JUNE 30 / 12:07 AM

Ophelia Finlay

SITTING IN FRONT of the dance studio when I pulled up after my drive back from Sea Breeze was the last person I expected to see. I’d hoped in the dark corners of my broken heart that Eli might be here waiting. The small shred of hope that when he had driven off, he’d needed to leave everyone else, but he would find his way back here. He wasn’t here though, and the tears still wet on my cheeks did nothing to ease the pain he’d inflicted. Not from the words I’d heard outside Live Bay but from his leaving without saying anything. I thought we were something more. That he’d explain it all to me, tell me the whole story. But I’d been wrong, and the heartbreak was like anything I had ever experienced.

I turned off my car, but I didn’t get out. I sat in the silence and studied my sister sitting on the cement with her legs crossed and her back resting against the front door to the dance studio. There was a suitcase beside her, and I knew then her relationship had ended. This was her return. Her eyes met mine and even in the limited lighting, I could see the dark circles under them. Her fair skin was more pale than normal. Phoenix was dealing with hurt as well. It was clear in her eyes.

I wanted to curl up and cry until I was too tired to cry anymore, but my sorrow would have to wait. I could see without hearing her say a thing that my sister needed me. She was carrying her own pain inside and like always she was coming to me to unload it. I’d have to listen, advise, and give her a shoulder to cry on. My tears had to be put on hold. Taking a deep breath, I wiped away what was left of them on my cheeks and did the best I could to compose myself and get a firm lock on my emotions before getting out of the car.

Phoenix stood up as I walked toward her. She had lost some weight which was unnecessary and made her appear fragile. My sister was not a fragile person. She was headstrong, determined, outspoken, extroverted, and at times mean as hell. She was by no means fragile. However, right now she appeared to be and that worried me. I had never seen her like this.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked her as I stopped in front of her and then grabbed her chin so I could study her thin, pale, face closely. When she didn’t jerk away from me with a smartass comment, I knew this must be bad. She was not okay. This was not my feisty sister.

“I’ve been sitting on that hard concrete for two hours and my butt is sore. What’s wrong with you?” was her reply. That sounded more like Phoenix even if she didn’t currently look like the smartass she was, at least there was fight left in her.

“I fell in love with a man who doesn’t love me, he had secrets, I knew he did, the secrets came out tonight, he ran off without a word, I don’t know when I will see him again. Now what happened to you?” I knew my sister well enough to know she’d evade answering until she had the Cliff Notes on why my eyes were red and swollen. I wasn’t a crier.

She frowned. “You fell in love with Eli Hardy?” she asked, sounding shocked.

“Yes, but I didn’t tell you his name,” I pointed out.

“Nate told me you were seeing him,” she explained. Then she sighed so heavily her thin shoulders lifted dramatically before falling back into the slump they were in before. “He was married,” she said.

Yes, I had heard Eli was married. The woman outside Live Bay had said as much. How on earth did Phoenix know that? “How did you know about Eli’s marriage?” I asked confused and suddenly feeling even more lost.

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “Holy shit,” she said then continued to gape at me. My confusion was mounting. “Eli Hardy is married?”

“Wait . . . you didn’t know Eli was married then who were you talking about?” I asked, realizing then she hadn’t been talking about Eli when she had stated he was married. Even as I worked through it all in my head, it began to become clear. “Oh no,” I said, understanding now what Phoenix had been telling me.

“Yeah, he told me yesterday morning. When I walked into the apartment to find his wife there. She was surprising him. Her and their two little boys.” Phoenix’s voice sounded void of emotion, but her eyes told a different story.

“Bastard,” I said angrily, thinking of how he’d not only used my sister but he’d cheated on his family. There was no reason to continue this outside. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her against me in a hug before unlocking the door and opening it for her to go inside. “Is that suitcase all you have?” I asked her as she picked up the handle to roll it.

“It’s all I took the time to get.”

I didn’t press her for more. Once she was inside and headed for the loft entrance, I locked the door behind me and followed her in silence. My broken heart still throbbed painfully in my chest. Tears still clogged my throat as I thought of Eli and the desire to see him. Hold him. The fear I may never get a chance to do that again gripping me so tightly in my chest it hurt to breathe.

I couldn’t dwell on that now though. Phoenix was not the one to unload on. She wasn’t very good at support. I held my sorrow inside. For now, I would focus on hers and allow it to distract me.

When we were inside the apartment, Phoenix left her suitcase by the door and walked over to the sofa and sank down onto it. I laid the keys on the entry table and waited for her to say something. I could tell she wanted to unload.

“I’m pregnant,” she said the words as she stared straight ahead at nothing.

“Oh no.” I could only manage a whisper. She’d said the only thing I hadn’t been expecting to hear. Unable to move, I stood there staring at her wondering if I’d heard her incorrectly.

“I told him at the airport. I’d been going to tell him tonight. I was planning a surprise dinner and,” she paused, closed her eyes and shook her head. “I was so stupid. I thought he would be excited. I thought we were in love.” Finally, she turned to look at me. “But we weren’t. he has a family already. A beautiful family.”

I moved to her then. She was so close to breaking down and I had no words of comfort, but I wanted to hold her. I didn’t want her to feel alone. Sitting down beside her, I reached for her hand and held it in both of mine. The first tear slid free and rolled down her cheek.

“She didn’t even acknowledge me. She looked at me once then back at him and said ‘This again? Really Edward? I thought we had moved past your need for a toy. Make it disappear please.’ Then she had taken her boys’ hands and told them to go find a bedroom they liked. As if I weren’t standing there. As if I was a pet he’d picked up. In that moment, all I could think was ‘His name is Edward?’” She laughed, but it wasn’t real. It was more hysterical. “I thought it was Dannon. Like the yogurt.”

My father may kill the man. I hoped he was wealthy enough to hide properly.

The first sob broke free and Phoenix turned and laid her head on my shoulder as she cried. I held her and said nothing. There was nothing I could say to make this better. I had no wisdom for her. No guidance. My little sister’s bad decisions had always been an issue. This time, however, she’d have to grow up. There would be no more time for selfish impulsiveness. Those days had ended.

My tears returned and I cried silently as she clung to me. This time I wasn’t just crying for myself, but for the life my sister had to face now. She was terrified and no one could fix that for her. I would sit here and hold her until she had no tears left. Then put her to bed. Tomorrow we would decide how to tell my parents.