t have gone with her. It wasn’t his thing.
But she didn’t say any of that. She didn’t have to. She was sure Simon understood exactly what she meant.
“I’m glad hiking is something we both enjoy doing.” Simon smiled at her and reached out his hand. “It’s nice to have someone to share all this natural beauty with.”
Jamie smiled and took his hand. “I couldn’t agree more.”
They spent nearly two hours on the trail before they decided to take a break at a large rock formation. After a couple of selfies, Jamie climbed onto one of the big rocks and took a seat.
“I thought you didn’t want Sidney to know about us yet.” She tried to keep the laughter out of her voice as she watched Simon put his cellphone away.
“I don’t.”
“Then what’s with the selfies. You can’t post them to social media or she’ll see them.”
“Those are just for me. Maybe I’ll make it the background on my phone.”
She giggled at the sneaky expression on his face. She removed her backpack and pulled out her water bottle. Simon did the same and took a seat on a nearby rock.
They were both quiet while they hydrated and appreciated the view. But Jamie could feel Simon’s eyes on her, and she wondered what he was thinking about.
She had a pretty good idea.
Probably the same thing that she couldn’t stop thinking about, but wouldn’t dare bring up. The same thing that had been on her mind since her eyes opened that morning.
“Can I ask you a question?”
Simon’s exasperated tone sounded like he simply couldn’t stand it any longer. He had to say something.
Jamie’s belly fluttered.
“Of course.” She looked at him, studying his handsome face now, while she could still look at him without embarrassment or awkwardness.
“Are we ever going to talk about last night?” he asked, staring into her eyes.
Jamie’s heart was instantly in her throat.
She looked down at the rocks, searching for her courage. How was she supposed to answer that? What was she supposed to say? The memories flooded back to her. Undressing him. The sweet, gentle way he’d made love to her. She couldn’t ever remember feeling so cherished before. And those words he’d said — I love you.
Had he meant them?
He hadn’t given her a chance to respond last night, or to catch her breath. After he’d said it, he’d initiated round two.
And then three.
Her thighs squeezed together almost involuntarily just at the thought.
“We can talk about it.” Her voice was small, and she stole a quick glance up at him. “I was just too afraid to bring it up.”
Simon’s broad smile made her fluttering belly quiver.
“Why afraid?” he asked.
Jamie was reluctant to answer that. Her shoulders hunched up around her ears for a second, and Simon chuckled.
“So which part had you most afraid?” Simon’s gaze was glued to her face. “Was it the oh-God-we-had-sex part, or the oh-no-he-said-the-L-word part?”
Winded.
That’s what she felt. He mentioned the L word again, and he sounded like he’d meant to say it.
Jamie tried not to smile, but she couldn’t help it. “Kind of like… all of that. Plus the oh-shit-I’ve-let-this-guy-get-too-close part.”
“Ah.” Simon nodded. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”
They were approaching this conversation with humor, and Jamie more than appreciated that. It made it all feel less heavy somehow. But she also knew that every word they’d spoken was the truth.
They were both silent for a long moment, taking in the scenery while also taking quick, covert glances at each other. She got the feeling he was waiting on her to make the next comment. To tell him what was on her mind.
She could do this.
“Look, Simon… I don’t know if what you said last night was just the heat of the moment or not, but—”
“It wasn’t.”
He cut her off, and his light brown eyes bored into hers, their intensity making it impossible for her to look away.
“When I said I love you last night, Jamie, I meant it. And I think if you’re honest with yourself, you already knew that I was in love with you. I have been for months now. And if finally saying it out loud scares you, I’m sorry. Scaring you or making you uncomfortable is never my intention. But when you let me make love to you last night, I just couldn’t keep it hidden any longer.”
His beautiful words stole her breath.
“Simon—”
“And I know that I’ve told you repeatedly that if friendship is all you’re after here, that’s all it will ever be, and I meant that. But—”
“Simon—”
She tried again, but he was on a roll, his words gushing out like water from a busted pipe.
“Tell me that you don’t love me too. Just say those words and I’ll let it go. I’ll back off.”
Jamie’s heart pounded way too fast. Was this happening?
“You can’t, can you?” Simon continued when she said nothing. He sounded so hopeful. “You can’t say that you don’t love me.”
“Simon!” Tears spilled over onto her cheeks, and she sucked in big gulps of air. “You’re right. I can’t say that because I am in love with you too.”
Simon’s smile rivaled the sun.
“But I’m scared,” Jamie blurted out before he could respond again.
“I know that.” Simon left his perch and joined her on the big rock formation. He reached out and wiped away her tears. His voice was tender, and so full of love. “I know that you’re afraid to get close. You’re terrified that I’m going to turn into a monster the way Frank did. And I know that you’re afraid of being hurt again.”
Jamie nodded, and he scooted closer to her on the rocks.
“But Jamie, you have to know by now that I am not Frank.”
Jamie wiped her face with both hands and looked into his eyes.
“I do know that. You are nothing like Frank. You could never be cruel like him.”
“Then you know that I would never physically hurt you.” He caressed her face. “I would never lay a hand on you in anger. All I want to do is love you, Jamie.”
He leaned in and lightly kissed her lips.
“Would you think I was crazy if I said this was all happening so fast?”
Simon threw his head back and let out that deep, hearty laugh of his. Jamie smiled at the sound of it.
“We have been dancing around this attraction since last Christmas. That does not feel fast to me.”
Jamie laughed at herself. “Yeah, I know. I know it’s not fast. But if we’re going to move forward, Simon, it’s—”
“It’s going to have to be slow. Yeah, I get that. I can do slow. And I can do long distance as long as I know that we both want the same thing. For this relationship to move forward.”
Jamie nodded and smiled at him. “I do want that.”
“Yeah? You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” He slid his hand around the nape of her neck and brought her in for a long, slow kiss to seal the deal.