At a quarter past four, Andrew sat in Lady Dersingham’s drawing room, waiting for her to come downstairs. He had sent a letter only a few days prior, asking her to accompany him on a carriage ride, and unsurprisingly, she said yes. Now all he needed to do was figure out how to hold a conversation with her.
The door opened and Andrew stood as Lady Dersingham entered the room. She looked absolutely stunning—her pale blue walking dress was trimmed with silver embroidery, and her hair was braided and pinned in an elegant chignon. Crossing the room, she curtsied, lowering her eyes.
“Lady Dersingham, it is lovely to see you again. You’re looking well today.”
“As are you. I must say I am rather looking forward to our ride today.” The corners of her lips twitched in the briefest hint of a smile.
“That makes both of us. I arranged for the barouche, since the weather is nice today.”
The weather had grown increasingly warmer since his and Jeremy’s journey to the city. Part of that could be attributed to the fact that it was now late April, but even so, the temperature was warmer than usual.
Lady Dersingham took a step toward the drawing room door. “Shall we, then?”
“Of course.”
She led as they made their way out of the drawing room and down the entrance hall. A footman held the door open, and Andrew held Lady Dersingham’s hand as she descended the stairs and walked over to the carriage. The barouche had been his uncle’s, and he had kept it in excellent condition. The red painted exterior was trimmed in black, while the interior was decked in cream. It was a vehicle meant to be seen and served as a symbol of status and money, though Richard hadn’t cared about either. As they approached the carriage, Andrew opened the door and helped Lady Dersingham inside before climbing in after her.
Lady Dersingham settled back against the cushioned seat. “You’ve got a fine carriage, Lord Cardwell.”
“Thank you. My uncle spent a good deal of time selecting the materials. He chose everything from the colours to the type of wood used.”
“Goodness. That must have taken some time.”
Andrew nodded. “Months.”
“It certainly must have been a point of pride for him, having everyone see what a luxurious vehicle he helped create.”
“Perhaps. Uncle Richard tended not to concern himself with what others thought of him. The fixtures of the carriage he chose because he liked them, not because he knew others would.”
“Your family has always been interesting in that respect.” Lady Dersingham’s tone was teasing, but Andrew wanted to push past the jest and see if she could match him in conversation.
“In what respect? Not caring what others think? You’re right, of course, with the exception of Phoebe.”
“Perhaps in not concerning yourself with the opinions of others, you left her vulnerable. She has always taken to heart others’ opinions of her.”
Andrew had never thought of it that way. Phoebe had always done well for herself—she’d always had the nicest dresses, the best manners, and she’d secured a good match for herself. All of that certainly couldn’t have been easy when the rest of the family didn’t give a whit about society’s expectations.
“She seems to have done quite well,” he started.
“I happen to agree. Her marriage to Lord Ashford seems to be incredibly advantageous. That being said, I have no doubt that securing such an arrangement came with some difficulty.”
Andrew frowned. “How do you mean?”
Lady Dersingham met his gaze, and then lowered her own. “I’m afraid that is not for me to say.”
“No, do go on. You have insight here that the rest of my family does not.”
“I cannot, Lord Cardwell. It would not be appropriate.”
“I care little of what is appropriate in conversation and what is not, especially when you and I have known each other as long as we have.”
Something of a rueful smile crossed Lady Dersingham’s lips. “Of that I am aware. That is precisely the sort of impropriety that Lady Ashford would have had to overcome. A woman’s reputation is an extension of her family’s, you see.”
Andrew did see. Or rather, he was starting to. “And what of my younger cousin, Thea? Do you believe she has fewer prospects due to her family?”
“That question is hardly one that I could answer. I do not possess the ability to see the future.”
“If you were to wager a guess, though.”
Lady Dersingham considered the question, her expression pensive. “At Lady Hastings’ dinner party, you mentioned that your cousin has taken an interest in sciences, particularly astronomy.”
She paused, no doubt considering her words with care. Andrew wished that she would simply speak her mind, but that was far too much to ask.
“A young woman should aspire to be accomplished,” she continued. “Learning to dance, embroider, speak Latin, all of these should be commended. Having said that, a man does not want a blue-stocking for a wife. He wants a wife who can manage the home.”
“And what of her leisurely pursuits?”
“As I have said before, I see nothing wrong with leisurely pursuits, so long as they’re practical.”
Andrew nodded. “What of a diversion such as painting? Watercolours, and the like?”
“Like your friend, Mr. Leighton.” Something in Lady Dersingham’s tone set Andrew on edge, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.
“He paints portraits, yes. I know many accomplished women who enjoy painting, though.”
“My governess did attempt to teach me how to watercolour, but I must confess I did not care for it. The colours were far too unpredictable and mixed in ways they were not supposed to. I put aside art entirely as soon as I could.”
“I see. You mentioned at the dinner party that your passion was in caring for your home. Have you any other enjoyments?”
Lady Dersingham looked back at him, bewildered. “Of course. I enjoy visiting with my friends, going to dinner parties and assemblies, picking fabrics for new dresses, and the like. Women always enjoy these things. It’s the men who would rather not hear about them, so we discuss them among ourselves, and not with you.”
“I see,” he said, keeping his face impassive.
Lady Dersingham was a smart woman—smart enough to run the household of a man who was twice as dull as she was. Far too smart to be limited to household affairs and gossiping with the rest of the ton. She deserved to be with a man who fully appreciated her talents in running a household. That man wasn’t Andrew.
His uncle’s words came back to him, just as they had months before, at Avery. That’s what you want to look for, Andrew. Someone who challenges you. Someone who makes you want to be better. Lady Dersingham had the potential to be that someone. If she let herself, she could be his equal. Andrew knew, though, that she would never let herself. She would always aspire to be the perfect housewife. Jeremy’s face appeared unbidden in his mind, and Andrew knew then exactly the kind of person his Uncle Richard had been referring to. Jeremy, who had forced him to confront his past and try to work through it; Jeremy, who encouraged him, who challenged him; Jeremy, who made him want to be better.
As they rounded the corner into Hyde Park, Andrew knew one thing for certain—he couldn’t marry Lady Dersingham. Even if that meant that he would never please Phoebe or have an heir, he simply could not see himself spending the rest of his life with her. He took a breath, feeling as though a weight had been lifted off his chest. Now he just had to figure out how to tell Lady Dersingham.
***
As Jeremy entered the drawing room, he was surprised to find Andrew already there. A tall, square table had been brought in and covered with a sheet, and Andrew hovered over it, a curved chisel in one hand. His tailcoat was draped across the nearby chair, leaving him in only his shirtsleeves, cravat, and waistcoat. Jeremy crossed the room and looked down at the slab of wood that Andrew was working on. So far, all he could see was the outline of trees.
“What is the scene going to be?” he asked.
“Bird’s Marsh.”
Where they had been when Andrew had offered him the commission. Certainly that was a coincidence.
Andrew set the chisel down and blew the wood dust off the carving, then turned to face Jeremy.
“How was Lady Cowper’s literary salon?” he asked.
“I had the most amazing time,” Jeremy answered. He practically buzzed with excitement. “We discussed Lord Byron’s works, particularly Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, and she introduced me to William Blake.”
Andrew had never heard of the man. “You sound as though you’ve had a productive afternoon. Do her salons normally last so late?”
“Not exactly, no. I stayed after to show Lady Cowper some of my sketches.”
“And?”
Jeremy frowned. Andrew’s neutral tone sounded forced, and there was an almost resigned look in his eye. Curious, since Andrew was the one who had insisted from the beginning that they would eventually go their separate ways.
“She thought my technique was solid and that my sketches showed real promise. According to her, I should have no problem securing a position in the Royal Academy’s Schools if I find well-connected patrons who could put in a good word for me.”
Lady Cowper had been just as encouraging at the salon as she had been at the dinner party. Jeremy had expected the salon to be filled with peers and well-established artists, but when he arrived, he was surprised to find there were just as many men and women who were of common birth and had few connections. Lady Cowper seemed to be the kind of person willing to take a risk on new talent, whether that talent was in art, writing, or theatre.
Taking a seat on the edge of the settee, Jeremy looked up at Andrew. “How did your outing with Lady Dersingham go?” he asked.
“We had a pleasant carriage ride. She is an intelligent woman, well-bred. She will make an excellent wife.”
Jeremy’s chest ached, and he swallowed hard. Andrew wasn’t cruel enough to taunt him with the fact that their relationship was soon coming to an end, and yet here he was, singing Lady Dersingham’s praises. Andrew turned away from the table and leaned against it, facing him.
“What do you think of this carving?”
The question took Jeremy aback, and he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, worrying it. He stood and walked over to the table, looking down at the wood. The cuts that Andrew had made were precise and smooth. The rest of the scene had been hand-traced in pencil.
“Carving is not my forte. I learned the basics in my course, but I much preferred paint and charcoal. You’ve created a detailed scene, so I would make sure your knives are razor sharp, and I like the intricacy of i—”
The rest of his words were muffled as Andrew cut him off with a kiss. It took a moment for him to comprehend what had happened, but he cupped Andrew’s cheek and kissed back, his lips parting. There was a certain desperation that Jeremy couldn’t quite place, as though Andrew never wanted to let go of him. Eventually, though, he did, and Jeremy blinked up at him.
“What was that for?”
“For challenging me.”
“Forgive me, I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
“Lady Dersingham will make a fine wife, indeed, but not for me. I realised that on our carriage ride today. My uncle, when we discussed marriage, told me to look for a person who challenges me, and makes me want to be better. Lady Dersingham is intelligent, but she has no aspirations above being a housewife. She would never allow herself to question anything I said or did.” Andrew rested his forehead against Jeremy’s. “You, on the other hand, question everything I say and do. And I am grateful for it.”
Jeremy smiled and pressed a peck to Andrew’s lips. Then he realised the full weight of what Andrew had said, and the smile faded. He wasn’t going to marry Lady Dersingham. At first, that news sounded incredible, but Jeremy knew what it would mean for Andrew, and the rest of his family. As much as he wanted to hear that Andrew wanted to be with him, it would be a mistake.
“I cannot begin to tell you how much I have wanted to hear you say you aren’t marrying Lady Dersingham,” he said carefully. “I dislike her immensely, especially after our interaction at the dinner party.”
Andrew frowned. “What interaction?”
Right. He hadn’t told Andrew about that, and for good reason. Although it hardly mattered now. “I introduced myself to her, and she told me that your sponsorship would only last the Season. She wouldn’t have you sponsoring me after you married.”
“She hardly had the right,” Andrew started.
Jeremy held up his hand. “I am aware of that, but let me finish. I will not deny that I do not like her. That being said, I worry that you haven’t thought this through. Say you decide not to marry Lady Dersingham, what happens to Avery? Sure, you’ve already got your aunt and cousin taken care of, but you said the reason you were getting married in the first place was to ensure Avery stayed within the family.”
“That I did.” The look on Andrew’s face said that Jeremy had been right. He hadn’t thought this through. The silence between them stretched, and Andrew pursed his lips before letting out a frustrated growl. “I don’t want to marry!”
“I don’t want you to marry, but the fact of the matter is that if you do not, Avery will fall to the next male heir, who is…”
“A second cousin, at the moment. More than likely his son.”
“If you had no son, who would the property go to, were it not entailed?”
“Ideally, I would like Thea to inherit Avery. It would go to her husband when she married, but if she were to never marry, that would ensure she always had a place to live.”
The arrangement made sense, practically. There was only the matter of the entailment. “Is there any way that the cousin who would inherit Avery would agree to break the entailment?” he asked.
Andrew shook his head. “Not likely. Avery is known for its horses. The property would be a steady income source, if nothing else.”
There was no other solution, then. Andrew would have to marry and produce an heir. Even if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jeremy, which was unlikely, there was no way that he would be able to do that and keep Avery Manor.
“I will have my solicitor look at my grandfather’s will, and the documents of the estate,” Andrew said finally.
It was clear that Andrew wasn’t giving up so easily, but Jeremy resigned himself to the fact that eventually, Andrew would have to marry. Whether he married Lady Dersingham or someone else was beside the point. But until Andrew figured out his next step, Jeremy decided he was going to enjoy the time he had with him, especially now that it seemed Andrew finally saw a future for them.