Like he had done a hundred times in the last three months, Emmett smacked his keyboard in frustration. This story was not cooperating, no matter what he did. There was still something missing. He thought the problem was that he couldn’t connect to his character, but Valek’s emotions weren’t the problem anymore.
Valek seemed to just be surviving, reacting to his circumstances, instead of taking action and driving the story. Maybe that was the problem. He scrolled up and reread the previous chapter. Emmett erased the internal narrative of his character, a few paragraphs bemoaning his situation and wondering what to do.
Valek had to decide to change the course he was on. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake Emmett had. The excuses he’d made about why he couldn’t tell Lavender were just that, excuses. Maybe things would have been different if he’d been honest from the beginning.
Pushing thoughts of his own mistakes away, Emmett focused on correcting the mistakes of his character instead. The delete button was impossible to find in real life. With determination, Emmett finished rewriting the scene, then went back another chapter and made similar changes.
A few hours later, Emmett leaned back from his keyboard, stretching the tight muscles in his back. The story had taken a drastic turn in this revision, but it was so much better. Finally, this installment in the Arkyndien series was turning into something he could be proud of.
But Emmett couldn’t feel the pride and excitement he was used to. The satisfaction of a story coming together was absent. He stood up and walked to the kitchen, retrieving a Mountain Dew from the refrigerator.
He knew until he sorted things out with Lavender, life wouldn’t be the same. He slipped his cell phone from his pocket, hoping to see a text message from her.
Then he stepped back to his computer, opening the chat application he’d been avoiding. Maybe she had sent a message. But when he clicked on her name, nothing showed except their previous conversation, before she knew he was WillWriteForTacos.
Emmett pulled open his manuscript again. If he were one of his characters, what would he have them do? Then he shook his head at his own stupidity. This wasn’t a movie. In real life, some stories didn’t have happy endings. He should know that. There was no heroic battle to win to save the world and the girl.
With a sigh, Emmett sat back down and tried to lose himself in the words again. He could give Valek a happy ending, even if he couldn’t give himself one.
* * *
Trisha Parks’ number flashed on her phone and she answered with her typical business greeting. “This is Bloom Social Marketing, Lavender speaking.” Trisha probably wanted to follow up now that Lavender had finished her month-long consulting gig with Emmett.
“Hey, Lavender, Trisha Parks. How are you?”
“I’m doing well, Trisha. Wrapped up with Emmett the other day, I think he is all set to carry on without me.” The pang of sadness hit her as she spoke the words. Of course, Emmett would move on without her, and not just with social media. “How about you?”
“Good, good. The reason I was calling wasn’t actually about Emmett, though I’m glad to hear he’s all set. I was even more relieved to hear he finished his edits. I was calling to talk about you.”
“About me?” Lavender asked.
“I understand you have more God-focused content looking for a place to be shared.”
“Oh. Well, I published the one blog post. But I don’t really know if I’ll keep—”
“Emmett mentioned devotionals?”
Lavender leaned back in her chair and looked up at the ceiling. “Well, yeah. I’ve been sort of writing them for a long time. But they never really fit my blog.”
“Until now. Lavender, you reached millions of people with your blog post. You can continue sharing that kind of content, mixed in with your usual Lavender and Lace stuff, and you will be a role model for young Christian women everywhere. I’ve already got people interested in publishing a devotional book by the successful businesswoman and blogger behind Lavender and Lace.”
“Really?”
“Yep. I think you really struck a chord. There was an authenticity in your post that really spoke to people. And if your devotionals have any of the same power, you could really encourage people.”
“Wow. This is... unexpected.”
“I’m sure it is, Lavender. Tell you what, I’ll send over some documents for you to look at. Obviously, I’d love to represent you as your agent, but I want you to be on board as well. Pray about it, take a look, and get back to me next week sometime. Sound good?”
“Uh, yeah. That sounds great.”
“I’ll talk to you soon. Take care. Oh, and tell Emmett I said hello. You two must have really hit it off. I’ve never heard him talk that much about anyone.”
Trisha hung up, leaving a stunned Lavender behind. Twirling around in her desk chair, Lavender tossed her phone on the bed and gave a loud squeal of celebration.
Moments later, her dad came through the door with a concerned look on his face. “W-What’s going on, L-Lovey?”
“Mom, come in here!”
Her mom came from her office next door, and Lavender told them about Trisha’s offer and the possibility of a book of devotionals.
Her mother was the first to embrace her. “Wow, Lavender. That’s amazing.”
When her parents left, Lavender reached for her phone. In three seconds, her thumb hovered over Emmett’s contact before she even realized what she was doing. She couldn’t call him. She glanced at her computer; the desire to message WillWriteForTacos was just as strong. He had always been so encouraging of her writing.
He had told her more than once that she should pursue an agent, but Lavender had never done it. Had Emmett really said something to Trisha? If this was a ploy to get back in her good graces, it wouldn’t work.
Eager to revisit the devotional blogs she’d written, considering a new destination for them in a book, she pulled up her files. She opened one, but when she tried to scroll, the computer froze. The words on the screen stared back at her. It was a blog she’d written after Poppy had secretly gotten married. Lavender had struggled to forgive her sister, and working through it had led to this post. Now her own words mocked her. “Forgiveness isn’t about the person you are forgiving. A bitterness takes root inside you, ruining the soil for all the other fruit that needs to grow.”
“Very nice, God. And not subtle at all. I get it.” She needed to forgive Emmett. She couldn’t hold on to the anger forever, or she would miss out on the joy and blessings. Like the manuscript in front of her. She should be more excited about the future of her words, more prayerful for the hearts of the women who would eventually read them. But she was too caught up in her own hurt to move past it.
Lavender grabbed her Bible and her journal and began to pour it out. Giving the anger over to God, she asked for help to forgive Emmett. And once she’d done that, she asked for help with the loneliness. She missed Emmett, and if God had a plan that helped her move on from him, or even brought them back together, she wanted to be open to that.
Could she be open to being with Emmett again? They were never really together to begin with. Was she mourning what could have been? Or what was?
Maybe both.
There in her bedroom, Lavender poured her frustration onto the pages. Old school. Paper and pen, no keyboard, no worries about grammar or font. No thoughts about how her audience would respond. Just her and God and a desperate plea for strength to forgive and move on. A request for strength to be bold with the words she’d resisted sharing for so long. If God wanted her to share them, then she would. But she couldn’t until she had forgiven Emmett. That was the problem, because she still hurt so badly.
She needed to talk to him. Part of her was itching to leave the farm and track him down. The other wanted to change churches, and preferably move across the country, so there was no chance of seeing him again.