Esther slowly descended Pennington’s grand staircase, her demeanour a little more under control now she’d collected her purse from the design department and could leave the store for the day.
Instead of walking the high road the moment Viola appeared, Esther had panicked and seen red. Malicious satisfaction had gleamed in her stepmother’s eyes, illustrating that she’d clearly been intent on goading Esther, heedless to the hordes of customers hurrying around the bustling corridor.
Damnation. Why didn’t I just smile? Been so pleasant Viola would’ve had no choice but to go back and tell Father how happy I am. Instead, I…
‘Esther?’
Lawrence and Rose stood at the bottom of the staircase, his face etched with concern, whereas Rose beamed with delight despite the tiredness that showed in the way her arms limply lay around her father’s shoulders. A wave of anxiety rolled through Esther. Why had Lawrence chosen to seek her now when she felt so horribly vulnerable? Worse, why did he have to look so handsome and Rose so adorable?
Esther forced a wide smile. ‘Well, hello. Did you enjoy listening to Mrs Hadley, Rose?’
‘Yes, but…’ Her face dropped. ‘I worried for her because her husband died.’
‘Yes, he did.’ Esther tried to keep her focus on the little girl despite the heat of Lawrence’s stare at her temple. It was patently obvious it was her deep care for her father that had triggered Rose’s disquiet. ‘But she’s doing very well, regardless. Don’t you think?’
Rose nodded and stared around the opulent, sparkling atrium that was Pennington’s pride and joy. Esther watched her, her heart filling with affection.
Dragging her gaze from Rose’s pretty brown hair, Esther turned to Lawrence. His dark blue gaze made a slow, contemplative study of her face, his brow creased. ‘Are you all right?’
Her smile faltered. ‘Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘I saw you.’ His voice lowered as he glanced at Rose who continued to look about them. He faced Esther again. ‘Overheard you. With your stepmother.’
Her cheeks heated as she swallowed. What on earth must he think of her?
‘I see.’ Esther glanced at Rose just as she turned. She stared at Esther, her gaze curious. She’d obviously detected the care in her father’s voice. Clearing her throat, Esther faced Lawrence. ‘Viola and I will never be the best of friends. I tend to make myself scarce whenever she visits my aunt. To have Viola appear unannounced at the store, especially when I’ve put so much into this evening, was typical of her.’
He looked towards the store’s double doors, his jaw tight, and then faced her and, as if remembering himself, he smiled. ‘We are going to have some hot chocolate. Would you like to join us?’
‘Please, Esther.’ Rose, her tiredness vanishing, bobbed up and down in Lawrence’s arms. ‘Daddy lets me have chocolate sprinkles on top, too.’
The pressure that bore down on Esther was shaming. To go with him and Rose now would be a mistake. Esther wanted him to continue to like her and enjoy her company. If she showed her anger and resentment towards her meddling stepmother, there was every chance Lawrence could turn away from her.
She gently touched Rose’s shoulder. ‘I’m sorry, darling, but I must get back to my aunt and spend some time with her before she goes to bed.’
Disappointment flickered in the little girl’s eyes, the exact same shade of startling blue as her father’s. ‘But another time?’
Just as Esther’s resolve began to buckle, the tip-tapping of approaching heels served as the perfect distraction.
Turning, relief lowered Esther’s tense shoulders as Elizabeth and Joseph, looking every inch the handsome couple they were, walked closer. Esther quickly stepped forwards. ‘Elizabeth. Joseph. Do you need me for something?’ Please…
Joseph looked from Esther to Lawrence and extended his hand. ‘Joseph Carter, sir. It’s nice to finally meet you. My wife told me she saw you in the store a while ago.’
Esther stood immobile, her heart beating hard as Lawrence slipped his hand into Joseph’s, his expression relaxed and friendly. ‘She did, and I’m glad to make your acquaintance also. This is my daughter, Rose.’
Joseph beamed, his gaze soft as he studied Rose. ‘Well, hel—’
‘Hello again, Rose.’ Elizabeth’s eyes lit as she whipped in front of Joseph and smiled with pleasure as she gently touched Rose’s cheek. ‘Would you like to see the new rocking horse we have in the toy department? Children have been riding him all week.’
‘Yes, please! Can I, Daddy?’
Esther looked at Lawrence. His gaze sought hers, rather than Rose’s. He nodded. ‘Of course.’ He carefully lowered Rose to the marble floor and she immediately slipped her hand into Elizabeth’s. Lawrence nodded, his focus still on Esther. ‘I’ll wait right here for you.’
Although desperate to escape, Esther watched helplessly as Elizabeth walked away with Rose.
‘So, Elizabeth tells me you own The Phoenix, Mr Culford.’ Joseph stared after his wife, his gaze full of desire before he blinked and faced Lawrence. ‘It seems an impressive establishment. I come from a background of lesser means and couldn’t afford to step inside your hotel until recently. I must rectify that as soon as I can.’
‘It would be a pleasure to have you dine in the restaurant or take afternoon tea with Mrs Carter. Whatever you’d like, my staff will be at your service.’
‘Then I’ll arrange something sooner rather than later. I think I’ll hasten my father to join us. He most certainly enjoys the finer things in life since his retirement. You might well know him. Robert Carter of Carter & Sons.’
Esther silently watched the exchange in bemusement. Nerves jumbled in her stomach and she couldn’t stop fidgeting. She had no idea why she was so perturbed by Joseph and Lawrence meeting. Maybe it was the fear that Joseph might assume she and Lawrence were an item, whereas Elizabeth would never assume such a thing.
‘Anyway,’ Joseph held his hand out to Lawrence again. ‘It was nice to meet you and I hope to see you again soon.’ He nodded at Esther. ‘Wonderful job tonight, Esther. See you in the morning.’
Esther watched Joseph walked away, more than a little concerned by his strained expression and the distraction in his eyes. Was his uncharacteristic agitation caused by whatever problem Elizabeth had alluded to? She must speak further with Elizabeth and offer her help again.
She faced Lawrence.
His gaze softened. ‘Are you all right?’
The worry in his eyes was her undoing and guilt slithered through her. Was he beginning to care for her as she was him? Although their feelings for one another could be detrimental to everything she was striving to do, his kiss remained branded on her lips. If she yielded to the emotions he caused in her, how could they make their relationship work when he had the children to consider and she had her work?
She sighed. ‘I’m quite all right. Truly. There’s no need to be concerned.’
‘There’s every need; I care about you.’ He studied her. ‘We kissed, Esther.’ His voice lowered. ‘Whether or not you regret that, I, do not. In fact, I wish for it to happen again. Please, don’t shut me out without at least getting to know me better.’
Words failed her as she looked into his eyes. Soft admiration mixed with pleading, which only served to weaken her defences. Why did she find him so irresistible? She raised her eyebrows. ‘You are very fond of your own charm, you know.’
He smiled. ‘I merely wish to improve the end of your day after what was clearly an unwanted visitor.’
She glanced towards Pennington’s doors, the weight and sadness of her estrangement from her father pressing down on her. ‘My stepmother has no interest in my life other than making sure I don’t grace the family threshold ever again. I’m sure she’ll see fit to leave me alone for a while.’
‘Good, then join us for chocolate and to hell with her.’
The vehemence in his voice sparked the temptation to do as he suggested, elevating the deep-seated rebellion she’d grasped whenever she found herself trapped in a moment of vulnerability. She exhaled a shaky breath. ‘Come and sit with me.’
Esther led him to a circular seating area in the centre of the atrium, a huge palm tree in the middle. The store hummed with conversation, interspersed with bursts of laughter from the remaining guests who had attended tonight’s event. Every colour and scent filled the space as people slowly descended the grand staircase and strolled through the atrium, temptations in the numerous glass counters stationed throughout the mammoth space catching their eyes.
She and Lawrence were far from alone, yet, when she met his eyes, it was as though no other person existed. Was this what the beginnings of romance felt like? If it was, what was she to do? Her unwillingness to fully open her heart and risk its complete destruction meant it would be unfair to them both to pursue anything deeper.
Esther exhaled. ‘There’s something you should know.’
His steady gaze bored into hers. ‘What?’
She drew in a shaky breath, slowly released it. ‘I’m starting to like you, very much, but I’ll not risk my heart, or my head, when I have so much important work to do.’
‘Esther—’
‘When I left home, I thought I’d live an often-solitary life except for the company the Cause brought me.’ Although it was rude to interrupt him, she could not allow him to appease her. ‘Yet, now, I have several male and female associates I both respect and admire. But with you…’ She shook her head, fell into his deep blue gaze, her heart thundering with loss and regret. ‘I fear being with you at some point in the future could mean I’ll be tempted to abandon a little of my independence. I won’t do that. I can’t. If I became involved in your life and my desires were curbed, I would flee. Away from you. Away from Rose and Nathanial. You should not be seeking a woman like me. I’m damaged, Lawrence. You need to stay away from me.’
‘Aren’t we all damaged in some way or another?’ Something she couldn’t decipher flickered in his gaze, before his jaw tightened and he shook his head. ‘The Cause is equally important to me. I want to do all I can to contribute to a more balanced world for my children.’
She stared at him, a whisper of recognition rippling through her when she saw the hope in his eyes. Slumping, she softly smiled. ‘I look at you and see a man who has not only made his way in the world but has loved and lost and still pushes forward. I don’t have that strength. I’m sorry.’
‘You think me strong?’ His gaze burned with an intensity she hadn’t seen before. ‘Then work with me, Esther. Let us do something together that will make a difference to you and the Cause. I still want to help you, even if I can’t be with you in a way I think we should explore.’
The longer she looked at him, the more desire and protection pulled her in a hundred different directions.
She looked across the atrium at two young lovers arm in arm at the jewellery counter, another couple looking at the wedding display and mannequins. Would marriage ever be possible for a woman determined to make her mark outside of domesticity?
She faced Lawrence. ‘My father’s treatment of me hurt deeply. It made me see the world as it really is, rather than through the eyes of a young girl looking for love and happiness.’
He took her hand. ‘You are racing ahead. Let’s just focus on working for the Cause for the time being. Let me show you around my hotel and how we help so many worthy causes. Let me come to a demonstration and meet the women you work with.’ He curled his fingers tighter around hers. ‘Let me in just a little.’
The softness of his voice poked at her fragile heart. What if he could do good for the Cause and rejecting his help meant she’d only thought of her own suffering rather than the injustice all women suffered?
She briefly closed her eyes and then opened them again, her shoulders slumping. ‘If I was to come to your hotel, you must promise me you’ll respect my wishes and we concentrate on the Cause rather than us.’
‘You’ll come?’ His smile was like a sunbeam lighting his handsome face. ‘When?’
‘Promise me, Lawrence.’
‘Must I? Can we not just get to know one another without conditions?’ His beautiful eyes gleamed with a happiness she found difficult to resist.
She shook her head and smiled. ‘You are insufferable.’
‘I am and I’m quite happy that’s what you like about me.’ He grinned. ‘When is your next day off?’
‘Wednesday. Why?’
‘Come to The Phoenix and I’ll ensure my diary is cleared for the afternoon.’
She stared at him, momentary uncertainty rising once more. No, she should see his hotel. Accept his support and help. She smiled. ‘All right. That would be wonderful.’
‘Daddy! Daddy!’
They both jumped and immediately leapt to their feet as Rose came running through the foyer ahead of Elizabeth.
‘Look, Miss Pennington gave me a teddy bear. To keep for ever and ever.’
Elizabeth glanced at Esther’s hand still in Lawrence’s and Esther quickly snatched it away, keeping her gaze resolutely locked with Elizabeth’s.
Lawrence bent to pick up his daughter and swung her into his arms and Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at Esther, questions burning in her dark green gaze.
Esther quickly looked to Lawrence and Rose.
He smiled, his eyes filled with happiness. ‘Right, I think it best I get Rose home to bed.’
‘But I’m still not tired, Daddy.’
They all laughed and a little of Esther’s tension caused by Elizabeth’s relentless scrutiny lessened. ‘Well, I’m most certainly tired so maybe I’ll be in bed before you.’
Rose giggled, and Esther turned to Lawrence.
He winked. ‘I’ll see you soon.’ He turned to Elizabeth. ‘Goodnight, Miss Pennington and thank you for Rose’s teddy bear.’
Elizabeth turned her gentle gaze to Rose. ‘You’re welcome. Goodnight, lovely Rose.’
‘Goodnight, Miss Pennington. Thank you for my bear, I’ll love him forever.’
With a final wave, Lawrence walked towards the doors with Rose in his arms, her head dropped to his shoulder.
‘Well, I see you haven’t run away from whatever it is between you and Mr Culford.’ Elizabeth’s smile widened. ‘And before you say anything, I’m glad.’
Esther sighed. ‘And I’m terrified. But I like him, Elizabeth. I really do.’
Her friend slipped her arm around Esther’s waist and squeezed. ‘Then enjoy the journey, sweetheart. Life isn’t always happy or easy. Take these moments of joyful uncertainty and let them play out. Life is a mystery until everything seems blatantly clear.’
Elizabeth walked away, leaving Esther standing alone in the atrium. But what if ‘the clear’ became something a person doesn’t want to see?