11

Ben hadn’t been so nervous since his first arena show. He sat in his truck, Audrey’s gift propped on the seat beside him, sweat trickling down his back in a single, hot line.

Today he became a father.

When exactly should they tell her? Before he gave her the gift—special ordered from Nashville? Or maybe after the party, when it could be just them, a family.

Family. The word swept through him.

He hadn’t realized the enormity of his longing until this moment.

Ben had never been to the Fairings’ new house before last week, but he couldn’t help being impressed with the estate. A few other hybrids and SUVs parked in the circle driveway, and he’d spotted a parent dropping off a carload of kids as he sat muscling up courage.

He felt like he had the night he’d proposed. Even if he knew Kacey would say yes, so much of their future hinged on her answer. His heart had been in his throat as he’d driven her out to the old river bridge, to where he’d arranged candles, a blanket, a moment under the stars.

He’d hoped, by redeeming the mistake made there months ago, he might also erase the guilt that roamed behind his proposal.

Now, he had an even bigger redemption looming.

But he could hardly sit here all night, just hoping it would happen. He got out, pulled on his old brown Stetson, and reached for the gift.

The sun hung low, slipping just behind the mountains, twilight turning the sky purple and bruised. Laughter, music, and chatter lifting from the backyard suggested the party’s location, and he steeled himself as he walked around the house.

“It’s just a get-together, some ice cream sundaes, a movie outside, a few games.”

Kacey’s description of the event matched nothing of what spread out on the back lawn. Sofas, whether rented or hauled out from the house, lined up before a giant wooden wall draped with a long white sheet. Bowls of popcorn sat on wooden spools, arranged like cocktail tables in the lush grass. From the speakers scattered around the yard, he heard the pearly tones of a talented up-and-comer in the Nashville scene whose music, in his humble opinion, might be a little too old for a fourteen-year-old girl.

Kids stood in clumps of conversation, the girls laughing on one side, the boys on the other. He recognized Nate propped up on crutches, his leg in a cast.

A few parents congregated on the deck, and the smell of hot dogs and burgers sizzling on the grill seasoned the air.

He spotted the honorable Robert Fairing standing on the deck wearing a green apron and wielding a spatula.

Ben paused as the past put a hand to his chest.

“Leave, Ben, and make something of your life. And let Kacey do the same.”

He stood there, trying to find his footing, reaching out for Kacey’s words, the confirmation that, yes, he had permission to walk back into her life.

Maybe he’d read too much into her invitation, but even though he’d texted her twice, just to confirm, she hadn’t suggested she’d changed her mind.

It did nothing to stop the crazy daydream forming in his mind, the one where he started over, stayed in Mercy Falls, rebuilt his life—one that included Kacey as his wife and Audrey living in a home he built for them.

The life he should have had.

Then he spotted her. Kacey walked out on the deck carrying another bowl of popcorn. Her auburn hair hung long and loose, glinting copper and gold in the fading sunlight, and she was wearing a pair of cutoff jeans, cowboy boots, and a T-shirt topped with a flannel shirt tied at the waist.

She looked about eighteen, and his heart skipped, the memories so tangible he could nearly feel her lips on his, smell her skin, hear her whispering in his ear.

“I think I love you.”

Oh shoot, yes, he wanted this way, way too much.

And then, as if she knew his heart had climbed outside his body, running full-speed ahead toward her, she turned and spotted him.

Smiled, her eyes shining.

He was a goner, and as she put down the popcorn and came over to him, he scrambled for words.

Her gaze went to the gift. “Really?”

He shrugged. “It seemed like the right thing.”

She stood in front of him, and he wished he hadn’t worn the suit jacket over his T-shirt and jeans, wished he might be in his comfy jeans, a cotton T-shirt and, while he was at it, sitting with her in the back of his pickup, singing her a song.

He might even try the one that kept churning through his head, almost nonstop for the last week. Something from the past that he’d revived, added a verse or two.

“You want to give it to her now?” Kacey asked.

“Really?” Oh, way too much hope in his voice.

But she didn’t comment, just nodded. “A few of the kids brought gifts, but she opened them already. I think she’ll love it.”

She reached out to tug him forward, but he hesitated.

“What?”

He shot a look at the Judge, who still hadn’t noticed him.

She followed his gaze. Dropped her hand. “He has his regrets too, Ben.”

Sure he did. But Ben let her lead him toward a cluster of kids. He spotted Audrey standing in the middle wearing cutoff overalls and a pink T-shirt, barefoot in the grass, her hair pulled back into two braids.

He stood at the edge of the crowd, but it only took a second for her to look up, her eyes to go wide. “Wow. Hi.”

“Happy birthday,” he said quietly, the most profound, perfect words he’d ever spoken. Then he held out her gift.

Her mouth opened, and she looked from her mother, back to Ben. “Really? For me?”

“No time like the present, right?”

“You got me a guitar?”

He nodded, grinning, his heart exploding as she came over and took the instrument in its case into her embrace.

“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered, her eyes glossy.

Neither did Ben.

“Thank you,” Kacey said, and Audrey glanced at her.

“This is the best present anyone has ever gotten me. In my whole life.”

He raised an eyebrow. Grinned, still unable to speak. She brought it over to a sofa, set it down, and opened it. Almost reverently, she ran her hands over the fingerboard, the rosewood pick guard, the amber body.

“It’s a vintage Gibson Hummingbird,” he said. “The design is called a square shoulder dreadnought, the way they made guitars back in the 1960s. The top is made from spruce, the body from mahogany. And the pick guard is hand engraved, with the original bird and floral design. It’s got a beautiful sound. May I?”

She stepped back, and he pulled it out of the case, propped his leg on the sofa arm. He’d already tuned it this morning and now played a quick lick. “The midrange is perfectly balanced, and listen to the treble.”

He picked out another country lick, his fingers flying over the fretboard, and watched as her eyes lit up.

“Do that again,” she said.

He laughed and repeated it, faster, extending it. “How about a birthday song?” he asked over the music. “I wrote you a little something.”

“You wrote a song for me?”

“Just something silly.” But he played the intro riff and launched into the song.

Thirteen years, already gone

Sweet little girl, sweet country song

So much more, she’s just begun

Let’s start with tonight, let’s have some fun

Happy birthday, Audrey, it’s true

The world had no song ’til there was you

He’d managed to get through the entire thing without his voice seizing up, but he segued fast into another impressive riff, then ended with a flourish.

She was clapping, her beautiful eyes shining. “I love it!” She turned, found her mother standing just outside the ring. “He sang me a song.”

Kacey wore a strange smile, her eyes glistening. “I know, baby.”

Then Audrey turned back to him, and he didn’t know what to do when she flung her arms around his neck. “Thank you!”

He startled, and by the time he figured out to hug her back, she’d danced away, laughing, caught in the arms of a couple giggling girls. He put the guitar back in the case.

He was turning back toward the house when he spotted Robert staring at him from the deck. Ben nodded at him, not wanting to give him reason to stride down, order him off his property.

Funny how one look could steal ten years of success and make him feel like a teenager sporting a black eye, swollen lip, and way too much shame to stand up for himself.

He searched for Kacey and found her coming up behind him. “That was . . . really cool of you, Ben.” She whisked her hand across her cheek.

“It was nothing.”

“You wrote a song.”

“It was just a silly little somethin’ . . . but . . .” He lifted a shoulder.

She made a noncommittal noise. “Why don’t I put the guitar in the house, where it won’t get damaged?”

He handed it over to her, then stood, watching Audrey laugh with her friends, feeling Robert’s gaze on his neck. He noticed that Nate was standing away from Audrey, talking with a couple other girls. He kept sneaking looks at her, but when she glanced up, he would look away.

Yep, the kid liked her. Probably too much for his own good, although Ben knew exactly how it felt to be thirteen and in love with the most beautiful, amazing girl in town, feeling so out of his league it only stirred in him a desire to be better. Be more.

Be worthy.

“Did you get a burger?” Kacey had returned.

“I can’t eat,” he said and cast another look at Audrey.

Kacey grew silent beside him, then put her hand on his shoulder. “We’ll tell her. Let’s just wait until after the party, maybe?”

He nodded, unable to speak with the immensity of the emotions washing through him.

“Wanna take a walk?” she said, as if sensing the fact he just might do something crazy, like break out into tears.

He nodded, and she slipped her arm through his, guiding him away from the party.

“What movie are they seeing tonight?” he asked.

“Oh, probably Star Wars. Audrey is a crazy nut over the original series.”

He took her hand as they wandered toward the paddock. A creamy palomino grazed in the field, its ears flicking back as Kacey whistled.

“That’s Snowy,” she said. “My parents gave her to Audrey a couple years ago. I think it was my dad’s attempt to make good on a promise he made me when I was thirteen to buy me a pony.”

He leaned on the rail. The music had faded as they’d wandered away, the scent of pine replacing the aroma of burgers on the grill. “I remember that promise,” he said.

She sighed. “They seemed to think a horse would somehow make up for lying to me for thirteen years about the fact my mother was really my aunt, and my real mother was doing twenty-to-life for murder.”

He winced at that, and she looked over at him. “Oh no, Ben. I don’t think Audrey is going to be upset—”

“I’m afraid that when we tell her, she’ll want nothing to do with me, she’ll be so angry with me for missing so much of her life.”

“Ben!”

But he walked away from her. “What if . . . maybe we should just leave things well enough? She likes me, Kacey. And maybe that’s enough.”

He’d reached the barn, and Snowy met them at the rail, having responded to Kacey’s whistle. She nudged her muzzle into his hand, and Ben ran his other down her forelock.

Kacey had followed him, silent. “I understand—really, I do. Every time I come home from a deployment or am on leave, I wonder if this will be the time Audrey won’t forgive me. She’ll suddenly discover that I wasn’t enough mother for her and decide I don’t have a place in her life.” She reached up, petted Snowy. “Sometimes I go back to that decision to join the military and wonder what would have happened if I’d stayed. Maybe gotten a job in town, taken classes at the community college . . .”

“Or if I hadn’t left.” He turned, leaned against the railing. “If I hadn’t been a coward and believed you’d be better off without me.”

“Not followed your dream? No, Ben—”

“That wasn’t my dream, Kace.” He took her hand, tugged her to him. Then he reached up, touched her cheek. “You were. You, and Audrey.”

Her beautiful eyes widened, so much raw, eager vulnerability in them, and for the second time that night, she simply swept his breath from his chest.

Somewhere inside that tough soldier exterior was the girl who believed in him, who saw him as her hero. Who had loved just him, without the number one singles, the awards.

“Can I ask you something?” His thumbs ran over her cheekbones.

“Mmmhmm.”

“How did I get so lucky that you’re not married to some other guy?”

She looked down, away from him. Shrugged. “Because there’s never been anyone else but you, Ben.”

Oh. Her words could simply unravel him. “Wow, I love you.”

It just leaked out, and he didn’t care. Just dove in, his heart suddenly thundering to break free. “I never stopped, never could escape the idea that someday, somehow I might be able to earn your forgiveness.” His voice thickened. “Please forgive me for leaving.”

She looked up at him, her green eyes thick with emotion. “Forgiven.” She touched her forehead to his. “If I am.”

She leaned back, and he curled his hand behind her neck. Searched her face, then settled on her lips. His throat thickened. “Absolutely.”

He pulled her to himself and kissed her. Nothing tentative this time. He knew what he wanted, and fueled by his memories, his touch contained the longing of missing her, and his hopes of healing the raw, open, fourteen-year wound between them.

He kissed her like she belonged to him, and him to her, smelling the afternoon sun on her skin, pulling her closer, tangling his fingers into her soft, cascading hair.

And she pressed into him, moving her arms up over his shoulders, kissing him back as if he might be her entire world.

The way it was supposed to be.

“Oh Kacey,” he whispered as he came up for air. It scared him a little how easily he opened his heart for her to walk back into. How much he could taste this life that should have been his.

That would be his. “Let’s tell her tonight, after the party.”

She met his gaze, her breath a little broken, and nodded.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Ben stilled.

Kacey’s eyes widened.

Not again . . .

He grimaced as she untangled herself from his embrace. “Daddy—”

“I thought you were smarter than this, Kacey.” Robert stood just outside the shadow of the barn. He’d removed the apron, his shoulders rising and falling as if holding in something akin to what churned through Ben’s brain.

But he wasn’t a scared seventeen-year-old kid anymore. Let’s have a go, sir.

He found Kacey’s hand and clasped it.

“Judge—”

Her father held up his hand, his face grim. “Listen, I know you two think you’re rekindling the past, but in truth, you’re just headed for heartache.”

“How’s that?”

“When Audrey finds out what’s happening here—”

“That her parents have finally found their way back to each other?” Ben said. “That she has a father?” He kept his voice down and bit back the diatribe that threated to emerge.

“No. That her father is a big country star on a pit stop through town, and as soon as he’s got a better gig, he’ll be on his way. And she’ll be heartbroken again. As will my daughter.”

“That’s not—”

And that’s when he spotted her. She was dressed in short cutoffs, a lacy cream top, a cowboy hat, designer boots, and a thick turquoise necklace dangling from her neck. Hollie Montgomery. And, of course, she was attracting an entourage.

He had no words as his country costar marched right up to him, past Robert, ignoring Kacey, put her arms around his neck, and kissed him on the mouth.

And that’s when Kacey let go of his hand.

For all her military training, and in ten years of working in a combat zone, Kacey never had the dark urge to pull out her hand-to-hand combat skills until this very moment.

Except she didn’t exactly know where to focus her attack. On the slinky blonde who held Ben’s face in her grip, grinning up at him as if she might give him another smack on the lips.

Or Ben, who had Hollie by the arms, as if to steady her, maybe even pull her back in.

His words broke through her haze of shock, however, and forestalled her response.

“Hollie, what are you doing here?”

Here. Not what are you doing?

Yep, she should hit Ben. But hadn’t she known, deep down inside, that he had something going with Hollie? Anyone who read the tabloids could figure that out—they didn’t all lie.

So she was the foolish one for believing he hadn’t had feelings for Hollie. If she thought about it, he hadn’t really said they’d dated. But hadn’t clarified that they hadn’t either. Just called her cotton candy.

A lot of people liked cotton candy.

She deserved this horrible, humiliating moment. Still, she managed to fold her arms akimbo, listening for Hollie’s answer.

“Benji—I told you.” Hollie dropped her hands from his face and grabbed his wrists. “I was wrong. I need you.” She even affected a little pout, and if he fell for this, then—

“It’s not a big deal—”

“Oh, I knew you’d forgive me!” She flung her arms around his neck, knocking him backward.

Not a big deal?

That’s not how he’d made it sound.

Kacey took another step back, felt her father’s presence next to her. His hand went around her arm.

Ben set Hollie down, held her at arm’s length. “No, Hollie, listen. That’s not what I meant—”

“What, you don’t forgive me?” She stepped back, and that’s when a flash went off.

Ben flung up his hand, and Kacey glanced in the direction of the light.

A cell phone, one of the kids. In fact, it seemed the entire party had followed them out here to watch the reunion of country duo Montgomery-King.

“Not here,” he growled and reached for Hollie’s arm, but she wrenched it away.

“No. Are you still mad at me?”

And despite her own fury, Kacey saw him glance at the kids, over to Audrey, and she recognized a man trapped.

He metamorphosed before her eyes in a blink, into Mr. CMA, affecting a drawl Kacey had heard on too many country music interviews. “Of course not, honey.”

Superstar Benjamin King had returned. As if to seal the deal, he tugged on Hollie’s hat, gave her a wink. “I could never stay mad at you, darling.’”

She gave him another hug, more cell phones flashed, and Kacey turned toward the house.

She just might be ill with her own stupidity.

But she hadn’t pushed far through the crowd when she heard Ben’s voice. “Kacey!”

She didn’t want to turn, but she didn’t want to make a spectacle either, and end up going viral on social media. So she stopped. Waited.

Ben came striding after her, and she manufactured the same smile he boasted—fake, wide. Nothing to see here, folks.

“You need to meet Hollie Montgomery,” he said, but his eyes were searching hers, pressing in.

I’m sorry.

She shook her head, ignored his plea. Instead she stuck out her hand to his petite costar. Cotton candy, indeed. “Lieutenant Kacey Fairing. I’m an old pal of Benjamin’s.”

Hollie pumped her hand. “When Ben’s manager emailed me and told me he was here, I thought—what fun to visit him in Montana! I stopped by his house, only to find out he was here. I love birthday parties! So I called your house and your dad said I should come over. Where’s the birthday girl?”

Kacey had frozen, unable to move. But she heard Audrey’s voice rush up behind her. “I’m here.”

And Kacey just couldn’t ruin this moment for her starstruck daughter.

“Glad to meet you, Audrey,” Hollie said. “I got you something.” She held out a tiny gift bag, and Audrey reached inside, pulled out a silver chain with an MK engraved in it.

“For Montgomery-King,” Hollie said, stating the obvious. Then she posed with Audrey for more selfies.

Ben had grabbed Kacey’s elbow, attempting to pull her aside.

She yanked it away, but it lacked gusto.

She didn’t know where she might spend the night tonight, but she had a great urge to simply get in her Escape and head for the border.

He stepped close, spoke in her ear, below the murmur of the guests. “Kacey, I don’t know why she’s here, but I promise, I meant what I said—”

“Stay away from me. And Audrey.”

He drew in a breath as if she’d slapped him, and she regretted her words.

Still. She cut her voice low. “Ben, I don’t know what to think—but I do know that I don’t understand what just happened—”

“She has stage fright.”

Hollie was taking more snaps and laughing with fans.

Kacey looked at him. “What?”

He kept his voice low, managed to keep his smile and wave as Hollie called his name. “She can’t sing in public without, well, me.”

Kacey looked back at Hollie, now climbing up on the fence with her fans for an epic shot. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I’m serious. She’s got a great voice and is a fantastic performer, but only if she has someone—me—to sing with her. I guess she forgot that part when she launched her solo career.”

“With your songs.”

“Half-written songs.”

Hollie slid off the fence, came over to Ben and Kacey. “I brought you a gift too.”

Kacey tried not to look horrified. “Me? Why?”

Hollie glanced at Ben, and Kacey’s heart fell.

What exactly had her father said to Hollie? That she was Ben’s ex—someone Hollie had to woo like an ex-wife?

She suddenly saw a very messy tabloid article, with her and Audrey in color, above the fold.

Hollie had pulled out an envelope. “I have an extra ticket to tomorrow night’s concert in Kalispell.”

Ben stared at her as if she’d spoken German. “What?” He took the envelope from her.

“I got us a gig—at the Great Northern Auditorium. It’s a smaller venue, but—”

“You got yourself a gig. This ticket says the Hollie Montgomery Band.”

She shrugged, made a face. “I’m sorry, my manager put it together before I told him I’d never leave you.”

Kacey looked at Ben, a little unnerved at his expression, like he was trying not to use military moves on Hollie too.

“Please, Benji?” Then Hollie looked so stricken, even Kacey couldn’t imagine Ben saying no.

“Fine,” Ben said. “But just this once.”

“You know you can’t quit me.” She winked and looked at Kacey. “See you tomorrow night. We’re having an after party too—stop by.”

Then she blew a kiss at Ben and left. Kacey followed her exit, saw an SUV sitting in the drive, a bald, tattooed man standing by the door wearing jeans and a white print tank waiting for her.

He lifted a hand to Ben.

“Who’s that?” she asked.

“That’s Harley, my drummer,” he said quietly.

Oh.

He sighed, looked at Kacey. The kids and her parents had migrated back to the party. She stood there, her arms wrapped around herself. “I can’t believe my dad did this.”

Ben looked beyond her, into the horizon. “I can. He’s still trying to protect you from me.”

Probably.

“Are you okay?” She didn’t know why she cared—she wasn’t the one who’d kissed her like he’d forgotten his former life only to dive into another smooch minutes later.

Only, seeing as Hollie had attacked him, Kacey could maybe forgive him for that.

“You two never dated?”

He met her eyes then. Sighed. “Not really. We had a moment, but . . . Kacey, she’s nothing to me. It’s an act, I promise.”

A moment?

“Why, Ben? I didn’t peg her as your type.”

He looked away. Sighed again. “I told you how I came home the summer Ian’s niece went missing.”

She nodded.

He looked at her then, his blue eyes steady in hers, his voice soft. “I came home for you. I wanted to show you I’d made it, and that maybe I was worth . . . Maybe you’d finally forgive me.”

His words left her stripped.

He shook his head, casting his glance away.

“I was so ashamed of myself, that I’d not only broken all my vows to God and gotten you pregnant, but that I’d left you. I wanted to make something of myself—and I finally had. So I came home.”

“And I was gone.”

He nodded. “I didn’t know you’d moved away, and then Sam mentioned that you’d joined the military, and since I didn’t know about Audrey, I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. My mom told me it was time to put the past behind me. So she told me to go back to Nashville, to do something with my life. I went back, and Goldie, my manager, decided I needed something fresh, so she paired me with Hollie in the studio for a couple songs. We sounded so good together, it just happened.”

“You were never in love with her?”

“Are you kidding me? She drives me crazy.”

She laughed, and it felt good to finally let go of the fist in her chest.

Then her smile dimmed. “I should get back to the party.”

He stiffened then. “I don’t think tonight’s quite the night to tell Audrey about . . .” He swallowed. “I think there’s been enough excitement for one night.”

She hated the look on his face. But she nodded anyway.

“What about the concert? Will you come?”

“Aw, Ben, I don’t know—”

“Please. You’ve never really heard me sing . . .”

“Are you kidding me? I grew up hearing you sing. I still hear you sing, all the time.”

She wasn’t sure why she let those words escape, but she felt his smile, the way he searched her face.

“I really want to kiss you right now,” he said, a tone in his voice that slid under her skin, turned it to fire.

However, she put her hand on his chest. “Not in view of the children. Or their cell phones.”

He made a face but closed his hand around hers. “Fine. But I get a dance tomorrow night, at the after party.”

“Does that mean I’m your date?”

Oh, crazy words issuing from her mouth tonight. But she couldn’t seem to stop them.

“Wear a dress.” Then he let go of her hand. “Thank you for tonight. And for . . . understanding. You sure you don’t want me to stick around, have a chat with your dad?”

The question caught her off guard, and the protectiveness in it stirred warmth through her. “No. I’ll talk to him.”

“Tell Audrey good-bye for me.”

Behind them, she heard the intro music for Star Wars.

“Go, must I,” he said.

“May the force be with you.”

She laughed as he walked out to his truck.

Her father was gone when she returned to the backyard.

She debated tracking him down, but she wouldn’t let her anger destroy Audrey’s night.

Kacey found her and flopped down next to her on the sofa, curling her arm around her. To her shock, Audrey leaned into her embrace.

Princess Leia was running from Stormtroopers on the screen, and the speakers were pumping out the sound of lasers.

“Do you like him, Mom?”

Kacey glanced down at her. “Who?”

“Benjamin King. Because I think he likes you.”

Kacey let her breath trickle out slowly. “I don’t know.”

Audrey looked up at her. “I know I’ve never said, but sometimes I think it would be cool to have a dad, you know?”

Kacey bit her lip. Nodded. “I know.”

“Do you think he thinks about me, sometimes? My real dad?”

Oh. She kept her voice soft, easy. “I’m positive he does, honey. How could he not?”

Audrey sighed. “Well, he missed an awesome party tonight.”

Kacey gave her a squeeze.

R2-D2 landed on Tatooine.

“Mom.” Audrey leaned up. “I hope you know I didn’t mean it. About you going back to Florida. I’m really glad you’re here.” She put her arms around Kacey, gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Best birthday ever.”