CHAPTER

30

Kindle did not return to his garden fertilization. Instead, we returned to our room to cement our new understanding by attempting a rather risqué position Camille had explained to me over a glass of sherry one afternoon in the parlor of Joe Fisher’s boardinghouse. I’d told her it sounded not only disgusting, but highly improbable.

Johns pay extra for it, but good luck getting a husband to do it.

She didn’t know Kindle. After his initial shock at the request, he acquiesced, eagerly and enthusiastically. Turns out, it was neither disgusting nor improbable, once we found the most comfortable position.

We were sweaty and naked, chests heaving, staring at the ceiling of our cabin. “My God,” Kindle said.

“What?”

“If you ever anger me in public, I merely need to think of you in private to forgive you.”

“You do know we won’t be able to keep this pace up forever.”

“Why not?”

“Some doctors think too much sex is bad for your humors.”

“They’re clearly insane.”

“They’ve clearly never had good sex.” I placed a hand over my heart and felt it beating slow. “So, tell me: do you want to stay?”

Kindle looked down his body at me. “Do you?”

I nodded. “I’m tired of moving.”

He ran his hand up and down my bare thigh. “So am I. It will give us time to settle in with each other.”

“To get to know each other, you mean?”

He smiled and nodded. “It’s obvious we need to, don’t you think?”

“What if we find we don’t like each other unless we’re in mortal peril?”

“Then we’ll go West and become outlaws, of course.”

I nudged his shoulder with my foot. “I guess I’ll be the gunfighter since I’m a better shot than you.”

“I’m better with a knife.”

“Which makes us the perfect outlaw pair. We already have the name.”

“That we do. I doubt it will come to that. Remember, we fell in love before everyone started trying to kill us.”

“True.”

“Staying here will give me the chance to fatten you up a bit,” he said.

“I thought you liked me svelte.”

“I need a little something to hold on to right here,” he said, squeezing my hipbone. “Don’t fret. I’ll still call you Slim.”

“What a relief.” I took Kindle’s hand and intertwined our fingers. “What did you do here before?”

“Much of what Patrick suggested tonight. A steward, essentially. I took the property management off of Mary’s shoulders, allowing her more time to focus on the girls.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“I did. More than I expected. John was brought up to run the plantation. I was destined for the Army from the cradle, but I couldn’t help but learn some of what my father did. He was a cruel master, but adept at management and accounts. I was shocked with the amount of money left after my father died.”

“What happened to it?”

Kindle gestured to the air. “I gave it to the church, and this is the result.”

I sat up. “Your inheritance bought this orphanage?”

Kindle nodded. “Patrick brought it to the church and they gave him a portion to do with as he saw fit. This is the result.”

“Did he do this for Mary?”

“Why do you say that?”

“It’s obvious they’re in love, or once were.”

“Perceptive woman.”

“For how long?”

“Since childhood. My father arranged a marriage for Mary with a neighbor. A rich old man whose wife died without giving him children. Of course, half of the slave children were his, but everyone overlooked that. No white children to inherit, so my father offered Mary.” Kindle pillowed his head on his arm. “She was sixteen. Father knew Mary and Pat were in love and didn’t approve.”

“Why?”

“Because he wouldn’t benefit from the marriage. Pat was my mother’s sister’s boy, and they had no land. My father planned Mary’s marriage for after Pat went off to West Point and wouldn’t know until it was over.”

I lay down on my side and propped my head on my hand. I’d never had such a view of his feet before. I wrinkled my nose. “Your toenails are obscene, William. Do you ever cut them?”

He playfully stuck his foot in my face. I pushed it away with a disgusted scream, sat up, and lay my head on the pillow next to him. “Finish your story. Maybe it will help me forget the disaster that is your feet.”

Kindle stared at the ceiling as if the story was written there. “My mother seemingly went along with my father. She and Mary left for Washington to get her wedding clothes but instead of shopping, Mother took her to a convent in Pennsylvania. My father was too afraid of hell to go against the church. But, he wasn’t too afraid of hell to make my mother pay. It didn’t help I chose the week they left for Washington to help Cotter Black escape.”

“What did Pat do when he found out?”

“Nothing. He finished West Point, then took orders. Became an Army chaplain.”

“Tragic lovers thwarted by families and circumstances. How very Gothic.”

Kindle chuckled. “I’ve never thought of Mary and Patrick as tragic lovers.”

“Kept apart by family, now they’re kept apart by pride and solemn vows. They’re a textbook case.” I rolled on top of Kindle and straddled him, raking my fingers through his thick chest hair. “So we are decided: stay here until the spring.”

“Yes.”

“I would like to write to my cousin, to tell her I’m alive and happy.”

Kindle ran his hands up my hips to my waist. “Are you?”

“Immensely.”

“She will keep your correspondence secret?”

“Oh, yes. I will write the letter in one of our old secret codes. She’ll be thrilled. It’ll add a nice bit of variety to her routine.”

Kindle sighed and dropped his arm to the bed. “Damn.”

“What?”

He flipped me onto my back and kissed me quickly. “I forgot the cow.”

“What?”

He rose and pulled on his pants and boots. “I left the cow outside.”

“It will be fine until the morning.”

“She needs to be fed and watered so she’ll be ready for Sophia to milk in the morning. And, the horses need to be tended to.”

“Starting your job already?”

“I guess so.” He pulled his shirt over his head and put on his vest. He leaned down to kiss me. “I won’t be long.”

“I’ll be asleep.”

“I’ll wake you up.”

“Are you ever satisfied?”

“Not yet.” He winked at me and opened the door. Sophia stood outside, arm raised to knock, a startled expression on her face. Over Kindle’s shoulder she saw me sprawled out naked on the bed. She blushed, turned, and fled.

Kindle glanced at me. “Do you want me to go after her?”

I rose and started to get dressed. “What would you say? I apologize for you seeing my naked wife? I’ll go. I have a feeling I know what she wants to talk about.”

The house was dark, with only the small glow of light visible in Mary’s study. I walked up the stairs of the porch and followed it around the house, expecting to find Sophia at every turn. It was silent and empty. She’d either gone inside to bed or was somewhere on the grounds. I didn’t know the grounds well enough to search in the dark and I didn’t want to risk walking through the dormitory and waking up the children. Whatever Sophia had wanted to speak about would have to keep.

I walked back to the cabin and found Sophia waiting. She rose when she saw me. When I was close enough to make out her face, I saw the slight blush on her features.

“Come inside, it’s chilly,” I said.

The newspaper I’d left on the table next to A Tale of Two Cities had been refolded incorrectly. “Did you enjoy the article?” I nodded to the paper.

“It’s about you and Mr. William?”

“Yes.”

Her head jerked back, as if surprised I’d told her the truth. “You’re a doctor? I thought you were a whore.”

“A whore? Why would you think that?”

“You were in there for three days, and noisy about it.”

“You delivered the food and wine?”

She nodded.

“You thought I was a whore because I enjoyed being with my husband?”

“I heard Sister Magdalena talking to Mr. William. She thought you were, too.”

“I’m not.”

I would speak with Mary about that later, but at the moment I was more interested in the fact Sophia had focused on a throwaway detail about my profession at the beginning of the story instead of the purple prose about bounty hunters, whisky traders, and Indians. “I’m a doctor, but it’s not safe for me to practice.”

“’Cause there’s not many woman doctors.”

“Precisely.”

“Are you going to stay and teach midwifery?”

I narrowed my eyes at the girl. “How do you know that?”

“I overheard you talking.”

“You mean you eavesdropped, as you eavesdropped on Mary and William. It’s a nasty habit, Sophia, eavesdropping.” Sophia lifted her chin in defiance but I could see embarrassment around the edges of her expression. “You want to learn midwifery?”

“No. I want to be a doctor.”

My mouth opened and closed like a beached fish as I tried to find the words to respond. Sophia’s defiance expanded, filled the room, covered me with shame. I looked away and said, “How long have you wanted to be a doctor?”

“I didn’t know it was possible until I heard you were one.”

A germ of pride swelled in my breast. I’d always hoped my accomplishments would inspire other women to follow my footsteps. Here I was, confronted with the first, and all I could think of were the obstacles in her way. “Sophia, deciding to be a physician isn’t something you do on a whim. Do you realize how difficult it will be?”

“You saying I’m not smart enough?”

“I hardly know you well enough to make that determination. But, I’ll assume you are. I’m not speaking of the coursework, though it will be difficult. You are a woman, and a Negress. It’s difficult enough for women to be accepted into the proper schools. It will be nearly impossible for you.”

“I cannot go back into service.”

“Is it you don’t enjoy the work—”

“Of course I don’t enjoy carrying people’s piss-and-shit pot down the stairs every morning, noon, and night.”

I couldn’t fault her for that. “Do you know you’ve been placed with a family in Chicago?”

She nodded. “I’ll run away the first chance I get. Chicago is as good a place as any to start out.”

I massaged my right hand and considered the young woman. Her near future scrolled in front of my eyes: Sophia stealing a small valuable from her employer to fund her escape, being found, arrested, and thrown into jail or even hanged if she was too greedy. If she survived, she would be turned out onto the streets and most likely end up selling her body to survive.

Kindle spoke highly of Sophia’s intelligence, and she had a streak of independence and defiance critical to succeeding in a field such as medicine. And, I liked her.

“I’ll speak to Mary in the morning. I cannot promise anything, but I will try to convince her to delay your departure for a month to learn midwifery.” Sophia opened her mouth to protest, but I continued. “In that month, you have to prove yourself to me that you truly want to be a doctor. And, you have to prove to Sister Magdalena you deserve the opportunity to be more than a maid.”

“How do I do that?”

“Work hard and perform so brilliantly she can’t deny you the chance.”

“Why do I need her? You can help me.”

“Only to a point. I’m dead, remember? If you want to go to medical school, Sister Magdalena and Father Ryan will be the ones to get you in. Not me.”

Sophia chewed her bottom lip.

“This is the first and easiest obstacle you’ll face. Giving up already?”

She straightened. “No. I’ll do whatever you say.”