“Very well, ladies,” says Captain Laughton to the various Crews arrayed before him. “The allotment of living spaces will now begin. There are four levels in the hold, the top one being the most desirable, having windows and sunlight, the second good air but no windows, and so on, down to the fourth level.”
We are two full days out of Gibraltar and the Captain is seated at his usual table on the quarterdeck, flanked by the Purser and Mr. Higgins. Both Purser and Assistant Purser hold quills in their hands and bend over ledgers, ready to inscribe the amounts pledged. It is noon, the sun is high in the sky, the breeze is light but constant, the sails are full, and there are wineglasses and tankards all around. Although it is Wednesday, all aboard have been issued a double tot of grog in honor of the occasion. And yes, the Captain has a winsome Tartan on his knee. Does the man never tire?
My girls are all in our Newgaters’ rigs—no stockings, of course, as it’s just too hot, but still looking sharper than ever. We are arrayed up on the foretop, all laughing and chattering. There are only twelve of us, so there’s plenty of room for us to sit on the foretop deck, our legs dangling over the side. I always like the superior position in a situation like this, lookin’ down on all the others arrayed below. You can spit down, but they cannot spit up.
“And furthermore, there are some cabins available. They will have a flat rate of one full pound a month, each. Do I have any takers on those fine accommodations before we get to the larger auction?”
Hmmm . . . Heavy rent, I must say. The Captain may be corrupt, but he doesn’t lack for sense; it wouldn’t do for the three madams to start feuding amongst themselves, because it could get down and very dirty if one of them got private quarters and the others did not.
At this, the madams Barnsley, Berry, and MacDonald, dressed in their best, advance grandly to the table, like ships in full sail, to snap down their coin, and the amounts are entered in the ledger. Then they are given keys to their rooms, small cabins, which I know to be on the second level, below the officers’ quarters, and not adjacent to the officers’ mess . . . and not quite what you fine ladies might be wishing for. We shall see . . .
I do not advance to the table, though I have enough money to do so. The Captain notices this and calls out, “And nothing for you, Miss Faber, noble leader of the redoubtable Newgaters? No snug little cabin for you, our female Orpheus?”
“Beggin’ your pardon, Sir, but no,” says I, leaning over the edge. “Although your offer is charming, I prefer to cast my lot with my girls. They are loyal and true to me, and I shall be the same to them.”
That gets a cheer from my Newgaters and some of the men, I notice, and some groans from the other Crews. “Little prig . . .’oo the ’ell she thinks she is, Saint Agnes or somethin’?” is heard from the vicinity of Mrs. Barnsley, and “Bleedin’ little snot. We’ll see about ’er sometime, we will” echoed from near Mrs. Berry. Mrs. MacDonald says something in Scots Gaelic, but I don’t quite get it. I do, however, earn a nod and a smile from the Captain.
Although I could afford the room, I don’t want it just yet, as I don’t want to be anywhere near that Ruger. I know those stateroom doors open outward, and I can’t have that. My trusty wooden wedges would be useless in fending off unwanted intruders, of which Ruger would almost certainly be one. Right now, I feel safer with my Crew about me. Plus, I must care for my girls . . . and now Mairead, too.
“Very well,” says the Captain. “Let us now bid on the lofts: The top level, currently being occupied by those called the Newgaters, is, I believe the prime residence space. Shall we start the bidding at ten pounds?”
“Ten pounds!” I shout, and a cheer is raised.
“Eleven!” cries Mrs. Barnsley.
“Twelve!” from Mrs. Berry, not to be yet undone.
“Thirteen!” says Mrs. MacDonald. Do I hear a slight reluctance in her thrifty Scottish brogue? I think I do.
“Fourteen!” That would be Mrs Barnsley again.
Seeing that the madams are now bidding quite briskly against each other, I drop out of the contest, shaking my head slightly when the Captain looks to me after each bid.
Mrs. Barnsley wins the top level with a bid of sixteen pounds. She looks up at me in triumph.
“Well, we’ll be sure clearin’ your lot out right quick, won’t we now?”
I do not deign to reply. I only put on the Lawson Peabody Look and wait for the next turn of events.
“And now the second level, ladies. No windows, but lots of good clean air, and the finest of hammock hooks. Do I hear five pounds?”
“Five pounds,” says Mrs. Berry.
“Six,” say I.
“Seven.”
I drop out at that. Mrs. Berry outbids Mrs. MacDonald and gets it for nine pounds.
“Looks like we’re goin’ down into the bottom hold.” Molly sighs beside me. “A pity. Our old loft was startin’ to look a lot like home.”
“Don’t worry, Molly, we’re not going down there at all . . . at least not to sleep,” I say. They all look at me. “Shush. I’ll tell you later, after we are dismissed.” I had thought this all out before, since I knew we would not have enough money to outbid the other Crews. No, there’s much better uses for our money.
“It’s your money, Jacky,” says Maggie. “You’re the one what dove down in the water for it.”
“Nay, Mag, it’s share and share alike in this gang. You all are pitchin’ in to the sewing and the laundry, and doin’ a fine job of it—and we all know there was a helluva lot of washing after the lusty frolics of Gibraltar.” There are grunts of disgusted agreement all around. Ann makes a show of holding her nose and crossing her eyes.
“I’ll continue to do my bit, too, in my own way,” says I. “And all the coin will go in to sweeten the common Newgater pot.”
Mrs. MacDonald, being Scottish and cheap, gets the third level for her Tartans. I only bid her up to three pounds.
“Will you bid anything for the bottom level, Miss Faber?” asks the Captain.
“Beggin’ your pardon, Sir, but I believe I have gotten that fine space by default.”
“Ha! Then you have it, Miss, for but a song, and I hope you enjoy. I hope you all enjoy! By and large, ladies, that was a very good auction,” exults the Captain, richer by twenty-eight pounds. “We will do this again in another month, and we shall see who triumphs then. And take heart, ladies, there will be more ports of call and more opportunities to make even more money.”
“Looks like you and yer crew is goin’ down to the bottom of this bark with the rest of the rats,” says Mrs. Barnsley. She grins and looks up at us, triumphant. “Just a pack o’ thieves . . . and now you add traitors, too . . .” She looks pointedly at Mairead. “A damned bogtrotter, as well. You and your Newgaters are well named. Hope you’ll all enjoy the lower deck. It should remind you all of home—both the bowels of Newgate . . . and focking Ireland.”
Mrs. Barnsley has never concealed her dislike of me. I know she was jealous of my bein’ able to wriggle my way into the Captain’s cabin so soon—and maybe into his affections, too. Now, there’s been many an individual Liverpool Judy, London Lizzie, and Scottish Tartan in the cabin, bouncing on various male knees, but the three Mesdames have not, and it rankles them to see me prancing in and out of there, like I half own the place—which I do . . . or did . . .
“Erin go braugh!” Mairead snarls, and goes to fling herself off the foretop. I manage to catch and hold her before she can leap down on Mrs. Barnsley, claws out and ready to do damage.
“Me and mine shall thrive wherever we are quartered, Mrs. Barnsley,” I announce, “as we are secure in both our mutual friendship and our womanly virtue.”
And the price for washing your Crew’s filthy drawers just went up by half, you old bawd!
That gets the old bawd’s goat.
“Listen, you little guttersnipe,” snarls Mrs. Barnsley, pointing a threatening finger up at me, “you go holier-than-thou on me, and I’ll teach you a lesson or two.”
“Hey, hey, we’ll have none of that, else we’ll have to bring out the rod again.” The Captain, being a generally easy-going sort, will not put up with a loss of good order. Only yesterday, two of the ladies—one Judy, a Jane Ellis, and one Tartan, Mary Davidson—had gotten into a fight, over a man, of course, and each had been punished by being stretched across a cannon, skirts hiked up, and given ten lashes of the rod over their very ample buttocks. Their howls were quite expressive.
“The darkness and gloom will be good for my snowy complexion, Captain Laughton,” say I, getting a good laugh from the crowd. A week and a half out from London and I’m already tanned brown as a nut. The laugh eases the tension.
“Well said,” replies the Captain. “Now, as for that song for your rent, perhaps it might be delivered by the newest member of your Crew, the lovely colleen with the flaming red hair?”
I pull out my pennywhistle and look over at Mairead. “It would be a good thing to do,” I say.
She nods. In our hammock last night we had talked for a long while about our situation and had come to a joint conclusion: We can worry about our lads only so much, but we also know that they would want us to be cheerful and make the best of the lot that has befallen us. Then we fell asleep, wrapped about each other for comfort.
Mairead stands up and so do I.
“It will be ‘Home, Boys, Home!’” she announces to the crowd, and to me she counts one . . . two . . . three! And we swing into it, she with voice, me with whistle.
Oh, well, who wouldn’t be a sailor lad, a sailin’ on the main,
To gain the goodwill of his captain’s good name,
He came ashore one evening at my own daddy’s inn,
And that was the beginning of my own true love and me. For it’s . . .
“All you down there,” I call out to those below. “Come join in the chorus and let’s properly welcome our new lass aboard our Lorelei Lee!”
With great gusto they all—Captain, officers, crew, and Crews—sing it out.
Home, boys, home, home I’d like to be,
Home for a while in the old country
Where the oak and the ash and the bonny rowan tree
Are all growing greener in the north country!
Mairead goes into the next verse, while I toodle along. Although Mairead is not a large girl—not much bigger than I—she has a powerful set of lungs and, when singing, is not at all shy of using them.
Well, he asked me for a candle for to light him up to bed,
And likewise for a handkerchief to tie around his head.
I tended to his needs like a chambermaid ought to do,
So then he says to me, now won’t you leap in with me, too. And it’s . . .
. . . the chorus, again, louder now, and . . .
Well, I jumped into the bed, making no alarm,
Thinking a young sailor lad could never do me harm.
Well, he hugged me and kissed me the whole night long,
Till I wished that little short night had been nine years long. And it’s . . .
. . . the chorus, with all on deck joining in, and then Mairead crosses her hands over her belly and looks off with a rueful expression on her face as she sings . . .
Well, early next morning, the sailor lad arose,
And into my apron threw a handful of gold, saying,
“Take this me dear, for the mischief that I’ve done,
For tonight I fear I’ve left you with a daughter or a son.” And it’s . . .
. . . the chorus, with great laughter at Mairead’s wide-eyed poor-maiden-finding-herself-suddenly-with-child pantomime, and then she sings the last verse . . .
Now come all of you fair maidens, a warning take by me,
And never let a sailor lad an inch above your knee,
For I trusted one and he beguil-ed me,
He left me with a pair of twins to dangle on me knee. And it’s . . .
Home, boys, home, home I’d like to be,
Home for a while in the old country
Where the oak and the ash and the bonny rowan tree
Are all a growing greener in the north country!
I cap it off with a trill of notes on my whistle, and then we both bow. A great cheer for the two of us, and then the Captain rises and lifts his glass in salute to Mairead.
“Capital, just capital, my girls,” he bellows. “Today, let the merriment continue with a double tot for all! Tomorrow, we shall be at Madeira Island, the Pearl of the Atlantic!” crows the Captain, holding up his glass for a refill. “The Floating Garden of the Sea!”
Huzzah!