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We ate a small meal of bread, dried meat, and fruit in the big luxurious bed. She told me stories of the games she and Richard would play when they came here, hiding from the King and Queen in all the nooks and small places adults couldn’t get into; playing pirates in the small boat by the beach with their father. I interlaced my fingers with hers and listened with a smile on my face as she told me stories Queen Suzette had told her, of how the pair of them demanded to swim naked. I giggled as I imagined the Queen chasing after two naked chubby children down the beach.
“I wish he could have been here,” she said to me as she held me. “You would have liked him and he you. Being with you would have been easier if he was here to be King. We wouldn’t have to hide.
“Tell me what you’re thinking?” she whispered as she kissed my forehead. I smiled as I kissed her collarbone.
“I keep imagining Elizabeth bursting through the door pointing at us with your mother on her heels.”
“I’ll lock all the doors,” she laughed but her arms tightened around me. I could feel the tension she so easily brushed away.
“What would your mother do if she knew of us?” I whispered.
“I don’t know,” Destiny replied after a time.
“But your birthday is soon and the Council comes only a short time after... You have to announce your bride—” She put her fingers over my lips.
“And I will,” she interrupted. I frowned. “I’ve found a potential bride. If she accepts my offer–and I do mean if–I will announce our engagement to the Council. I haven’t asked her yet, she may very well refuse.”
Though I was expecting a wedding in her future, I could never get used to the sharp stabs of pain in my chest every time she mentioned it. My love in the arms of another, my Destiny married to another.
“I see,” my eyes were fixed on the buttons of her shirt. She lifted my chin and waited for my eyes to find hers.
“Until we return to the castle, let us pretend all our worries and fears don’t exist. I promise you not to think of them or voice them. Will you give me the same promise?” I sighed and slipped my arm around her waist.
“That is an easy promise to make,” I kissed her neck, “I don’t want to talk about it.” I kissed her softly and traced the line of her jaw with my thumb. “I want you.” I deepened the kiss and her hands gripped my waist. Before she could roll over to mount me, I climbed atop her and pinned her arms above her head. She scowled up at me and I smiled down at her triumphantly. I felt her muscles tensing, readying to buck me off and I rolled my hips, the mound of my sex ground against hers. Her eyes widened and she moaned. I warmed all over, my mouth watered. I lowered my mouth to hers and rolled my hips again. She sucked in a breath, her nails dug into my skin. I nibbled her ear lobe and kissed her neck. “I want to taste you.”
“Mia,” she whispered. It was a warning but not a very strong one.
“Please?” I purred in her ear. She breathed through her nose, her teeth clenched and seizing on her hesitation I rolled my hips over hers again. Her limbs tightened and she moaned. I bite her neck gently and kissed her ear. “Please, dearest?” I kissed her jaw and her collarbone. I kissed the hollow of her throat as my fingers undid the buttons on her shirt. I traced circles around her nipples as she panted. Tentatively, I kissed her left nipple and took it into my mouth. Remembering how she’d nibbled mine, I gently bit and licked it until it hardened under my tongue. Her chest and neck were flushed and I moved to her right breast and nibbled it. As I kissed down the length of her torso, she inhaled sharply, trembling
“Mia,” she exhaled. My breath must have tickled her belly button. I kissed it, nibbling the firm muscle directly beneath it. She shuddered and I slid further down the length of her until her legs parted around me. She stared down at me and I up at her, searching for the trust I knew I’d find in her eyes. She answered my silent question with a relenting sigh. I smiled and laid my hands against her thighs, spreading them further. The forest atop her mound was a lighter red than her hair and curlier than the hair atop my head, but as fine as silk. Even here she smelled of vanilla. I peered at the glistening folds, a hunger I’d never experienced before driving me. She pushed her hips forward and with my fingers I spread her, amazed by the beauty of her sex. I sighed in pleasure and leaned forward to taste her. One lick, slow enough that I could savor the taste. Tangy spices danced on my tongue. I moaned and licked again. My mouth was too small to fully cover her vagina as hers had closed over mine but it didn’t deter me. I worked my tongue over her clitoris, flicking and suckling until her moans replaced the melody of the waves. I loved how she responded to me, how she sang with the pleasure I gave her. My hips danced to the tune of the music and I felt a pressure building in her body. I replaced my tongue with my fingers and slid up the length of her. I kissed her deeply, moaning as she moaned into my mouth. My knee held her legs a part as my fingers pushed deeper into her. Faster and faster I drove my fingers into her slick sex until I felt her inner muscles clench around my fingers. I ground my hand against her mound, pressing against the little knot as my fingers slid in and out of her. She sucked in a breath, her body went as still as stone and then she was shuddering beneath me and my hand was soaked in her climax.
I wanted to hear her release but she’d kept that to herself. Before she could relax, I positioned myself between her legs so that our wet sexes touched. I hooked my arm around her thigh and rolled my hips against her. She tossed back her head and moaned in surprise. I must have felt as hot and wet as she felt against me. I leaned back on my hand and whipped my hips back and forth, grinding against her. In answer, her pelvis slammed into mine but her hold on my other wrist held me steady. As we ground together, our legs wrapped around each other, her hand clenched around my waist and mine on hers, I knew I would never be as close to anyone ever again. We found a measured rhythm and matched each other thrust for thrust. As my head fell back and my body tightened, her mouth opened around a scream. Only then did I realize her release had also been my release.
“I love you,” I whispered against her chest as I collapsed in ecstasy against her.
“I love you, Mia,” she answered. She kissed my forehead and rolled to cover us with the twisted blankets.
“Forever?” I muttered sleepily.
She chuckled. “And always.”
* * *
HER ARMS WERE AROUND me when I finally woke. I knew the smile was still on my lips, for my dreams had been a perfect mirror of the night before. “Are you awake?” she murmured, her voice a deep rumble in her chest. I kissed her breast in answer and tightened my arms around her. She chuckled and ran her hand down my spine. “Could you open your eyes, my love? I have something for you.”
“Another present?” I grumbled. “No more presents, Destiny. I know what you can give me instead.” She rolled me over onto my back and planted herself between my legs. I squeezed my eyes closed and shrieked as she tickled me.
“Will you open your eyes?” she called over my laughter.
“No! Dash the present,” I hollered. “I will not give in to this torture!”
“Torture, hm?” she stopped tickling me and kissed me. I moaned against her lips and slapped my hands to her neck. Grunting against my mouth, she twisted until she captured both my wrists in one hand. With the other she teased my nipple, squeezing and pulling until I gasped. My eyes flew open and I glared up at her. She laughed and kissed my nose before rolling off of me.
We lay panting with the windows open to the balmy morning air and the melody of the crashing waves. I thought the roar would keep me awake all night but it was surprisingly soothing. I giggled as her stomach grumbled.
“You woke me to cook for you?” I laughed gaily. “Don’t I deserve breakfast in bed? I thought we did very well last night.” I grinned as her face colored.
“Not just yet,” she combed her hair back from her face. “I do have a present for you.”
“I thought you had forgotten about that,” I grumbled while she chuckled.
“Nay,” she answered. “Surely, you didn’t think I would stop spoiling you after I had you in my bed.”
“It never crossed my mind,” I huffed.
“Before I give you this gift,” she sat up, propped up against the head of the bed. “I wish to tell you of Oleanna.” I had to swallow before I spoke.
“You don’t have to,” I whispered as my heart pounded.
“I do,” she replied just as quietly. “Will you listen to it?”
“Yes.”
“I’d always thought I would marry a man to give my people an heir, not that I would sleep with him, but a mistress would bear a child and thus they would be pleased.” She continued wistfully, “but the year Oleanna returned to Lesia, that idea became impossible. She was my friend and I didn’t want to live a lie. If I could not have love, then I would share my kingdom with a friend.”
“You didn’t love her?” I asked surprised.
“Not at first and never in the way I love you,” she explained. “I didn’t think I would ever fall in love, Mia. I was thinking of my own happiness. As I said, we were good friends and Oleanna didn’t question my taste for my own sex. She accepted me as I was and I both valued that and loved her for it, but I was not in love with her. I asked if she would be Queen to my Sovereign and she accepted. I promised not to begrudge her bed fellows but she surprised me, she offered to try. My mother was happy for me but she feared what the Council would say. She decided it would be best to keep the engagement a secret.
“Darling came to the castle to spend the summer and he learned of Oleanna. He knew I would never be allowed to marry her because together she and I could not produce a child. He made me an offer. He told me that if Oleanna and I agreed, he would sire the child. With a pact such as that, he said, they would have little objection to my request.”
“He didn’t!” I shook my head in disgust, “how could he make such an offer and think you would agree to that? That she would?”
“He is not entirely honorable, Darling. Never had the thought occurred to me and I was as disgusted by it then as you are now. We quarreled and he returned to Keit. I didn’t know he secretly desired Oleanna. He had shown no interest in her before he learned of my plan to wed her.
“On my birthday, there was a party and Darling returned for the festivities. Oleanna, my mother, and I devised a plan to get the highborn accustomed to seeing us together as a couple before we formally announced our engagement. I knew the night had gone too perfectly, I was anxious but I couldn’t understand why until Darling and his mother, Saphne, appeared. She gazed on me with loathing as she often does but when her eyes found Oleanna, the smile that curved her lips filled me with dread. I had no choice but to introduce them and Darling, seizing his opportunity, mentioned his plans again while Oleanna, rapt with attention, hung on his every word. He made it seem as though we had discussed the notion at length beforehand and Saphne fed the lies. He told me to give it thought... I was scared. I thought she would be disgusted or angry but she wasn’t, she didn’t mention it and I was content to never speak of it again.
“The following week, just as the Council members traveled to Lesia, I received a letter from Oleanna. In the letter was the ring I had given her. She told me Darling had won the bet and that she hoped I would never find my heart broken nor suffer as much humiliation as I had caused her. I never saw her again.”
For a long time, the only sounds were the waves and my pounding heartbeat. Tears prickled my eyes but I wouldn’t let them fall. I felt rotten and disgusted with myself. I was just as bad as Oleanna, just as evil as Darling for coming into her life. There was no place for me in her world, I should have never tried to fit into it. Though our love was the very essence of a fairy tale, ours would have no happy ending. I sat up, unable to stop the rise of bile into my throat. I should have never gone into the garden that day. I should have never agreed to be her attendant.
“I didn’t tell you to upset you,” her voice was so gentle behind me that tears quickly blurred my vision, “I’m sorry if I did.”
“No,” I told her, “I’m sorry. I’ll do worse than she, I will break your heart.”
“What do you mean?” I turned to look at her as I hugged my knees to my chest.
“I love you but I can’t stay with you,” I whispered.
“You can,” she answered. A sob hitched in my throat as I shook my head.
“I can’t and we both know it,” I replied. “If not Darling then some other obstacle will get in the way...” First, like some epiphany I’d realized we were doomed and then I remembered the promise we’d made to each other. I buried my face in the crook of my arms and bit my bottom lip to keep from wailing. “I’m sorry!”
“For what?” she asked, clearly offended.
“I broke my promise,” I sniffed. Even though I couldn’t see her face, I knew she was smiling.
“So did I,” she replied. “I put those thoughts in your head.”
“But I’m glad you told me,” I protested, “at least I know now your heart will heal.”
“No, Mia that’s not why I told you.”
I turned to look at her as she ran her fingers back through her hair. She seemed to struggle for words and ended up laughing bitterly. “There is no one else for me, I understand it now. I was made for you and you for me.” I opened my mouth to protest but she placed her fingers on my lips. “I told you about Oleanna because I wanted you to understand why I’ll fight for us to be together. I promise you nothing will stop us.” I unfolded myself and hugged her as hard as I could. I wanted to believe her and perhaps I could have if the weight on her shoulders hadn’t been so monstrous.
“I love you, Destiny,” I breathed into her hair.
“And I love you,” she answered. “Mia...” She trailed her fingers down my back and gently pulled away. The feather-soft brush of her fingers against the length of my arm made me shiver. She interlaced our fingers and suddenly I felt an icy touch around the third finger of my left hand. The waves outside the manor suddenly ceased their roaring. I stared down at the ring. I could not move and I think she waited for me to speak but I couldn’t and she said, “marry me.” And still I could say nothing.
The breath trapped in my chest made my head spin until I had to squeeze my eyes shut.
“I will speak with the Council,” she proclaimed. “I will make them listen to me. This is my choice to make and I choose you.”
I couldn’t speak. I was too stunned, too surprised. I’d wanted this before I’d fully understood what was at stake and I’d never thought she would ask me to be her wife, her Queen. She didn’t know what she truly asked of me.
“I want to be with you,” Destiny went on, “I don’t care if I have to battle all of Caunica; if I have to sacrifice my title and my crown for you, I will. Say you’ll marry me.”
“Destiny,” I gasped as I clawed my way free of the paralysis, “you can’t give it all up for me. You can’t.” I turned so that we faced each other.
“I will if I have to. I will because I want to.” I didn’t doubt her words. Her eyes burned hot enough to destroy any shred of doubt in her resolve.
“Please, I beg you to reconsider. If it comes to that Darling will be King. What will happen to your mother, to your people? Would you abandon them to spend the rest of your life with me?”
“In a heartbeat,” she answered firmly. I shook my head, panic gripping my throat. I couldn’t breathe.
“Destiny,” I said firmly, “you don’t have to prove your love to me this way.” Her eyes widened in indignation but I held up a hand to silence her. I took a deep breath and stared her directly in the eyes. “He will hunt us down. Your cousin is... is evil and he has no right to be King. If the Council does not permit our union, then you must take a wife of noble birth and claim your throne. Promise me you will do that. Promise me you won’t give up your crown for me.”
“I will do no such thing,” she glowered, “if you don’t want to marry me, refuse.” Her words stung me.
“I want to marry you, unquestionably. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. How can you say that?”
“How can you not answer me?”
“Because you’re not asking me to marry you,” I spit through my clenched teeth. “You are asking me to stand aside and let you run away from your responsibility to your people. You ask me to stand aside and let Darling claim your father’s throne so that we can grow old together in the Northern Empire. Not a town in Caunica will harbor you if you run away on my account. Do you know what he will say to them, to your people? He will tell them I am a savage whore and that you threw their fate to the wind to chase my skirts. He will call you weak and unfit to rule Caunica and they will believe him because for all they know, he is right.”
“Enough!” she growled as she twisted away from me.
“And they will eagerly give you up, give both of us up to him so that he can torture you and have me. Is that what you want? That is what you ask of me by giving me this ring,” I told her. “I want no part of that future, Destiny. I would rather be dead than have Darling as my master. I refuse to live my life in fear of him with your corpse at my feet.” I slid the ring from my finger and held it out for her. “Choose a worthier bride, Destiny. Please.”
“I can’t ask you to be my mistress,” she murmured without looking at me. “I can’t ask you to stand in the shadows while I take another woman as my wife.”
“And I can’t ask you to abandon your people.” She rolled over with a heavy sigh. “You know I’m right.”
“You won’t concede?” she asked me. I shook my head. “What of a compromise?”
“Very well,” I said. “If the Council does not approve our marriage, you will take a wife of noble birth.” She shook her head.
“If the Council does not approve our marriage, then I will abstain from taking a wife.”
I frowned. “That doesn’t meet their requirements.”
“Compromise, my love,” she reminded me. I tried a different approach.
“And if they don’t approve of that, what then?”
“They will approve. A halfling wife or no wife, whichever they think is the lesser of two evils. They don’t want Darling to rule any more than you or I.”
“I’ll give you that compromise,” I conceded, “but you must make two promises to me.” She cocked her eyebrow.
“If I can keep them, I will do so,” she answered carefully.
“The first, promise you will not allow Darling to become King of Caunica because of me.”
“But—”
I shook my head. “If the Council does not approve our union and if they do not approve of you abstaining from marriage, then you will do whatever it takes to assure Darling does not ascend the throne. I won’t accept this ring if you won’t promise me that.” She stared at me hard but I didn’t let my gaze waver and neither did hers.
“All right, I promise I will not let Darling become King of Caunica.”
“Thank you,” I kissed her cheek.
“And the second promise?” I had to smile though I felt quite sad for asking her to make this pledge to me. She had to for she had not asked me to promise that I would stay by her side if the Council disapproved of her choices. If they denied her and threatened her with the possibility of Darling’s rule, I would leave Lesia. My heart ached at the thought of leaving her but to save her life, to protect it, I would do anything.
“Promise me you will never doubt my love for you.” She opened her mouth and I pressed my fingers to still her lips. “I love you more than everything and I will do whatever I must for you. Promise me that no matter what, you will never doubt my love for you.” She moved my fingers from her lips and stared deep into my eyes. I felt her hardened gaze probing my soul.
“What are you planning, Mia?”
“Nothing, dearest,” I answered honestly. “For my own sanity, please promise me that.” A ripple of fear shivered in her eyes. I held her gaze until she spoke.
“I promise to never doubt your love for me,” she kissed my hand and pulled me back into her arms. “I should be pledging myself to you and sacrificing my heart for your life, not the other way around.”
“Ever the gentleman,” I smiled into her chest, pleased she had agreed to my requests. “Will you tell your mother of our engagement?”
“Aye. I’ll tell her on my birthday, she’ll be less angry with me then.”
“But,” I sighed, “if you told her now, she might be able to...”
“Help?” Destiny chuckled. “My sweet, the Queen will be too angry to think of anything but and I’d rather not give her time to fashion a way to separate us.” I snuggled deeper into her body, burying my face against her skin. Her birthday was a little over a month away, waiting until then seemed silly but I wouldn’t press her further, after all she did know her mother better.
“I hate this,” I murmured, “why does it have to be this way?”
“It’s only for a short while longer,” Destiny soothed. “Let us hope we never have to live up to these promises,” she whispered in my ear. I kissed her skin and let sleep take me.