In a scene from the comedy The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005), David (Paul Rudd) tried to give the title character, Andy (Steve Carell), a giant box of porn. David’s reasoning was that a virgin would, of course, need porn: that something is needed if sex isn’t being had. In this chapter, masturbation is connected to substitution on two levels: one pertains to the absence of a lover and masturbation serving as a substitute for partnered sex, and two, masturbation being the most successful route to orgasm and thus substituting for intercourse on the grounds of efficiency and effectiveness. Also discussed is self-stimulation as a substitute for more controversial sexual desires including infidelity and pedophilia.
In the romantic-comedy Chasing Amy (1997), Banksy (Jason Lee) shared his thoughts on female sexuality with his friend Holden (Ben Affleck): “All every woman really wants—be it mother, senator, nun—is some serious deep-dicking.” This idea of deep dicking—that a woman needs to be penetrated—is certainly a theme detectable in a number of female masturbation scenes: that many masturbate simply because they lack dick. Dick in such examples serves as a metonym for contact with a man in the broadest sense, although sex is an obvious component. This kind of masturbation references loneliness and desperation which are addressed later in this chapter; in this section I focus on it simply connoting horniness.
In a scene from the romantic-comedy Chances Are (1989), Corinne (Cybill Shepherd)—who hadn’t had sex since her husband’s death decades prior—remarked, “I’m so ripe I’m about to fall off the vine.” While Corinne didn’t specifically allude to masturbation, her manless horniness—her ripeness—was certainly implied. In other examples, horniness is overtly connected to both partnerless-ness and masturbation. At the very literal end of the spectrum is a scene from the horror film Bad Biology (2008). Jennifer (Charlee Danielson) articulated her nymphomania and then stated, “I need a dick like a junkie needs fix.” The character then masturbated. Jennifer made it clear: she was masturbating because dick was not available to her.
While not stated as explicitly as in Bad Biology, there are numerous examples where masturbation is engaged in as a direct response to the unavailability of sex. In some scenes sex is unavailable because it is denied. This transpires in the romantic-comedy She’s the One (1996) for example, when Renee (Jennifer Aniston) threatened her husband Francis (Mike McGlone) that unless he had sex with her, that she would masturbate in the bathroom with her vibrator. While Renee didn’t end up masturbating, in others scenes sex that is rebuffed does indeed motivate autoeroticism. In an episode of the crime-series Brotherhood (2006–2008), Michael (Jason Isaacs) was in the car with his ex-girlfriend Kath (Tina Benko). Kath tried to seduce him, Michael rejected her advances, so she masturbated. In the drama Autoerotic (2011), the unnamed Kate Lyn Sheil character tried to wake her boyfriend (Joe Swanberg) to no avail, so she masturbated. In the horror film Erosion (2005), Irene (Charis Michelsen) was in bed with her husband. She made a move to seduce him, he said he needed to sleep. Irene then masturbated. In the Australian comedy The Rage in Lake Placid (2003), Jane (Saskia Smith) suggested to her colleague Placid (Bee Lee) that the two have sex. Placid declined so Jane masturbated. In an episode of Girls (2012–), after her date ended without any physical contact, Marnie (Alison Williams) masturbated in a bathroom. In Being There (1979), Eve’s (Shirley MacLaine) sexual advances had apparently not been noticed by Chance (Peter Sellers) so she masturbated. In an episode of the medical-drama Nip/Tuck (2003–2010), Kimber (Kelly Carlson) stated that she was tired of having to masturbate to fall asleep given Christian’s (Julian McMahon) post-traumatic disinterest in intercourse.
In these examples, masturbation was prompted by a lack of access to a specific dick: contact with the penis of a loved one was denied so autoeroticism ensued. In other examples, the allusion to absent dick is more general and masturbation substitutes for men and sex in the broadest sense. In the comedy There’s Something About Mary (1998) for example, Mary (Cameron Diaz) discussed her failed relationship and commented, “Who needs him? I’ve got a vibrator!” A vibrator as a substitute for any dick was similarly alluded to in the family-comedy Parenthood (1989). After Helen’s (Dianne Wiest) sex toy was accidentally exposed at a family dinner, she asked her daughter, “Do you know why I’m having sex with machinery? . . . Because your father left to have a party and I stayed to raise two kids! I have no life!” In both examples, the general idea of being without a man motivated self-stimulation.
Masturbation substituting for dick also takes other forms. In chapter 3, I discussed anthropomorphism and female characters humanizing their sex toys. This process—where vibrators are given names for example, or referred to as boyfriends—are a good illustration of this. In the comedy The Slums of Beverley Hills (1998), Rita (Marisa Tomei) referred to her vibrator as her boyfriend. In the sitcom The Big Bang Theory (2007–), Amy (Mayim Bialik) masturbated with an electric toothbrush that she had named Gerard. In the sitcom 30 Rock (2006–2013), Jenna (Jane Krakowski) mentioned that Doug, her vibrator, was her second longest relationship. In these examples, sex toys functioned explicitly as dick substitutes for women who didn’t have ready access to men; without real men, these female characters used inanimate objects to, seemingly, mimic partnered sex.
In chapter 4 I discussed masturbation used on screen to convey pining. As relevant to this section, self-stimulation can center on substituting for unavailable dicks; that the woman was not overtly rebuffed like Kath in Brotherhood, Jane in The Rage in Lake Placid or Marnie in Girls but rather, that circumstances dictated that she could not access the specific dick she craved. This same theme transpires in a range of scenes. In the television series Banshee (2013–) Anastasia (Ivana Milicevic) masturbated in the bathtub to flashback scenes of her with absent lover. In the thriller Impulse (2008), Claire (Willa Ford) masturbated to thoughts of sex with her deceased husband; widowed Anne (Sarah Miles) did the same in the mystery The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea (1976). In each example, the dick desired was unavailable so masturbation served as a stand-in.
The most obvious reading of these scenes is that they reflect how some women in real life think about masturbation: that it is done when “real sex” is unavailable. In sex researcher Shere Hite’s work, women explicitly spoke of masturbation as a substitute. One woman for example, explained: “Yes, I enjoy masturbating . . . usually when I have no one to fuck with . . .”[1] Another claimed, “It keeps you from going nuts when you need sex.”[2] While the idea that masturbation is not real sex unsubtly frames masturbation as a lesser quality substitute, nevertheless, these examples highlight a central use for the activity: as a solution to horniness when sex—presumably the first preference—is unavailable.
While the penis-substitute storyline will most likely involve a masturbating woman, the idea was presented in a homosexual context in the biopic Prick Up Your Ears (1987). Kenneth (Alfred Molina) put his hand on lover Joe’s (Gary Oldman) leg in an attempt to initiate sex. Joe rebuffed the advances, “No. Have a wank.”
Just as female masturbation is frequently considered as a substitute for intercourse, unsurprisingly male masturbation is portrayed in the exact same manner.
Not all presentations of young men masturbating frame the act as a substitution for intercourse: young masturbators such as DJ (Michael Fishman) in Roseanne (1988–1997), Frank (Owen Kline) in The Squid and the Whale (2005), Billy (Rufus Read) in Happiness (1998), Mike (Dean Collins) in The War At Home (2005–2007), Shane (Alexander Gould) in Weeds (2005–2012) and Adam (Gabriel Basso) in The Big C (2010–2013) each seemed far more interested in simply tending to their youthful horniness than yearning for a partner. In other examples however, the adolescent male’s masturbation is explicitly connected to unavailable intercourse. In chapter 5, I discussed how young people generally don’t have the same access to private space as adults; equally so, young people often don’t have the same access to intercourse that adults do either and thus in many cases use masturbation to substitute. In the teen fantasy-comedy Weird Science (1985) for example, nerdy adolescent Gary’s (Anthony Michael Hall) bathroom masturbation was his sole sexual outlet. In teen-comedy American Pie (1999), teenager Jim (Jason Biggs) was preoccupied with losing his virginity: while he waited, like Gary, his energies were channelled into autoeroticism. In the sitcom My Wife and Kids (2001–2005), teenager Michael Jr. (George O. Gore II) was similarly preoccupied with losing his virginity; he masturbated during his wait.[3] The coming of age drama Youth in Revolt (2009) opened with adolescent Nick (Michael Cera) masturbating; the character narrated his actions, “I’m still a virgin, needless to say.” In a scene from 10 Things I Hate About You (1999), Michael (David Krumholtz) encouraged his friend Cameron (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) to stop obsessing about a classmate deemed out of their league and to just put her in his “spank bank.” In an episode of Glee (2009–), masturbation was explicitly discussed as something to tide people over until they were ready for sex. Adolescents Kurt (Chris Colfer) and Blaine (Darren Criss) for example, had just started dating and had the following conversation:
Kurt: I’m just wondering have you ever had the urge to just rip off each other’s clothes and get dirty?
Blaine: Ah, yeah. But that’s why they invented masturbation.
This same theme is referenced in narratives when adult characters reflected on their youth and remembered autoeroticism as a direct substitute for sex. In an episode of Orange is the New Black (2013–) for example, after unsuccessfully initiating phone sex with his incarcerated wife, Larry (Jason Biggs) sighed and said, “Okay. Well, I’m just gonna go jerk off then. For the 500th time today . . . I’m uh, I’m reliving my youth. I’m fourteen again.” In a scene from the sitcom How I Met Your Mother (2005–), after finally meeting a girl who shared his love of Star Wars (1977), Ted (Josh Radnor) high-fived an imaginary teenage version of himself, “We did it you masturbating little bastard!” In these examples, masturbation was recalled as tiding an adolescent over until an opportunity for partnered sex arose. Masturbation as a stop-gap measure was also identifiable in an episode of the British television series Coupling (2000–2004) as well as in real life masturbation accounts. In Coupling, Steve (Jack Davenport) commented, “You know what they say: if music be the food of love, then masturbation is just a snack between meals.” A man in Linda Levine and Lonnie Barbach’s work on male sexuality made a similar point, describing masturbation as “a sort of pressure valve for not wanting to spend all my time being horny.”[4] These examples present sexual satisfaction as essential and thus, if the preferred mode of sex—intercourse—is unavailable, then it needs to be obtained elsewhere and autoeroticism is an obvious solution.[5]
In the comedy Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) substitution was alluded to when sports commentator Cotton (Gary Cole) remarked that, “These Woodsmen probably haven’t even smelled a woman in eight months,” to which his lacklustre sidekick Pepper (Jason Bateman) unnecessarily responded, “They must masturbate a lot, Cotton.” While Dodgeball crudely articulated the generic no vag equals masturbation theory, in some narratives the cause/effect connection is made more explicitly. As in the Prick Up Your Ears example discussed earlier, in an episode of Nip/Tuck, after Ava (Famke Janssen) rebuffed the sexual advances of Matt (John Hensley), she suggested he masturbate. In the drama Closer (2004), after Anna (Julia Roberts) turned down Larry’s (Clive Owen) offer of sex, he said “well, I’ll see to myself then.” In a scene from the suburban-drama American Beauty (1999), when Lester (Kevin Spacey) was caught masturbating by his wife (Annette Bening), he explicitly articulated that he was doing so to substitute: “The new me whacks off when he feels horny ‘cos you’re obviously not going to help me out in that department.” In Happiness, immediately after a session with his therapist—where the lack of sex in his marriage was discussed—Bill (Dylan Baker) masturbated in his car to a magazine featuring very young boys. In the comedy Couples Retreat (2009), Joey (Jon Favreau) was reclining on a couch when he noticed his bikini-clad wife, Lucy (Kristin Davis), come inside from the pool. He looked at her admiringly, but she walked straight past him to the bathroom. Lucy’s subtle rebuff prompted Joey to embark on self-stimulation using an image of a woman in a bikini. In the comedy Hall Pass (2011), Fred (Jason Sudeikis) was explicitly told by his wife (Christina Applegate) that they wouldn’t be having sex that evening: “Not tonight you don’t. I’m bloated and I have cramps.” Fred responded by taking his horniness to his car and masturbating there. In an episode of the sitcom Spin City (1996–2002), Mike (Michael J. Fox) and colleague Caitlin (Heather Locklear) were making out in his office. Abruptly, Caitlin stopped proceedings and left his office. Deflated, Mike sat down, looked at his hand and said, “So, how was your day?”[6] In an episode of sitcom Friends (1994–2004), after Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) rebuffed the sexual advances of Mark (Steven Eckholdt)—on the grounds that sex with him would just be about getting back at her ex—Mark reassured her, despondently, that she need not worry, “I can just go home and get back at him by myself.” In the romantic-comedy The Good Girl (2002), Holden (Jake Gyllenhaal) masturbated while thinking about his co-worker Justine (Jennifer Aniston). Justine was married and thus Holden did not have sexual access to her so masturbation was his substitute. While in these examples men were denied vagina, the same thing happens in lesbian narratives. In an episode of Nip/Tuck, Dr. Cruz (Roma Maffia) remarked “I have my rabbit vibrator, who needs a real girl?” In the mystery Mulholland Dr. (2001), after Camilla (Laura Harring) suggested that she and her lover Diane (Naomi Watts) break up, in the very next scene—after Camilla had left—Diana masturbated on the couch. In the comedy-drama Freeway II: Confessions of a Trickbaby (1999), “White Girl” (Natasha Lyonne) and Cyclona (María Celedonio) were inmates at a juvenile correction facility. Cyclona asked White Girl whether she wanted oral sex. White Girl declined so Cyclona proceeded to masturbate. In both examples, the lack of access to partnered sex motivated masturbation.
Akin to the female scenes, in a variety of other examples men—while not explicitly rebuffed—masturbated because their partner was inaccessible. Chandler (Matthew Perry) in Friends for example, masturbated to porn while alone in a hotel room and thus separated from his girlfriend. In the military-drama Jarhead (2005), deployed marine Anthony (Jake Gyllenhaal) masturbated while holding a photo of his partner. Akin to the Banshee, Impulse and The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea scenes, in the drama The Brown Bunny (2003), Bud (Vincent Gallo) masturbated to the memory of Daisy (Chloë Sevigny), a past lover who had died. In an episode of the bikie-drama Sons of Anarchy (2008–), incarcerated Otto (Kurt Sutter) similarly masturbated to the smell of his deceased wife’s perfume. In both examples, death had eliminated the character’s preferred sexual outlet so masturbation substituted. Worth noting, such scenes subtly convey the idea that when men are actually in proximity to their partner that they normally get sex and thus only need to masturbate when separated. The undercurrent here is that masturbation is only necessarily—only desirable—for a partnered man when his first preference is unavailable.
In chapter 3, I discussed male characters in narratives including Nip/Tuck, River’s Edge (1986), Married With Children (1987–1997), 2 Broke Girls (2011–), House (2004–2012), The Simpsons (1989–), The Cleveland Show (2009–), Boston Legal (2004–2008) and Lars and the Real Girl (2007) who each had liaisons with sex dolls. While only in Nip/Tuck did sex actually transpire on screen between man and doll, in the other examples the arrangement was subtly implied. In a similar themed scene from Autoerotic, the unnamed Adam Wingard character masturbated into a rubber replica of his ex-girlfriend’s vagina. These examples provide the most literal example of masturbation functioning as a heterosexual intercourse substitute: sex dolls look (in varying degrees of accuracy) like women and, notably for this discussion, boast orifices suitable for penetration.
Like the real life women who masturbate as a substitute for sex, it can be assumed that men do so for similar reasons. This idea was referred to in psychologist William Kraft’s work where he quoted a man who discussed his motivations for self-stimulation: “I guess I use masturbation as a substitute for real intimacy. But it’s no fun being lonely. Maybe someday I’ll stop and go for the real thing.”[7]
While Corinne in Chances Are and Helen in Parenthood were older than the sexually active women normally presented on screen, neither were presented as repellent. In fact, the masturbation of the female characters discussed thus far is less about desperation—as them being unfuckable—and more so as evidence of empowerment (chapter 9) and as them taking control of their sexual needs; autoeroticism is not what they want but neither are they willing to forego pleasure. Male masturbation contrarily, is rarely presented this way. For a man to masturbate on screen, it is more commonly indicative of his sexual desperation: that men who can’t get a woman elect to masturbate because they are socially awkward, nerdy and weird (as opposed to time poor, abandoned or in bad relationships as in the female examples).
In an episode of Nip/Tuck, Kit (Rhona Mitra) dismissively remarked that, “Porn’s for fat kids.” The porn/fatness link was also made in an episode of the British detective series Sherlock (2010–) when the title character (Benedict Cumberbatch) dismissed a possible suspect:
Did you see him? Morbidly obese, the undisguised halitosis of a single man living on his own, the right sleeve of an internet porn addict, and the erratic breathing pattern of an undiagnosed heart condition? Low self-esteem, tiny IQ, limited life-expectancy, and you think he’s an audacious criminal mastermind?
Noted repeatedly in this book is porn frequently serving as a metonym for masturbation: in both the Nip/Tuck and Sherlock scenes, the subtle message was that fat people—that unfuckable people—masturbate. This idea is in fact, in line with research discussed by sexologist Mels van Driel who noted that fat people in real life do masturbate more than thin, the explanation assumed to center on a lack of desirability and thus narrower sexual options, mirroring teenagers (chapter 2) and prisoners (chapter 5).[8]
While there is certainly not a deluge of overweight characters in film and television nor, for that matter, a deluge of masturbation portrayals and thus seeing the two fused in a scene is rare, some examples are detectable. In The Simpsons for example, overweight patriarch Homer confessed to a priest that he had masturbated “eight billion times” and had “no intention of stopping.” While obese, Homer was also happily married with a seemingly good sex life. The themes also converged in the sitcom The Drew Carey Show (1995–2004). Overweight character Mimi (Kathy Kinney) was wearing a pair of vibrating panties. The panties, were however, the suggestion of her partner Steve (John Carroll Lynch); as in The Simpsons, Mimi was also in a happy relationship. Neither Homer nor Mimi was unfuckable in actuality. The films Happiness, Due Date (2010), Control Alt Delete (2008), Thanks for Sharing (2013) and Soft Fruit (1999) as well as the television series American Horror Story (2011–), do however, provide better examples where obesity, masturbation and loneliness converge. In Happiness the overweight character Allen (Philip Seymour Hoffman) masturbated because he couldn’t get the woman he wanted. In fact, the only woman interested in him was the equally overweight character Kristina (Camryn Manheim) who Allen wasn’t interested in. Allen masturbated because this was the best he could get access to.[9] In Due Date, Ethan (Zach Galifianakis) was an overweight single man who masturbated. In Thanks for Sharing, Neil (Josh Gad) was also overweight, single and compulsively masturbating, as was Lewis (Tyler Labine) in Control Alt Delete. As in Happiness, these scenes can be considered as examples of unfuckable men masturbating because of a paucity of other options. The Australian film Soft Fruit provided a female example when overweight divorced mother Nadia (Sacha Horler) masturbated.[10] This same scenario also transpired in American Horror Story when single, lonely and overweight Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe) self-stimulated.
Expanding on the idea of supposed unfuckability is that as a consequence a character is left lonely; that Allen in Happiness, Ethan in Due Date, Neil in Thanks for Sharing, Lewis in Control Alt Delete, Nadia in Soft Fruit and Queenie in American Horror Story are lonely because they are unfuckable. On screen and masturbation as a balm to loneliness is presented in a range of narratives broader than just those concerned with unfuckability.
In chapter 4 I discussed scenes from a variety of narratives where characters masturbated to fantasies involving celebrities. While in that chapter I discussed such scenes in the context of celebrities serving as masturbation triggers, also worth noting is that they can function as examples of characters masturbating to the sex that they are never going to have. While the fantasizer is not necessarily unfuckable in the way that Allen from Happiness or Queenie from American Horror Story might be construed as, nevertheless, in these celebrity-themed examples, masturbation substituted for sex that is unattainable. While male characters masturbating to female celebrities might be expected given that men are assumed to need external visual stimulation (chapter 3), for women to do so, the scenes have an air of desperation and fantasism: that these women need to escape the dreariness of their lives by self-stimulating to highly romanticized sex that can only ever transpire in their minds.[11] (This issue of masturbation as escapism is returned to in chapter 10).
Another explanation for the masturbation in these scenes is that they portray compound deviance. In a culture that determines that slenderness is an essential component of beauty and desirability, to be fat is aberrant; it represents overindulgence, lack of restraint, and, ultimately, deviance.[12] It is thus, no surprise, that sometimes the deviance of fatness is linked to sexual deviance too. For a character to fail to control their appetite—for both food and sex—their aberrance is thus illustrated. A scene from the film The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), illustrated this particularly well. In one scene, the newly wealthy overweight character Donnie (Jonah Hill) was seated at a party, masturbating while looking at a woman across the room. This scene was about gluttony, decadence, overindulgence and most notably, lack of restraint.
Identifiable in a number of the scenes discussed above is masturbation being inextricably linked to loneliness; that the act is less about horniness and more so an attempt to fill a void that a partner otherwise would.
In an episode of the British sitcom Peep Show (2003–), on his wedding day Mark (David Mitchell) was experiencing the clichéd cold feet: “I don’t know. I don’t wanna end up on my own like Miss Haversham, wanking into a flannel, but I do feel very strongly that it’s not . . . right.” In this scene, Mark’s imaginings of future loneliness involved him “wanking into a flannel”: masturbation was clearly a key part of a bad outcome for him and would be an ultimate manifestation of loneliness. The same humorous screen union of masturbation and loneliness was apparent in an episode of the sitcom Roseanne (1988–1997) when Darlene (Sara Gilbert) mentioned her brother DJ’s (Michael Fishman) masturbation, noting “DJ’s finally got a friend that’s not imaginary.”
While many of the examples discussed thus far are simply about horniness, in others masturbation is presented as a substitute for intimacy; that it is much more than a solution to horniness, but rather, serves as a screen testimony to loneliness and a substitute for company. In Hephzibah Anderson’s memoir Chastened: No More Sex in the City, she reflected on the comedy-drama Margot at the Wedding (2007)—which included a scene of the unpartnered title character (Nicole Kidman) masturbating alone in her bedroom—and wrote, “Yes, masturbation is big in indie movies right now . . . but mightn’t that just be a metaphor for sexual alienation?”[13] Masturbation is indeed frequently presented as a way to convey a character’s isolation and alienation.
Loneliness and sexual alienation is certainly a viable interpretation for the masturbation scenes discussed thus far in this chapter but there are others where a character’s loneliness is alluded to more explicitly. In Parenthood for example, Helen spoke of being abandoned by her husband and left alone to masturbate. In the mystery Presumed Innocent (1990), the same connection was also made: Rusty (Harrison Ford) walked in on his wife Barbara (Bonnie Bedelia), who was resting, out of breath, on the marital bed. He asked her whether she had been exercising: Barbara corrected him, “masturbation—the refuge of the lonely housewife.” In an episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit (1999–), a suspect had masturbated at a porn theatre; he then did so again by rubbing up against someone on a train. During police questioning he alluded to his loneliness by explaining, “I just wanted some contact.” In the comedy You, Me and Dupree (2006), Dupree (Owen Wilson) tried phoning his girlfriend but she wouldn’t take his call. Dupree then masturbated. Later the character admitted his loneliness explaining, “lonely old Dupree just whaling away on himself. . . . An animal wouldn’t debase himself thus.” In the romantic-comedy Somewhere Tonight (2011), middle-aged loners Leroy (John Turturro) and Patti (Katherine Borowitz) met on an adult phone chat line. Patti encouraged Leroy to masturbate which he did.
In these scenes, masturbation is presented as an explicit culmination of loneliness; in others, the connection is more subtle. In the romantic-comedy Brown Sugar (2002) for example, Sidney (Sanaa Lathan) justified her ownership of a “massager” by claiming, “Men take up too much of your time. Time I don’t have.” As the narrative progressed however, it became evident that Sidney’s vibrator was in fact, just a manifestation of her loneliness. Loneliness is similarly a viable rationale for the scenes of masturbating single mothers such as Helen in Parenthood and Margot in Margot at the Wedding, as well as Joan (J. Smith-Cameron) in the drama Margaret (2011), Clara (Victoria Abril) in the Spanish drama Mater amatísima (Mother Dearly Beloved) (1980) and Nadia in Soft Fruit as well as the single father, Ollie (Ben Affleck) in the comedy-drama Jersey Girl (2004).[14] Worth noting, in each scene, the masturbation proved unsatisfying—each woman stopped before orgasm—subtly implying that what they actually craved was something much more substantial than sexual pleasure. A woman in Hite’s research actually aptly referenced the sentiments underpinning these scenes: “Masturbation is satisfying, but not a substitute for male attention and affection.”[15]
The relationship between masturbation and loneliness in real life is established in academic texts. In physician John Meagher’s 1936 work on the topic, he wrote, “Among adults the habit is most common in reclusive, shut-in types who have few or no personal or social outlets, and particularly in those whose cravings for social esteem are slight.”[16] In physician Wilhelm Stekel’s 1953 work on masturbation, he also alluded to this issue: “Many old maids, bashful widows, lonely bachelors find life endurable only through indulgence in masturbation . . .”[17] More modern research also makes the connection: psychotherapist Bernhard Hensel for example, noted that, “The self-sufficiency afforded by masturbation enables individuals to conjure up relationships in fantasies peopled by their internal object relations . . . and to overcome their loneliness at least partly and temporarily.”[18] Sex researchers Cindy Meston and David Buss also made the masturbation/loneliness link, noting that depressed women masturbate much more frequently than non-depressed women, identifying that: “depressed women were masturbating as a “self-help” treatment—trying to feel better by having an orgasm.”[19] Women in Hite’s research also explicitly linked their self-stimulation to loneliness. One for example explained, “I often feel ashamed afterwards like there is something wrong with me because I should have a man to do this any time I want, and I don’t.”[20]
That these lonely masturbation scenes might be construed as mirroring the role of masturbation in real life—as a kind of balm—is certainly one interpretation, however, others are possible. The connection between masturbation and loneliness can serve as a subtle way to demonize masturbation: that masturbation makes a person weird, lonely or unfuckable, alternatively, that the masturbator is by their very nature weird, lonely and unfuckable.
One of the women in Hite’s study referred to masturbation as “lonely, cold and not unsatisfactory at all,”[21] and this is a perfect lens in which to read the masturbation in the scenes discussed in this section. For the women in Margot at the Wedding, Margaret and Mater amatísima as well as for Leroy in Somewhere Tonight, none of the characters appeared to be getting any significant enjoyment from their masturbation and instead appeared simply to be going through the motions. In a scene from the comedy Good Luck Chuck (2007) similar sentiments were expressed: Stu (Dan Fogler) lamented his previous night’s masturbation and commented, “I’ll tell you not satisfying. Last night I masturbated into a grapefruit. I put it into a microwave and heated it up a little bit, which helped, but . . . still.” While comparatively more comic, Stu’s comment, akin to the other examples, nevertheless framed masturbation as very much a lacklustre, second-class substitute for human contact.
While loneliness can be an explanation for masturbation, worth noting, it is also documented as a sentiment felt post-masturbation. van Driel for example, discussed research identifying that 2 percent of women and 10 percent of men felt lonely after masturbating.[22] The idea of masturbation potentially causing loneliness hints to self-stimulation not always being a happy substitute and that substituting masturbation for sex isn’t always an apples-for-apples swap.[23]
In an episode of Peep Show, Mark lamented on what might happen if he broke up with his girlfriend:
Look, if I break up with her I don’t see myself having good sex ever again. Unless I’m, like, going on holiday to Hawaii and the plane crashes and all my fellow survivors are women sex therapists on their way to a conference. And even then, there’ll probably be loads of male sex therapists too and they’d love that, wouldn’t they, all fucking each other and giving each other tips while I sit on a rock, wanking and crying.
The same wanking and crying joke is identifiable in numerous other scenes. In the sitcom Two and a Half Men (2003–) for example, the following conversation transpired between Walden (Ashton Kutcher) and his housemate Alan (Jon Cryer):
Walden: Guess what? I had sex with two girls last night!
Alan: Great! Um, I masturbated and cried myself to sleep.
Walden: I like my night better.
In a scene from the comedy Waiting . . . (2005), this same joke was apparent in an exchange between Dean (Justin Long), Monty (Ryan Reynolds) and Calvin (Rob Benedict):
Dean: Calvin, what happens with every girl you’re interested in?
Monty: Nothing!
Dean: You take ‘em out, you pay for everything, and you never make a move!
Monty: And then you go home, alone, to masturbate while you cry, using your own tears as lube . . .
Calvin: Okay, that was once, and I was drunk, and it was Valentine’s Day. So back off.
Wanking and crying is mentioned in these scenes for comic effect, but the idea that masturbation could actually be something sad or depressing does indeed transpire is some more serious presentations. Anne in The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea cried as she orgasmed; presumably from grief over her dead husband. After Ben (Dylan McDermott) masturbated in American Horror Story (2011–), he cried too. In the Australian film Five Moments of Infidelity (2006), Vicki (Amanda Douge) masturbated and also cried after her orgasm. Infidelity is a theme in both American Horror Story and Five Moments of Infidelity, so the characters could be crying because they feel guilty about their extramarital behavior (and, thus presumably, the source of their arousal). There is however, a more subtle interpretation that autoeroticism is simply not a solution for these characters much like the single mother masturbators discussed earlier; that the pleasure derived is fleeting and reflective of the idea that for some people guilt is felt afterwards–guilt which may in fact actually dilute any pleasure. Certainly this idea is detectable in academic research as well as in masturbation testimonials.[24]
In Jean Stengers and Anne Van Neck’s cultural history of masturbation, they quoted from an 1873 text denouncing masturbation on a variety of health grounds, identifying that “the most profound melancholy and hypochondria overcome [the masturbator].”[25] In Meagher’s research he also argued that “no healthy ethical adult could possibly indulge in habitual masturbation without suffering mental distress, and experiencing a lowering of his self-respect,”[26] and “the average patient of good moral tone is very apt to have these painful states accentuated as the result of masturbation.”[27] In Paul Adcock’s sex manual, he presented a similar argument, describing masturbation as “loveless escapism, which ultimately leads to unhappiness, lessening life’s natural highs.”[28] van Driel quoted research indicating that 20 percent of both men and women claimed to feel guilty after masturbating. In Hite’s work, masturbatory unhappiness—connected to guilt—was also readily identifiable. One woman, for example, claimed, “When I masturbate I psychologically feel guilty or disgusted with myself.”[29] A teenage girl in psychologist Deborah Tolman’s research expressed similar sentiments, “Sometimes I stop myself from masturbating, but usually not. You just kinda, I just kinda struggle with that, you know, I mean, you feel guilty but, so what?”[30] Martha Cornog in her book on masturbation also discussed guilt and noted that while no research has been done to explain the why of it, proposed some possible explanations. Historically, Cornog suggested, it may have centered on fears of ruined bodies and minds (chapter 1), however today, she suspects that fears around unfuckability play a part:
[P]eople may feel guilty about masturbating because they define sex as “partner sex” and think they should be doing that instead of masturbating, but they feel they are not able to attract partners or fortunate enough to have a partner interested in more frequent sex.[31]
This certainly relates back to the comment made by the woman in Hite’s study quoted earlier whose guilt centered on feeling like she should have a man to have sex with.
While the lack of satisfaction reaped from masturbation might be explained by our culture’s fervent belief that masturbation is not real sex, the situation nevertheless is that for many people masturbation actually isn’t a fulfilling sexual experience and thus will always be construed as a kind of second-class substitute.[32]
Another reading for the tears of Ben in American Horror Story and Vicki in Five Moments of Infidelity is that even though the characters felt bad afterwards, that they still masturbated—like the guilt-ridden Catholic boys discussed in chapter 1—highlighting that such behavior can in fact also be interpreted as part of a binge and purge strategy.
In my book Part-Time Perverts: Sex, Pop Culture and Kink Management I examined how sometimes people indulge in certain perverse sexual behaviors and then later feel guilty and remorseful:
Those perverts who feel guilt or shame regarding their behavior may engage in a management strategy of bingeing and purging, which combines physically acting on their perversions and then attempting a detox. . . . In such circumstances, the pervert will participate, feel disgusted with his/her behavior, pretend that the participation never happened, and the cycle continues.[33]
Other authors also reference this idea, notably in relation to masturbation. Quoted earlier was a woman in Hite’s research who masturbated and then tried to forget.[34] An adolescent in psychologist Les Parrott’s work claimed “Every time after I masturbate I pray and promise God that I will never do it again.”[35] Parrott also quoted therapist Mary Ann Mayo who similarly noted, “I have seen people invest forty-eight hours of self-wallowing condemnation and guilt as a result of four minutes of self-indulgent pleasure.”[36] In his Christian self-help book They Shall Expel Demons, Derek Prince also alluded to the binge and purge themes:
I simply know there are thousands of people, both men and women, who masturbate and then hate themselves for doing it. Each time they say, “Never again!” But it happens again. They are enslaved.[37]
Masturbation writer Betty Dodson even documented her own binge and purge experience in her masturbation book Sex for One:
[M]y horniness spilled over into a private one-week orgy of drawing my sexual fantasies, getting turned on, and masturbating way beyond the point of going blind. . . . Overwhelmed with guilt at my hedonistic debauchery, I destroyed the drawings.[38]
While the binge/purge idea is certainly a viable interpretation of the American Horror Story and Five Moments of Infidelity scenes—as well as those comic scenes in Peep Show, Two and a Half Men and Waiting . . . discussed earlier whereby the funniness can be interpreted as linked to binge and purge behavior as well as gallows humor—binge and purge themes are identifiable in many other examples. In an episode of the British series Misfits (2009–), Nathan (Curtis Donovan) explained his “wank sock” to Kelly (Lauren Socha): “You’re lying there, you’re feeling cheap and deflated, there’s a pool of rapidly cooling spunk on your stomach. You’re looking for something to mop up with. Oh hello, what’s this?” While Nathan can be interpreted as being hyperbolic, nevertheless, masturbation is presented as something worth feeling deflated about afterwards and that tell-tale signs of it need to be quickly hidden away in a kind of purge. In the romantic-comedy Dedication (2007), Carol (Dianne Wiest) found her daughter Lucy’s (Mandy Moore) vibrator hidden in the freezer. While we don’t quite know why Lucy kept her vibrator there, one explanation is because after orgasm she hid it away, not wanting to be reminded of her solo-sex life. This might similarly be a reason why Janey (Chyler Leigh) in the comedy Not Another Teen Movie (2001) stored her vibrator inside a sock and why Audrey (Baelyn Nett) stored hers inside her teddy bear in the comedy I-See-You.com (2006). A more explicit example of masturbatory bingeing and purging transpired in the French drama Ma Mère (My Mother) (2004). Teenager Pierre (Louis Garrel) found a closet full of his deceased father’s porn. He masturbated to it and then urinated over the magazines. While Pierre’s urination can be construed in a variety of different ways, the idea that he was deliberately destroying the trigger of his arousal—that he was purging the impact they had on him—is worth spotlighting. The sex addict Neil (Josh Gad) in Thanks for Sharing (2013) did the very same thing: after he fell off the abstinence wagon he masturbated and then burnt all of his porn. The sex and masturbation addicts in Control Alt Delete and Nymphomaniac (2013) also had moments of purging the accoutrements associated with their addictions.
Mentioned several times in this chapter is Allen in Happiness. During one of his nuisance calls to neighbor Helen (Lara Flynn Boyle), he sneered, “I am going to fuck you so bad you’re gonna be coming out of your ears.” In each of his scenes, Allen was portrayed as a sexually aggressive man whose impulses were channelled into his masturbatory life. This idea of masturbation as a substitute for perverse sexual acts is identifiable both on screen and off.
In a scene from Weeds, after Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) discovered that her son Shane (Alexander Gould) had been masturbating over a photo of her, she gently reprimanded him saying, “It’s a little quirky to masturbate to pictures of your mother, to have this sexual kind of relationship or connection or hook-up or stand in for your mother.” In this scene Nancy implied that Shane’s masturbation functioned as a kind of “stand in” or substitute; that Shane was looking at the photos because he wanted to have sex with her and that masturbating to them was a stand-in. This idea of masturbation substituting for perverse sex acts—in the Weeds example as a substitute for incest—is readily identifiable on screen.
At the gentler end of the spectrum is a scene from the British series Love in the 21st Century (1999). After Amanda (Natasha Little) had walked in on her boyfriend Jack (Ioan Gruffudd) masturbating, she recounted the incident to her friend Claire (Susan Vidler):
Amanda: You should have seen the magazine he was using.
Claire: [laughing] Oh, I’m sorry. Well, but, just, that people do that, don’t they? I mean, we—
Amanda: Not if you’re getting the sex you want.
Claire: And isn’t he?
Amanda: Yes, he is.
This idea of the sex you want is an interesting one. One of my key contentions in Part-Time Perverts was that just because a person has a fantasy about a non-mainstream sexual activity doesn’t mean that they actually want to act on it:
[I]n some circumstances an individual will fantasize about a certain perversion—perhaps incest or pedophilia or bestiality—and then will actually act on the fantasy. For others, their fantasy will manifest in substitution and another activity will sate the original fantasy.[39]
While we don’t know enough about Amanda and Jack’s relationship to determine whether both of their sexual needs were being fulfilled, Jack nevertheless used masturbation as an outlet to explore aspects of his sexuality that he was not pursuing with Amanda; this might be because she is not interested, because he is not interested, or because he simply prefers to restrict his participation to fantasy. A man quoted in Levine and Barbach’s research articulated this same idea:
I might fantasize about the things that I wonder about, or things I would like to try, that Candy and I have not made a regular part of our sexual practice, like rear entry or anal sex. Thinking about those things turns me on.[40]
In some cases a perverse sexual fantasy stimulates a person to masturbate and then in fact quashes any yearnings for actual participation.
In Happiness, towards the end of the film and after his father Bill’s (Dylan Baker) pedophilia was exposed, Billy (Rufus Read) asked his father, “Would you ever fuck me?” Bill (Dylan Baker) stoically responded, “No, I’d masturbate instead.” In the suburban-drama Little Children (2006), Ronnie (Jackie Earle Haley)—who was on the sex offender list after being charged with indecent exposure—similarly channelled his impulses into masturbation: in one scene he did so while parked outside a school playground. In a scene from Nip/Tuck, Sean masturbated aggressively into a sex doll, partaking of a kind of “sex” that he might have fantasized about but would never act on in real life. This masturbation-as-coping-mechanism is also readily identifiable in academic work. Stekel discussed a case of a man who masturbated to violent images and explained the role that self-stimulation played in his coping:
In this sense masturbation plays an important social role. It serves to a certain extent as a defence, protecting society against the unhappy persons possessing overstressed instinctive cravings or insufficient ethical inhibitions. If masturbation were wholly repressed, the number of crimes against morals would become unbelievably large. On the other hand masturbation also protects certain masturbators against the commission of crimes. The masturbator stages his crimes only in his phantasy and remains socially inoffensive. Thus, auto-erotism, an asocial act, becomes a social necessity.[41]
Psychologists Terry Trepper and Mary Jo Barrett similarly discussed the role of fantasies in actually inhibiting inappropriate sexual behavior in their work on incest: “the ability to use a fantasy to prevent it from becoming a behavior is a coping mechanism for many people (virtually everyone has sexual fantasies that they would never put into practice).”[42] A pedophile quoted in Ethel Quayle and Max Taylor’s work on child pornography alluded to this same issue in the context of tempering abuse:
[O]ur main aim in collecting the child pornography is that we weren’t involved with kids . . . it was helping . . . I didn’t feel the urge as strongly as I do now to try and start something with a child . . . when I was on-line with the child porn . . . because when I felt that urge I’d look at the porn child I’d masturbate or I’d read the stories more often and masturbate . . . and it was under control.[43]
Masturbation therefore, can be a way to experience a fantasy without acting on it. The rationale behind not wanting to physically act on it of course, is worth exploring. In Part-Time Perverts I discussed possible reasons why a fantasy might only ever get masturbated over:
Some perverts however, may choose such substitutions simply because they are all that are available: obtaining the children, or animals, or props required to fulfil a fantasy might be difficult, expensive, dangerous, messy, or even completely impossible and thus a [substitution] strategy may be employed for convenience.[44]
For Shane in Weeds, Bill in Happiness and Ronnie in Little Children, actual participation in their incestuous and pedophilic fantasies would be illegal and thus, masturbation forms part of a fantasy management strategy. Of course, rationales are invariably complex. In Hite’s work, she quoted a woman who explained her own reasons for autoeroticism noting that it: “preserves human dignity vis-a-vis other people.”[45] The idea that there is something undignified about using someone else for your own sexual gratification—that masturbating can in fact spare a loved one possible humiliation—is another explanation for substitution and one certainly relevant to Happiness where Bill’s parental love appeared to outweigh his desire to have sex with his son. This idea of masturbation as a kind of community service is identifiable in several academic discussions. Philosopher Alan Soble for example, noted:
A man pleasing himself by masturbating is not taking advantage of economically and socially less powerful women. He is, instead, flouting cultural standards of masculinity that instruct him that only wimps jerk off, and he must perform sexually with women to be a real man.[46]
Sexologist Albert Ellis made similar points, noting that masturbation “interferes not a whit with the sex rights or desires of others . . . ”[47] Sol Gordon in his self-help book also mentioned this issue:
If you have an impulse to hurt or exploit someone or yourself in a sexual way, masturbate instead (privately, creatively, and with lubrication, if you feel like it), and you’ll be surprised how your impulse will disappear.[48]
Even outside of fantasies about illegal sexual behavior, masturbation is often used to substitute for acts that would simply be difficult for one’s lifestyle: for example to avoid infidelity which might have disastrous effects on a relationship.
Discussed earlier was Jack’s masturbation in Love in the 21st Century. In this scene he divulged to his girlfriend that his masturbation fantasies involved sex with their female friends. While it was not articulated in the narrative, one explanation is that Jack masturbated to thoughts about these women because doing so was a safer, less ruinous way to reap pleasure from the idea of cheating without following through. This same idea was apparent in American Beauty: Lester masturbated while thinking about his teenage daughter’s best friend, Angela (Mena Suvari). Acting on his impulses would have been problematic for his marriage—if not also disastrous for his relationship with his daughter—so instead, he self-stimulated. This also played out in American Horror Story: Ben was a recovering adulterer and was only just mending things with his wife Vivien (Connie Britton). When Ben saw his young maid Moira (Alexandra Breckenridge) masturbating—while dressed in sexy maid attire—she was tempting him forward, seemingly urging him to commit infidelity one more time. Knowing that succumbing would destroy his marriage, Ben retreated to his room to masturbate instead. In Little Children, Richard (Gregg Edelman) engaged in cybersex; one interpretation for this was that he construed that it would be less harmful on his marriage than physical infidelity.[49]
The use of masturbation to substitute for infidelity on screen certainly relates to how some people masturbate in real life. In Levine and Garfield’s research, a man referenced these ideas in his explanations for his self-stimulation:
Even though I love my wife I still get turned on to other women. But I’m not willing to act on that because it might seriously jeopardize my marriage. In those situations, my solution is to fantasize and masturbate instead.[50]
Another man made a similar point: “That’s what’s neat about fantasy and masturbating, you can have all that and not jeopardize anything.”[51] In Stekel’s work, he similarly identified masturbation as a way for a man with homosexual tendencies to remain in a marriage:
A homosexual may marry and have children and yet remain ungratified, because he does not meet the form of gratification which alone would provide adequate in his case. Occasionally he breaks down under the burden of an anxiety neurosis and that disappears when he finds in the exercise of fairly active masturbation a substitute.[52]
Other research also documents masturbation as a substitution for intercourse on the basis of its advantages of not being procreative or disease-spreading[53] (addressed further in chapter 9).
Thus far I have discussed substitution centered on masturbation in place of intercourse when the latter is unavailable or inaccessible. For the remainder of this chapter I focus on masturbation as a conscious choice: that sex might actually be available but that masturbation is still chosen as a substitute because it is considered preferable.
The title of Dodson’s autoeroticism tome, Sex for One, gives a clue to her contention that masturbation is just as much sex as intercourse:
Masturbation is a primary form of sexual expression. It’s not just for kids or for those in-between lovers or for old people who end up alone. Masturbation is the ongoing love affair that each of us has with ourselves throughout our lifetime.[54]
The next time someone asks, “When was the first time you had sex?” the appropriate response would be your first memory of masturbation, not the first time you had partnersex.[55]
While masturbation does occasionally get portrayed as a liberating and sex-positive act (chapter 9), more common is its presentation as intercourse’s more pitiful cousin: that it is what people who are unable to get a real partner—and have real sex—settle for. While, as focused on in this chapter, this perception is advanced throughout popular culture, it is also one made explicit in some writings where not only is the substitution appeal focused on, but specific note is made of it being lackluster. Psychiatrist Thomas Hora, for example, considered that compared to intercourse, masturbation was “unhealthy and inauthentic.”[56] In physician Joan Malleson’s 1952 work on sexuality, she wrote, “Normal unmarried people are well aware that masturbation is a poor substitute for the fulfilment expected in the future.”[57] Discussing East German writings on masturbation from the 1950s, sex researcher Dagmar Herzog noted, “Girls were warned that they would have trouble transitioning from clitoral stimulation to vaginal sensation during intercourse, while boys were informed that ‘masturbation is a pitiful substitute for real love.’”[58] In historian Thomas Laqueur’s book Solitary Sex he discussed nineteenth century opinions on masturbation noting that, “Masturbatory pleasure was dangerous because it was a sham version of real pleasure: virtual-reality orgasm we might say. It partook of the wickedness of subterfuge, fraud, fakery, the very opposite of natural transparency.”[59] In the substitution examples discussed in this chapter, masturbation is not presented as a direct swap, but rather as a concession prize.
The examples discussed in the sections that follow focus on scenes that subvert the ideas of masturbation as second-class and instead present self-stimulation as an activity with distinct advantages over intercourse.
Thus far in this chapter I have discussed masturbation as substituting for sex with another person. In most examples examined, the undercurrent has been that, for whatever reason, partnered sex with someone else is better. In this section I discuss masturbation as a different kind of substitution: that participation isn’t so much because of a character’s inability to procure a partner, but rather because a masturbator knows how best to stimulate themselves and thus they prefer autoeroticism because it is more pleasurable.
In the romantic-comedy Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008), Miri remarked, “I’ve never met a man who can make me come like a vibrator does.” In the romantic-comedy Men with Brooms (2002), Chris (Paul Gross) lamented the demise of a local hardware store and said, “That hardware store was unique,” to which Amy (Molly Parker) countered, “So was my husband. I’m still glad they came up with vibrators.” In the series Love Bites (2011), Carter (Kyle Howard) arrived home to hear his fiancé Liz (Lindsay Price) moaning to discover that not only was she using a vibrator, but that she was having her first real orgasm. In The Slums of Beverly Hills, Vivian (Natasha Lyonne) masturbated and in a later scene had intercourse for the first time. Vivian’s masturbation was pleasurable and orgasmic; her intercourse conversely was depicted as perfunctory. In the comedy-drama The Oh in Ohio (2006), Priscilla (Parker Posey) was unable to orgasm with her husband. Once she obtained a vibrator however, she became orgasmic. In the drama Claire Dolan (1998), the advantages of masturbation over sex were demonstrated when the title character (Katrin Cartlidge) masturbated while being penetrated from behind by a client; his technique seemed not to work, her ministrations however, were comparatively more satisfying. In a scene from Nip/Tuck, after Julia (Joely Richardson) faked an orgasm with her husband Sean, she lay in the marital bed masturbating while he showered. Something similar transpired in the drama Autoerotic (2011): after intercourse where she didn’t orgasm, the unnamed Kris Swanberg character lay in bed masturbating. These scenes each portray the pleasure women reap from masturbation as being preferable to the sexual stylings of men.
In a scene from The 40 Year Old Virgin, Beth (Elizabeth Banks) referred to her showerhead as her “friend” and said, “This guy knows exactly what I like.” In this scene Beth—like the female characters in Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Men With Brooms, The Slums of Beverly Hills, Love Bites, The Oh in Ohio and Autoerotic—identified that masturbation guarantees pleasure.
This idea of masturbation—unlike intercourse—being an almost certain route to orgasm for women, is identifiable in a variety of writings. Jonathan Light in The Art of Porn for example, noted, “Studies by Masters and Johnson revealed that masturbation produces more intense orgasms than with sex partners.”[60] A woman in Hite’s research agreed: “It’s more intense alone.”[61] Certainly these ideas are a useful way to interpret scenes where women choose masturbation: that the choice centers on pleasure.
Another explanation for women’s autoerotic preference—or at least, their greater likelihood for orgasm this way—is connected to some of the ideas discussed in chapter 1 whereby masturbation is assumed to render a person sexually maladjusted. van Driel for example, quoted a female friend: “If my husband could screw the way he can chat, my vibrator’s batteries wouldn’t be flat.”[62] This comment not only references the pleasure advantages of masturbation but provides a way to interpret the aforementioned scenes: as referencing the shortcomings of men.[63] The idea of men not lasting, and in turn being unable to satisfy a woman, is a way to justify the need for masturbation in a narrative as well as a means to emasculate the man. While Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Men With Brooms and Love Bites each presented this idea relatively subtly, a much more explicit example transpired in the drama Wasted (2002). In one scene, Samantha (Summer Phoenix) remarked, “Owen [Aaron Paul] keeps calling me. You know what? I’m gonna put my phone on vibrate—it’ll be the most pleasure he’s ever given me.” The same idea was presented with similar bluntness in the comedy-horror film Cherry Falls (2000). The premise of the film was that virgins in the town were being murdered. To combat this, there was encouragement for early virginity loss. In a scene where older girls were helping prepare younger girls, one young girl asked whether she would orgasm her first time and an older girl informed her, “Unless we’re talking about masturbation, forget it.” In both examples, men’s inability to sexually pleasure a woman was used to mock, if not emasculate. While having control over their orgasms is a positive thing (chapter 9), when male partners are part of a narrative, female masturbation scenes work to spotlight men’s sexual incompetence and in turn—in a world that connects masculinity with sexual prowess—render them less so.
Quoted earlier was Herzog’s work on 1950s fears of clitoral dependency. Michael Melody and Linda Peterson in their book on sexuality also discussed this issue drawing from 1940s sex education manual: “The woman who masturbates, so the story goes, runs the risk of becoming excited only through stimulation of the clitoris.”[64] Psychologist Marta Suplicy also made this point as related to contemporary concerns with masturbation: “Today it is common to hear that the woman who masturbates will be impaired from having orgasm in sexual relations, since she has become ‘addicted’”[65] Theologian Thomas Gross also addressed this issue in his self-published book Sex, Marriage, Gays & God:
As a pastor I have counselled individuals, for example, who although they were married, could not engage sexually with their wives, but preferred to masturbate instead. Their behavior came from conditioning by habit of practice.[66]
These authors each suggest that becoming dependant on clitoral stimulation is a bad thing. (That clitoral pleasure is presented as problematic, is of course, a subtle way to demonize autoeroticism and advance the normalcy of vaginal intercourse.)
In chapter 2, I briefly discussed the idea of group masturbation being construed as a way to overcome sexual insecurities. With this in mind, a final suggestion for interpreting women’s preference for masturbation relates to their reluctance to ask men for what they want sexually: that instead of requesting certain things, they choose to simply handle things themselves; as a woman in Hite’s work explained, “Masturbation is the only way I can come without embarrassment and self-consciousness and ‘trying to succeed’ for my partner’s sake”[67] On screen and the idea of characters using masturbation as a way to feel pleasure on their own and as disconnected from the demands, impatience or intimidation of a partner are identifiable. In Nip/Tuck discussed earlier, Julia didn’t want to tell Sean that he wasn’t succeeding in helping her orgasm, so she simply elected to masturbate. In a scene from the Canadian romantic-comedy Year of the Carnivore (2009), the sexually inexperienced Sammy (Cristin Milioti)—who had been told by a lover that she was bad in bed—used a vibrator to improve her sexual functioning. This was a way for her to “practice” sex as separate from a partner. The same thing transpired in The Oh in Ohio: for Priscilla, orgasm wasn’t possible with her husband; it was however, achievable on her own.[68]
While generally not articulated as explicitly as in the aforementioned examples, the screen also offers examples of men preferring masturbation to intercourse. Because men are assumed to always be willing and able to have sex, for the man who chooses masturbation, invariably he is presented as somehow flawed or broken. In an episode of Homeland (2011–), former prisoner of war Brody (Damian Lewis) attempted to adjust to life at home with his wife, Jessica (Morena Baccarin). In a scene where Jessica initiated sex, Brody asked her to take off her blouse. She did and Brody began to masturbate. Jessica said, “let me,” but Brody countered, “no, it’s better if you don’t.” In a scene from the comedy-drama Don Jon (2013), the title character (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) left his girlfriend alone in bed to go and watch porn. In the comedy Your Friends and Neighbors (1998), an even more explicit version of this idea transpired when Barry (Aaron Eckhart) proclaimed, “I’m telling you, nobody makes me come the way I do” and “Nobody gives me more pleasure than I give myself . . . I’m my best lay.”[69] In an episode of the sitcom Married with Children, Bud’s (David Faustino) participation in a virtual reality experiment led to him preferring to experience sexual pleasure on his own through the program rather than with a real woman when the opportunity arose. As Bud explained to his sister Kelly (Christina Applegate): “Look, Kelly, I don’t need Amber, I have her. Dr. Kessler introduced me to cybersex and I can create Amber anytime I want. . . . She does what I want, whenever I want it.” Some subtler examples also transpired in Six Feet Under (2001–2005), Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000–) and The Big Bang Theory. In Six Feet Under, Nate (Peter Krause) delayed returning home to his wife Lisa (Lili Taylor) by pulling over in his car and masturbating. In Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry (Larry David) bumped into an ex-girlfriend in the afternoon, and later that evening—when his wife initiated sex—he couldn’t perform: he was “tapped out” because he had elected to masturbate earlier following his encounter with his ex. The same idea was presented, albeit comically, in an episode of The Big Bang Theory. Howard (Simon Helberg) lay in a bath masturbating and the following dialogue transpired between him and the object of his fantasy, actress Katee Sackhoff:
Howard: So nice you could join me this evening. You’re looking lovely as always.
Katee: Thanks, Howard. Always nice to be part of your masturbatory fantasies.
Howard: Come on, Katee, don’t make it sound so cheap.
Katee: I’m sorry, fiddling with yourself in the bathtub is a real class act.
Howard: Thank you. So, shall we get started?
Katee: Sure. But can I ask you a question first?
Howard: You want to play Cylon and colonist?
Katee: No. I want to know why you’re playing make-believe with me when you could be out with a real woman tonight.
Howard: You mean, Bernadette?
Katee: No, I mean Princess Leia. Of course I mean Bernadette. She’s a wonderful girl and she really likes you.
Howard: I know, but she’s not you.
Katee: I’m not me. The real me is in Beverly Hills going out with a tall, handsome, rich guy.
Howard: Really? Tall?
Katee: Six-four.
Howard: Ouch.
Katee: The point is, you’ve got a wonderful girl in your life, and you’re ignoring her in order to spend your nights in the bathtub with a mental image and a wash cloth.
In Homeland, Don Jon, Your Friends and Neighbors, Six Feet Under, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Married with Children, and The Big Bang Theory the men are each presented as damaged: Brody seemed to be suffering a kind of post-traumatic stress disorder, Don was a porn addict, Barry was a masturbation addict in a failing marriage, Nate was in an unhappy relationship, Larry was grossly neurotic, Bud was perpetually unsuccessful with girls, and Howard was a socially awkward mommy’s boy. In these examples, the preference for masturbation was framed as evidence of a problem—as a symptom—as opposed to a sensible choice; even for Barry who specifically articulated greater pleasure in masturbation, he was still framed as both damaged and grossly narcissistic.
Other explanations for men choosing masturbation are alluded to in psychotherapist Paula Hall’s work on sex addiction. Hall discussed Mike who, while in a relationship with a woman he loved, had stopped having sex with her because “she couldn’t compete with his online sex life.”[70] Psychotherapist Brett Kahr similarly discussed a patient, Mr. Grigoriev, who was no longer interested in sex with his wife: his focus was exclusively on gay porn and masturbation. Kahr also discussed Jared whose passion for porn was so strong that he was concerned that moving in with his girlfriend would encroach on his masturbation.[71] Psychologist Gary Brooks’ also discussed these ideas in his research on men and porn: “Some use these pictures to masturbate instead of having sex with their loved ones; some have sex with the fantasized women during sex with their loved ones.”[72] The Canadian romantic-comedy Love, Sex and Eating the Bones (2003) actually presented these ideas explicitly: when Michael (Hill Harper) and Jasmine (Marlyne Barrett) were about to have sex for the first time, Michael was unable to perform: his masturbatory life had rendered real sex more difficult; the same thing transpired in Don Jon. While these are modern portrayals which reference the addictive properties of Internet porn, they are still very traditional critiques of masturbation’s supposedly ruinous role in relationships.
In chapter 2, I introduced the idea of efficiency as related to men’s masturbation techniques: that fears of being caught inspired them to self-stimulate quickly to get the job done as fast as possible. On screen and women also sometimes allude to this idea. In an episode of Sex and the City for example, the friends were discussing masturbation; Samantha (Kim Cattrall) had just claimed to have been masturbating all afternoon and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) had responded, “Who’s got that kind of time? I like to get in and get out.” While Miranda didn’t provide enough information for audiences to know whether this is her attitude to sex generally or just to masturbation, it does allude to the idea that sometimes masturbation is about efficiency: that it is the quick way to get the job—the orgasm—accomplished.
The efficiency of vibrators is discussed in a variety of sex manuals: Gary Null and Barbara Seaman for example, noted that “the vibrator, as many of us know, is far more efficient than manual masturbation.”[73] The efficiency argument is also alluded to in women’s own discussions of their autoerotic habits. In Hite’s work, one woman for example, claimed, “A vibrator takes five to twenty minutes; with my hand, thirty minutes or longer.”[74] In his discussion of Japanese animated porn, Tamaki Saitō also briefly addressed the efficiency issue:
Pornography has everything to do with efficiency and nothing to do with eroticism. Eroticism introduces indirectness and mediation into sexuality and thereby makes it possible to maintain a refined distance from it. But the efficiency and directness of pornographic comics is at an infinite remove from that.[75]
Film theorist Jane Gaines also briefly mentioned the role of efficiency in masturbation, asking, “Is the most efficient orgasm the best orgasm? Is the bedroom really a place for a time-saving device? If so, what are we saving all this time for?”[76] While the end goal of masturbation rather than the process might not be a sexy way of thinking it, nevertheless, it acknowledges the importance, if not also necessity, of sexual pleasure and sexual relief and identifies that while there might be a time that for more self-loving-style masturbation (chapter 6) that sometimes the orgasm is the sole objective.
In my book Cheating on the Sisterhood: Infidelity and Feminism I discussed the concept of women choosing to “fuck like a man.” For a woman to prioritize speed, efficiency and orgasm, she is aligning herself with a sexuality more commonly associated with men. Interestingly, it is Miranda in Sex and the City who makes the comment about efficiency—the one character who is described as “the epitome of the ambitious liberal feminist career woman . . . [she] wears big, masculine business suits and wears her stark red hair in a blunt cut. In one scene, her suit comes with a masculine tie”[77] and “is the most male-dominated profession of the four women”[78]—is the one character wanting to get in and out (in the way that men are often expected to).
Masturbation deployed as a substitute for intercourse raises the concern of it becoming a permanent replacement. In American Pie for example, in a scene where Jim’s dad was explaining how normal masturbation was to his son, he hesitated and said, “You do want a partner, don’t you son?” As discussed extensively in chapter 2, masturbation is often construed as acceptable if doing so is only temporary and is a stop-gap measure. For a character to actively choose masturbation over other kinds of more “normal” sexual activity their behavior is construed as problematic. A good example of the downside of substitution occurred in Sex and the City when Charlotte (Kristin Davis) got her first Rabbit vibrator. Charlotte became so addicted to using it that she eventually became a shut-in, declining social invitations and barely leaving her bedroom. In response, her friends staged an intervention. On one hand this narrative can be read as a simple example of sex addiction, more relevant for this chapter however, is that it was the pleasure from masturbation that Charlotte became addicted to: that she found autoeroticism substantially more appealing than other activities.[79] Interestingly, within the narrative it was contended that Charlotte needed to be weaned off her vibrator in pursuit of a more “normal” sex life; less dwelled on however, was that for many women masturbation is more pleasurable than intercourse. Bad intercourse with men however, apparently, is still preferable to solo sex with a vibrator.
In the extreme—and an issue that Richard von Krafft-Ebing alluded to in 1896—is that masturbation can come to not merely substitute, but wholly replace coupled sex:
The glow of sensual sensibility wanes, and the inclination toward the opposite sex is weakened. This defect influences the morals, the character, fancy, feeling and manner of the youthful masturbator, male or female, in an unfavorable manner, even causing, under certain circumstances, the desire for the opposite sex to sink to nil.[80]
While on one hand, Krafft-Ebing’s research simply relates to the scare-mongering discussed in chapter 1 and the persistence of normalizing vaginal intercourse, it also serves as a precursor for some of the impacts that masturbation has on relationships, as discussed in chapter 8, and the harmony-disrupting consequences of one person in a couple choosing self-stimulation over partnered sex.
This chapter focused on masturbation as a substitution for intercourse, intimacy and perverse acts. In chapter 8 the role of masturbation inside of relationships is examined.
In Shere Hite, The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (New York: Seven Stories Press, 1981), 58.
In Shere Hite, The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (New York: Seven Stories Press, 1981), 61.
Betty Dodson discussed this idea as related to her own youthful masturbation: “Someday we would get married and live happily ever after . . . while I was waiting, I was secretly enjoying orgasms with myself” (Betty Dodson, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (New York: Crown Trade Paperbacks, 1996, 11).
In Linda Levine and Lonnie Garfield Barbach, The Intimate Male: Candid Discussions About Women, Sex, and Relationships (Gretna, LA: Wellness Institute Inc. 1983), 91.
Betty Dodson wrote about this idea briefly noting that often masturbatory needs are ignored and that the secrecy imperative (discussed further in chapter 5) exaggerates this: “My family, my friends, the world at large, and I pretended masturbation didn’t exist, and, therefore, the pleasure I experienced was not real. My sexuality did not exist until I found true love in partnersex” (Betty Dodson, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (New York: Crown Trade Paperbacks, 1996), 12).
A musical verison of this idea transpired in Jackson Browne’s song “Rosie” (1977) where the artist sings, “Looks like it’s me and you again tonight, Rosie,” lyrics which reference the common “Rosie Palms” euphemism for masturbation.
In William F. Kraft, Whole & Holy Sexuality: How to Find Human and Spiritual Integrity as a Sexual Person (St Meinrad, IN: Abbey Press, 1989), 105.
Mels van Driel, With the Hand: a Cultural History of Masturbation (London: Reaktion Books, 2012), 23.
The idea of masturbation being the refuge of the unfuckable was also alluded to via an emasculating jibe the sitcom The Big Bang Theory (2007–): Howard (Simon Helberg) claimed to be departing to have sex and Penny (Kaley Cuoco) teased, “His right hand is calling?” The same idea was also apparent in the comedy Euro Trip (2004) when Jamie (Travis Wester) said, “nobody touches my camera but me,” to which Cooper (Jacob Pitts) responded, “Sounds like your wiener.”
The fat guy masturbating archetype was also mentioned in the horror film 28 Weeks Later (2007).
This idea was subtly referred to in an episode of the sitcom Maude (1972–1978). Walter (Bill Macy) was lamenting turning fifty—and all that he had failed to achieve—to his friend Arthur (Conrad Bain). Walter asked, “Arthur, did you ever make love to a movie star?” To which Arthur responded, “No, not actually.” Arthur subtly implied that he had however, done so in his fantasies.
Jeffrey Sobal and Donna Maurer, Interpreting Weight: The Social Management of Fatness and Thinness (Hawthorne, NY: Aldine de Gruyter, 1999); Kathleen LeBesco, Revolting Bodies? The Struggle to Redefine Fat Identity (Amherst, MA: University of Massachusetts Press, 2004); Deborah Lupton, Fat (New York: Routledge, 2013).
Hephzibah Anderson, Chastened: No More Sex in the City (London: Chatto and Windus, 2009), 102.
Masturbation as a symptom of the loneliness of the single parent is a representation that does have some grounding in reality: writers, for example, frequently establish a link between sole-parenting and isolation (Marvin B. Sussman, Suzanne K. Steinmetz, Gary W. Peterson, Handbook of Marriage and the Family (New York: Plenum Press, 1999); Sandra P. Aldrich, From One Single Mother to Another (Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 2005); Jane Juffer, Single Mother: The Emergence of the Domestic Intellectual (New York: New York University Press, 2006)).
In Shere Hite, The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (New York: Steve Stories Press, 1981), 61.
John F. W. Meagher, The Study of Masturbation and the Psychosexual Life (London: Bailliére, Tindall and Cox, 1936), 77.
Wilhelm Stekel, Auto-Erotism: A Psychiatric Study of Masturbation and Neurosis (London: Peter Nevill Limited, 1953), 56.
Bernhard F. Hensel, “An Object Relations View of Sexuality Based on Fairbairn’s Theory,” The Legacy of Fairbairn and Sutherland: Psychotherapeutic Applications, eds. Jill Sevege Scharff and David E. Scharff (New York: Routledge, 2005), 70.
Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss, Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Sexual Motivation from Adventure to Revenge (London: Vintage, 2009), 251.
In Shere Hite, The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (New York: Seven Stories Press, 1981), 55.
In Shere Hite, The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (New York: Seven Stories Press, 1981), 58.
Mels van Driel, With the Hand: a Cultural History of Masturbation (London: Reaktion Books, 2012), 22.
Physician John Meagher discussed this issue explaining why “masturbation cannot be a satisfactory equivalent for coitus”: “Coitus is the fully developed biological method of expressing sexual impulses. It involves several elements. There is a somatic-chemical tension, the expression of the emotion of love, the spiritual value of the heterosexual partner in marriage. It is quite evident, if one will consider the physiology and psychology of the two acts, why” (John F. W. Meagher, The Study of Masturbation and the Psychosexual Life. London: Bailliére, Tindall and Cox, 1936, 105). A screen version of this explanation transpired in the comedy American Pie (1999) when Jim’s dad (Eugene Levy) says, “[Masturbation is] like banging a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it’s not a game. . . . What you want is a partner to return the ball.”
A different kind of post-masturbation crying transpired in an episode of the medical-drama Nip/Tuck (2003–2010). Manya (Aisha Tyler) was a Somalian model who had had a cliterodectomy and had not previously experienced an orgasm. After her reconstruction surgery she was able to have her first orgasm. She cried, although it was out of pleasure.
Jean Stengers and Anne Van Neck, Masturbation: The History of a Great Terror (New York: Palgrave, 2001), 2.
John F. W. Meagher, The Study of Masturbation and the Psychosexual Life (London: Bailliére, Tindall and Cox, 1936), 105–106.
John F. W. Meagher, The Study of Masturbation and the Psychosexual Life (London: Bailliére, Tindall and Cox, 1936), 76.
Paul Adcock, Jungle King Secrets: A Libido-Liberating Lifestyle for Superior Sexual Satisfaction (Ann Arbor, MI: Love Healing Press, 2007), 158.
In Shere Hite, The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (New York: Seven Stories Press, 1981), 58.
In Deborah L. Tolman, Dilemmas of Desire: Teenage Girls Talk About Sexuality (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2002) , 111.
Martha Cornog, The Big Book of Masturbation: From Angst to Zeal (San Francisco, CA: Down There Press, 2003), 78.
Sherman Butler, in his Christian-themed memoir, presented a faith-based explanation for the lack of fulfilment in masturbation: “Masturbation can be inspired by demonic forces and will lead you to do other things. That’s because masturbation will allow you to experience a level of sexual gratification, but it will never be completely fulfilling” (Sherman J. Butler, Sr., Deliverance: My Story, Your Victory (Matteson, IL: Life to Legacy LLC, 2011), 6).
Lauren Rosewarne, Part-Time Perverts: Sex, Pop Culture and Kink Management (Santa Barbara, CA: Praeger, 2011), 156.
In Shere Hite, The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (New York: Seven Stories Press, 1981), 57.
In Les Parrott III, Helping the Struggling Adolescent (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2000), 245.
In Les Parrott III, Helping the Struggling Adolescent (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2000), 245.
Derek Prince, They Shall Expel Demons: What You Need to Know about Demons—Your Invisible Enemies (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Publishing Group, 1998), 170.
Betty Dodson, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (New York: Crown Trade Paperbacks, 1996), 14.
Lauren Rosewarne, Part-Time Perverts: Sex, Pop Culture and Kink Management (Santa Barbara, CA: Praeger, 2011), 18.
In Linda Levine and Lonnie Garfield Barbach, The Intimate Male: Candid Discussions About Women, Sex, and Relationships (Gretna, LA: Wellness Institute Inc. 1983), 105.
Wilhelm Stekel, Auto-Erotism: A Psychiatric Study of Masturbation and Neurosis (London: Peter Nevill Limited, 1953), 53.
Terry Trepper and Mary Jo Barrett, Systemic Treatment of Incest: A Therapeutic Handbook (New York: Brunner-Routledge, 1989), 102.
In Ethel Quayle and Max Taylor, Child Pornography: An Internet Crime (New York: Routledge, 2003), 80.
Lauren Rosewarne, Part-Time Perverts: Sex, Pop Culture and Kink Management (Santa Barbara, CA: Praeger, 2011), 44.
In Shere Hite, The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (New York: Seven Stories Press, 1981), 64.
In Martha Cornog, The Big Book of Masturbation: From Angst to Zeal (San Francisco, CA: Down There Press, 2003), 158.
Albert Ellis, Sex and the Single Man (New York: Lyle Stuart, 1963), 26.
Sol Gordon, When Living Hurts (New York: Union of American Hebrew Congregations, 1985), 91.
This issue was also briefly alluded to in the romantic-comedy Jersey Girl (2004). Maya (Liv Tyler), worked at the local video store where Ollie (Ben Affleck) rented his porn. In one scene she attempted to seduce him, arguing a case that actual sex was no more of a betrayal than masturbation: “You rent porn and touch yourself, right?. . . lf you’re not sweating how your wife would feel about you and porn, then you shouldn’t sweat what I’m proposing ‘cause it’s the same thing. Only somebody else is doing the touching and you’re saving a $2 rental fee. Come on, stud. Man cannot live on porn alone.”
In Linda Levine and Lonnie Garfield Barbach, The Intimate Male: Candid Discussions About Women, Sex, and Relationships (Gretna, LA: Wellness Institute Inc. 1983), 92.
In Linda Levine and Lonnie Garfield Barbach, The Intimate Male: Candid Discussions About Women, Sex, and Relationships (Gretna, LA: Wellness Institute Inc. 1983), 92.
Wilhelm Stekel, Auto-Erotism: A Psychiatric Study of Masturbation and Neurosis (London: Peter Nevill Limited, 1953), 56.
Martha Cornog, The Big Book of Masturbation: From Angst to Zeal (San Francisco, CA: Down There Press, 2003).
Betty Dodson, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (New York: Crown Trade Paperbacks, 1996), 3.
Betty Dodson, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (New York: Crown Trade Paperbacks, 1996), 6.
In Vincent J. Genovesi, In Pursuit of Love: Catholic Morality and Human Sexuality (Wilmington, DE: M Glazier, 1987), 317.
Joan Malleson, Any Wife, or Any Husband: Toward a Better Understanding of Sex in Marriage (New York: Random House, 1952), 140.
Dagmar Herzog, “East Germany’s Sexual Evolution,” Socialist Modern: East German Everyday Culture and Politics, eds. Katherine Pence and Paul Betts (Ann Arbor, MI: University of Michigan Press, 2008): 71–95, 78.
Thomas W. Laqueur, Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation (New York: Zone Books, 2003), 220.
Jonathan Light, The Art of Porn (New York: Light Publishing, 2002), 3.
In Shere Hite, The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (New York: Seven Stories Press, 1981), 54.
Mels van Driel, With the Hand: a Cultural History of Masturbation (London: Reaktion Books, 2012), 60.
A line attributed to Mae West highlighted this idea: “Good sex is like good Bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand” (In Aaron Ben-Zeʼev, Love Online: Emotions on the Internet (New York: Cambridge University Press, 2004), 216).
Michael E. Melody and Linda M. Peterson, Teaching America About Sex (New York: New York University Press, 1999), 132.
In Richard G. Parker, Bodies, Pleasures, and Passions: Sexual Culture in Contemporary Brazil (Nashville, TN: Vanderbilt University Press, 2009), 102.
Thomas Gross, Sex, Marriage, Gays & God (Wheaton, IL: Xulon, 1996), 240.
In Shere Hite, The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (New York: Seven Stories Press, 1981), 64.
In his discussion of the masturbation scene in Black Swan (2010), film theorist Douglas Keesey noted, such scenes “are validated as moments of sexual self-discovery for a young woman” (Douglas Keesey, Contemporary Erotic Cinema (London: Kamera Books, 2012), 11).
The same theme is identifiable in the Barenaked Ladies song “Only Me” (2001), about the choice of sex with the self.
Paula Hall, Understanding and Treating Sex Addiction (New York: Routledge, 2013), 41.
Brett Kahr, Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head? (New York: Basic Books, 2007).
Gary R. Brooks, The Centerfold Syndrome: How Men Can Overcome Objectification and Achieve Intimacy with Women (San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1995), 114.
Gary Null and Barbara Seaman, For Women Only! Your Guide to Health Empowerment (Toronto: Hushion House, 1999), 680.
In Shere Hite, The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (New York: Seven Stories Press, 1981), 56.
Tamaki Saitō, Beautiful Fighting Girl. Translated by J. Keith Vincent and Dawn Lawson (Minneapolis, MN: University of Minnesota Press, 2011), 33.
In Jane Gaines, “Machines That Make the Body Do Things,” More Dirty Looks: Gender, Pornography and Power, ed. Pamela Church Gibson (London: British Film Institute, 2004), 32–34.
Deborah A. Macey, “Ancient Archetypes in Modern Media,” Media Depictions of Brides, Wives, and Mothers, ed. Alena Amato Ruggerio (Lanham, MD: Lexington Books, 2012): 49–62, 55–56.
Amy Sohn and Sarah Wildman, Sex and the City: Kiss and Tell (New York: Melcher Media, 2002), 85.
A film called Rabbit Fever (2006) was a mockumentary about six women who get addicted to using the famous rabbit vibrator.
In Martha Cornog, The Big Book of Masturbation: From Angst to Zeal (San Francisco, CA: Down There Press, 2003), 121.