Over one hundred scenes from film and television were referenced in chapter 1 and a theme identifiable in many was adolescence: that masturbation is frequently portrayed as a young person’s pastime. This chapter focuses on the role of age in masturbation narratives. From the young masturbating slacker stereotype to the humiliating caught-masturbating narrative, this chapter examines attitudes and anxieties about autoeroticism and age as apparent on screen.
In an episode of the sitcom Modern Family (2009–), parents Jay (Ed O’Neill) and Gloria (Sofía Vergara) readily assumed that their son Manny (Rico Rodriguez) spent so much time locked away in his bedroom because he was masturbating. The same idea was apparent in an episode of the animated series Family Guy (1999–): grandmother Francis reprimanded her grandson Chris for spending so long in the bathroom; her assumption was that he was masturbating. While in both examples the suspicions were unfounded—Manny had been trying to make himself taller using a stretching device and Chris was defecating—these examples showcase a common screen truism: that young men routinely spend excessive time locked away self-stimulating. In the period-drama The Ice Storm (1997), this assumption was explicitly articulated by Ben (Kevin Kline) when he instructed his adolescent son Paul (Tobey Maguire) not to masturbate in the shower, “because we all expect you to be doing it there in any case.” The assumptions made by older relatives in these scenes materialize in several examples where young characters do in fact spend spans of time masturbating.
In an episode of the animated series Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–), the adolescent title characters were frequently shown as either masturbating or talking about it. In one episode they were given a Rorschach inkblot test by a school psychiatrist. Exhibiting the boys’ obsession, the two claimed that every image depicted masturbation. The teen-comedy Weird Science (1985) centered on two nerdy high school students, Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith), who created the perfect woman on their computer. The woman came alive and they named her Lisa (Kelly LeBrock). In one scene excessive bathroom masturbation was mentioned when Lisa—with all the tactlessness of a robot—asked Gary’s mother (Barbara Lang), “Have you ever wondered how sad it is, that your son’s only sexual outlet is tossing off to magazines in the bathroom?” In an episode of the sitcom Roseanne (1988–1997), daughter Darlene (Sara Gilbert) informed her parents that her younger brother, DJ (Michael Fishman), was locked away in the family bathroom masturbating: “it’s like the third time today.” This same idea transpired in the family-drama series Parenthood (2010–): Amber (Mae Whitman) complained to her mother, Sarah (Lauren Graham), about not being able to use the bathroom because her brother, Drew (Miles Heizer), was always in there. Drew was later confronted by his grandfather (Craig T. Nelson) about the excessive time he spent masturbating under the shower. In the sitcom My Wife and Kids (2001–2005), adolescent Michael Jr.’s (George O. Gore II) lengthy bathroom stints also became a plot point: in one episode Michael Jr.’s mother, Jay (Tisha Campbell-Martin), urged her husband Michael (Damon Wayans) to talk to their son about “moderation.” While adolescent Shane’s (Alexander Gould) masturbation in the sitcom Weeds (2005-2012) didn’t transpire in the bathroom, the bathroom nevertheless exposed his activities: the plumbing got blocked after he had flushed numerous socks.
In chapter 1 I discussed the screen’s routine demonization of masturbation where the behavior is presented as variously heinous. In the examples discussed above, the negative frame was in fact largely eschewed: in each scene masturbation was presented as normal, in line with the modern position. While the bathroom masturbation in Roseanne, My Wife and Kids and Parenthood was presented as humorously irritating for the other characters who, for example, wanted entrance, and in Weeds the behavior was causing expensive plumbing problems, the presentations were less about demonization and more so about the predictable (and seemingly funny) horniness of young men. In Parenthood, this idea was actually articulated by Sarah when she instructed Amber not to give Drew a hard time because boys have “needs.” The horny teenager is detectable throughout popular culture and is a presentation that is notably gendered: while examples do exist of young women masturbating (Not Another Teen Movie (2001), Få meg på, for faen (Turn Me On, Dammit!) (2001), Melissa P. (2005), Extreme Movie (2008), Gossip Girl (2007–2012) and Stoker (2013)), young girls’ engagement is rarely presented as compulsive or problematic. While arguably the horny teenage boy archetype is included in a narrative because he is an easy construct to laugh at in a culture already uncomfortable with autoeroticism, he is also a caricature with a grounding in reality: adolescence is a time of raging hormones (read: perceived sexual needs), masturbation is a commonly deployed solution and research indicates that young boys do masturbate more than girls.[1]
While masturbation is invariably a private activity, an obvious way it becomes public is through exposure: the act frequently enters narratives because characters—invariably males—get caught doing it. A caught-masturbating narrative highlights a variety of adolescent anxieties, notably a lack of privacy and fears of embarrassment.
While there are many examples of adults getting caught masturbating (e.g., in Seinfeld (1989–1998), Love, Sex and Eating the Bones (2003), Little Children (2006), You, Me and Dupree (2006), Californication (2007–), Hall Pass (2011), Shame (2011) and Don Jon (2013), each discussed in chapter 1), on screen and the getting sprung narrative most commonly involves teenagers. Teenagers are more likely to be sharing their living space with other people and are simply more likely to be masturbating (out of horniness as well as more leisure time) in turn increasing their chances of being caught.
In an episode of the sitcom The New Adventures of Old Christine (2006–2010), Daniel (Blair Underwood) revealed having been caught masturbating as a kid by his mother. The same thing transpired in the Mexican thriller El quinto mandamiento (The Fifth Commandment) (2012). In the British comedy Human Traffic (1999), Moff (Danny Dyer) was masturbating in his bedroom when his mother walked in. In an episode of The Big C (2010–2013), Cathy (Laura Linney) walked in on her son Adam (Gabriel Basso). In the series John From Cincinnati (2007), a flashback scene showed Cissy (Rebecca De Mornay) walking in on her son Butchie (Brian Van Holt). In the British teen-comedy The Inbetweeners Movie (2011), Jay (James Buckley) was masturbating in his bedroom when he was interrupted by his mother and sister. In an episode of The Inbetweeners (2008–2010) television series, Jay was interrupted masturbating while volunteering in a nursing home. In the teen-comedy American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006), Erik (John White) was masturbating when his parents and grandmother sprung him. In another teen-comedy, Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982), high school senior Brad (Judge Reinhold) was masturbating in the bathroom when he was interrupted by his crush Linda (Phoebe Cates). The same thing transpired in an episode of the sitcom That 70s Show (1998–2006) when Eric (Topher Grace) was caught masturbating in the bathroom by his love interest Donna (Laura Prepon). In the teen-comedy American Pie (1999), the film’s most famous scene involved Jim (Jason Biggs) thrusting into a freshly baked apple pie in the family kitchen: he was caught by his father (Eugene Levy). In an episode of the teen-drama series Dawson’s Creek (1998–2003), Pacey (Joshua Jackson) got detention after being caught masturbating in the school locker room. In the Australian surf film Newcastle (2008), Jesse’s (Lachlan Buchanan) masturbation was interrupted when a friend stormed into his room.
These caught-masturbating scenes—each located in narratives targeted at a youth audience—provide insight into a number of popular attitudes and anxieties, notably a) that male masturbation is funny, b) that an adolescent’s privacy is prone to breach and c) being caught often leads to social suicide.
In his Guardian article about male nudity in Hollywood, Olly Richards contended, “We all know the nude male form is essentially ridiculous, built only for floppy comedy.”[2] While no penises were actually shown in the caught-masturbating examples discussed above, they nevertheless each allude to Richards’ idea that the penis is funny and that male masturbation is something to laugh at.
In his cultural history of masturbation, Thomas Laqueur noted that masturbation has endured “the freight of two millennia of jokes.”[3] The author similarly identified that “[a]lmost invariably in elite Latin literature, as in Greek, masturbation is the stuff of jokes, exaggerated claims, and cruel teases.”[4] Like many bodily taboos—farting being an obvious example[5]—masturbation has long been presented comically: Laqueur for example, traced its presence back to Aristophanes’s Peace (c. 421 BC). In a scene from the comedy Funny People (2009), one of George’s (Adam Sandler) criticisms of young comedian Ira (Seth Rogen) was, “All your jokes were about masturbating and farting.” Ira of course, tells such jokes because masturbation continues to be considered funny.
While the psychology of humor is more comprehensively explored elsewhere,[6] the why of the humor of masturbation—notably male masturbation—is worth exploring. Regardless of how far society may have progressed since the draconian punishments used to treat it (chapter 1), masturbation is still widely considered taboo and private. Humor, much like euphemisms, is a technique frequently used to temper such sensitive topics.
Cultural theorist Jay Mechling contended that young boys’ telling of penis and masturbation jokes reflect a number of adolescent anxieties:
The adolescent boys were experiencing considerable anxiety over a number of things . . . [A] crucial marker of manhood is the ability to ejaculate. . . . At the same time, the “shame culture” of boyhood and adolescent often equates (through jokes and ritual insults) the masturbating boy with the “loser” who cannot get his sexual experiences from girls.[7]
While the caught-masturbating narratives are funny because they invariably spotlight male anxiety about horniness, untimely erections, lack of privacy etc., they are also funny because they tap into the idea of masturbation as a supposedly poor substitute for sex: that masturbation is what the pitiful character does when he can’t get a real woman. While substitution is addressed more comprehensively in chapter 7, it is revealing that the masturbator is generally presented as worth laughing at because of his engagement in a supposedly immature sexual activity.
On the few occasions when women are caught, such scenes generally aren’t presented as funny. In the horror film The Attic (1980) for example, teenager Louise (Carrie Snodgress) lay in bed masturbating; her father’s booming voice yelled, “Louise, what are you doing?” The scene reads as more invasive than funny. In Gossip Girl (2007–2012), when Blair (Leighton Meester) was caught masturbating by her maid, again, rather than being funny, the scene was more a reflection of Blair’s personality; she simply lied and said she was finishing off something for school. Not Another Teen Movie opened with Janey (Chyler Leigh) using a vibrator while watching her favourite actor on television. Her masturbation was in fact repeatedly interrupted by family members entering her room to wish her a happy birthday. The humor in this scene stems not from Janey’s masturbation, but more so her horniness—a renegade portrayal for the screen—and the obliviousness of her family members.[8] In the Australian drama Lilian’s Story (1996), when the title character (Toni Collette) was sprung by her father, far from a humorous outcome, Lilian was whipped and raped by him. The Attic, Gossip Girl, Not Another Teen Movie and Lilian’s Story examples aren’t comic like the male examples are, largely because female sexuality exhibited through masturbation has long been presented as something desirable, pleasurable and even seductive for the spectator whereas portrayals of male masturbation are associated with disgust, desperation and perversion.[9]
In the Human Traffic, The Inbetweeners Movie, Not Another Teen Movie, The New Adventures of Old Christine, El quinto mandamiento, The Big C, John From Cincinnati, American Pie and American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile examples, adolescent masturbation was interrupted by family members. One central adolescent concern underpinning these scenes is the young person’s preoccupation with privacy and parents’ apparent disrespect for it.
In communications researcher Sandra Petronio’s work on young people and privacy, one of the most frequently identified signs of a privacy breach was parents entering children’s bedrooms without knocking.[10] The same issue was discussed in Patt Saso and Steve Saso’s book on parenting where one teenager contended, “I want my parents to knock and wait for me to say ‘come in’ before they come into my room.”[11] This frustration was voiced in Brad’s response in Fast Times at Ridgemont High: “Jeez! Doesn’t anyone fucking knock anymore?” When adults enter children’s bedrooms unannounced it provides an insight into parenting style but most notably serves as a vehicle to showcase the unique tribulations of adolescence.
Caught-masturbating scenes tap into a number of teen realities. Firstly, while a younger child might never have cared about their parents walking in announced,[12] for a teenager who has become more self-conscious, to have parents do this is commonly construed as disrespectful. Privacy for adolescents is not just about carving out a secluded space to masturbate however, but more generically about having a space that is theirs. Parents disrespecting personal space—in actuality or purely accidentally—can lead to anxieties and paranoia about being walked in on and imbue autoeroticism with the burden of speed. This idea is perhaps an explanation as to why male masturbation is often depicted as a task needing to be done quickly and in turn why it often has a rushed and comic quality as compared to female masturbation which is more commonly presented as sexy and leisurely.[13] These issues were briefly explored in Linda Levine and Lonnie Garfield Barbach’s work on male sexuality, with one of their interview subjects explaining: “When I was little, I was terrified that I was going to get caught masturbating. I would jack off real fast and shove the Kleenexes in the hole under the mattress of the upper bunk bed.”[14] Sex therapist Susan Crain Bakos also mentioned this idea, noting, “In the Western world, men learned how to ejaculate as quickly as possible to avoid being caught masturbating.”[15] Caught-masturbating narratives tap into an idea that young people are likely well versed in: that having one’s masturbation exposed is bad.[16]
A connected reading of these scenes is in line with philosopher Michel Foucault’s ideas about power and surveillance. In the first volume of his The History of Sexuality, Foucault identified that the prohibition about masturbation traced back to the nineteenth century and noted that a motivation underpinning such condemnation was to normalize the idea that young men are subject to continual surveillance.[17] While the scenes in the narratives discussed in this section aren’t explicitly about the politics of surveillance, they nevertheless can be construed as evidence of the internalization of it; that young men assume their privacy will be breached and thus masturbate as fast as possible assuming intrusion is inevitable.
In chapter 1 masturbation and madness was discussed: by ignoring social rules dictating that self-stimulation is done in private a character is often cast as psychologically unhinged. For a teenager to have their masturbation exposed, the undercurrent is less about madness however, and more so centered on embarrassment.
Adolescent horniness leads to masturbation and more masturbation increases the likelihood of getting caught. The sprung narrative taps into the uniquely teenage preoccupation with embarrassment. Psychologist Rowland Miller discussed this issue and, in reference to the work of psychologist Arnold Buss, noted that “self-conscious emotions such as embarrassment” were most common during adolescence:
First, adolescence brings extraordinary novelty; one’s body changes dramatically with puberty, drawing attention to remarkable new features of one’s physical self. . . . Second, adolescents must cope with unfamiliar impulses, both sexual and romantic, that raise compelling new issues of propriety and privacy.[18]
While Miller notes that the propensity for embarrassment wanes during adulthood, for teenagers it is a big deal. Showing self-consciousness on screen is often difficult without trigger events: masturbation therefore, is one way to exhibit adolescent awkwardness around changing bodies and to display fears of social suicide. In the romantic-comedy Outside Providence (1999) for example, Irving (Jack Ferver) explained the origins of his nickname “Jizz”: in college he was tricked into masturbating in front of his peers. The nickname—and notably the humiliation felt—stuck. A similar theme is apparent in the sci-fi romance Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004). When adult Joel (Jim Carrey) was trying to retain a memory that was under threat of erasure, it was suggested that he hide it inside a humiliating memory of the calibre that are retained in perpetuity: he thus did so inside his recollections of being caught masturbating as a teenager. Decades on and it was Joel’s caught-masturbating memory that he still considered as his most embarrassing. This same theme transpired in the sitcom According to Jim (2001–2009): in one episode, Jim (James Belushi) explained why he didn’t want a fiftieth birthday party. His justification involved him being thirteenth-years-old and thinking everyone had forgotten his birthday. Jim thus decided to give himself a “gift” in the empty house. He found one of his mother’s catalogs, began masturbating, and suddenly his friends and family jumped out and yelled “surprise!” The life-long humiliation thus ruined parties for him.[19]
While more masturbation increases the chances of being caught, living arrangements also conflate this: adolescents’ lack the privacy afforded to adults and thus, their chances of getting caught increase. The getting-caught narrative can also function to showcase a young person’s inability to carve out time and space alone as well as to demonstrate their inability to enforce physical boundaries between themselves and the other members of their household.
The youth-focus can also be explained because young people are often less concerned with morals and guilt than adults (while they may go to church, for example, this is likely because of the patterns of the household rather than individual conviction). In a scene from the period-drama Manderlay (2005), this issue was alluded to via voiceover as Grace (Bryce Dallas Howard) masturbated:
[F]or a moment [Grace] forgot all about shame or political correctness, and did what she had not done since her childhood when she had not yet known it was so infinitely wrong . . .
Physician John Meagher briefly discussed this same issue in his 1936 treatise on masturbation:
The young child indulges in the habit with little or no thought to its being right or wrong . . . the infant directs its feelings and reactions toward those realms which give him his most pleasurable excitement.[20]
The idea of youth being a time when masturbation is not yet considered so infinitely wrong provides another reading for the predominance of youth masturbation on screen: young people are presumed to be less concerned with morality and are less aware of the supposed deleterious “consequences” of their behavior. It also alludes to some of the ideas discussed in chapter 1 about impulse control: young people are assumed to lack this and thus actually need to be taught to keep the act private.
A final suggestion for masturbation scenes disproportionately involving young people lies simply in the topic being most interesting at that time of life. In my book Periods in Pop Culture: Menstruation in Film and Television, I suggested that the preponderance of menstruation storylines involving young women can, simply, be explained by this age group being the only one that finds such a topic as so interesting.[21] Something similar can be contended for masturbation narratives: by adulthood the topic simply becomes less noteworthy, if not also simply practiced less.
While this chapter largely focuses on adolescent masturbation, it should be noted that at the very earliest end of the age spectrum are child participants. Infant masturbation was discussed in medical literature at least as early as 1924, as apparent in psychologist John Watson’s case notes:
The earliest case I have personally observed was a girl around 1 year of age (it often begins much earlier). The infant was sitting up in the bathtub and in reaching for the soap accidentally touched the external opening of the vagina with her finger. The search for the soap stopped, stroking of the vagina began and a smile overspread her face.[22]
Modern paediatric literature similarly spotlights the normalcy of infant masturbation.[23] While a rare presentation on screen—undoubtedly grounded in popular anxieties about childhood sexuality[24]—references to children masturbating are indeed detectable. An outlier visual presentation transpired in Nymphomaniac (2013): in an early scene, pre-pubescent Joe (Maja Arsovic) and her friend B (Sofie Kasten) took off their panties and lay on the bathroom floor opening and closing their legs and experiencing the pleasure of water lapping at their genitals. Most child-masturbation references are however, substantially less explicit. In a scene from the comedy The Hangover (2009) for example, seated at a table next to a baby in a highchair, Alan (Zach Galifianakis) motioned the baby’s arm up and down to make it look like he was masturbating: “He’s jacking his little weenis!” Alan exclaimed. More serious allusions transpired in episodes of American Horror Story (2011–), The Big Bang Theory (2007–), Mad Men (2007–), Californication (2007–), Thanks for Sharing (2013) and House (2004–2012). In American Horror Story, the nymphomaniac character Shelley (Chloë Sevigny) mentioned having masturbated since she was five. In Thanks for Sharing, sex addict Dede (Alecia Moore) similarly reflected on “grinding” against her cousin as a four-year-old. In The Big Bang Theory, Leonard’s (Johnny Galecki) mother, Beverly (Christine Baranski)—a neuroscientist/psychiatrist—reflected on her son as a six-year-old and commented “the boy did spend most of his waking hours with a tight grasp on his penis.” In an episode of Mad Men, Sally (Kiernan Shipka)—ten-years-old at the time—was caught masturbating while watching The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (1964–1968). In an episode of Californication, a teacher informed Charlie (Evan Handler) and Marcy (Pamela Adlon) that their three-year-old son had masturbated at day care. In House, the title character (Hugh Laurie) explained to a mother, Claire (Leigh-Allyn Baker), that her young daughter Rose’s (Amber DeMarco) grunting and rocking was actually self-stimulation:
House: It’s called gratification disorder. Sort of a misnomer. If one was unable to gratify oneself, that would be a disorder.
Claire: [Covering the girl’s ears] Are you saying she’s masturbating?
House: I was trying to be discreet. There’s a child in the room!
Claire: This is horrifying.
House: Epilepsy is horrifying. Teach your girl about privacy and she’ll be fine. [hands the girl a lollipop] Here you go.
Rose: Thank you. [House high-fives her]
House provides a sharp contrast to the kinds of medical scaremongering discussed in chapter 1: clearly he deems the behavior normal. The mother’s reaction however—describing Rose’s masturbating as horrifying—is worth exploring. In sexologist Robert Francoeur and Raymond Noonan’s work on sexuality, the authors noted that, “American adults are very uncomfortable with masturbation by infants and children.”[25] In my book Part-Time Perverts: Sex, Pop Culture and Kink Management I discussed this issue in reference to the case of the toy company Mattel launching a battery-operated broomstick in 2002 in association with the fantasy film Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (2001). The company quickly removed it from sale: “speculation exists that the product was withdrawn because parents complained that their children enjoyed riding the vibrating stick a little too much!”[26] While we can only guess as to why a parent—and more specifically why Claire in House—finds childhood masturbation so confronting, one explanation is that Rose might be growing up a little too fast for her mother’s liking. While in House the fear was only subtly alluded to, the idea of masturbation connoting a child’s maturing—and in turn sparking parents’ fears of ageing—is more readily identifiable in Roseanne and American Pie.
In Roseanne, after Darlene divulged her brother’s masturbation to her parents, the following conversation transpired between mother Roseanne (Roseanne Barr), father Dan (John Goodman) and Roseanne’s sister Jackie (Laurie Metcalf):
Roseanne: Well I don’t want you to give him any grief about this you know, because you can traumatize him and turn him into a serial killer.
Darlene: Don’t worry, how much damage can he do with only one free hand?
Jackie: You know, guys, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s very natural. It’s not like we all didn’t do it.
Dan: Oh my God.
After Darlene and Jackie exit, Dan and Roseanne realise that DJ’s masturbation is the signal that he—their youngest child—is growing up:
Roseanne: He’s too young for this isn’t he, Dan?
Dan: Maybe he’s gifted.
Roseanne: But look, he still drinks his juice out of a little Batman cup. He’s my baby.
Dan: Well, from now on, when you’re baby’s bad, I guess we can’t send him up to his room.
Similar ideas transpired in American Pie. Jim’s dad was about to knock on his son’s door and talk to him about masturbation when he paused at the family portrait hanging on the wall: “I’m looking at the ol’ family portrait, here. Yep. It’s a good one.” Like Roseanne holding DJ’s Batman cup, Jim’s dad was pondering family life before it got more complicated (and potentially, before he was old enough to be the father of a masturbator). In both examples, masturbation is proof to parents that their son is no longer a baby and in turn that their understanding of the family unit—and the role of their sons in it—has changed. Roseanne, Dan and Jim’s dad aren’t appalled or disgusted but rather, simply exhibit slight melancholy that time is moving faster than they were prepared for.[27]
Discussed in chapter 1 was the idea of masturbation as a stage passed through on the road to a more adult sexuality. This idea in fact, is identifiable in both Roseanne and American Pie: while masturbation is presented as normal it is also framed as an activity restricted to youth.
Laqueur discussed psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud’s ideas about masturbation and summarized that, “masturbation was less a crossroads where one might go astray than a stage that one had to pass through in an appropriate way.”[28] Along with the idea of masturbation being perceived as something to transition through and notably grow out of, equally, some of the historic demonization of it centered on the idea that a) it is the behavior of children[29] and b) for an adult to do it demonstrates a lack of maturity. Meagher specifically addressed this idea describing masturbation as “more or less [an] infantile way of seeking erotic gratification.”[30] Laqueur also identified that masturbation has long been considered “a silly thing to do; real men who could get girls did not need to do it.”[31] The well-established masturbation/immaturity connection was also discussed in historian Jean Stengers and Anne Van Neck’s masturbation cultural history where they quoted from Robert James’ eighteenth century A Medical Dictionary: James described the activity as a “vile and unmanly practice.”[32] Writer Norman Mailer similarly claimed, “Masturbation is bad. . . . Anybody who spends his adolescence masturbating generally enters his young adulthood with no sense of being a man.”[33] Laqueur, Stengers and Van Neck and Mailer’s ideas of masturbation as a temporary and immature kind of sexuality are easily identifiable on screen.
In American Pie, in Jim’s dad’s post-pie debrief with his son—after articulating how normal masturbation is—he paused and asked, “You do want a partner, don’t you son?” The inference here is that masturbation is fine provided that Jim wants to move beyond it. The same idea was mentioned by Jackie in Roseanne who, in the conversation with Roseanne and Dan, said, “You know, guys, it don’t have to be a bad thing. It’s very natural. It’s not like we all didn’t do it.” A number of interesting things emerge from this sentence: on one hand Jackie is claiming that masturbation is natural, on the other hand she is speaking in the past tense: “like we all didn’t do it.” The character is both relegating masturbating to behavior in an adult’s past and distancing herself from it. Dan in fact, also does this. Like Jim’s dad in American Pie, Dan has a debrief with DJ shortly after his son’s masturbation was exposed:
DJ: Do you do it?
Dan: Like I said, Deej, everybody does it.
DJ: How much do you do it?
Dan: Look Deej, the funny thing about this is that even though it’s okay and everybody does, there’s nothing wrong with it, nobody ever ever talks about it. [Dan puts his finger to his lips]
While Dan isn’t denying masturbation, he—like Jackie—is distancing himself from it: that it is normal, that it is natural, but that it is something that young people do and notably that it is something kept secret. Jim’s dad in American Pie does the same thing initially when he says, “I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of masturbating when I was a little younger.” This perception of masturbation as the behavior of young people—presumably because it gets replaced with intercourse in adulthood—was explicitly articulated in an episode of the biker-drama Sons of Anarchy (2008–): Chuck (Michael Marisi Ornstein) divulged his “compulsive masturbation disorder” and Piney (William Lucking) responded, “You know, I used to have that. Then I turned thirteen.” This theme also played out in an episode of the British series Love in the 21st Century (1999) when Amanda (Natasha Little) arrived home unexpectedly to find her boyfriend, Jack (Ioan Gruffudd) masturbating. “Wanking?” she asked. “Yeah,” she guessed, “I think I remember that. Kind of a distant nostalgia thing for me.”
While in Roseanne and American Pie masturbation was presented as proof that boys had moved into sexual maturity, the act was still framed as something that young men do; that the boys may no longer be babies anymore, but that they certainly weren’t men either (else they would be having intercourse). An interesting subversion of this however, occurred in the teen-comedy Zits (1988). twelve-year-old Denver (Danielle DuClos) was sitting in a room with her same-aged male school-friends. She announced, smugly, that she had already begun menstruating and then asked, “are you guys into masturbation?” For Denver, masturbation was one of several signs of maturity: this encouraged the boys to, in turn, admit to it (even when, for some of them, their claims didn’t sound convincing).
American Pie is appropriately classified as a teen-comedy and one of the genre’s staple characters is the slacker. In cultural theorist Alexander Wahl’s discussion of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989), he described the “male slacker” character as a male youth “who is associated with the practices of surfing, skating, pot smoking, and/or rock and roll.”[34] Of equal importance to the slacker stereotype is high-level involvement with masturbation.
In chapter 1 I discussed some of the Victorian era and Christian sentiments about masturbation: that if energies were channelled into physical pursuits then the inclination to self-stimulate would abate. The drama Saint Ralph (2004) presented a very good screen example of this: Ralph (Adam Butcher) was caught rubbing his genitals against a rope; his punishment was being forced to join the track team. If a male keeps himself busy, apparently, then he won’t masturbate. Here, the slacker/masturbation connection is established: masturbation is either engaged in by boys predisposed to laziness alternatively that laziness in fact leads to masturbation. In Meagher’s book, discussed earlier, he claimed “[l]aziness in a youth favors masturbation.”[35] Stengers and Van Neck similarly quoted from an 1873 text denouncing masturbation on health grounds and also alluded to the slacker, identifying that the masturbator, “becomes incapable of the slightest intellectual work.”[36] Stengers and Van Neck similarly quoted a nineteenth century physician who wrote, “Youth who are victims of this unhappy and shameful passion more or less lose memory, intelligence; they become stupid, foolish, imbecilic, somber, sad, melancholic, hypochondriacal, timid, indolent, cowardly, lazy.”[37] In his discussion of eighteenth century views on masturbation in England, historian Derek Jarrett also described masturbation as “the child of solitude and idleness,”[38] and the same point was identified in Soviet sexology where one writer claimed that idleness was the “mother of all vices, masturbation included.”[39] This same idea is widely identifiable in contemporary Christian literature:
Instead of using all that testosterone and drive to become educated, to become successful in the workforce so you can be a provider, and to grow spiritually in the art of self-control, you stay a little boy in a young man’s body, a slave to his urges.[40]
Such positions link with the chapter 1 discussion whereby the release of semen was discussed as sometimes being viewed as having a detrimental effect on a man’s health and performance; thus leaving him exhausted and potentially too drained to work. This stereotype of course, is not new—Laqueur for example, discussed the character Datis, a Persian slave in Aristophanes’s Peace who was “the sort of feckless layabout who enjoys masturbating in the afternoon—the ancestor of the modern wanker”[41]—and remains rife in contemporary narratives.
In the biopic The Basketball Diaries (1995), Jim (Leonardo DiCaprio)—an adolescent drug addict—masturbated on a building rooftop and remarked: “Time sure flies when you’re young and jerking off.” In an episode of the drama series Breaking Bad (2008–2013), Walter (Bryan Cranston), reprimanded his young and drug addicted business partner, Jesse (Aaron Paul), telling him that, “Sitting around, smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute ‘plans.’” In the British comedy series The League of Gentlemen (1999–2002), Harvey (Steve Pemberton), teased his nephew (Reece Shearsmith) by implying that he was both a masturbator and lazy: “Perhaps you are a naturally slothful person, sluggish and indolent, a dawdling flâneur, content to waste his life spread-eagled on pillows forever indulging himself in the pleasures of the palm.” Similar ideas were referenced in Billy’s (Callum Keith Rennie) answering machine message in the Canadian mockumentary Hard Core Logo (1996): “I can’t come to the phone right now, I’m eating corn chips and masturbating. Please leave a message.” In the fantasy film Dogma (1999), slacker Jay (Jason Mewes) challenged Rufus (Chris Rock) to prove that he really was the Thirteenth Apostle, in turn, Rufus referenced Jay’s chronic masturbation:
Jay: Yo man, tell me something about me.
Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.
Jay: Aw fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.
While the slacker stereotype is normally associated with adolescence, there are examples where older characters also exhibit these attributes. Such men exhibit a laziness that is often presented as entwined with youth, in turn implying that these men possess a stunted maturity. In You, Me and Dupree mentioned earlier, Dupree (Owen Wilson)—a slacker houseguest who had overstayed his welcome—was caught masturbating. Eventually Carl (Matt Dillon), Dupree’s friend and the exasperated homeowner, exploded, calling him a “backstabbing, bike-riding, couch-burning masturbator!” In the comedy The Change-Up (2011), Jamie (Leslie Mann) heard her husband, Dave’s (Jason Bateman) friend at the door:
Jamie: He’s early.
Dave: Yeah, you’d be early too if all you did all day was eat hummus and masturbate.
In the British sitcom Peep Show (2003–), Mark (David Mitchell) commented to his friend Jeremy (Robert Webb)—portrayed throughout the series as distinctly work shy—“Jeremy, do you think we could take a brief time-out from the masturbate-athon that is your life to go to my son’s christening?” Jeremy’s masturbation worked to further illustrate the stunted development/less-of-a-man idea discussed earlier. The same idea was identifiable in the British romantic-comedy Notting Hill (1999): William (Hugh Grant) described his unemployed, slothful housemate Spike (Rhys Ifans) as the “masturbating Welshman.” Such themes were even more explicit in the suburban-drama American Beauty (1999). Lester (Kevin Spacey) was having a midlife crisis. His masturbation—along with his immature fantasizing about adolescent Angela (Mena Suvari), quitting his job, smoking marijuana etc.—each worked to expose his crisis: Lester was a man regressing to adolescence.
While normally a stereotype associated with men, a rare female slacker featured in the teen-comedy Slackers (2002). Jeff (Michael C. Maronna) entered a dorm room and encountered Reanna (Laura Prepon) self-stimulating:
Reanna: Do I fucking know you?
Jeff: Uh, I lent Angela my notebook, because I take such world famous notes. So I was wondering if I could. . . . Are you busy with something?
Reanna: Yeah. I was masturbating.
Jeff: Masturbating. In the dorms. Well, yeah, well when you go to art school.
Reanna in fact continued to masturbate with a vibrator throughout the scene while Jeff pretended to look for a book. In this scene, Reanna is indicative of the art school slacker, illustrative of the popular idea of art school being “a wank” and as something which leaves students with idle time.
Idle time is of course, essential to the slacker stereotype. In the vast majority of examples discussed above, the slacker’s status as a student or an unemployed—or underemployed—adult meant that they had time on their hands and thus were able to self-stimulate in an idle hands are the devil’s plaything kind of way. Such slackness extends to Charlie in Californication for example, who seemingly had plenty of time to masturbate at work. Equally so for Darren (Stephen Merchant) in the Extras (2005–2006) who did the same. These scenes provide insight into Charlie and Darren as lazy employees but enthusiastic masturbators (their laziness perhaps even being caused by their autoeroticism).
In the military-drama Jarhead (2005), while the characters don’t necessarily fill the slacker stereotype, they nevertheless do illustrate what can happen to a man with too much spare time. Jarhead’s narrator, Anthony (Jake Gyllenhaal), discussed soldier boredom and the perils of excess time and testosterone:
Suggested techniques for the marine to use in the avoidance of boredom and loneliness: masturbation. Rereading of letters from unfaithful wives and girlfriends. Cleaning your rifle. Further masturbation. Rewiring Walkman. Arguing about religion and meaning of life. Discussing in detail, every woman the marine has ever fucked. Debating differences, such as Cuban vs. Mexican, Harleys vs. Hondas, left- vs. right-handed masturbation. Further cleaning of rifle. Studying of Filipino mail order bride catalogue. Further masturbation . . .[42]
Like the masturbating asylum patients discussed in chapter 1 or the jail inmates discussed in chapter 5, soldiers apparently masturbate because they are often bored.
Discussed earlier was the idea of being caught masturbating leading to social suicide. A contrasting and more positive presentation is such behavior forming part of adolescent socialization. In a variety of narratives, boys masturbate in one another’s company to convey intimacy, kinship and closeness and to spotlight an activity that is very much connected to youth because to do it after adolescence—to engage in group masturbation once the world of real sex is available—would be unthinkable (at least for heterosexuals).[43]
In an episode of the medical-drama series Nip/Tuck (2003–2010), adolescent Adrian (Seth Gabel) suggested to the similarly aged Matt (John Hensley) that they masturbate together. While Matt curtly declined, social masturbation does in fact transpire in a number of other scenes. In the Italian comedy Amarcord (I Remember) (1973), four boys were in a car masturbating and moaning out the names of various women. In the Italian historic-drama Nuovo Cinema Paradiso (Cinema Paradiso) (1988), a row of boys masturbated during a screening of a romantic film. In a scene from the Mexican teen-drama Y Tu Mamá También (And Your Mother Too!) (2001), the young male leads Julio (Gael García Bernal) and Tenoch (Diego Luna) masturbated by the side of the pool. In the Irish period-drama Angela’s Ashes (1999), the school boys ran off together to masturbate. In Outside Providence mentioned earlier, as a freshman Irving was invited to join a “secret club” and while there, the head boy instructed:
To bind ourselves together, we must bear witness to one another’s humiliation. When I blow out this candle, we must drop trou and commence to jack off til’ each of us hath come.
The lights went out, grunting was heard, and when the lights returned Irving was the only one masturbating.[44] Female group masturbation examples also exist. In the Canadian comedy-horror film Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004), adolescent Brigitte (Emily Perkins) had a vivid daydream that she and the girls in her meditation class were instructed to masturbate while lying side by side on the floor. In the Canadian drama The Pianist (1991), adolescent sisters Jean (Gail Travers) and Colette (Macha Grenon) both masturbated while in bed with the sleeping Japanese student Yoshi (Eiji Okuda).[45] These two female masturbation scenes provide yet another sharp contrast to the ways that male masturbation is presented. In Amarcord, Nuovo Cinema Paradiso and Angela’s Ashes, the group masturbation scenes were funny and reflective of unrelenting male horniness and a youthful time before homosexual panic. In Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed however, Brigitte was actually doing what both the camera and the audience invariably does to women during autoerotic scenes: she was eroticizing it; it wasn’t a silly or funny situation for her, it was sexy. Similarly, in The Pianist, the scene was notably sensual and it appears likely that the sexiness of being in the proximity of masturbation fuelled each sister’s arousal.
Scenes of group masturbation are open to a number of different interpretations. Film theorists Santiago Fouz-Hernández and Alfredo Martinez-Expósito discussed male group masturbation scenes in the Spanish films Historias del Kronen (Stories from the Kronen) (1995), Barrio (1998), Krámpack (Crazy Summer) (2000) and Planta cuarta (The Fourth Floor) (2003), and contended that “these scenes are a celebration of male friendship and a means of escapism from tough realities.”[46] This is certainly an interpretation also relevant to Angela’s Ashes—based around a family in dire poverty in Ireland in the 1930s and 1940s—and Nuovo Cinema Paradiso, set during the turmoil of World War 2: despite horrible home lives, masturbation existed as a no-cost pleasure and source of escapism for young men.[47]
Another interpretation applicable to both the male and female group masturbation scenes, is the general pleasure reaped from self-stimulating in the company of other masturbators. While ultimately the scene in Outside Providence was intended to embarrass Irving, initially it seemed as though a circle jerk situation would transpire, something defined by sociologist Edward Laumann et al. as,
an activity in which a group will masturbate to orgasm, often in some competitive fashion (to see who will ejaculate the soonest, who has the largest penis, or how far the semen travels on ejaculation).[48]
Nick Pappas, in his book The Dark Side of Sports, contended that circle jerk behavior is indicative of the kinds of “sexualized initiations and rites of passage” easily identifiable in athletic cultures.[49] In his interviews with college athletes, one mentioned the activity and also alluded to homoeroticism:
They’re not gay, but it’s still like a sexual thing to be sitting around with your guys talking about your girlfriends and what they do to them . . . I mean, they’re not getting off on the guy next to you because you can see his rod or anything. It’s just more or less like sitting around watching porn all night. It’s just a sexual atmosphere and they’re all charged up and the next thing you know—they snap one off . . .[50]
Although the athlete attempted to distance group masturbation behavior from homosexuality, there is certainly the capacity to read any scenes involving people of the same sex masturbating in each other’s company as homoerotic.[51] Panic around homoerotics was subtly alluded to in episodes of sitcoms Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000–) and Weeds (2005–2012). In Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry (Larry David) visited his father, Nat (Shelley Berman), in a nursing home. When Larry found his father watching a porn video with the volume up loud, Larry switched off the television saying, “We can’t watch porno together . . . we don’t have that kind of relationship.” While the scene is intend to be funny—and while fears relating to homoeroticism weren’t explicitly mentioned—watching porn with his father; another man—made Larry visibly uncomfortable. In a scene from Weeds, Andy (Justin Kirk) and Doug (Kevin Nealon) considered watching porn together, decided the idea weird, but later were shown watching it under the influence of drugs. Drug-use similarly led to Doug and Dean (Andy Milder) masturbating together in another episode, before the two acknowledged the weirdness.
Masturbation is normally considered as something done solo and in private. To move this behavior out of the bedroom or the bathroom and to do it in the company of another person aligns the act with coupled activity. To do it in front of one’s peers also raises the possibility that arousal comes from a combination of voyeurism and exhibitionism (discussed further in chapter 6). While the characters in the adolescent group masturbation scenes aren’t necessarily gay—after all, they presumably are still discovering their sexuality—it is highly likely that at least some of their arousal comes from being a participant in a sexual atmosphere where behavior often thought of as taboo is engaged in.
Another interpretation for group masturbation alluded to by sociologist Bernard Lefkowitz is that, “The real goal is overcoming your insecurities about sex by impressing your friends with your sexual prowess.”[52] While the Outside Providence scene turned into something rather different, this idea of overcoming insecurities was apparent in the head boy’s set-up: that the participants would bear witness to the masturbation spectacle in order to bond the characters. While it didn’t transpire in this narrative, certainly in other examples group masturbation can indeed connote camaraderie. In the Korean crime-drama Boksuneun naui geot (Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance) (2002) for example, four men leaned against a wall—standing side by side—masturbating as they listened to what they thought were the sounds of a woman orgasming. In a scene from the drama The Right Stuff (1983), aspiring astronauts were asked to give semen samples. Gordon (Dennis Quaid) entered the cubicle to masturbate: in the cubicle next to him was one of his colleagues who was also trying to give a sample and singing at the same time. Gordon asked him to stop singing but soon joined him: they both then sang and masturbated. In both scenes, while the men never made eye contact with one another—thus allaying any overt elements of homoeroticism to the scenes—they were nonetheless presented as comfortable enough with each other to masturbate only inches apart.
Mentioned earlier in reference to the Roseanne, Weeds and Parenthood episodes were parents having conversations with children about masturbation. Such examples highlight that one rationale for including exposed masturbation in a narrative is to showcase the (often humorous) tribulations of parenting; that such scenes create the capacity for some more (comparatively) mature comedy.
In the episode of Roseanne discussed earlier, when Jackie said, “It’s not like we all didn’t do it,” Dan’s response was, “Oh my God.” Later, when Roseanne and Dan were discussing DJ’s self-stimulation, David (Johnny Galecki)—Darlene’s boyfriend—walked in. The moment Roseanne commented, “Well, we ought to be able to handle this okay. I mean, you know, it’s just masturbation,” at hearing the word masturbation David promptly exited the room. As Dan and David’s reactions highlight, masturbation is a topic that people often find uncomfortable. In a recurring sketch from the Scottish comedy series Chewing the Fat (1999–2005), a fourteen-year-old boy’s parents boastfully told anyone they encountered that their son had just started masturbating.[53] The humor of this scene centers on the thoroughly unrealistic reaction of the parents. Whereas other rites of passage—menarche being a good example—are occasionally depicted as cause for celebration (and in fact did lead to celebration in episodes of Roseanne and Nip/Tuck),[54] masturbation generally does not elicit such responses. When DJ in Roseanne asked his father if he was proud of him, Dan said, “Well yeah, but not for this.” Masturbation might not get demonized in Roseanne, but neither is it grounds for festivities.[55]
While contemporary screen parents may not punish their children for masturbating as transpired in the biopic Kinsey (2004) or American Horror Story (discussed in chapter 1), talking to a child about masturbation nevertheless creates a fraught exchange even for the most modern of parents. In an episode of the sitcom The War At Home (2005–2007), 13-year-old Mike (Dean Collins) was about to show his father, Dave (Michael Rapaport), the blisters on his penis when the scene cut to Mike’s monologue: “Man, you tell your kids they can always come to you with anything, but blah [makes gagging noise].” Mike is a modern parent—a marked contrast to the abusive father in Kinsey—but having the masturbation conversation with his son still made him queasy. Mike’s reaction here alludes to the standard way that the difficult masturbation talk is had: the conversation is mandatory—because the modern parent chooses to confront such issues—but such conversations are inevitably imbued with awkwardness.
Quoted earlier was the title character from House who instructed the mother, Claire, “Teach your girl about privacy and she’ll be fine.” House’s comment in this scene highlights that when a child is caught masturbating a situation is created where the parents have to initiate a difficult conversation. The ensuing difficulty and awkwardness of course, invariably becomes comic fodder. In the aforementioned episode of Parenthood, the conversation that grandfather Zeek (Craig T. Nelson) had with his grandson, Drew, centered on excessive masturbation and water wastage. Resource conservation was also mentioned in Ben and Paul’s awkward exchange in The Ice Storm: “On the self-abuse front—and this is important—I don’t think it’s advisable to do it in the shower. It wastes water and electricity . . .” In that scene, Ben subtly demonized masturbation (by calling it self-abuse) but also presented his son’s participation as a foregone conclusion and thus suggested that he at least do it without being wasteful. This scene is a good example of Ben’s parenting being impacted on by the 1970s Zeitgeist and a liberalizing of attitudes towards sexuality; Ben doesn’t divulge his own participation, nor does he reassure his son that it normal or natural, but he, at least, resists reprimand or punishment. In Parenthood, Zeek mentioned to Drew that growing up his uncles also masturbated frequently, in turn normalizing the behavior. Similar normalization occurred in American Pie: Jim’s dad bought his son porn and eventually admitted to masturbating himself: “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, I’m fifty-two, and I still enjoy masturbating. Uncle Mort masturbates. We all masturbate.” The scene is funny on a number of levels: it showcases the predictable embarrassment of the exchange, its destigmatizing and also exploits the cultural truism of children finding any reference to their parents’ sexuality as abhorrent. The latter is something particularly well illustrated in an episode of the animated series Archer (2009–): Sterling stumbled across his mother’s vibrator in a desk drawer and remarked, “There’s not enough liquor and therapy in the world to undo that.”
Moving along the spectrum is Dan’s conversation with DJ in Roseanne. While there was predictable awkwardness, unlike Ben, Dan was very ready to normalize the practice:
Dan: Okay, look DJ. Buddy, I know you’re really embarrassed right now I just want you to know that what you’ve been doing is just a part of growing up.
DJ: So you’re proud of me?
Dan: Well yeah, but not for this. The point is I’m not upset with you. This is something everybody does.
DJ: Really?
Dan: Yeah.
DJ: Okay.
Dan: Okay.
While Dan normalizes masturbation in this scene—reassuring DJ that masturbation is common and not something bad (chapter 1)—it is nevertheless a conversation he finds difficult. While presented as a modern parent, Dan stops short of divulging his own involvement: he might be modern, but he’s not that modern. A similar conversation transpired in The War At Home between Dave and his son Mike:
Dave: Mike, um, have you been, uh, you know—
Mike: Ye-es.
Dave: Like a lot?
Mike: Are you asking me if I’m chronic?
Dave: No. Are you? Chronic?
Mike: Yeah.
Dave: So, um, let me ask you a question. What are you, uh, using when you do it?
Mike: I don’t know. Sometimes a magazine but, um, mostly just my imagination.
Dave: No, no, no. What are you, uh, using to, um, make things go smoothly?
Mike: Don’t know.
Dave: Okay, look, Michael, I um, don’t think you’re exactly doing it right.
Mike: Really? ‘Cos, uh, I mean, it seemed like it was working pretty well.
Dave: I’m going to get you something to make things go more smoothly and in the meantime, look don’t touch it for a week, okay?
Mike: A week?
Dave: Don’t worry. You won’t forget how to do it. It’s like riding a bike. The best bike in the world.
Dave later gives Mike some lubricant. His likening of masturbation to the best bike in the world is an outlier—if not daring—presentation of masturbation as pleasurable. While modern portrayals may eschew reprimand or demonization, to dare suggest that it is pleasurable is renegade. Pleasure is taken substantially further in an episode of Weeds. Uncle Andy had been delegated the task of talking to his nephew, Shane, about masturbation, and delivered a memorable monologue:
Alright, listen closely, I’m not going to beat around the bush. Your little body’s changing, it’s all good, believe me. Problem now is every time we jerk the gherkin, we end up with a lot of unwanted, sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. So, first order of business: no more socks. They’re expensive . . . gumming up the works, plumbing-wise. Now you might be thinking to yourself, ‘But Uncle Andy, what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can’t spew it into Mr. Sock?’ Glad you asked. You can have a lovely time tuggin’ the tiger in the shower each morning. That eliminates the need for a goo glove. But the day is long, masturbation’s fun . . . so unless we wanna take four or five showers every day, we’re gonna need some other options here. So let’s start with the basics. Tissues: perfectly acceptable backstop for all that Creamy Italian. They can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin, not to mention they can stick to your dick head like a fuckin’ Band-Aid. Ouch. From there we move on to more lubricated flak-catchers. Specifically bananas. Step one, peel the banana. Step two, slip the peel over your Randy Johnson and start pitching . . . All right, moving on . . . when you tug your Thomas on the toilet, shoot right into the bowl. In bed, soft T-shirt, perhaps a downy hand towel of your very own that you don’t mind tossing after tossing. There’s no such thing as polishing the raised sceptre of love too much. It reduces stress, it enhances immune function. Also, practice makes perfect. So work on your control now, while you’re a solo artist—you’ll be playing some long, happy duets in the future. Alright—class dismissed. [throws him a banana] Homework.
Even more so than The War at Home, the Weeds scene showcases a thoroughly surprising masturbation discussion: Andy not only treats self-stimulation as normal—and implies that he is speaking from extensive experience—but he also provides information on technique, comfort, clean-up, frequency, disposal, lubrication as well as the benefits associated with pleasure and health.
Something noticeable in these difficult conversation scenes is that they are very gendered. In Parenthood for example, single-mother Sarah fully intended to talk to her son Drew about his masturbation but his grandfather Zeek ended up doing so: this was presented as the natural order.[56] The same thing transpired in Weeds: Nancy intended to talk to Shane—she even started the conversation—but ended up delegating the task to her brother-in-law. The natural order idea was mentioned explicitly in the adventure film Transformers (2007). The adolescent protagonist, Sam (Shia LaBeouf), was asked by his mother, Judy (Julie White), about his masturbation. His father, Ron (Kevin Dunn), told Judy, “That’s not something for you to bring up. That’s a father-and-son thing, okay?” In Roseanne as noted earlier, daughter Darlene made a similar point, explaining to her mother, “Trust me, I don’t think this is a time that a boy needs his mother.” In Periods in Pop Culture, I discussed menstruation being something largely only ever discussed on screen between women: if menstrual education is provided within a narrative, inevitably it is delivered by a female.[57] Given the very gendered nature of menstruation—women menstruate, men don’t—it perhaps stands to reason that such education is provided by someone who has experienced it. While both sexes masturbate and thus there’s not an obviously gendered element to the act, nevertheless, the idea of conversations about it being best handled by a parent of the same sex—with the same genitals—reiterates the assumption that bodily-sensitive discussions are best contained within a gender,[58] that to have an opposite sex parent do so can imbue the scene with possible impropriety.[59]
In The War at Home and Weeds, while awkward conversations transpired in both scenes, lessons were notably provided about technique. While Mike in The War at Home and Shane in Weeds evidently discovered masturbation themselves, they both seemingly needed to be taught how to do it without causing damage to their penis or the plumbing. These examples allude to the screen idea of masturbation sometimes needing to be taught.
Earlier in this chapter, I discussed Watson’s 1924 case notes detailing a one-year-old accidentally stumbling upon masturbation. Accidental discovery is also apparent on screen. In the sci-fi film Amanda & the Alien (1995), the alien—who had taken over the body of Connie (Alex Meneses)—was having her first shower. While soaping she accidentally discovered the pleasures of masturbation; she eventually had to be dragged out of the shower, unwilling to leave of her own accord. In the comedy-drama Cruel Intentions 2 (2000), Cherie (Keri Lynn Pratt) had her first orgasm during a horse-riding lesson, aroused apparently, by the friction and rhythm; she later pronounced, “Now I know why girls like horses.” In both examples, masturbation was discovered accidentally, something in line with academic research where it is reported that two out of three female children learn to masturbate through accidental discovery.[60] While in Amanda & the Alien and Cruel Intentions 2 masturbation was stumbled upon, in other narratives it is presented as something that needs to be actively taught.
In the comedy This Is the End (2013), the fact that Danny (Danny McBride) wasn’t taught how to masturbate properly (“I was raised in a house of women!”) was considered a substantial problem. Similarly, while it is only spoken about and not shown, in an episode of Six Feet Under (2001–2005), Nate (Peter Krause) asked Brenda (Rachel Griffiths), “Did you know I taught [my brother] David how to masturbate?” In other examples, the lesson is more visual. In the biopic The Runaways (2010), teenager Joan (Kristen Stewart) taught her similarly aged bandmate Sandy (Stella Maeve) how to masturbate with porn and a showerhead. In the French drama Un jeu brutal (Brutal Game) (1983), Isabelle (Emmanuelle Debever)—after spying her governess Annie (María Luisa García) masturbating—returned to her room and copied her; masturbating for what appeared to be her first time. In the Mexican drama Arráncame la vida (Tear This Heart Out) (2008), adolescent Catalina (Ana Claudia Talancón) was taught how to masturbate by an older fortune teller/gypsy who showed her how to find her clitoris (“we call this the bell”). In the New Zealand coming of age film 50 Ways of Saying Fabulous (2005), Billy (Andrew Paterson) was taught how to masturbate by his sex-obsessed classmate Roy (Jay Collins). In the aforementioned episode of John From Cincinnati, Cissy—under the influence of LSD—caught her son Butchie masturbating and showed him how to do it “properly.” In these narratives, the pupils are young people, but there are also examples of adults being taught too. In the French comedy-drama Choses secrètes (Secret Things) (2002), Nathalie (Coralie Revel) provided her colleague Sandrine (Sabrina Seyvecou) a self-stimulation lesson. In the comedy The Dictator (2012), the exiled title character, Aladeen (Sacha Baron Cohen), apparently had never had to discover masturbation for himself when he lived in Wadiya because women had always attended to his sexual needs. In the U.S. however, his friend Zoey (Anna Faris), had to teach him about self-stimulation: in one scene she provided instruction from the other side of a door. While initially thinking the lesson was “silly,” Aladeen was quickly jubilant: “Give a man a vagina and he will shpich for a day. Teach a man to use his hand as a vagina and he will shpich for a lifetime!” In the fantasy Pleasantville (1998), the middle-aged housewife Betty (Joan Allen) was given a lesson on masturbation by her adolescent “daughter” Jennifer (Reese Witherspoon). Later, Betty masturbated for the first time. In a scene from the Chilean drama Sexo con amor (Sex With Love) (2003), Maca (María Izquierdo)—who was in an unhappy relationship with her adulterous husband—learned about sexuality through books. In one scene she masturbated while reading a magazine called Sexual Life: The Pleasure of the Female Orgasm. In an episode of Nip/Tuck a patient, Adam (Greg Ellis)—who had scarring on his neck from autoerotic asphyxiation—introduced his cosmetic surgeon Christian (Julian McMahon) to the pleasures of it; Christian did so in the very next scene. In another episode, Manya (Aisha Tyler)—a Somalian model who had had a cliterodectomy—was coached to orgasm through masturbation by Dr. Cruz (Roma Maffia). A similar medical-themed lesson transpired in the British series Strictly Confidential (2006): sex therapist Linda (Suranne Jones) instructed her patient Tiffany (Nikki Sanderson)—who had been experiencing sexual difficulties—to insert a finger inside herself when she was comfortable in the presence of her partner. In the comedy-drama The Oh in Ohio (2006), Priscilla (Parker Posey) who had never orgasmed before, became more sexual—and ultimately orgasmic—after attending a masturbation workshop.
These narratives acknowledge that not all people do actually stumble upon masturbation, but rather, need to find out about it. This in fact, alludes to a real life quandary about the role of masturbation in sex education,[61] but also highlights that stigma still exists for some people around exploring one’s own genitals. Noteworthily, in most of these examples, it is women who are being taught to masturbate, hinting at women’s reluctance to have contact with their own genitals and perhaps hinting to an explanation behind women masturbating less than men.[62]
The teaching of masturbation, akin to menstrual education,[63] can be a way to bond characters and showcase intimacy. Certainly in The Runaways and Pleasantville the lesson helped to strengthen rapport between characters. Another theme worth discussing is that of possible sexual corruption. The Runways, 50 Ways of Saying Fabulous and Six Feet Under’s scenes for example, are open to interpretation as a masturbation lesson being used to lead someone astray, and certainly into homosexuality. If masturbation is thought of as an evil, the idea of teaching someone how to participate could be construed as a kind of seduction: that they are being taught how to commit the sin of self-sex, but that the lesson is also a kind of same-sex sex act, and thus equally problematic. The role of boarding schools for example, as a place where masturbation is learnt in a same-sex environment, is referenced in academic research. Sex writer Nancy Friday addressed this topic in her book Women on Top, noting that in the early twentieth century, “Doctors warned that girls’ boarding schools were literal hotbeds of young female proselytizers, eager to vamp one another into the practice of masturbation.”[64] The subject was also addressed briefly by queer theorist Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick.[65] While not a common screen portrayal, boarding school (and boys’ schools themed films more broadly) such as The Devil’s Playground (1976), Up the Academy (1980), Afterschool (2008), and The History Boys each include references to masturbation; in line with the research implying that such environments are invariably same-sex sexually charged.
This chapter focused on masturbation as something inextricably connected to youth: either actual youth in age, or simply the connotations of being young such as idleness and not having access to “real sex.” In Weeds Andy provided insight into a variety of masturbation methods: chapter 3 explores in much greater detail the myriad of techniques deployed on screen.
Robert Crooks and Karla Baur, Our Sexuality (Redwood City, CA: Benjamin Cummings Pub. Co., 1990); Nathaniel McConaghy, Sexual Behavior: Problems and Management (New York: Plenum Press, 1993); Karin A. Martin, Puberty, Sexuality, and the Self: Boys and Girls at Adolescence (New York: Routledge, 1996); Charles Zastrow and Karen Kirst-Ashman, Understanding Human Behavior and the Social Environment (Belmont, CA: Cengage, 2010).
Olly Richards, “Magic Mike, and a Brief History of Men Getting Their Kit off on Film,” The Guardian (July 7, 2012). Retrieved October 2, 2012 from http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/jul/07/magic-mike-male-nudity-on-film.
Thomas W. Laqueur, Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation, New York: Zone Books, 2003, 80.
Thomas W. Laqueur, Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation, New York: Zone Books, 2003, 106.
Lauren Rosewarne, “The Farting Chapter,” American Taboo: The Forbidden Words, Unspoken Rules, and Secret Morality of Popular Culture (Santa Barbara, CA: Praeger, 2013).
Rod A. Martin, The Psychology of Humor: An Integrative Approach (Burlington, MA: Elsevier Academic Press, 2007).
Jay Mechling, “The Folklore of Mother-raised Boys and Men,” Manly Traditions: the Folk Roots of American Masculinities, ed. Simon J. Bronner (Bloomington, IN: Indiana University Press, 2005): 211–227, 223.
This issue of family obliviousness was briefly alluded to in Betty Dodson’s book Sex for One: “My family, my friends, the world at large, and I pretended masturbation didn’t exist, and, therefore, the pleasure I experienced was not real. My sexuality did not exist until I found true love in partnersex” (Betty Dodson, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (New York: Crown Trade Paperbacks, 1996), 12).
A rare example of a female caught-masturbating scene played for laughs transpired in the sitcom 2 Broke Girls (2011–). Max (Kat Dennings) walked in on her housemate Caroline (Beth Behrs) masturbating in the bath with a showerhead and asked, “Why are your legs up in the air up like that? Why were you holding the showerhead direc—Oh! I’m sorry, I thought you’d be home feeling bad for yourself not feeling your bad self.” This scene highlights a recurring theme of breached boundaries in 2 Broke Girls and rare and often renegade presentations of female sexuality.
Sandra Petronio, “Privacy Binds in Family Interactions: the Case of Parental Privacy Invasion,” The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication, eds. William R. Cupach and Brian H. Spitzberg (Hillsdale NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum, 1994): 241–257.
In Patt Saso and Steve Saso, 10 Best Gifts for Your Teen: Raising Teens with Love and Understanding (Notre Dame, IN: Sorin Books, 1999), 46.
This idea was well illustrated in a webisode of the series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012–). Host Jerry Seinfeld mused on how his young children will call out “come in” when they are on the toilet, reflecting a lack of self-consciousness that evaporates with age.
A good encapsulation of the difference between male and female masturbation is apparent in the comedy American Reunion (2012): Jim (Jason Biggs) used porn and a sock while his wife, Michelle (Alyson Hannigan), self-stimulated leisurely in the bath.
In Linda Levine and Lonnie Garfield Barbach, The Intimate Male: Candid Discussions About Women, Sex, and Relationships (Gretna, LA: Wellness Institute Inc., 1983), 88.
Susan Crain Bakos, Best Sex Ever: The Ultimate Guide to Positions, Techniques, Toys, and Games (Gloucester, MA: Quiver, 2010), 280.
Masturbation writer Betty Dodson discussed her own youthful preoccupation with masturbating quickly to avoid getting caught: “All my years of childhood and marital masturbation were about not getting caught. I’d trained myself to come fast while remaining silent” (Betty Dodson, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (New York: Crown Trade Paperbacks, 1996, 98) [Emphasis in original]).
Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality. Volume 1: An Introduction (New York: Vintage, 1980).
Rowland S. Miller, Embarrassment: Poise and Peril in Everyday Life (New York: The Guilford Press, 1996), 87.
The anxiety of being caught masturbating was alluded to in the comedy Going Berserk (1983) when John (John Candy) told his therapist about a recurring dream where he is caught masturbating on a beach.
John F. W. Meagher, The Study of Masturbation and the Psychosexual Life (London: Bailliére, Tindall and Cox, 1936), 66.
Lauren Rosewarne, Periods in Pop Culture: Menstruation in Film and Television (Lanham, MD: Lexington Books, 2012).
John Watson, Behaviorism (New Brunswick, NJ: Transaction Publishers, 1998), 92.
Debra L. Price and Julie F. Gwin, Pediatric Nursing: An Introductory Text (St. Louis, MO: Saunders Elsevier, 2008); Alice S. Honig, Hiram E. Fitzgerald and Holly E. Brophy-Herb, Infancy in America (Santa Barbara, CA: ABC-CLIO, 2001); Floyd M. Martinson, The Sexual Life of Children (Westport, CT: Bergin and Garvey, 1994).
Robert T. Francoeur and Raymond J. Noonan, The Continuum Complete International Encyclopedia of Sexuality (New York: Continuum, 2004).
Robert T. Francoeur and Raymond J. Noonan, The Continuum Complete International Encyclopedia of Sexuality (New York: Continuum, 2004), 1179.
Lauren Rosewarne, Part-Time Perverts: Sex, Pop Culture and Kink Management (Santa Barbara, CA: Praeger, 2011), 93.
While not in the context of masturbation, the idea of the sexual maturity of children creating anxieties for parents was discussed in an episode of medical-drama Nip/Tuck (2003–2010). After their eight-year-old daughter, Annie (Kelsey Batelaan), got her first period, parents Julia (Joely Richardson) and Sean (Dylan Walsh) became concerned about the hormones in meat and dairy products. Annoyed by the family’s new “weird shit” dietary restrictions, oldest son Matt (John Hensley) accused, “You both are so hypocritical, acting like it’s Annie’s hormones you’re worried about, when the truth is you’re just being narcissists. You’re both just freaked out about getting older yourselves.”
Thomas W. Laqueur, Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation (New York: Zone Books, 2003), 22.
Psychologists Eric Mash and David Dozois for example, identified masturbation as being “the first disorder described as unique to children and adolescents” (Eric J. Mash and David J. A. Dozois, “Child Psychopathology: a Developmental Systems Perspective,” Child Psychopathology, eds. Eric J. Mash and Russell A. Barkley (New York: The Guildford Press, 2003), 8).
John F. W. Meagher, The Study of Masturbation and the Psychosexual Life (London: Bailliére, Tindall and Cox, 1936), 63.
Thomas W. Laqueur, Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation (New York: Zone Books, 2003), 80.
In Jean Stengers and Anne Van Neck, Masturbation: The History of a Great Terror (New York: Palgrave, 2001), 56.
In Thomas W. Laqueur, Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation (New York: Zone Books, 2003), 81.
Alexander Wahl, “The Global Metastereotyping of Hollywood ‘Dudes,’” Media Intertextualities, ed. Mie Hiramoto (Philadelphia, PA: John Benjamins Publishing, 2012), 34.
John F. W. Meagher, The Study of Masturbation and the Psychosexual Life (London: Bailliére, Tindall and Cox, 1936), 118).
Jean Stengers and Anne Van Neck, Masturbation: The History of a Great Terror (New York: Palgrave, 2001), 2.
In Jean Stengers and Anne Van Neck, Masturbation: The History of a Great Terror (New York: Palgrave, 2001), 4.
Derek Jarrett, England in the Age of Hogarth (New York: Viking Press, 1974), 189.
In Igal Halfin, Terror in My Soul: Communist Autobiographies on Trial (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2003), 206.
Michael DiMarco and Hayley DiMarco, Almost Sex: 9 Signs You Are About to Go Too Far (Or Already Have) (Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 2009), 82.
Thomas W. Laqueur, Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation (New York: Zone Books, 2003), 103.
Masturbation is also mentioned in other military-themed films including Full Metal Jacket (1987) and Biloxi Blues (1988).
While perhaps unthinkable for heterosexuals, it is worth noting that this isn’t the same for homosexuals. Historian Thomas Laqueur noted that by the 1990s masturbation had “achieved a new autonomy, a new status as a genuine alternative to heterosexual norms.” He discussed the popularity of jack-off clubs as an example of this (Thomas W. Laqueur, Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation, New York: Zone Books, 2003, 81).
While this section focused on group masturbation involving boys, worth noting, there are also examples of adult men participating. In the biopic Auto Focus (2002) for example, Bob (Greg Kinnear) and John (Willem Dafoe) masturbated seated next to each other while watching a pornographic video. Similarly, in an episode of Weeds (2005–2012), in one scene Doug (Kevin Nealon) and Dean (Andy Milder), masturbated together in a bathroom under the influence of drugs.
While this section focused on group masturbation involving adolescent girls, the comedy-drama The Oh in Ohio (2006), had a scene of the adult Priscilla (Parker Posey) masturbating with other women at a masturbation workshop.
Santiago Fouz-Hernández and Alfredo Martinez-Expósito, Live Flesh: The Male Body in Contemporary Spanish Cinema (London: IB Tauris and Co., 2007), 61.
This theme of masturbation as an inexpensive pastime also plays out at the very beginning of the film Babel (2006). A young boy masturbated while looking—through a hole in the hut wall—at his naked sister.
Edward O. Laumann, John H. Gagnon, Robert T. Michael, and Stuart Michaels, The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States (Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press, 1994), 21.
Nick Pappas, The Dark Side of Sports: Exposing the Sexual Culture of Collegiate and Professional Athletes (Indianapolis, IN: Meyer and Meyer Sport, 2012), 22.
In Nick Pappas, The Dark Side of Sports: Exposing the Sexual Culture of Collegiate and Professional Athletes (Indianapolis, IN: Meyer and Meyer Sport, 2012), 24.
The homoeroticism of group masturbation was more specifically alluded to in an episode of South Park (1997–) when Randy and Gerald were sharing a hottub. They spoke briefly about threesomes and decided to masturbate in front of one another. This led to awkwardness and to Randy questioning his sexuality.
Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb (Berkeley, CA: University of California Press, 1997), 244.
Another humorous take on parental reactions to masturbation transpired in an episode of The Hard Times of RJ Berger (2010–2011) when RJ (Paul Iacono) was caught masturbating by his mother. Later in the episode RJ’s mother and father and their friends were laughing about him.
Lauren Rosewarne, Periods in Pop Culture: Menstruation in Film and Television (Lanham, MD: Lexington Books, 2012).
In the final scene of the black-comedy Happiness (1998), adolescent Billy (Rufus Read) created his own moment of masturbatory celebration, when, after ejaculating for the first time, he went inside and announced to his family, “I came.”
Parenthood’s very gendered approach to parenting was illustrated in another episode when Christina (Monica Potter) instructed her husband Adam (Peter Krause) to talk to their son Max (Max Burkholder) about his burgeoning sexual maturity; her reasoning was that she spoke with their daughter and thus the natural order would be for Adam to speak to Max.
Lauren Rosewarne, Periods in Pop Culture: Menstruation in Film and Television (Lanham, MD: Lexington Books, 2012).
This gender segregation however, highlights another double standard whereby women on screen inevitably find men’s masturbation awkward to discuss at best and disgusting as worst, whereas men invariably find women’s masturbation sexy.
Something notable in the caught-masturbating scenes from The Big C (2010–2013), The Hard Times of RJ Berger (2010–2011), El quinto mandamiento (The Fifth Commandment) (2012), The New Adventures of Old Christine (2006–2010) and Human Traffic (1999) are that mothers catch their sons. In John From Cincinnati (2007), not only does Cissy (Rebecca De Mornay) catch her son, Butchie (Brian Van Holt), but she actually takes over the act. Conversely, it is extremely rare on screen to have fathers catch their daughters. An outlier example where this happens—in the Australian drama Lilian’s Story (1996)—the title character (Toni Collette) is caught by her father Barry Otto) who then whipped and raped her. One possibility for the absence of daughters being caught by their fathers is that rather than being construed as funny and embarrassing, such a scene actually becomes more tawdry premised on the idea that a woman’s masturbation is invariably sexually tempting (chapter 6). Scenes where fathers catch sons needless to say—American Pie (1999) provides a classic example of this—are funny because the masturbator is male. Worth noting, father’s catching daughters masturbating—and then an incestuous sex act following—is a theme common in porn videos and sexually explicit literature.
Chrissie Sanderson, The Seduction of Children: Empowering Parents and Teachers to Protect Children from Child Sexual Abuse (Philadelphia, PA: Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2004).
An example of the controversy of teaching masturbation was exemplified in 1994 when the then U.S. Surgeon General, Joyceleyn Elders—after suggesting that she thought sex education courses should include masturbation as a safe alternative to sex—was asked to resign. See also Kristin Luker, When Sex Goes to School (New York: WW Norton and Co., 2006); Rosewarne, Lauren, “Sex and the Supermarket: Woolworths Giving Off Bad Vibrations,” The Conversation (September 30, 2013). Retrieved September 30, 2013 from https://theconversation.com/sex-and-the-supermarket-woolworths-giving-off-bad-vibrations-18720.
David H. Barlow and V. Mark Durand, Abnormal Psychology: An Integrative Approach (Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, 2012.
Lauren Rosewarne, Periods in Pop Culture: Menstruation in Film and Television (Lanham, MD: Lexington Books, 2012).
Nancy Friday, Women on Top: How Real life Has Changed Women’s Sexual Fantasies (London: Arrow Books, 1991), 31.
Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, Tendencies (Durham, NC: Duke University Press, 1993).