I HAD GRAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS WISE to show up at the rec hall that night, but Roz convinced me it was the thing to do.
“You’ve got to come, Linda. The rec hall’s the place where all the kids who work at the Grandview have a chance to get together. All the waiters, waitresses, and busboys will be there. We hang out in the back, get free sodas, kid around, and dance. It’s great fun, and if you don’t come, there will be nothing to do but stay in our room by yourself. You’ll be considered an outcast by everyone. Besides, I want you to meet Mel, the boy I’ve got my eye on for this summer’s romance. I need you there for moral support.”
Once Roz put it that way, I really couldn’t refuse. I certainly didn’t want to spend the summer as an outcast, sitting alone in my room each night. I began to get ready, changing from the shorts and T-shirt I had worn during the day to my favorite pair of jeans and a good blouse. I ran a comb through my shoulder-length light brown hair and put on just enough makeup to bring out the blue of my eyes.
“You look great!” Roz said as she looked me over. “Those jeans really emphasize your figure. Petite but adorable.”
“Thanks,” I said gratefully. Roz, who knew how to dress for any occasion, was blessed with smooth, clear skin and honey-colored hair and eyes. Although she was as short as I was, her body had developed curves in all the right places to give her a very sexy appearance. A compliment from her was worth something.
Still, I was somewhat nervous as I followed Roz into the rec hall, a large room with tables where people could sit, eat, and drink. In the front was a stage where the hotel’s band played popular music, and also an area for dancing.
“The back table in the corner is reserved for staff,” Roz told me as she led me in that direction. I saw some college-age kids I didn’t know sitting there, and I hung back a bit shyly. But there was nothing shy about Roz. In the two days she had spent in the country before my arrival she seemed to have gotten to know everyone.
“I’d like you all to meet my friend, Linda,” she announced breezily. “Linda, this is Cindy, Alice, and Karla, all waitresses. The guys, who are either waiters or busboys, are Jim, Harvey, John, and”—she paused and took a deep breath before she said the last name—“this is Mel Rhodes.”
I looked at Mel, and it was easy to see why Roz was attracted to him. He really was good-looking, with dark, curly hair, thick eyebrows, and eyes that were deep and blue. But you could tell by the conceited air he had about him that he was fully aware of his good looks, and that turned me off. I never cared much for boys who were so in love with themselves that they had no interest in anyone else. My initial instinct was that Roz was on the road to heartbreak if she fell for Mel.
“Hi, Linda. Come join our group.” Mel moved aside so that Roz and I could squeeze in next to him. Roz struck up a conversation with him immediately, and I was left to listen to it, plus the bits and pieces of other conversations that floated to me from around the table. No one was talking to me directly.
Feeling a bit awkward and out of place, I tuned out the conversations and listened instead to the music. The band was playing an old, slow Beatles song I loved, and I found myself rhythmically moving and swaying.
“Hey, how about standing up and doing that together with me?” a male voice asked. It was Dave, smiling at me, his hand outstretched. I took it and got up to dance with him. I did love to dance, and by that time I was happy to leave the group at the table that seemed to have no interest in mc.
Dave took me into his arms and led me across the dance floor with such skill that I was surprised. I guess that was because I was so used to Lenny, who really didn’t like to dance and only went through the motions to please me.
I was a little over five feet tall, and Dave was probably only five or six inches taller, but this proved an asset when it came to dancing with me. His movements were strong and sure, yet gentle. We glided together comfortably, true partners in our motions, as if dancing was something we had done together many times in the past.
“I knew we’d be great together.” Dave smiled at me when the music ended.
“We do seem to dance well together,” I replied.
“How about another?” he asked as the band began another song, a fast one this time.
“Sure, why not?” There obviously was no harm in a fast dance. We hardly touched each other, just moved to the music, separate and yet together, and aware of each other’s presence the entire time.
When that dance was over there was another fast song, and another slow one followed. By that time it seemed to be taken for granted that Dave and I would be dancing together for as long as the band kept playing, and I seemed to be firmly affixed in his arms.
I was so comfortable that I let my head rest on his shoulder. I found myself closing my eyes.
That’s when I felt a tapping on my back and heard my name repeated frantically. My eyes flew open, and I saw the interruption was caused by Roz.
“Linda,” she said, “the desk clerk just came in and said he was looking all over for you. There’s a long-distance call for you, person to person, and supposedly very urgent. Can you get to the phone right away?”
“Phone? Urgent?” I blinked, for I hadn’t been expecting anyone to call. And then I realized who was the only one who could be calling me. “Lenny!” I said aloud. “It’s got to be Lenny!”
* * *
I took the call in the upstairs corridor right outside my room. I figured I would have more privacy there than by the noisy front desk.
“Hello?” I was all out of breath from running.
“Hi, baby.” The sound of Lenny’s voice was enough to send shivers through me. “What took you so long to get to the phone?”
“I was in the rec hall. They wouldn’t interrupt the band by using the loudspeaker system in there, so the desk clerk had to come find me in person.”
“Rec hall? What’s that?”
“A room where they have social activities like dancing to a live band each night to entertain the guests. That’s where the kids who work here hang out.”
“Oh. And whom were you dancing with?”
“Oh, mostly with this guy Dave.” I hoped my voice sounded casual and unaffected. “He’s a junior at U. Mass. and has the job of social director for the summer. He loves to dance.”
“Oh, he does, does he? And does he know that you’re already taken—by me?”
“Of course, Lenny. I tell everyone I have a boyfriend right away so nobody will get the wrong idea. There’s nothing between Dave and me.”
“There better not be. I don’t want to have to leave the navy and come up to New Hampshire to take care of some punk from Massachusetts who tries to steal my girl!”
“Don’t be silly, Lenny,” I said nervously. “You know I’m completely loyal. Now tell me what’s going on with you. What is it that was so urgent?”
“Urgent? Oh, that was just my way of getting them to make sure to find you. There’s really nothing much going on here. School’s as tedious and boring as ever. Communications sounds like a good field, but the more I get into it, the more I don’t like it. Sometimes I think the only reason I continue with it is to prove to you that I can finish something successfully.”
His words were very upsetting to me. It was true that I had put high hopes on Lenny’s making it in this school and being able to get a good job when he got out, but I didn’t want him to be miserable because of it. “I know you can finish something successfully,” I answered. “You got through boot camp, and you got your equivalency diploma, too. I’d like to see you get through this school, but it’s got to be because you want it, Lenny. That’s something you’ve got to decide for yourself.”
“Well, I’ve decided to stick it out—for now, at least, until I can come up with a better idea. I can handle things here as long as I know you’re being good and loyal and all that stuff up there in the country.”
“I am, I am,” I promised. “As far as I’m concerned, I’m only working here to earn some money and pass the time until we can be together again.”
“That’s great to hear! I’ve got to go now. Remember I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I stood there holding on to the receiver even after I heard the dial tone. Speaking to Lenny made me feel guilty about how much I had been enjoying the time with Dave.
“So there really is a Lenny. And you really do fancy yourself in love with him.”
Startled, I whirled around when I heard the voice. There was Dave standing behind me, this strange look on his face. How much of my conversation had he overheard? “W-what are you doing here, Dave?” I asked.
“Well, the desk clerk said the call was urgent, so I figured I would make sure that everything’s all right.”
“Everything’s fine. That was Lenny, my boyfriend, calling me from the navy.”
“Oh. And did he say anything about coming up here to see you?”
“No. He can’t. He’s going to school in Florida.”
“Good. Then we can continue to do as we please.” He grinned impishly.
“Dave! I told you Lenny and I were serious!”
“Sure you did. But right now he’s where he is, and we’re here. So why don’t we enjoy ourselves and do some more dancing?”
Part of me felt that it was wrong to be enjoying myself when Lenny was stuck there in the navy, but another part of me did not. After all, how would it benefit Lenny for me to be unhappy? Dancing was a harmless activity, and I might as well have as good a time as possible this summer.
I went back to the rec hall with Dave.
* * *
Lenny wrote me almost every other day and called me at least once a week. Things didn’t seem to be getting any better in school, but he was still hanging in there. He missed me terribly and longed for the day we could be together again.
I missed him, too, but I was enjoying my work in the country. On nice days, with swimming, boating, fishing, and playing outside on the playground equipment, the time went by fast. Rainy days were more difficult, as we were stuck in the kiddy camp building, trying to keep anywhere from six to twelve kids busy indoors. Usually Dave and Perry, who didn’t have much to do when it rained, would come to our rescue by showing a movie in the rec hall, and we would take the kids to see it.
Camp lasted until three in the afternoon; then Roz and I were off until five-thirty. We ate our meals with the kids in the children’s dining room and then were responsible for them until seven-thirty, when the adults finished dinner. The rest of the evening was our own. Sometimes there was an adult movie at night, or a bingo game, or a special show that we could go to. There was always dancing in the rec hall, or sometimes a group of kids would get together and walk the few blocks into town to get something to eat at Sam’s Cafe or Tony’s Pizza. There we would meet up with kids who worked at some of the other hotels in the area.
Wherever I went, Dave always managed to make an appearance. He would stop off at kiddy camp to joke around whenever he had a spare moment. He would invite me for dance lessons at the pool during my time off. He would offer to buy me sodas or ice cream or pizza and suggest we take long walks together to watch the sunset. He was always smiling, always pleasant, always attentive, and he made it perfectly clear he’d like to get something going with me, if only I would give him the chance.
I have to admit I was flattered by his attention. It was a long time since I had been pursued by anyone, and Dave was a college boy, a future lawyer, and good-looking, too. Besides, I liked him. We had great conversations together, and a lot of fun. As long as I kept reminding him that I was serious about Lenny and was only interested in friendship from anyone else, I figured I had the situation under control.
I figured wrong. It didn’t matter to Dave that I had a boyfriend. “I know all about Lenny,” he would say when I reminded him of the fact because he was still holding my hand long after the dance we had been dancing had ended. “But there’s nothing wrong with holding hands—it’s a friendly thing to do.”
“Well, as long as you know it’s only because we’re friends.” Eventually I gave in to him and let him hold my hand. I didn’t want to make Dave feel bad, and I really did like holding hands with him. The physical contact gave me a nice, warm feeling of closeness.
Of course, once I went along with hand-holding, it was that much harder to say no to other forms of physical contact. What was the harm if he put his arm around my chair while the movie was showing? What was the harm if he put his arm around me when we walked to Sam’s Cafe?
It was the night that Roz finally made a connection with gorgeous Mel Rhodes that things started changing. It was more than two weeks since camp had begun, and Roz had been working on getting Mel to notice her the entire time. A group of us had gone together to Sam’s, and she had managed to wind up sitting next to Mel and sharing an ice cream sundae with him. I was glad to see them getting on so well, because I knew how much Roz liked him. After a while Roz came over to me and said, “I have to go to the ladies’ room, Linda. Want to go, too?”
I was about to tell her that if I needed the ladies’ room, I was quite capable of getting there on my own, when I noticed the expression of urgency on her face. It took me a while, but I realized she needed to talk to me. I followed her to the ladies’ room in the back.
Roz closed the door behind us and checked the stalls to make sure we were alone. “Linda! You’ve got to do me the greatest favor in the world!”
“I do? And what’s that?”
“Stay out of our room for a while. Mel has agreed to come up there with me, and I want some time alone with him.”
“Stay out of our room? But it’s almost eleven o’clock, Roz, and I’m already getting tired. Where am I supposed to go so late?”
“Well, the band plays till midnight, and there’s always someone hanging around to dance. And then I thought maybe you could hang out at Dave and Perry’s room.”
“What? Are you crazy, Roz? They’re boys, you know!”
“Of course I know. But they’re good guys—you can trust them not to try anything you wouldn’t want them to do. And this is so important to me, Linda. Pl-eease! I may never get a chance like this with Mel again.”
I was about to tell her that if this was her only chance with Mel, their relationship couldn’t be worth very much, but I thought better of it. Roz had been obsessed with Mel ever since her first day at the Grandview, and she was counting on me to help her do what she thought she needed to do to get him. If I said no and it didn’t work out for her, she’d never forgive me.
“Okay, Roz. The room is yours until midnight. After that I’m coming up to sleep.”
She hugged me. “Thanks, Linda. You always were a great friend.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you company,” Dave assured me when Sam’s closed up, and I told him why my room was off limits. “Why don’t we go sit by the pool? It’s a beautiful night, and those lounge chairs are really comfortable.”
I hesitated. I remembered Lenny’s warning to me about romantic moonlit summer nights. But everyone else was gone already, and I certainly didn’t want to spend this time by myself. I had always been able to keep Dave under control before. “Okay,” I agreed. “But keep in mind that this is just another ‘friendly’ thing to do.”
“Of course,” he replied. “Although I’m beginning to think that my name is ‘just friends’—you say it to me so often.”
“I have to be sure you don’t get the wrong idea,” I said. With that warning, I let him take my hand and lead me along the dark path to the pool.
As Dave had noted, it really was a beautiful night. The moon was a round silver ball, and the stars sparkled against the backdrop of mountain peaks opening up to the endless sky. Dave had the key to the pool storage area, and he got us cushions for the lounge chairs and thick towels to ward off the chill of the night.
We each took a lounge and lay back, watching the stars and listening to the sound of the band playing the last few songs of the evening. Then the only music was the sounds of the country night—the chirping of the crickets, the hooting of an owl, the rustling of the leaves in the summer breeze. The rest of the hotel was sleeping. There was only Dave and me.
I let him hold my hand because it felt good to do so. We talked softly of small things that had happened during the day, and then we were silent. I was very aware of the nearness of him, and yet of the separation between us that had to be.
The New Hampshire night grew colder, and I shivered even under the thick towel.
“Cold?” Dave picked up on this right away.
“Uh-huh.” I shivered again. “I guess it’s because I’ve been still for so long.”
“Why don’t you come sit with me, and I’ll warm you up?”
“With you? In your chair?”
“Yup. I won’t bite you, you know. You’ll have the heat from my body, and we’ll put both towels over us. Come on. I’m getting chilly myself.”
“Okay.” I climbed into Dave’s chair and leaned back against him. He threw the towels over me and wrapped his arms around me as well. It really was a lot warmer that way.
He put his face up against my hair, and I could hear his soft breathing. We were no closer together than we were when we danced, but somehow we seemed to be. There was something so intimate and romantic about the two of us being alone together in the moonlight. It scared me; sometimes I had feelings for Dave I didn’t want to have at all.
I forced myself to think of other things. I wondered what Lenny was doing just then. I wondered what Roz was doing with Mel up in our room. Was she kissing him, right this moment? It had been weeks since the last time I had been kissed. How I missed the touch of Lenny’s lips against mine, the wonderful feeling of being in his arms. How long would it be until I could be together with him once again?
I guess I must have sighed aloud because Dave heard me. “What’s the matter, little girl?” he whispered tenderly.
“I guess the vastness of the night makes me feel lonely,” I admitted.
“There’s no reason for you to be lonely when you’re here with me,” he answered. He tightened his hold around me, and I felt him kissing my hair and my cheek.
“Don’t,” I protested, rolling back my head to get away from him. But that exposed my neck to him, and he began kissing me there.
“Please, Linda, it’s only a kiss,” he whispered into my hair. His voice was so full of longing, it cried out to and touched the loneliness that ached inside of me. I felt myself giving in to him. It was only a kiss. It wouldn’t hurt anyone. And it felt so good.