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ROGER AND MITCHELL were still upstairs in the lobby trying not to get shot by the ever-increasing presence of law enforcement drawn to the building by the gunfire and flashbangs. Mitchell had first spotted a sniper across the street behind a cement directory board and told Roger, “Hey we don’t have to call the police, they are already here,” waving toward the cement directory board through the glass windows of Lexi Corp. Unfortunately for Mitchell, all the sniper saw through his monocular was an individual with what appeared to be every form of weapon devised by man strapped to his body waving his arms around.
“Command from Charlie Unit 123, have eyes on one target. One heavily armed target, most likely wearing body armor. Suggest to other units to confine fire to above and below torso.”
“Message received Charlie 123. Do you see any other activity?”
“Charlie 123. Yes, there appears to be a second subject, unknown if hostile or hostage. Wait. The second subject is with the armed target; he is also armed, and pulled the first subject away from view.”
At that moment Roger had not quite a light bulb moment, but more of a night light moment. He realized that Mitchell waving his arms around while armed like Rambo might not be such a good idea and pulled Mitchell away from the lobby windows.
“What are you doing Roger, I’m trying to get their attention?” wailed Mitchell and started to head back to the windows.
“It might not be such a good idea to stick your head out there looking like that,”
explained Roger.
Mitchell twirled around and looked down at himself. “Looking like what?”
“Look at me. If you were on the SWAT team and saw me in an office building waving my arms around, what would you do?”
Mitchell looked at Roger for a moment, taking in the AR hanging from his shoulder, the shotgun slung over his back, the .40 cal. Glock in his bulletproof vest, and the extra rounds of assorted ammo wrapped around his waist like a belt. Not to mention the other three other guns in various calibers strapped to his legs and in a shoulder holster. Mitchell was confident Roger had knives of multiple sizes tucked into his boots and belt as well.
“I would think that is one fucking awesome dude, man” Mitchell said and stuck out his hand for Roger to high five him.
“Think again,” Roger said. Seeing the expression on Mitchell’s face, put his hand on his shoulder and said, “Now think harder. A man heavily armed in a cosmetics company. Good guy or a bad guy?”
Mitchell paused with his hand still in the air, high fiveless, and thought. He kept thinking of himself as a SWAT team member and drifted off until Roger smacked his hand.
“Damn it, Mitchell, I know you can do this.”
Mitchell once again looked at Roger and suddenly saw him as he was a heavily armed man. An incredibly heavily armed man, almost to the point of overkill. But no, he could see a use for everything Roger was carrying. One could never be too careful, Mitchell nearly drifted off again but caught himself. “Damn, I would cap your ass in a second. Wow, I could’ve been shot, and I’m one of the good guys.”
“Hey speaking of good guys, where are Danny and Kevin?” asked Roger.
“Last I saw of them, they were headed downstairs with Suzanne.”
“Crap on a stick, we have to help them out and somehow let the police know we are the good guys,” Mitchell said as he started for the stairs.
“STOLEN”
“What the hell was that?” Mitchell asked, turning toward the sound and simultaneously firing his shotgun. He had forgotten he was using deer slug rounds and when he fired he had not tucked the butt end of his Mossberg 590 into his shoulder and nearly tore his shoulder off when he pressed the trigger. Luckily the only thing he hit was the up button on the elevator next to the potted plant, which gave a sickly ding and was heard no more. The round must’ve struck something vital, or the doors had more common sense than the living organisms on the ground level and stayed firmly shut.
“It’s one of the guys’ phones, Mitchell. Stop firing.”
Roger dug around the potted plant, came up with Kevin’s phone and waved it over his head like a winning lottery ticket.
“Got it, and it has three signal bars” sang Roger rocking back and forth on his heels.
“Hurry up and dial. We have to find the guys.” As Mitchell said this, he heard not so stealthy footsteps coming up the stairway.
A shotgun and two Glocks were aimed at the doorway as the footsteps approached.
“Hey it sounds like two sets of footsteps. I bet it's Danny and Kevin,” said Mitchell lowering his weapons.
“Or it could be Suzanne chasing either Danny or Kevin, or Danny or Kevin chasing Suzanne, or possibly a third or fourth unknown person or persons yet not identified,” countered Roger.
“Ah, or...” Mitchell was unable to finish his next scintillating thought for Danny and Kevin appeared at the doorway, panting and just in time to see Mitchell and Roger pointing their respective weapons at each other while involved in an in-depth discussion.
“Why are you guys pointing guns at each other? Danny asked .
Kevin put up his hand in a crossing guard fashion in front of Danny. “Don’t get them started. We need their, umm expertise downstairs. Kevin turned to the guards.
“Mitchel, Roger what do you know about C-4? Wait. I don’t want to know all you know about C-4. We just need to know if you can recognize it and remove it safely.”
At this question, Mitchell and Roger lit up like six-year-olds coming downstairs on Christmas morning and seeing new bikes and a mountain of toys. However, in this case, it was a mountain of C-4.
“Yes, certainly we can. It’s usually off-white similar in appearance to modeling clay and can be used in a brick-like form or molded into different shapes. The tricky part is that it can be stuffed into cracks and other small spaces and can be overlooked if one isn’t careful,” answered Roger.
Danny and Kevin looked at each in amazement before Kevin spoke, “Great there’s some in our lab and could be in the other labs downstairs and other parts of the building. Also, Suzanne is stuck on the NMR so don’t go in there. Since both of you have more metal attached to you than Iron Man, I’d strongly suggest you stay clear of the NMR room.”
“Man, all you had to say was Suzanne was in there, and that would have been enough to keep us out, right Roger?”
“You said it, Mitchell. She is on our shit list now for destroying Betty, I mean the video surveillance system, and we have no wish to see her unless it’s behind bars.”
“It’s alright, guys,” said Kevin grasping their shoulders. “We know all about Betty and how much she means to you. If airplanes and boats are named after women, why not a video surveillance system?”
“Hey, that very nice of you to say,” Mitchell said. His voice cracked and then turned toward the stairway, sniffling.
“Come on, Mitchell, let’s find us some C4.”
With that, Roger propelled Mitchell toward the door and down into the stairwell but suddenly turned around.
“Wait, I almost forgot, Kevin, I found your phone. It was in the planter by the elevators.”
“Does it work? Did you call anyone? Are the police on their way?” Danny gushed in one breath.
“I believe it does work, to answer your first question, since I see several bars showing. No, I didn’t have I just found it shortly before you came upstairs. And finally, yes, the police are here.” As Roger finished this last sentence, Danny started running for the lobby entrance with Kevin slowly running behind him, apparently deep in thought because he stopped and turned back toward the elevators after only a few yards.
Roger and Mitchell were calling them back. “No, don’t get near the lobby windows. The police don’t understand who’s who.”
Danny screeched to a halt. “Who’s who? What do you mean who’s who? There’s me and, there’s Kevin playing living statue over there.”
“I mean I already went toward the front windows, and I’m pretty sure a red dot was going to appear on my chest,” explained Mitchell.
“Red dot? What do you mean, red dot?”
“I mean a sniper’s laser attached to a rifle aimed at my chest. They don’t know who in here are the bad guys, and who are the good guys.”
“Oh, okay. At least now we have a phone and can talk to someone and straighten this out. I’ll go tell Kevin. Do you have the phone?”
“Here you go. I guess we better get started downstairs.”
“Hey have you notice a spike in intelligence in the Tweedles since this all started or is it just me?” Danny said to Kevin after he relayed Mitchell’s information regarding the SWAT team outside.
“No, I noticed that too. I thought maybe it was my imagination.” As Kevin said this, he and Danny both turned toward the stairway entrance and saw Mitchell and Roger try to go through the doorway at the same time and get stuck Winnie the Pooh-like.
“Ah back to normal,” said Danny as he ran over and gave an almighty push to their backs. This squirted them through the doorway but caused their rifles and shotguns to interlock like teenagers’ braces during a heavy make-out session.
“Damn it, Sonuvabitch, mother fucker!” echoed throughout the stairwell.
“Well, we will leave you boys to it,” said Kevin as he steered Danny toward the VIP entrance while dialing 911.
“Why are we going out this way?” asked Danny.
“If we wait around for the police and explain everything to them, we’ll never get the formula off of Lexi’s property. What if they want to search our cars or something?
“Good thinking.”
“Yes, my name is Mitchell,” Kevin said into the phone and then had a panicked look on his face and mouthed to Danny, “What is Mitchell’s last name?”
“I don’t know,” Danny mouthed back. “Tweedle?”
At this statement, they both nearly lost it, and with great effort, Kevin regained his composure and continued with the dispatcher. “Yes sorry, this is Mitchell. I’m in the Lexi Corp. building, with a crazy woman running around with guns, but now I think she’s trapped downstairs in one of the labs. Yes, I work here as a security guard. I think she also placed explosives down in the labs and I’m checking for them now with my partner, Roger.”
Danny started imitating Roger by puffing out his chest and making or trying to make muscles with his bicep. Making a gun with his fingers and thumb, he twirled it around, blew on the “barrel” and jammed it into an imaginary holster. Kevin shook his head, gave Danny’s an almighty slap and continued with his call.
“Yes, she’s the only offender, and she’s trapped in a highly dangerous lab. It has a high magnetic field, so you need to warn your officers about going into the lab with anything metal. It would be highly dangerous if they did. It’s the NMR lab and has warning labels on the doors. You can come to the front entrance, but I’d wait for the bomb squad regarding the explosives and be careful of that woman. She’s called Suzanne Verassing, and she is still heavily armed but can’t get to her weapons right now. Sorry, I’m losing the signal now that I’m in the lab.”
Kevin ended the call, but the phone rang again. Thinking it was the police, Kevin threw it to Danny who then threw it right back. Kevin looked down and saw who was calling and answered. “He’s right here, we’re OK,” Kevin said and then handed the phone to Danny.
“Who is it?”
“Maggie.”
“Oh crap, I forgot I was supposed to go to that boring conference with her. She’s going to be super pissed.”
“Hello, stupid. You almost died, Maggie is super worried about you. Use this to your advantage.
“Babe, is that you?” Danny whispered into the phone.
“Oh, baby I’m almost there.”
“I think the police are all around us. I don’t think...
“I’m coming; I see where I can get in. I’ll meet you near your car. Can you get to the lot? ”
“Yes, but we may need a need a diversion to get out. Do you think you could?”
“Oh yes. I think I can manage that, but you two owe me a huge explanation.”
“Oh yes, I can manage that, but you two owe me a huge explanation.”
“Yes. Of course. Love you.” And with that, Danny shut off the phone.
By this point, Danny and Kevin had reached the VIP entrance, used their own ID’s, and were heading out the exit into the parking lot. They were just in time to see a Jeep fishtail its way into the lot followed by two police officers on foot waving and shouting at it.
“Here’s our distraction, right on time. Now if I could only find the right key.”
Having reached the car, Danny was fumbling with his keys and trying to see how Maggie was doing with the police. He poked randomly at the door lock while bopping up and down to peer over the car’s roof to check Maggie’s progress.
Kevin helpfully asked, “Hey dumbass why don’t you use the remote?”
“Well, I tried to amp up the range and sorta fried out the key fob.”
“Just how far do you need to have the range and why would you even need to amp it up?”
“Christ you sound like a woman. Why don’t you just put on a dress, you pussy? Does every experiment have to have a purpose or reason?” This brilliant summation was cut short by a long blast of a horn. “What was that? Seeing that Maggie was now out of her car and running around it with two puffing police officers behind her, Danny added, “I think Maggie wants us to hurry up.”
As soon as Danny and Kevin got in their car, they slowly inched through the lot, stopping and starting to avoid detection by the police.
The VIP entrance was temporarily unguarded as the police who had been assigned to block this entry were now engaged in a confusing discussion with Maggie.
“Oh, officers’, thank God you’re here. I’m so worried about my boyfriend. I haven’t heard from him, and he works in this building. I just didn’t know what to do.” Maggie breathed out in a rush while nervously playing with the first button on her blouse which she was slowly unbuttoning.
“Now Miss...?
“Hmm. Humpersink, Ms. Humpersink.”
“Ms. Humpersink you must have seen us blocking the entrance to the plant and yet you drove around our cars and recklessly sped through the parking lot,” wheezed Officer Mantle. He attempted to declare this statement in his most authoritarian voice. However, after 20 plus years of a two pack-a-day habit, the authority got lost in a series of coughs. His partner, Officer Quert, nodded arms folded in silent agreement beside Mantle, oblivious to the hacking.
Maggie looked from Mantle, a small, still wheezing, thin man in his mid-thirties to Quert, an oversized baby-faced man in his late 20’s whose body armor looked more like a bib than a vest, and decided that she would trade the endless possibilities of entertainment value for a speedy egress.
“You see officers, people are always stopped at the entrance gossiping, and I’m just used to having them wave me past. I’m just so worried about my boyfriend. He, my mother, Gabby Humpersink, and I were supposed to attend the opening of the new wing at the museum.”
“Now that is no excuse for,” began Quert, but stopped mid-thought. Quert’s brain started to go into overdrive. Quert was a man of connections, a man on the move. Police work was just a way to network and get to his real career goal, politics.
“Humpersink? As in the new Humpersink modern art wing at the museum?”
“Ah, yes officer, I do apologize, again, but my judgment was clouded. I was worried about my boyfriend and of course in fear of the wrath of my mother.”
At this point, Danny had crept out of the parking lot and had eased his way over a curb and around the squad cars blocking the entrance.
“Better call Maggie and tell her we’re out,” Danny told Kevin.
“Doing it now.” After a moment, Kevin said, “Franklin, who the hell is Franklin? Oh, you are still with the police. Righto. See you back at your place.”
“So who’s Franklin?” asked Danny.
“Maggie was going on and on about some fictitious guy, and his mother and they were late to some party or something. Whatever she was telling them, it worked.”
“I wonder how Suzanne and the Tweedles are doing.” Kevin wondered out loud.
“I bet you they all get arrested. Imagine the SWAT team that comes upon them looking like a mixture of Rambo, Terminator and Bruce Willis from Die Hard” said Danny.
“Now who are you talking about the Tweedles or Suzanne?”
“Ha! Good one!” snorted Danny.
Just then a car rocketed by them and turned onto the next street, brakes squealing.
“I see Maggie has caught up with us,” said Kevin as he and Danny pulled up behind Maggie’s Jeep.
Maggie had parked her flame red Jeep Wrangler Rubicon in front of her one-car brick garage on a cement pad that doubled as a BBQ patio and one car driveway.
As soon as she exited her car and looked at Danny and Kevin, she saw the guilt written all over their faces. Danny, who had known Maggie slightly longer that Kevin, knew what was coming, so grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder fireman style. Since he was utterly out of shape, he immediately collapsed with Maggie falling on top of him and knocking the wind out of him.
“What did you just try to do? You, Neanderthal? What am I, some sort of baggage you can just haul around whenever you feel like it?” shouted Maggie
“Apparently not considering what just happened” laughed Kevin.
“So you think this is funny do you?” Maggie said, but seeing that Danny was still flopping around on the ground and gasping like a fish out of water, she burst out laughing.
“Come on, Kev, let’s go inside and have a natter.”