Chapter 7

More than Rumors

“The irony of course is that the Northerners believe we are stupid. Their issue is not slavery, it’s money! Thomas, I’m afraid war is inevitable, regardless of reason.”

“Now Matthew, you can’t be suggesting what I think you are?”

“What, that the Northerners are right? Quite honestly, it doesn’t matter what I may or may not be suggesting, for their argument changes from sunup to sundown. Religion, money, slavery, it doesn’t matter what they tell themselves, what matters is they are all uniting…against us. We know the truth—this war isn’t a war of morality—but that doesn’t matter, and we can’t remain idle any longer.”

“Matthew, come on, my friend, you and I both know that you’re not like most of us. Hell, you treat your slaves better than I treat my in-laws! But this is our way of life. If them Yankees want their niggas to run free up north, let them! But I’ll be damned if I’ll just lay down and hand my life over to them without so much as a fight!”

“Thomas, I hear you and you’re right. That, my friend, is what I’m afraid of. What happened at Fort Sumter has changed everything.” Then there was a pause…Master must have heard me. “Nady? Is that you standing by the door?”

“Um, yes Sir, I was on my way to Madam’s for my lesson.” Now I had no choice but to go into the sitting room where Master McCullen and his friend Mr. Thomas Bradly argued more for the sake of fussing than anything else.

“Thomas, have you met Nady? Nady, come on in here, dear.”

“No, I haven’t met your beloved Nady, but I have had the pleasure of hearing that angelic voice of hers from afar. My God, Matthew, she has the beauty to match. Stunning…absolutely stunning.” His eyes looked right through my clothes and stayed there a while. His breath smelt of brandy and the cigar he smoked. It was still early and already his entire body was overcome by the stench of both.

“Yes, Nady here will be singing at the Johnson affair,” Master said.

“That’s wonderful, Matthew, and quite ironic, don’t you think?”

“Trust me, it wasn’t my request. Mrs. Johnson requested Nady’s vocals for the evening. Nady, thank you dear, you can go on now, I believe Madam LaPierre is waiting for you in the back room. We must have gotten our lines crossed. She’s actually here this week, so Mr. Caleb won’t be taking you into town today.”

“Yes Sir,” I said gladly, leaving the room. Now, it wasn’t unusual for Madam to come to McCullen for our lesson every now and then. It didn’t happen often, but she liked gettin’ the chance to talk to Mama. Sometimes she’d even sit with her. It calmed Mama a bit to be able to lay eyes and ears on the woman who had just as much influence over me as she did. But when it was time for my lesson, Madam forgot ’bout anything and everyone that was around. It was just me, her and music.

But only a few minutes into it, I knew it was goin’ to be a long day. It didn’t matter how I tried, nothin’ I did pleased Madam, but this time I couldn’t blame her. Between thoughts of Mattie and Jaydith, it’s a wonder I was able to sing at all.

“No, no, no! Nady, you must concentrate! You are not singing the phrase, you are merely speaking the words. I hear no meaning, no feeling! Every song must have meaning, understand?”

“No, Madam.”

“What do you mean no? Pour quoi pas?”

“Madam, you haven’t told me what this song is ’bout yet.” You see, before each song, Madam would tell me the songs story. That way, I had somethin’ to pull from.

“Oh goodness, I thought we went over that last week. Very well then, sit. Nady, you are singing about the beauty of simplicity. Do you know the word ‘simplicity?’”

“No Ma’am.”

“Well, what do you think the word means? I’ll give you a hint, it is exactly what it sounds like.”

“Somethin’ simple?”

“Yes dear. This song is a plight to remember the simple things most often overlooked. Like a wife whose husband no longer admires her delicate neckline, nor sees wonder in the eyes of the one that used to excite him so, understand? The beauty of the simple things.”

“What’s going on in here? We’re paying you to teach Nady to sing, not to give her lessons on love. How dare you?” It was Miss Elizabeth. She was always lurkin’ around corners, just waitin’ for the chance to remind everyone she still mattered.

“Elizabeth, my apologies, I was simply trying to give Nady a feeling for the song. It’s as important as the melody itself.”

Miss Elizabeth’s eyes hated what they saw when they looked at me. She hated everythin’ that I was and everythin’ that I reminded her of. “I for one can’t believe we are still even doing this. It’s quite silly, if you ask me. I have all but begged Matthew to stop this nonsense. We’ve wasted enough money on this foolishness,” she said softly. She walked around me, not too close and not too far, but close enough for me to smell the scent of perfumed flowers that filled the air as the breeze from the opened window passed through the room. As she looked me up and down, all I could think of was Mattie. Could she smell him on me, just as I could smell the scent of flowers on her?

“Honestly, I mean, whoever heard of such madness? It’s all the same, anyway. Soon enough you’ll be breeding like the rest of them. Maybe then we’ll get some good use out of you.”

“Elizabeth, if I may, perhaps it may be wise to consider all that Nady brings to McCullen plantations. It’s because of you and your husband that Nady’s name can be found on the lips of every dignitary or man of means who comes within one hundred miles of North Carolina. Her voice is whispered over tea and in shops all over town. Why, you are the envy of every Missus around these parts.” Madam knew how to appeal to Miss Elizabeth’s pride.

Just when it seemed that Madam won that round, Miss Elizabeth spoke. “Madam LaPierre, never forget yourself. Neither my husband nor I need Nady to be known anywhere. You are here to teach her to sing. Let’s leave the simple things out of it. Am I clear?”

“Perfectly.” I could feel the heat rising from within Madam LaPierre, as she forced a smile to make an appearance. I knew she held her peace for my sake. If it weren’t for me, Madam would have been gone a long time ago; but she loved me, and felt like God Himself had called her to me, to my gift, so she endured North Carolina for me. When I was a child, Madam LaPierre would often say, “I won’t go until it’s time. Not until it’s time.” I thank God for Madam LaPierre and Master. They were the reason I knew any kind of freedom at all. Without them, I would have never been past the gates of McCullen plantation. I wouldn’t have been able to dream in song. Maybe that’s why Mama felt safe at McCullen and never wanted me to leave, because that’s all she knew. That’s all she’d ever seen.

“Nady, that’s enough singing for today. Clara needs help in the kitchen. Go on,” Miss Elizabeth ordered.

I left, but my eyes stayed locked on Madam, wondering what was ‘bout to happen. Somethin’ told me that once I left, she was going to let Miss Elizabeth have it; and oh, how I wanted her to, but prayed she didn’t. Miss Elizabeth was just itchin’ for a fight, and Madam was just the perfect person to give her a good one, but I was the one who would end up payin’ the price.

It wasn’t long after that I saw Madam LaPierre leavin’ the room where she and Miss Elizabeth had remained. Miss Elizabeth came out after, looked at me and said, “Nady! I thought I told you to help your mother in the kitchen! Go on. I don’t want to have to tell you twice!” I never knew what words were spoken between them two that day, but it wasn’t good, that I knew.

At first, dinner was quiet that night. A table full of secrets, each person tryin’ their best to hide their eyes behind their drinkin’ glass, eating slowly, waitin’ for someone to break the silence, until finally someone did. “Oh dear, you should know that I’ll be heading to Louisiana on business on the 14^th,” Master said before taking a sip of water. “It seems that things aren’t going quite as I had hoped, and well, I don’t want to get into it right now, but there are just things that need my attention.”

“Anything I need to be concerned about?” Miss Elizabeth asked.

At first, Master didn’t say anythin’. Pickin’ his words carefully, he finally said, “Nothing for you to worry over. Mattie and I will be leaving right after the Johnson affair.”

“Mattie too? Are you sure there’s nothing I need to know?” This time her eyes were fixed on him. She knew somethin’ was wrong if both Master and Mattie were leavin’…I knew it too.

“Sweetheart, it can’t be helped. I wish there were some other way, but there isn’t. Mattie, make sure you tie up all loose ends here. I’m not sure when we’ll return.”

“Yes Father.”

My eyes met Mattie’s from across the room. Fear had gotten her hands around my throat and he could see it written all over my face.

“Well, I’ve got a bit of news to share as well,” Miss Elizabeth said. “Today, I fired Madam LaPierre.”

“What? What on earth for?” Master demanded.

“Well, for one, you know how I feel. Nady’s lessons are becoming too much. And second, I caught her…” Just as she was ’bout to begin her story of lies, she looked at me and said, “Nady, that will be all. You can go now.”

“Yes Ma’am.” As I left the room, I stayed close enough to hear what was being said, without being seen.

“Oh, it was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

“What, Mother? What happened?”

“That woman was talking to Nady about things she had absolutely no business saying. She was filling her head with talk of relations between men and women. Just foolishness, things that will never concern her! It’s no wonder slaves are running to the North. Why, with ridiculous women like LaPierre, they’re bound to think they are our equals!”

“That’s what you fired her for?” Master replied.

“I swear she forgets herself, and always finds a way to outright disrespect me. I won’t have it! It’s gone on long enough. If she loves the niggas so, perhaps she should become an abolitionist and run through the woods with them!”

“Elizabeth, that’s enough!”

“Matthew, you’ve always been weak when it comes to Nady, and all of the rest of them for that matter. So much so that they’ve forgotten their place ‘round here. And to make matters worse, now they’ve got those empty-headed Northerners fighting for them! Well, I won’t have it! I may not be able to control what’s happening around us, but I won’t be disrespected in my own home!”

“No one’s disrespecting you, Elizabeth. We’re all on edge around here.” Master could tell that Miss Elizabeth wasn’t goin’ to back down. Even though he didn’t agree with her, he was goin’ to let it be…for now. “Well, for the time being, I see nothing wrong with slowing down some of Nady’s engagements, at least until we return. But it will not take place until after her Johnson engagement. We gave our word, and she will sing this coming Friday. But after that, she’ll have to wait until our return, and we’ll revisit this at that time.”

“Fine.” Finally, Miss Elizabeth had won.

“Father, can’t she just…”

“Enough, son. What’s done is done. We have more pressing matters to tend to.”

By the time I made my way down to the quarters where the party for Ester and Micah was going on, things had already started to settle down. “Child, why the long face?” Mama asked. “Nady, did you hear me? What’s wrong?” I didn’t say anythin’. “Jaydith is around here someplace lookin’ for ya’. Don’t you want to go and find him?”

“No Mama, I don’t want to find Jaydith.”

“What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothin’.”

“You dare stand yo’self-right in my face and lie. What’s wrong with you?”

“Miss Elizabeth fired Madam LaPierre! I won’t be singin’ anymore.”

“What? What you talkin’ ‘bout?”

“It’s true. I heard her tellin’ Master that she fired Madam LaPierre!”

My words silenced Mama, but from what I gathered, she wasn’t saddened. “Well, child, ain’t nothin’ I can do ‘bout that.”

“Mama, what am I gonna do now?”

“Child, ain’t nothin’ you can do. You remember what I told you when you were a little girl runnin’ round here? Can’t nobody take the gift God gave you. It don’t matter who you singin’ for, you just keep on singin’, baby. Way will come back when it’s time. Now, we may not be them fancy white folk—can’t understand watcha singin’ ‘bout half the time—but we miss you all the same.”

“This is what you always wanted. To keep me here. That’s why it don’t bother you none.”

“Oh yes, I want you here, but it’s not for my own good. Nady, times are troubled now. Strange things are happenin’ all around us. Just the other day, heard ’bout some slaves up the way, found dead, private parts cut off, hung from trees. It’s probably for the best, keep you out of harms way.”

“But I would be with Madam. I would be safe.”

She didn’t say anythin’, just looked on and watched Ester and Micah dancin’ around the fire, smiled at the other slaves who were singin’ and clappin’, not one of them seemin’ to care that my whole world had just changed. “Like I said, Nady, it may be for the best, at least for a little while.”

“I can’t…he’s got to find a way to make Miss Elizabeth change her mind.”

Just as I said that Mattie came around the corner. “Nady…Clara. Looks like ya’ll having a good evening.” He nodded his head to Mama and the others that sat around the fire. Try as he might, he couldn’t hide it; I could see the look of defeat written all over his face.

“Hello, Master Mattie. How you doing this evenin’?” Mama asked.

“Oh, I’m alright. I’ve seen better days.”

“Good day, bad days, they all come and go just the same.”

“No, Miss Clara, none of us have seen the days like the ones that lie in wait for us. No one.” He swallowed hard and turned away, almost like he was scared to speak on. “Nady, looks like things are winding down around here, might as well start making your way up to the main house. Going to need you a little early tonight.”

I nodded my head and kissed Mama on the cheek before I went inside to get ready. Before Mattie walked away, he turned and looked at Mama one last time. Everythin’ was ‘bout to change, and the look that he gave Mama was what sealed it. I saw it, and she saw it too.