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Heavy spring rains washed away the snow. Soon birdsong stirred me from sleep every morning and the sweet smell of grass and flowers enveloped my sleeping mind. The days passed as swiftly as I could wish for. I was far too excited about the upcoming Festival of the Roses to want it to pass slower. The moments I shared with Destiny seemed to last an eternity and for that I was glad. When the last traces of snow finally disappeared, she and I went to the stables to ride. Almost every day we took the horses out along the grounds and found secret places to enjoy a quiet picnic. We never returned to the cottage.
The air was warm on my skin, the sun hot on my bare feet. We were miles from the castle, lost somewhere between Pinkette’s farm and the forest. Beyond the emerald peeks, the big gray mountains loomed over us. I was immersed in a story of a fairy princess who befriended a wicked creature. It was one of the stories in Destiny’s book.
“How do you know you’re drawn to your own sex?” she asked me.
“Hmm?” I looked up from the very last page in the story. She sat next to me with a board and parchment in her lap, sketching as usual. I had to roll over onto my back to look at her face, to know if she asked me out of curiosity or if she merely teased me. She concentrated on her work, her brows knitted in an unsatisfied scowl, her blue eyes twinkling in the sunlight. She wore a plain white shirt and tan breeches, her feet bare like mine. Only when we were alone did she ever let her hair out of the tail. Broken beams of sunlight streaked her ruby hair. When the wind stirred at that moment the brilliant green leaves fluttered and her hair whipped back from her face. I lay in her shadow staring up at her, the question forgotten. I stared at her mouth, large and wide, at her lips, so full and of the same color as a rose dusted in powdered sugar. I followed the curve of her neck with my eyes, imagining it was my lips on her skin, my hair tangled with hers in the wind.
“Well?”
“Er...” my cheeks warmed when her eyes found mine. How did I explain? It was her self more than her sex that called to me. “I don’t feel the same stirring you feel when I gaze on women but I appreciate the elegance in a woman’s movements, from the way she steps to the curve of her lip as she speaks, the rise of her breast as she breathes. There’s a delicate beauty there, you understand. With men... I don’t know, honestly. I’ve never paid much attention.”
“Not even the highborn?” she questioned. “They have the same delicate beauty, as you call it. Do you not find Prince Darling graceful and beautiful?” she asked.
I waved my hand as though to banish his name, “his beauty is so common it’s almost boring.” She laughed. “What I mean is, of course he would be handsome and graceful, but so are the princes in the fairy tales I read. They are all the same, all predictable. The delicate beauty exists across women in all stations, but men are different. The noblemen have never stirred my fancy.
“What about you—how did know you craved your own sex?”
She leaned against the trunk of the tree and set down her board and paper, away from me so I couldn’t sneak a peek.
“The first person I ever kissed was a girl. I had to be no older than nine years. She was my playmate and Richard would torment her because he adored her lovely blond plaits. He called her Rose because of the way her hands flushed when he teased her. I think from that moment on I ignored boys. After Richard and my father died, I couldn’t stand the thought of a male suitor. I wanted to be the suitor. The daughters of my mother’s Court were always seductive to me. I bedded the first of many in my fifteenth year.” I made a face and she laughed.
“You feel no regret to think of them that way? Didn’t you care for any of them when you took them to your bed?”
“No. In the beginning it was to see if I could,” she grinned for one quick flash of pride before her face fell as she looked at me. She sighed and leaned back into the trunk of the tree. Idly, she snatched at a blade of grass. “Now, they come to my bed only for the promise of being Queen. Can you imagine how appealing that would be?”
“Hmm,” I murmured. “Haven’t you ever been in love? Do you want to fall in love?”
“A long time ago, there was a girl I knew before I left called Oleanna.” We gazed at each other, her lips half curled with a wistful smile. My heart throbbed in my throat. “I found her fascinating and she thought me repulsive but she was my friend, my best friend. It was for her that I beseeched the Council their permission to marry a woman.”
“What happened to her?” I didn’t want to know but I thought I should ask.
“It didn’t go quite as I’d planned. She left...” Destiny took in a deep breath, her eyes became sad. I couldn’t bear to see her so forlorn and full of regret. I took a deep breath.
“Why not find her? You love her...”
“No,” she replied with a firm shake of her head. “Oleanna and I are finished. I will tell you the story one day. It’s just too beautiful out to be worn down by sadness. I’d like to finish my sketch before we head back to the castle. Why don’t you finish your book?”
She didn’t tell me of Oleanna in the days that followed and my mounting excitement over the festival pushed it out of my mind. The day of the Rose Masque, Destiny sent me to Irma’s apartments to be properly adorned and dressed for the evening. As I stepped into the satin gown, I thought only of Destiny, of her eyes on me in the color she loved on my skin. Tonight, I would become one of a hundred young Ladies weaving along the marble floor in a twirl of skirts and heeled slippers, but I wouldn’t be the abused girl Ella and Destiny, my handsome Prince. At the stroke of midnight, I would not leave behind a glass slipper, I would be Mia the attendant again, but tonight...tonight I could be myself.
The princess was still on my mind when I left Lottie’s careful hands. I paced the landing above the Great Hall, wringing my hands into knots. My curls tickled my bare shoulders as I turned one way and then another, the faint swish of the satin curled around my ankles, the gold heels of the red slippers clicked musically on the tiled floor. I folded my hands over the bodice to settle my stomach, I reached up and felt the smooth porcelain of the mask to make sure it was still there. I hadn’t pulled it down over my eyes yet. I took two deep breaths and told myself I’d have to go down the stairs eventually. I couldn’t stay up here all night. Destiny was down there, I wanted her to see me in the gown she’d chosen. A stoic calm settled over me and my eyes swept the hall, sighting on the golden light of the candles and the glowing pools along the polished tiles. It was different but the same in a way. Further down the hall, closer to the stairs, a wizened old man beckoned to me.
“What is your name, my dear? I will announce you as you descend,” he said.
“Ah—” I swallowed and took a deep breath. For once, I wanted to use the name that felt most comforting to me. For once, I wanted to be who I knew I was. “I’m Mia.” He smiled, his gray eyes twinkling kindly.
“Are you afraid? Don’t be,” he said to me, “put on your mask. The hardest part is just to come.” I smiled my thanks as I pulled the crimson mask down over my eyes. I took a steadying breath and stepped up to the stair. The man drummed the butt of his cane on the marble floor and turned to the railing.
“Presenting Lady Mia of the House of Levante.”
* * *
DESTINY HAD TO CLOSE her mouth, had to remind her lungs to take in air. The color, crimson, was gorgeous against Mia’s honey skin. Her long raven hair in lustrous curls was half-pinned to the top of her head in a bun threaded with gold vine. Though her eyes were covered by the mask, her lips, a deeper red than the gown, were free. She descended the stairs slowly, her steps light and fluid. She stood at the bottom of the stair awkwardly as she searched the crowd. She was not there a full five heartbeats before she was asked to dance by a young man dressed in scarlet velvet, his face half-covered by a white mask. Destiny watched as Mia smiled shyly at him before taking his hand. He led her to the center of the floor and as the musicians readied themselves for the next waltz, they started to dance.
Hardly in the mood to exchange pleasantries with Elizabeth, she left the thrones in search of her own partner. For a distraction, she told herself, but she knew it was so that she could keep an eye on Mia. Searching, she stopped the first girl her fingers brushed and took her into her arms. Destiny managed to convey her attention with non-committal grunts as the faceless girl chattered excitedly. She’d hardly noticed the dance had ended when the girl broke contact.
“Thank you for the dance, Your Grace,” she curtsied as Destiny nodded and strode away. There were so many red gowns that she almost had trouble keeping Mia in her sights. A flash of gold here caught her eye but wasn’t Mia, only a lady dressed in gold. As the music began anew, Destiny still hadn’t found her but needed a partner in order to continue her secret search. A pair of pale scented arms caught hers and she was twirling around the Hall once more. Disappointment, sharp as a knife, pierced her throat until at last she caught sight of Mia. She was with the same boy but another had come up to them to take his place. Curtsying, Mia allowed the new one to take over. He was a brilliant dancer, Destiny saw. His steps were light and drove Mia nimbly. Though Mia had never mentioned dancing, she was a wonder to watch.
“Your Grace?” Destiny started and looked down at the girl standing in front of her. “The dance has started.”
“I’m sorry. Let us continue.” She shook her head to clear it but her eyes found Mia’s form amongst the mass of dancers. This new partner of hers was bigger than the last, his arms well-muscled in white satin. He wore a burgundy vest that accentuated the cut of his torso and Destiny did not like how his arms encircled Mia’s waist. She didn’t like that he adjusted Mia’s hands so that they danced more closely.
“Is everything all right, Your Grace?” her partner asked.
“Everything is fine,” she answered as she craned her neck to get a better look. She couldn’t see their faces but she was soothed when Mia pulled away from her partner. The music ended and Destiny didn’t even bow to her own partner so enthralled was she by Mia. Only one dance, she told herself. Just the one and she would be content. She was going to walk right up to Mia and ask for the next dance but before she got there, three men got there first. She sighed and retreated to the thrones.
“Brianne has received an offer of proposal,” said her mother when she finally sat down. The Queen wore scarlet silk with gold lace along the bodice. She wore no mask, her hands folded casually in her lap. Destiny pulled her mask from her face.
“Oh?”
“Lord Carl is most taken with her,” her mother answered absently. Destiny thought she might be scanning the crowd for sight of her daughter’s beloved.
“He will be sorely disappointed when he learns she’s your maid,” Destiny replied irritably. There was now a line of boys and men waiting to dance with Mia. She could have ordered them away, but that wouldn’t have been fair to Mia. What man would want to dance with her after Destiny shoved them all out of the way? They would respect Destiny and leave Mia alone for the remainder of the evening.
“I’ve decided to make her a Lady. She has served me well; she should have a good husband.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Destiny snapped. Her mother looked at her with surprise.
“Why are you so sour tonight? Has it anything to do with...?” Destiny waved her hand.
“No. I’m,” she stopped and rubbed her eyes, “I’m tired of all these parties. I’d like a rest... some time away from the castle. I grow weary of all these women trying to sleep their way into your chair. It’s maddening!”
“You’ll have time to yourself during the Hunt. Can you wait until then to get away?” Destiny sighed, she’d forgotten about that.
“I suppose—I would much rather spend some time at the manor by the sea. I could use the quiet to finish my latest paintings...” And Mia would be there, she thought.
“After the Hunt then.” The Queen said, “why don’t you get out of here? One royal is enough for a Ball.”
“I think I will. Good night, mother.” Destiny kissed her mother’s cheek and stepped down from the dais. She bowed respectfully and quickly departed, not wanting to see the crowd of men standing around Mia, two of whom had kissed her hands while another whispered in her ear.