Chapter Two

Her birthday.

Nadine turned this way and that, looking at herself in the mirror when she needed to be going downstairs to help with breakfast. She knew once she got down there Charlotte would shoo her away. It was her birthday after all. Nadine and Charlotte had never been as close as Nadine had wished for them to be, but Charlotte was kind when it came to things like special days and such.

Still, Nadine would rather be downstairs making pancakes than upstairs fretting over a number.

She was being just plain silly. She told herself that time and again, but she couldn’t seem to make herself believe it. Why did it bother her?

She had no idea. Nothing other than getting old seemed to make a person become someone else. Not necessarily in their personality, but in their looks. She caught sight of herself nowadays, in a random mirror or the glass of a storefront and wondered who the old woman was before she realized that it was her own reflection. Had it always been that way? She couldn’t remember. Just that now she was wrinkled and old and life had passed her by when she hadn’t been watching.

She had done her best to serve the Lord and her church. She had taken casseroles to sick neighbors, helped Charlotte take care of Jenna after the accident, and done a host of other small things that she couldn’t even remember.

Maybe that was the problem. Her life was practically gone and she couldn’t remember.

Or maybe she felt this way because she hadn’t done anything big. Nothing like save a person’s life or counsel a teen who had gone astray during their rumspringa.

Why did a person feel the need to do something big with their lives? Did it matter that she had only done small things? Did a whole lot of small things equal one big thing?

“Are you going to stand there all day, or do you want to come down and eat?”

Nadine’s heart started pounding in her chest. She spun around to find Charlotte behind her, spatula in one hand as she waited for her answer.

“I-I’m coming to eat?” Nadine managed, but it came out like a question. She tugged at the waistband of her apron and started from the room.

“I called you,” Charlotte said as she followed her down the stairs.

“You did.” What should have been a question came out like a statement. What was wrong with her today?

“Several times.” Charlotte nodded. “Then I came up to make sure that you were okay.”

“I’m okay.” At least that sentence had the right tone to it.

“Are you sure?”

They walked into the kitchen together.

“Of course.” She was okay now that Charlotte had startled her from her whirling tornado of thought.

Charlotte stopped behind her chair, her hands clutching the back. She inhaled deeply as if she had a lot on her mind. “Good,” she said. Though it was the last thing Nadine had expected from her. “I want your birthday to be extra special this year.”

Nadine frowned. “Why?” She pulled out her chair and sat, scooting up to the table. Then she turned toward Charlotte and waited for her to do the same.

“Oh.” Charlotte wedged herself into her chair and smiled at Nadine. “We’ll pray,” she said with a wavering smile.

Nadine nodded. But she had the strangest feeling she was going to be doing a lot of praying in the next couple of days.

* * *

A birthday present. He had no idea what Nadine might like so he’d gone into the general store and walked down every aisle, even the ones with toys and cleaning products, trying to find something to suit her. In the end, he’d chosen something pretty, yet useful. He just hoped she would accept it in the spirit that he was giving. Maybe pretty was too strong a word. It was bright, colorful, and cheery. That had to be something.

Amos parked his tractor beside two others and wondered who all was going to be here today. He had half-listened to Jenna as she’d done her rundown of the guest list, but for the life of him, other than the twins, he couldn’t remember a soul she had named. But if the number of tractors was any indication, at least some of the other guests had already arrived.

The thought made his heart pound a little harder in his chest. He had done his best to control his growing feelings for Nadine Burkhart, but he knew that God had brought them together. He also knew he couldn’t say that to Nadine. Not if he ever wanted to see her again. If he said those words to her, she would run for the hills, or at the very least head for the police station and get one of those fancy Englisch orders to keep him away. He couldn’t remember the name of them, but he had heard a couple of ladies talking about them in line at the Super Cost Saver grocery store.

All this wondering wasn’t doing anything for his restlessness. His heart still beat a little too fast, and his breathing was shallow. He needed to appear cool and collected when he went in, thankful to be invited but not crazy happy that he had been included.

He stepped onto the porch and sucked in a deep breath. Then he licked the fingers of one hand and smoothed down any wayward strands of his beard before knocking on the door.

It was opened almost immediately, and Jenna stood there, fresh-faced and innocent with a chubby toddler propped on one hip.

“Amos! You made it.”

“Jenna. Good to see you again.” He took off his hat and stepped into the house. “I brought this.” He held up the present.

“For Mammi?” Jenna asked, taking the package from him.

“It’s her birthday, jah?”

Jenna nodded. “We even have cake.”

Amos couldn’t stop his chuckle. “I remember.”

“Hey, everyone.” Jenna turned to face the room at large. “Amos is here.”

The people who had been milling around the family room, talking and visiting, all stopped and turned to look at him. Not knowing what else to do, he gave a small wave then hung his hat on the last empty hook by the door.

Everyone went back to what they were doing, and Amos looked around, trying to find a familiar face. Finally, he spotted one and headed toward it.

Priscilla King smiled as he approached. “I didn’t know you knew the Burkharts.”

He nodded. “I met them at church on Sunday.”

“How is being back?”

He gave a small shrug. “You know.” He said the words though he knew she didn’t. Priscilla had lived in Wells Landing her entire life. But, years ago, he had moved down there with a couple of his brothers, ready to farm the good life with tractors. His brother Joshua had decided tractor farming wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be and moved back home. Nathaniel had died the following year in a farming accident. That had left Amos in Oklahoma by himself. By that time, he had been there long enough that he considered it home, and somehow, leaving seemed like giving up. Or maybe that was God telling him to stay. Whatever it was, he’d got it in his head that he was supposed to remain in Oklahoma while the rest of his family was in Missouri.

“Are you thinking about moving back?” Priscilla asked.

That was another thing. It seemed no matter how long he stayed in Wells Landing he still felt a little like an outsider. Most days, he felt right at home, but times like now, when he walked into an unfamiliar house and barely recognized any of the faces, he got the feeling that he had somehow missed a sign and should have returned to Missouri long ago.

“I don’t know.” He gave another small shrug, and his gaze, with no instruction from him, wandered toward Nadine. “I guess that depends.”

Priscilla looked from him to Nadine and back again. “I see.”

Amos shook his head. “It’s hard without any family here. Well, sometimes it is.”

“I bet you miss all your nieces and nephews.”

It had to be them since he had never married, never had any children of his own. He did miss them, but he had lived so far away for so long, it had sort of become the normal in his life.

“I do.” It was an easier answer by far. Then he pieced together the stories he had heard since he’d returned and all fell into place. “The camel farm. That’s your farm?”

Priscilla shook her head, still smiling. “Unbelievably, yes. But it seems to be doing good.”

Amos nodded. He remembered the hard time that Priscilla and her husband, Emmanuel, had had after the death of their son. Their once prosperous dairy farm had fallen to pieces, and there had been nothing anyone in the district could do to help them save themselves.

But it seemed like Titus Lambert had a few ideas stored away.

“And the twins are your—”

“Grandbabies.” She nodded. “They are a blessing and a handful. Thank goodness for Jenna. I don’t know what Abbie would do without her.”

Amos grew warm as all the familiar names washed over him. He had only been gone from Wells Landing for the last few months, but in reality, he hadn’t been there for much longer than that. He had checked out a while ago, going through the motions, not doing much by way of socializing or helping in his community. Well, that was over now. He was back in Wells Landing, and he was staying. At least for a while. And as long as he stayed, he was going to be a part of daily life. That included the life of one very special lady.

He looked back to where Nadine stood talking with her granddaughter and Buddy Miller, and Amos decided that he was going to start that living right now. He nodded to Priscilla and started across to Nadine.

* * *

“Don’t look now, but here he comes.” Jenna’s voice was quietly pitched, but Nadine managed to hear her all the same.

She and Buddy both turned to look. Jah, he was indeed coming. Amos Fisher, whom they had just been talking about a moment ago. What was the saying? Speak of the devil. She’d never really liked the adage, but at least now she could see where it came from.

Jenna grabbed their arms and pulled, as if to make them turn back to her. “I told you not to look.”

Buddy rubbed his arm as if he was injured but chuckled at Jenna’s theatrics. “If you didn’t want us to look, then why did you tell us?”

“I told you so you wouldn’t have to look,” Jenna returned.

But anything else she might have said was lost as Amos stopped next to them. “Hi,” he said.

The one word gave Nadine no other choice but to speak to him in return. She could have remained mute had he not started first. Seeing as how he was looking straight at her ... well, it would be rude—more than rude, truthfully—if she didn’t return his greeting.

But she must have waited too long in her thoughts, for Jenna gently elbowed her in the side.

“Don’t you have anything to say to Amos, Mammi?” Jenna wore an unnatural smile. It was too big and showed all her teeth, and had they not been clutched firmly together, Nadine was certain she would have been able to see her tonsils as well.

“Thank you for coming?” She hadn’t meant for the words to come out like a question. Why was she forever losing her composure around Amos Fisher? She was a grown woman. She had buried two husbands, raised eight children, and suffered grief alongside her daughter-in-law when Daniel had died and Jenna’d had her accident. Nadine might not have been through the trials of Job, but surely she could manage to talk to one Amish man.

“Danki for the invite.” He dipped his chin in a nod, and she noticed that when he did so, his beard reached halfway down his chest.

“I brought a gift,” he continued, waving a hand and looking around as if trying to decide where it had gone.

“I put it on the table with the other presents.”

Nadine felt the heat rise into her cheeks. He’d brought her a gift. She hadn’t wanted to have a party to begin with, and now a man she hardly knew—didn’t know at all, really—was bringing her gifts.

He turned a little pink around the ears, the color further emphasized by the white of his hair. “It’s not much.”

“I’m very grateful,” Nadine said. At least she had managed to get her voice back to normal. What was it about Amos that had her acting like she had just learned to speak English?

Those eyes, she decided. His eyes were even more intense up close. They were the mysterious color of those pale blue gems she had seen in the jewelry store window in town. A blue so bright and clear that everything about them looked fake, even the color. As if God Himself hadn’t made it. Spectacular, brilliant, all-knowing.

She pulled back the reins on her thoughts. She was letting her imagination get the better of her, something she hadn’t done since she was a young girl.

But why was he there? Or maybe the question was why had he been staring at her after church on Sunday? What was he hiding behind those brilliant eyes?

She shook her head at her fanciful thought.

“Mammi?” Jenna laid a hand on her arm, bringing her back to where she was standing. “Are you okay?”

Nadine swallowed hard and nodded, though her gaze snagged on Amos Fisher and wouldn’t turn loose.

“Thank you again for inviting me.”

She nodded, though she hadn’t been the one to invite him at all. She swallowed again but wasn’t required to speak as Charlotte rang a bell and spoke over the din of conversation happening all around.

“It’s time to play cards.”

Buddy leaned close to Jenna and said, “Candy Land would be better.”

Jenna turned a delicate shade of pink and smiled at her intended. They really were a sweet couple. And anyone could see how much in love they were.

“Grab your partner and find a seat,” Charlotte continued. “It’s double Dutch Blitz.”

“You can be Mammi’s partner.”

Before Nadine could move, Jenna had grabbed her hand and one of Amos’s and pressed them together.

She resisted the urge to pull away. She wanted to snatch her fingers from his grasp, not because his touch wasn’t pleasant, but because it was. Warm, lightly calloused, strong. Everything a man’s grip should be. Which made her want to pull away even more.

Stop. She was being ridiculous. She didn’t need to jerk away, but she couldn’t go on standing there, forcibly holding hands with him while everyone else went to the tables to start the card games.

Instead, she gently extracted her hand and found a seat at the closest table. Amos sat down across from her.

Jenna sat on one side of her and Buddy on the other. He rubbed his hands together as if anticipating the challenge to come. Buddy was like that. He loved to play games and act silly though she thought winning was secretly very important to him. She supposed growing up in a family like the Millers, with a brother such as Jonah, he probably had plenty of times when he felt he needed to prove himself. Nadine hadn’t known Gertie Miller, Jonah and Buddy’s mother, for very long, but with all the trouble Jenna and Buddy’d had from her last year when they had wanted to date, Nadine was certain the woman was overprotective of her son.

In all fairness, she was not any more protective of Buddy than Charlotte was of Jenna. Nadine supposed when a woman brought such a special child into the world, there had to be an instinct to help them survive with their differences. It was hard, but that was simply the way that it was.

“Mammi.” Jenna pulled on her sleeve, and Nadine realized that she had done it again. She had let her thoughts run away with her. Maybe that was all part of turning sixty-five. She was becoming a forgetful daydreamer.

“Jah?”

“Do you want to be the carriage or the pump?” She held up the two decks, one marked with red carriages, the other with green pumps. Of course those were the only two left. Buddy loved the color blue, and Jenna loved yellow. So they had taken the plow and the pail as their symbols. “The pump is fine,” she said, holding out a hand for the cards. Jenna passed her the pump deck, then handed the carriages off to Amos.

“Everybody ready?” Charlotte asked.

A chorus of “Jah” went up around.

Titus and Abbie along with her mamm and dat were seated at one table, Jenna, Buddy, Nadine, and Amos at the other.

“Remember, both team members have to blitz in order to stop play. Now ... go!” Charlotte rang the bell.

“Get your ones out there, Amos,” Nadine said.

“I am.” He picked up another card and studied it, then slowly placed it in the middle.

Didn’t he understand the object of the game? One of them was never going to blitz if he didn’t hurry. She quickly placed her ones in the center and checked her partner’s post piles. She tried to signal to him that he had placed two boy cards together when one needed to be a girl. And he only had two piles.

“Have you played this before?” Jenna asked, directing her question to Amos.

“It’s been a while,” he said.

Jenna smiled and shook her head, then went back to emptying her blitz pile into the center Dutch pile.

They were going to lose. Nadine knew it as surely as she knew her own name. The question was, why did she care? It was just a game.

“Blitz.” She looked pointedly at Amos. He was still studying cards. How many were in his blitz pile? He was never going to get rid of them in time.

“Blitz!” Titus cried from the other table.

“Blitz!” Jenna smiled with satisfaction.

“Blitz!” Priscilla called.

“Blitz!” Abbie raised her arms in triumph. Team Lambert had secured their spot in the play-off.

Come on, Amos, she silently urged.

But Buddy laid down his last card. “Blitz.”

They had lost.

Nadine felt herself crumple with ... relief? No, that wasn’t it. Maybe it was merely gratitude that the game was over and she could do something else for a while.

How was that for a fine birthday? She wanted to move away from her party and all because of the man across from her.

“Team Miller over here.” Charlotte waved Buddy and Jenna over to the table where Abbie and Titus still sat. Titus was shuffling his cards.

Priscilla and Emmanuel were off to one side watching as everyone got their cards ready. Amos stood next to them.

Maybe a breath of fresh air would restore her mood. She was entirely too competitive. This was a new development in her personality. It had only started after Jason died. She had realized then that she needed to be strong. God had made her strong. The Bible told her so. And she was strong. But with that strength came the need to succeed. Or in this case, win.

God is within her, she will not fall.

She had fallen today. But only a bit. It was just a game. Maybe if she kept telling herself that.

She made her way out onto the back porch and leaned against the railing.

The world was beautiful. She was at peace. It was only a game.

She drew in a deep breath.

“What are you doing out here all alone?”

She didn’t jump at the sound of his voice. She had known he was there before he spoke. Sensed him, like one of those Englisch radar things.

“I wanted to be alone.”

“On your birthday?” He braced his hands on the railing close to her, so close he was almost touching her. He could have if he’d leaned back a little or she’d stepped forward.

What was wrong with her? “Are people not supposed to be alone on their birthday?”

He studied her without answering her question. “You don’t like me very much, do you?”

“I . . . uh . . . you,” she sputtered, unable to pick one word and decide what to say from there. “Of course not.” She pulled on her apron waistband and chuckled.

“Then why are you acting like it?”

“I am not.” She flustered a bit more, but inside she knew the words to be an outright lie.

“Come on now, Nadine. We’re both adults. Do I remind you of someone?” She shook her head.

“You sure about that?”

“Of course.”

“You’re awfully sure all of a sudden.”

“You . . . you just took me by surprise there for a moment. I’m fine, and I like—don’t not like you.”

“You can’t say it, can you? You can’t say that you like me. Because it isn’t true, or something else?”

“I like you just fine,” she said.

“Good.” He grinned at her. “Let’s go out to eat tomorrow night. Keep the birthday celebration going.”

She shook her head.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

He studied her for a moment, and she shifted under that steady gaze. His eyes were mesmerizing, and she wanted to tell him not to look at her, but how childish would that be?

“You have to eat tomorrow, jah?”

She refused to answer, not understanding her own reluctance.

“Might as well come eat with me. My treat.”

She shook her head. “That sounds suspiciously like a date, Amos Fisher.”

He scratched his beard, and she wondered if the strands were as soft as they appeared. “Now that you mention it, I guess it does.”

“You see my point.”

He shook his head. “Sorry, but I don’t.”

She sighed, growing weary of fending off his advances. Why couldn’t he be like a normal Amish man and realize that she meant what she said? It wasn’t that she hadn’t been asked out over the years. That wasn’t why she had never remarried. She’d had her share of offers, but she’d had her love. She’d had her children. She’d done what any good Amish woman would do. She had fulfilled her destiny. Now it was about living every day for God, taking care of her family, and—

She pushed the final thought away. She wasn’t waiting to die. That was absurd. She was merely living the life God had handed her. And why was she arguing with herself? What had this man pushed her to?

“I am far too old to be dating, Amos Fisher.”

He took a step back as if she had shoved something bad smelling in front of him. “Old? Isn’t this your sixty-fifth birthday party?”

She managed not to wince as he said the number. “Jah.”

“That’s hardly old.”

She stiffened her chin and lifted it as if that stance alone would somehow make him understand. “You can say what you like, but I am far too old to be running around dating. As far as I’m concerned, such nonsense should be left to the young’uns.”