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KEVIN SLEPT LIKE A baby after his marathon cleaning session, awoke at 07:00 and went over to Maggie’s at 08:00 to rustle Danny out of bed. On the way, he had stopped at a bakery and a fast food joint and bought enough fattening and cholesterol ridden food to kill a small gathering. However, all three of them had a high tolerance for a diet that had only heard rumors of a food pyramid, and their systems welcomed the familiar fare.
“Hi, babe, I bought an overabundance of breakfast stuff. Sure to please if not slowly kill all us,” Kevin told Maggie after she stumbled into the kitchen after hearing him knocking about.
“Lovely, but why are you here so early?” she asked.
“Your man and I have an appointment downtown with detective or inspectors or whatever they’re called at the cop shop at 09:00. That’s how you say it, oh nine hundred. Cool, right?”
“Yeah, but I thought you guys already made your statement. That’s what Danny said. He was so wrung out from all the questions I made him a snack when he came over, and then I gave him a massage.”
“All the questioning? Yes, well, that wasn’t a formal interview, just an overview type of thing. Today’s the formal interview where they record it, or we write it down or something.”
“Danny will never get through this. He was a wreck last night. And according to him, you weren’t any help. You could’ve at least talked him through it. It was a shared experience and all.”
“Yes, that’s me. I’m a selfish bastard. I’m no good at that sort of thing, so I suggested he see you since you’re a woman and know the womanly things to say to calm his nerves and all.”
“Why do I smell a rat? Or should I say rats? Danny, get your ass in here,” Maggie yelled.
Danny appeared, looking as usual as if he slept in his clothes, which today were a frayed denim shirt and equally worn blue jeans.
“What is it, hon, I couldn’t have done anything. I’ve been sleeping for the last few hours, well, mostly sleeping... Oh, it’s you. I figured my happiness couldn’t last long,” said Danny, glaring at Kevin.
“You guys have another interview at 09:00. Why didn’t you say so, Danny?” asked Maggie. She surveyed Danny’s attire, looked at Kevin for help, and then exploded, “For God’s sake, Danny, the police are going to think you belong in one of their holding cells or just escaped from a work gang. Look at Kevin; he is dressed like an adult. I don’t know about these things, but I’m guessing you will get more respect from whoever interviews you if you wear something appropriate. Find a collared shirt that doesn’t have a cartoon character on it and a pair of khakis, and come back down here.”
Danny was trying to think of a witty comeback, but noticing the look in Maggie’s eyes, decided he may have misjudged his attire for the day and took off for the bedroom. A faint, “I refuse to look like a reject from the local Mega Mart,” floated down the stairs.
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a light blue polo shirt and tan pants,” Kevin shouted and then looked at himself. “Oh crap, I do look like I should be handing out shopping carts at the front door of a megastore.”
Danny returned looking somewhat more presentable in a button-down blue plaid shirt and gray slacks. “Well, I am ready for my interrogation. I hope it’s not in some dark, dank cell without windows. I get claustrophobic.”
“For God’s sake, moron, they simply want our statements, either in written or possibly in audio form. You are such an ass.”
Maggie, who had already dismissed the two, was making coffee and had helped herself to several helpings of a heart attack on plate, courtesy of Kevin.
“God, Kevin, these crullers are to die for. Where did you get them?” she asked between bites.
“Bob’s Bakery and Bait shop at the corner of Louis and Market.”
“They’re the best, I’ve ever. What? ‘And bait shop’? You made that last part up, didn’t you? Great, now I have that bait shop picture in my mind, way to go. Breakfast is ruined, and you may be seeing a re-run here shortly.”
For Maggie, however, the call of the cruller was too much. She ignored the image of worms wiggling their way through the pastry, finished it, and started on an egg and sausage biscuit.
“Yes, I can see I’ve put you off food entirely. You will have to be given food intravenously in the future if you don’t recover soon,” Kevin countered snidely.
A donut sailed in his direction, which he grabbed in mid-air and began scarfing it down. “Thanks, don’t mind if I do.” He then watched Danny trying to pour coffee into a cup over the sink while nearly asleep; the contents of the carafe whooshed down the drain.
“Come on Danny, time to go,” said Kevin and propelled Danny out of the house and into his Jag.
“But I haven’t had my coffee yet!” wailed Danny.
“You had half the pot, I saw you,” said Kevin, firing up the Jag and heading it at warp speed toward the police station.
“Oh, I should be good then,” Danny said, and nodded off to sleep, not waking until Kevin jerked to a stop at the local police station.