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WHILE SUZANNE WAS HAPPILY packing and daydreaming of fireballs in the sky, Danny and Kevin were back in the NMR room frantically trying to backtrack and erase all trace of the formula and their connection to today’s incredible discovery. Danny was still doing an incredibly sad one-man jitterbug and realized he was doing a solo act.
“Good thing you thought of running the gunk through the NMR. That will give us more information on what it is and how many impurities there are. Are you almost finished?” he asked as Kevin’s head disappeared into the bowels of the Nuclear Magnetic Resonance Spectroscopy.
A voice echoed from its depths, “Almost done deleting us.”
Frenzied, Danny started patting himself and dancing backward, away from the NMR. “I didn't know this thing could do that."
“What?”
"Uh, never mind, just hurry up." Danny giggled as he realized Kevin was deleting all of the day's analysis including the usernames and passwords used to operate the Spectroscopy. He pictured Kevin tinkering with it in such a way that they would dematerialize like something out of Star Trek.
Kevin emerged from the NMR innards.
“I’ve turned off the cameras in all the rooms and hallways we are going to be using, and I am now replaying the Memorial Day weekend feed in which all the labs and halls were deserted as they should be now. I’ve already downloaded the video feed of us making the formula to my phone. I can transfer it to something safer when we get home.”
“Hey, isn’t it going to look odd that no one has used the washing machine all day? It’s used pretty frequently,” Danny said
The NMR Spectroscopy sort of looked like a two-story washing machine on steroids with massive chunky legs, stairs, and catwalk, hence its nickname.
"Crap. In fact, there's a sign in log too that I forgot about. I never sign in, at least not with my name."
"Whose name do you use?"
“Let’s not get into names and who uses who for what right now. We’ve got more important things to worry about.”
"Who for who? I still want to know if I'm the who. Hey, couldn't you run an infinite self-test loop or something? Make it look like the washing machine went all Hal for a day?"
"You know, you amaze me, Danny. You aren't as nearly dumb as people say you are."
"Yes, well you know, sometimes I even amaze... Wait a second you asshole." Danny turned around to hit Kevin with the nearest object and saw that he had once again disappeared into the washing machine. When he re-appeared, he was smacked about the head several times by Danny at which point a slap fight broke out.
“Wait! Wait a second! We need to get samples of the formula and its ingredients out of here without being seen,” said Kevin as sanity returned to his brain after a most painful slap in the face.
"You said you've turned off all the cameras, so why can't we just walk on out? Oh, right, Tweedle Dee and Dum."
Tweedle Dee and Dum or as their name tags read, Mitchell and Roger, were the security guards for the employee entry and exit doors. They were required to search all bags, packages, etc. of everyone coming and going. The company even spent money on a body scan machine for those employees working in the ultra-secret labs, such as the one to which Kevin and Danny were assigned. Mitchell and Roger were nicknamed Tweedle Dee and Dum for obvious reasons, but they were thorough, to the point of robotic thoroughness, and Kevin and Danny knew they wouldn't be able to get past them.
“VIP doors!” Kevin and Danny said in unison.
The VIP doors, for visitors such as the board members, high fashion models, and friends of Lexi who could not be bothered to go through the employee entrance, had security cameras and a key card entry, but no guards. Both Kevin and Danny had made VIP access key cards for themselves ages ago for those much needed and well-deserved breaks in the VIP outdoor lounge area. It featured a bar and BBQ area and, more importantly during those extended breaks, extremely comfy lounge chairs and sofas. The area also had an exit to the parking lot reserved for the higher-ups, Lexi's CEO's, etc., and also had security cameras but no guards to invade the personal space of Lexi, the executive officers or their guests.
It was perfect for Kevin and Danny and their alter egos, Lucas Collins, head of advertising, and Giovanni Orio, male supermodel, respectively to as their exit. So they sprinted out of the VIP lounge area, and ran for their cars on the opposite end of the building in the riff-raff lot, as they called it, throwing the test results, ingredients, and formula in Danny's trunk. They then headed back to the VIP entrance as their alter egos, Lucas and Giovanni.
“Hey, why are we going back in?” asked Danny mid-stride.
“Because we haven’t left yet that’s why. We have to go back in to leave. Otherwise, it will look suspicious later.”
“We haven’t left yet? Then where are we right now, in building limbo?”
Kevin stopped and grabbed Danny by the arms. “Did Giovanni go to your head again and empty it?”
“Huh?” Ohhh, I see. We haven’t left. Lucas and Giovanni have left, but we are still in there,” Danny said, figuring things out. “I wonder what we, who haven’t left yet, are doing. I hope I’m eating because I could go for a huge steak right about now.”
“God, you are such a fucking idiot. Let’s hurry up and get back in so we can leave properly.”
“Wait a second. If we go back in again as us, then Lucas and Giovanni will be trapped in there, but if they aren’t actually there to be found, someone will start looking closely at the key cards entries.”
"Well, maybe you aren't such a goof, after all, Danny, I thought you were channeling Giovanni too hard and got stuck in character. You are right. We are going to have to use the emergency exit as a first time entrance. Why didn't you think of that in the first place?"
“I got confused about where and who we were.”
In the past, they had used the dock doors as an escape route for extended lunches and breaks when the VIP entrance and lounge area was clogged with annoying VIPs.
The docks had the usual sally port type doors and a second entrance for smaller packages carried in by delivery drivers. This entrance was a regular side door, which was manned during work hours but only locked after hours.
Shortly after being hired, Danny and Kevin had given themselves an after-hours grand tour of the facility and made good use of their time. They made a master key to every door in the plant and made numerous key cards of real and fictitious people. They only intended to use these keys during goof off time and looking for unoccupied offices in which to escape from Laddie. Their forward thinking initiative paid off, for they now walked through the dock’s service door and headed back to their lab, intent on making sure they had collected everything pertaining to their formula.