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SUNDAY PASSED AT MAGGIE’S where she, Danny, and Kevin worked on the upcoming interview with Mr. Millwood, from which they hoped to gain the most sympathy and time off from Lexi Corp.
“Listen, it’s not like you guys have to make a lot up. You were in a building with a crazed psycho who was shooting at you, not to mention spending an inordinate amount of time with the Tweedles. That alone should get you several months on a shrink's couch courtesy of Lexi Corp.’s employee assistance program. When you are with Millwood...” Maggie began.
“That’s Mr. Millwood,” corrected Kevin. “No one would ever say anything but Mr. Millwood, and possibly add “sir” before and after his name, both to his face as well as behind his back.”
“Right, ‘Mr. Millwood’ then. When you are with Mr. Millwood, just go back in your minds when Suzanne was shooting at you and how you felt when it was happening. You should have no problem getting time off. If Mr. Millwood objects in any way, just casually mention that over the weekend, you spoke to your cousin Samuel, who is a lawyer, and he counseled you in the area of worker’s compensation. Don’t go into any details. Just sort of let it hang there, and I bet Mr. Millwood will come around with a sufficient amount of paid time off.”
“Who the hell is cousin Samuel, the lawyer?” asked Danny.
“You know Sammy. Cousin Sammy. We last saw him downtown at the bookstore when we were doing research a couple of months ago.”
Danny looked at Maggie open-mouthed. He shut it, opened it again, looked like he was going say something, stopped, and then finally uttered, “My cousin Sammy? The one who had to take the bar exam like ten times because he kept having panic attacks during the testing process? That Sammy?”
“Yes, Mr. Millwood doesn’t have to know what a live nerve ending Sammy is. Just call him Cousin Samuel and if Mr. Millwood gets too nosy, tell him that Sammy has been successfully practicing law for several years.”
“He’s a lawyer for old people, for God’s sake. His clients keep dying off. I swear he haunts retirement homes. He’s like the bad joke regarding an ambulance chaser, only he chases old people after they’ve gotten out of the hospital and are recovering from their stroke or massive grabber.”
“Sammy’s a trust attorney. Don’t look at me like that, it’s a legitimate thing. “Granted, I did see him handing out his business card at a family restaurant once around 4 p.m., during the early bird dinner hour,” Maggie said. Mr. Millwood won’t know what type of lawyer Sammy is unless he’s got a great, great, great aunt who has Sammy as a client.”
“Okay, I guess we can handle that. We have to stay strong though. I swear Mr. Millwood has superpowers.”
“Not strong. Remember, shaky and weak, just strong on the inside but weak on the outside. And if Mr. Millwood had superpowers, you two would’ve been found out as frauds a long time ago.”
“True,” said Danny, he then turned to Kevin and held out his fist. “Weak on the outside, strong on the inside.”
Kevin bumped Danny’s fist and repeated. “Weak outside, strong inside.”
“That’s my boys, I’m so proud,” Maggie sniffed, pretending to wipe a tear from her eye.