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“COOL, LOOK AT ALL THOSE lights,” said, Danny, as he and Kevin approached their apartment.
Every imaginable type of emergency vehicle, surrounded their building, and people in black were running around with rifles or leaning against nearby buildings, weapons pointed toward one particular set of windows.
“Um, Danny, I think those guys are looking for us.”
“No way.”
“Uh, yes, way. Yes, big fucking way.”
“Sweet.”
“Danny I don’t think you have fully grasped the situation. Those people, the ones toting weaponry, think we may be responsible for the mess at Lexi.”
“Wow, they are good. How did the cops find out so quickly? Oh crap, oh shit, I better back up. Why isn’t this thing backing up? Back up, back up. Why aren’t you backing up?” Danny hollered to his ’97 green Land Rover while looking out the back window.
“I can think of several good reasons. One is that you have put the beast in neutral, and second and most importantly, the biggest reasons are right in front of us.” Kevin pointed directly out of the windshield and then raised both hands above his head.
“Now what are you doing?” Danny finally turned his head toward the windshield and saw a bunch of reasons aiming rifles at them through the glass. He waved at the phalanx in front of the car, gave what he thought was a harmless smile and raised his hands.
“Wow this is just like the movies, I feel like Dillinger,” Danny said out of the corner of his mouth.”
“Yes and we all know he lived a long and happy life in the suburbs tending to his rose garden didn’t he?”
“Yes, exactly. No, wait he,..., oh right. Not a good ending.”
“I haven’t had to scratch my nose all day, and now, if I don’t scratch, I’ll go insane but, I have a feeling if I make a move a lot of bullets are going to come this way.” Kevin said out of the corner of his mouth.
“Oh, thanks. Ever hear of the power of suggestion, you ass? Now I have about a million places I have to scratch.”
“Hey, isn’t that Mr. Millwood?” asked Kevin, slightly dropping his arms and tilting his head slightly to the right.
Franklin Millwood was Conner’s direct supervisor and R& D Manager at Lexi Corp. He was imposing in everyday circumstances, but tonight he looked absolutely terrifying. He was a rugged looking, black man standing six feet four and weighing in at a fit 195 pounds all of it muscle and brain. His face looked as though it may have been carved out of stone. There was a rumor that Millwood was once caught smiling, but then again it might have just been gas. He was rarely seen out on the floor but when he was spotted, an eerie silence enveloped the lab. Tonight he was wearing workout clothes that, on him looked like a tailored suit.
“Man, he even looks good in sweats. I have a similar outfit and don’t look nearly as good,” said Danny.
“Clothes or gear. Guys do not wear outfits. Girls wear outfits, you pussy,” reprimanded Kevin.
“I’ve heard it either way. Who are you calling a pussy, you ass,” Danny snarled, dropping his hands altogether.
“Ass? Oh you’ve caught me to the quick with your stinging insults,” said Kevin also dropping his hands.
The two front tactical officers shared a look of disbelief since their target’s inane conversation could be plainly heard from the car’s open windows. The first officer, Officer Jay who had zero patience with everyone and everything, approached the car and tapped the butt of her rifle against the car’s front panel. “Hey, ladies shut the fuck up,” she hissed, and then stepped back to her initial position in line.
At the word “ladies,” Kevin and Danny returned to reality and focused once more on the figures and weapons aimed in their direction. Their arms went shooting for the roof of the car simultaneously, jamming their fingers and cracking their knuckles against the top of the vehicle.
“Ow, motherfucker!” wailed Danny, while Kevin whimpered, his eyes tearing up in pain.
Out of the corner of Danny’s eye, he could see Mr. Millwood speaking to one of the SWAT people. Millwood and the SWAT guy burst out laughing. The SWAT guy who appeared to be the head of the SWAT team, shouted, “Stand down!” Then he whispered something only his team members could hear.
“Stand down, how can we stand down, we are sitting.” Danny said.
“Not us, them. I wonder what Mr. Millwood said that was so funny.”
“I don’t know or care. I’ll just be happy when those things aren’t pointed at us any longer.”
“I hear that,” agreed Kevin.
At the command “stand down,” the entire SWAT team pointed their weapons away from the Land Rover. Two officers approached the SUV, one on either side of the green beast and opened the car doors. Danny and Kevin looked at one another, before they were pulled out of the vehicle and tumbled onto the pavement. They were quickly frisked, cuffed, and then parked on a nearby curb. One officer stood by them while the other officer, joined by two more the Land Rover after Danny was served a warrant for the vehicle.
From the Land Rover came startled grunts and exclamations of “What the fuck?” as various items were found and discarded. Comments along the lines of “I think I’m gonna need a tetanus shot” to “I will have to burn my uniform after this one” could also be heard.
The head of the SWAT team approached the Land Rover and asked for a report of findings. One of the searchers, who seemed to be wearing several layers of gloves, shot Danny, and Kevin a look, shook his head and informed “No weapons or drugs. However, there are numerous containers marked Lexi with unidentifiable substances in them, along with some brand new empty containers. We may have to do a controlled burn in this thing just to get past the fast-food container level. There’s only one clean spot in the car, and that’s the passenger seat and floor. It’s as if that area is completely separate from the rest of the vehicle. It’s the weirdest thing.”
“I’ve been meaning to clean the beast out,” Danny piped up. “You know how these things go, you never think about it until you’re in the car, when you are actually going somewhere, so there’s no time. Now about those containers, they make great cereal bowls and leftover dishes. I just sometimes forget about them and...” Danny trailed off as he noticed that Mr. Millwood was paying close attention to his rambling speech. “I’m sure I retrieved them from the dumpster as they probably had cracks in them,” he continued.
As he was blithering on, Kevin was literally trying to distance himself from Danny by scooting his butt along the curb, only to run into the foot of Officer Jay. She shook her head at him and nudged him back with her boot.
Danny decided that shutting up and sitting quietly might actually be a good idea and began examining the debris in the curb with great interest. Kevin, however, realizing that he was sitting on a curb, was trying to hover just slightly above it until Officer Jay noticed his hovering and told him to knock it off.
Millwood turned to the SWAT team leader and whispered, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s moments like this that I long for the old days at DS&T.”
“I know what you mean. Government work had its drawbacks, well, it was all drawbacks, but something like this could be handled much quicker and quieter with the right tools and personnel. If I remember correctly, I was always assigned to the smelliest and most bug infested parts of the world, while you always seemed to be lounging along the Mediterranean.”
Millwood and SWAT team leader, Sgt. Preast, were still in the middle of their discussion when they came upon Kevin and Danny while walking toward the apartment complex. “Now, now, there are some less than ideal places along the coast. And speaking of nasty and smelly, we have yet to cross the threshold of their adobe,” Millwood said pausing in front of Danny and Kevin squatting on the curb. Millwood dipped his head in greeting and said, “Mr. Kensington, Mr. Montgomery, good evening.”
“Mr. Millwood, always a pleasure to see you sir, and Sgt. Beast nice to meet you as well,” Kevin said squinting at the cursive lettering on Preast’s vest.
“It’s Preast, not Beast. It’s this damn lettering. Never mind. You will address me as Sgt., is that clear?”
“Sir, yes sir Mr. Sgt. Sir,” stammered Kevin, as Danny giggled.
Danny saw a twitch at the corner of Mr. Millwood’s mouth as if he was suppressing a smile. But that was impossible. A smile from Millwood was like a sighting of the Loch Ness monster, an impossibility, a myth.
“Now let’s go up to your apartment and get some things straightened out, shall we? We have already served the warrant on your apartment. The team up there should be wrapping up shortly,” said Preast, who then nodded to Officer Jay.
Jay un-cuffed both Danny and Kevin. They slowly got to their feet and began waving their wrists back and forth to get the blood going in a more normal flow until they realized people were staring at them. So they attempted a few tough-looking macho poses, such as standing with their arms crossed and hands on hips, talking about how their sports-related injuries were affected by their uncomfortable position.
“You know, I would just shrug this off, but my old ‘tator cuff injury from college is acting up and”
“That’s rotator cuff, you ass,” Kevin hissed at Danny. Then, holding his lower back and wincing, Kevin said, loudly and conversationally, “Yes, I know what you mean, sitting on the curb bothered my hockey injury as well.”
“You mean field hockey, right,” smirked Officer Jay as she gently prodded the two in the direction of their apartment.
“Officer Jay, hmm, is that Jay or just a letter J?” inquired Kevin.
“Yeah, I only do this part-time. My real job, well I could tell you but then I’d have to..., let’s just say at the very least it would involve dark sunglasses and a neuralyzer,” whispered Officer Melissa Jay in a super serious voice.
“Oh my God. Oh my God! Danny, Danny, you won’t believe,...wait a second,” Kevin said, stopping so suddenly that Jay to walked right into him in a not so unpleasant way. “You know I’ve got a black suit at home and when this is all over, if you wanted to go out and save the world some time...?” Kevin said over his shoulder to Officer Jay as Danny looked at Kevin as if he’d really lost his mind.