“So who was Rexanne and when were you engaged to her?” Kelsey asked curiously the moment the two of them got into Brady’s pickup truck to head back to Laramie.
Brady kept his eyes on the road. “It was a couple years ago,” he divulged in a way that let Kelsey know he would appreciate it if she didn’t ask any more questions. “And she was just somebody I worked with.”
Kelsey knew she would never understand Brady unless she understood whatever it was that had made him run from his old life. She wanted to understand him. Not just as his “temporary wife,” but as his friend and his partner. She studied his handsome profile and the brooding look in his midnight-blue eyes.
“Did she cheat on you?”
For a long moment, Brady was silent. “It’s a lot more complicated than that.”
Kelsey waited, hoping he would explain. Finally, he did. “Rexanne was very pretty and very sought after. She’d had dozens of boyfriends, and even several failed engagements before I met her, and as much as I hate to admit it, I think that was even part of the attraction between us.”
“Sort of like the guys I’ve been dating,” Kelsey interrupted.
Brady nodded. “Right.” A remoteness she hadn’t heard before crept into his tone, as he continued self-effacingly, “I liked the challenge of making a woman like that mine. And up until then I’d been pretty restless. Dating a lot of women. Hoping to find The One, but finding none of them interesting enough to hold my attention long-term.”
Kelsey understood that. She had done her share of fruitless searching, too. She knew what it felt like to constantly have everything turn out wrong. It was very frustrating and disappointing, to say the least. “But Rexanne did keep your interest,” she surmised.
“Looking back, I think it was more the challenge of making her mine than anything else. She had such a reputation for being unattainable.”
Kelsey tensed, uncomfortably aware of how the two situations mirrored each other. “Rexanne played hard to get?” Kelsey guessed, aware she was beginning to feel just a tad bit jealous for the first time in her life. Usually, she didn’t care who the other women had been in her boyfriend’s life.
Brady nodded. “Oh, yeah. She made me work for that first date, and every one after that. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find that exciting at the time, ’cause I did.” He paused to shoot Kelsey a brief, honest look before returning his attention to the road. “Here, I had all these other women lined up, wanting to marry me. Whereas Rexanne wouldn’t give me the time of day.”
“But she did finally agree.”
“Yep.” Brady turned on his left signal. As soon as it was clear, he guided the pickup into the far left lane of the freeway. “And that’s when the problems started on my end,” he admitted as he accelerated to keep up with the fast-flowing traffic. “I felt so trapped. Restless. I guess deep down I knew I didn’t love her, not the way I should, not enough to make a marriage last, but I’d made this commitment to her. I didn’t think I could or should back out.”
Brady paused and shrugged his broad shoulders affably. “Anyway, the wedding plans continued full steam ahead all the way till the week of the wedding. And that was when I began to get the feeling something was wrong on her part, too.”
He sighed unhappily as he continued to recollect. “Rexanne denied it, of course. She was determined not to let her family down again, determined to prove she could remain faithfully devoted to just one man. And I know she didn’t want to hurt me. But my uneasiness persisted, and the night of the wedding rehearsal I caught this glimpse of her looking at Zeke, my best man, and him looking at her, and there was such longing there, such connection, I knew—even though neither of them had done anything about it—that she’d fallen in love with Zeke. So I confronted them, and they admitted it was true, and we called off the wedding that very evening to the great disappointment of family and friends. And Rexanne married Zeke the next day—in my stead.”
Kelsey stared at him, unable to believe he was so matter-of-fact about it all, after suffering what had to have been a major humiliation, being left at the altar that way. Her heart going out to him, she asked softly, “Is that when you sort of dropped out of sight?”
Just that quickly, the expression on Brady’s face closed down. “Let’s just say the whole experience made me seriously reevaluate my life,” he said carefully after a moment. Seeing their exit coming up, he turned on his right signal, checked to make sure it was clear, and began getting over into the far right lane. “I knew I wasn’t happy.” His lips pressed together as he steered the pickup down the exit ramp. “I’d been counting on my marriage to Rexanne, the acquisition of a wife and kids and a satisfying family life of my own, to make me happy. But in retrospect, I realized the vague sense of dissatisfaction I had was more deeply rooted than that,” he told her seriously. As they stopped at a traffic light at the bottom of the ramp, he turned to face Kelsey. “I needed to do some soul-searching of my own and figure out where I belonged, what kind of life I wanted, before I made a commitment like that to anyone else.”
Kelsey searched his eyes. “Are you happy now?”
“With ranching? Yeah.” Brady smiled, and the joy he expressed then seemed to radiate from deep inside his heart. “Happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”
When the light changed, Brady drove a quarter mile down the road and pulled into the gas station on their right. “Do you still want a wife and kids?” Kelsey asked as he parked in front of the pump and cut the motor.
“I’ve got a wife, remember?” Brady took her hand in his and lifted it to his lips. He pressed a tender kiss into her palm. He shot her an intent look that took her breath away before continuing, just as contentedly, “And I wouldn’t mind a few kids.”
Kelsey blushed and tried not to think about how those kids he wanted would likely be made. Knowing Brady, it wouldn’t be in some test tube or medical lab. She swallowed hard and tugged her hand away from his. Blushing, she grabbed her purse, got out of the truck and walked around to where the gas gauge was. “Let’s not put the cart before the horse, okay?” She slid her credit card into the slot on the pump that allowed them to pay for their purchase outside.
Brady laced his arm around her shoulders and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “We could always adopt if you don’t want to do it the old-fashioned way,” he teased.
Kelsey’s flush deepened, despite her efforts to remain cool, calm and collected. That was the problem, if she ever had children with Brady, she did want to do it the old-fashioned way. And judging from the look on his face, he knew it, too.
Unfortunately, they couldn’t do that unless, or until, they had a real marriage, and right now they were far from that. They hadn’t slept together. And they certainly hadn’t mentioned being in love with each other. Although, she was beginning to think, on her part, that was exactly what was happening….
Determined to change the subject, to something even more important to her and less comfortable for Brady this time, she said, “Were you working for this guy, Hargett, when all this happened?”
Brady’s expression shifted from good to bad, just as she had suspected it would. Clearly, this subject was not welcome. He dropped his hold on her, punched a couple of buttons on the pump. “Yes,” he said abruptly, the look he gave her, as he opened the fuel door and took off the gas cap, forbidding her to ask anything more.
Kelsey paused, wondering what the source of the tension between Brady and Hargett was.
Knowing there was only one way to find out, she ignored Brady’s warning look and asked idly, anyway, “Hargett doesn’t happen to own a savings and loan, does he?”
Brady shot her a look as if wondering where on earth she had gotten that idea. “No,” he said flatly. “He’s an independent businessman.”
An independent businessman. That could mean anything—and not necessarily good, either.
“What does he sell?” Kelsey asked, her sense that Brady was deliberately shielding her from something unpleasant or shameful stronger than ever.
Brady shot her a sharp look that seemed resentful of her nosiness. “Why does it matter?”
Because, Kelsey thought to herself, whatever is going on between you and Hargett is wedging a distance between you and me. But wary of revealing the extent of her feelings to Brady, lest she ruin their partnership because he didn’t feel anywhere near the same way about her, Kelsey fell silent.
She thought a moment more, about the rough-hewn man in the expensive suit. He loaned out money at higher than usual interest rates, to people like Maria who couldn’t otherwise get a loan for what they wanted to do, and then came around and checked on them to the point it was unnerving to them.
She knew of only one job that fit that description.
She watched as Brady replaced the nozzle on the pump and screwed the gas cap back on. “Is he a loan shark then?”
Brady burst out laughing, as if the whole idea were absurd. “I never thought of it that way,” he answered finally, still grinning at what was apparently an insider’s joke.
And to Kelsey’s frustration, that was all he would say on the subject, even after they’d taken their credit card receipt from the slot and had gotten back on the highway home.
THEY STOPPED EN ROUTE to Laramie to see a bull and some Black Angus cows Brady was interested in. With the last of the money Wade McCabe had loaned them, Brady negotiated a pretty savvy deal for both cattle and bull. All would be delivered to their ranch the following day.
“You know, you’d be a pretty good businessman,” Kelsey said, unable to help but be impressed, although she was still a little ticked off he wouldn’t tell her more about this mysterious Hargett. But that was Brady. He was always playing his cards close to his vest. She just wished his secretiveness about his past life wasn’t beginning to hurt so much. She wanted him to trust her enough to be able to tell her anything and everything. Because without that kind of intimacy, there could be no real and lasting love between them, that much she knew.
Brady drew up alongside the mailbox. The red flag was down, so that meant the postman had already come. “A rancher is a businessman, Kelse.”
Kelsey leaned out across the open truck window and got the mail out of the black metal mailbox and their afternoon newspaper out of the newspaper carrier underneath the box. “You know what I mean,” she said as she set it all on her lap then rifled through a stack of mostly bills and a few catalogs. It was all for her. Brady had his delivered to a post office box in town.
“Yeah, I do.” Brady turned his truck into their gravel lane, kicking up clouds of dust behind them. “And the range is the only place I want to be,” he said, staring straight ahead, both hands clenching the wheel. “So forget trying to make me into the next Texas billionaire.”
Kelsey caught the edge in his voice as he whipped the pickup around to a rather fancy stop, next to one of the barns. It was the first time Brady’d been really short with her in the five months they’d known each other. Which told her just how close to the bone she’d cut.
“Sorry,” she said after a moment. “I didn’t mean to get under your skin.” She hopped down from the truck and circled around the back. Together, they stood there, admiring the crisp fall weather and the blue Texas skies overhead. It was close to seventy degrees. A light breeze ruffled the turning leaves on the trees. Kelsey looked down at the scuffed toes of her boots. “I know how it is to have people wishing you were something you aren’t,” she told him. And it hurt, no two ways about it.
Brady took her elbow with one hand, and carried Dani’s repaired laptop computer in his other as he steered her toward the back stoop. “You talking about your sisters?”
Kelsey shrugged, pretending as if it didn’t matter to her in the least. “Everybody who knows me, actually,” she said as Brady unlocked the door and ushered her inside the mud room, and from there into the ranch house kitchen. “Everybody had an idea what I should be. Secretary, flight attendant, saleswoman—you name it, I’ve not only been pushed to those jobs, I’ve held them.”
Brady set the laptop on the table, then took two soft drinks out of the refrigerator. The house was a little stuffy after being closed up all day, Kelsey noted. She watched as Brady went over to open up the window above the kitchen sink.
“Twenty-four jobs in six years, isn’t it?”
Kelsey tilted her head to study him better as she leaned against the opposite counter, wary of getting overly comfortable with him. “How’d you know that?” Now that she was on the receiving end of the nosy questions, she found to her surprise she wasn’t any happier about them than he had been.
Brady’s lips tipped up ruefully at the corners. “Let’s just say I was warned not to get involved in any kind of partnership with you, by just about everyone,” he said.
Kelsey found herself bristling at the implied criticism of her past. She regarded him steadily over the rim of her soft drink can. “Why did you, then?”
“I don’t know exactly,” Brady said, shrugging as if some things weren’t meant to be looked at too closely. “It was just something I wanted to do,” he explained.
Kelsey nodded and turned her glance away. She couldn’t help but wish he had given her a more poetic reason for the two of them being together, instead of just out-and-out gut instinct and stubbornness, but at least he was honest about what he was feeling.
That counted for a lot.
She couldn’t imagine being involved with someone who wasn’t honest with her.
Because without truth, what was there?
Brady frowned as he looked at the feed store calendar hanging on the wall. “I can’t believe the week is half over,” he said, shaking his head. “Wednesday night already!”
Wednesday night!
Oh, no, Kelsey thought. Quickly, she glanced at Brady’s watch. “What time is it?” she said anxiously.
“A little after six, why?”
Because she had a date with Rafe Marshall tonight, that was why! Figuring however, that Brady might not cotton to that idea, given the way it might appear to others, she decided to spare him any worry as she took a big gulp of her drink and then tightened her fingers around the can. “No problem, really. I just have to be somewhere at seven.”
He scanned her from head to toe, taking in her red chambray shirt, jeans, hat and red cowgirl boots. “You want me to go with you?” he asked cheerfully.
Kelsey wished he could, but in this case, three really would be a crowd. “Nope,” she shot back, just as agreeably. “Just stay here, take care of the ranch, and get ready for all the horses, cattle and tack we’re having delivered tomorrow.” Thursday looked like it was going to be a good day. And once it was over, they would have everything they needed to turn this homestead from an iffy operation to a first-rate spread.
Brady stepped close enough for her to take in the tantalizing masculine fragrance of his skin and hair and the warmth of his body. Was it her imagination or did he have loving her on his mind?
“You going to be here for dinner?” he asked, running a hand lightly down her arm, eliciting delicious tingles everywhere he touched and some places he didn’t, as well.
I’d sure as shootin’ like to be, Kelsey thought, given the sexy new light in your eyes.
As she tried to figure out how to handle this very tricky situation, Kelsey made a vague, noncommittal sound in the back of her throat.
She really didn’t want to hurt Brady’s feelings by shutting him out this way, but Rafe Marshall had sworn her to secrecy, and a promise was a promise.
“Um, no.” Now that she was the one deliberately shutting him out of a part of her life, she found she couldn’t quite meet his eyes.
The heat of a self-conscious flush in her cheeks, she made a big show of sorting her mail and stacking it neatly in the letters rack beside the kitchen telephone.
“Listen, would you mind taking the computer back to Dani?” Kelsey said as she grabbed her catalogs and put them on the bookshelf where the cookbooks should have gone, if she’d had any. She turned and looked at Brady directly. “I know we were going to do that together this evening, but now I really don’t have time,” she said honestly.
“No problem,” Brady said with an affable shrug.
“Thanks.” Ignoring the mounting curiosity on Brady’s face, Kelsey rushed up the stairs to get ready for her secret date.