I regret not staying in the parking lot, I regret not staying overseas. I opened the door to my apartment and was greeted with a horrid stench. My deepest fears were realized. Wallace lay on the floor, unmoving and long bereft of life.
—The diary of Megan Jean
Jesse and Bryan didn’t say anything to Mia as they sat outside and waited for Flo. Mia felt a pang of guilt for wanting to avoid Andrew, but she didn’t appreciate his demeanor toward her as of late. She didn’t know much about the two Affinity members. They’d spent two weeks preparing for this journey but never got to know each other. Mia had spent most of that time with a trainer, honing her hand-to-hand combat skills. She had wanted to work on the strategy of their mission, but Zack insisted she be fully capable of defending herself. At the time Mia thought he was right, but now she realized those skills would never come into play and Affinity was trying to keep Mia distracted.
“Well that was awkward,” Flo said. “I thought Andrew was your . . . man?”
“He is,” Mia said.
“Trouble in paradise?”
“Excuse me?” Mia asked.
“I find it so strange that you’re unfamiliar with clichés,” Flo said. “Is there a problem with your relationship?”
“Not exactly,” Mia said. “He’s starting to make me feel like I’m not capable of taking care of myself.”
“Well, is that a problem with him or a problem with you?”
Mia raised an eyebrow.
“Let’s keep walking,” Flo said. “You’re meeting with an accent coach this afternoon.”
“What will he teach me?”
“She will teach you how to sound French,” Flo said. “It won’t be very exciting.”
“I like learning new things,” Mia said.
“Tell me, Mia, have you ever thought about the spiritual side of things?”
“Like ghosts?”
Flo let out a loud cough mixed with laughter.
“Not exactly,” she said.
“I don’t understand,” Mia said.
“You’re very sensitive,” Flo said. “You harbor anger; you get angry with your boyfriend because of the way you feel about yourself, and I mean no offense. Yesterday you mentioned wanting to know how I came to trust myself. I know that I alone am in charge of my own destiny.”
“Isn’t that a contradiction?” Mia asked. “If destiny is predetermined, how can you be in charge?”
Flo flashed a warm smile. “Those are two separate schools of thought,” she said. “Do you think things are predetermined? You could never have ended up anywhere but here?”
Nobody had ever asked Mia anything remotely similar to this. She wanted to prove to Flo that she was capable of answering tough questions. Rather than responding with an “I don’t know,” Mia thought carefully.
“No,” Mia said. “I think I could have ended up a number of places.”
“And was it your series of decisions that led you to this point?”
“No. If I hadn’t forced Andrew to help me I never would have left America. If I hadn’t learned from Riley I never would have rescued Andrew and Carter. Other people have assisted me.”
Flo nodded her head.
“You’re a giver,” she said. “You give lots of credit to those around you, instead of allowing yourself to receive some.”
“Without Corinna’s pushing I never would have run in the first place. I owe all of this to my sister,” Mia said. “She’s the one who should be here, not me.”
“Aha,” Flo said. “Do you think that has anything to do with your motivation?”
“No,” Mia said. “I can’t help her. She’s dead.”
“But you can help all the women in America in her place,” Flo said. “Set them free as your sister did you.”
“Stopping the Registry and mandatory service just seems like the right thing.”
“Always look deeper,” Flo said. “That is how you can harness your energy.”
“How do I do that?”
“Never stop asking questions.”
When Mia was learning how to form strategies with Riley she had asked questions nonstop. Her mentor had scolded Mia for asking too many.
“I ask questions all the time.”
“To other people,” Flo said. “Ask them to yourself.”
Mia went silent. Flo stopped walking and turned to face Mia. She reached out and grabbed hold of both her hands.
“We can’t change other people,” Flo said. “We can only educate them and give them the option to change themselves.”
“Are you talking about Andrew?”
“I’m speaking about every soul who walks this earth.”
Flo squeezed Mia’s hands.
“I have some official business to attend to,” Flo said. “But one last piece of advice. If you’re angry with someone, clear and open communication is the best way to get over your fear.”
“I’m angry, not afraid.”
“Anger is only a form fear takes,” Flo said. “And there’s no shame in being afraid. Particularly for a person like you with a challenging road behind and ahead.”
Flo released Mia’s hands and leaned in, giving her a kiss on each cheek. Mia watched as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small box. At first Mia thought she was getting a present, but instead Flo turned to walk away.
“What is that?” Mia asked.
“A gift,” Flo said. “For your grand commander. I am sending it ahead. It should arrive in a day or two and will hopefully help with your cause.”
This was the exact sort of information Mia wanted to know—how the small gift would help—but Flo had given her so much to think about that she didn’t have the urge to ask. There was nothing this woman would keep from Mia, and if that small gift was meant to stop the injustices in America, that was all Mia needed to know.
“Enjoy your lessons,” Flo said. “I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Good-bye,” Mia said.
Flo walked off. Bryan and Jesse followed her. Mia debated walking back to the employees’ house and speaking with Andrew and Carter about their recent behavior. Open and clear communication. Instead she decided to focus on Flo’s other advice. Mia needed to ask herself some hard questions and not be afraid of the answers.