I scrambled away from Mrs. Haberdash’s prone body in an awkward crab walk that sent an uncomfortable twinge tearing through my underworked arm muscles—because even though I had a lot of hobbies, none of them related to fitness.
“That’s okay about the plumbing,” I sputtered, despite knowing Mrs. Haberdash could neither hear me nor do anything about it now. “I’ll just… Yeah. So bye for now.”
I used the banister at the base of her grand staircase to pull myself to my feet, but before I could fully regain my composure, another horrible thing happened.
Law enforcement arrived.
“What’s going on in here?” A tall man with thick salt-and-pepper hair and a light beard glanced from Mrs. Haberdash to me and back again, then picked up the radio attached to his belt and—
“Stop!” I cried, unsure of what to do with my hands. I ended up grabbing the banister with both hands, just to appear non-threatening.
The cop lowered his handheld and regarded me skeptically.
“What’s going on here?” he asked again, his eyes fixed firmly on me now. They were a pale gray, the kind of eyes I would write into a character to show the reader he was handsome. And he was handsome, but unfortunately, I had a few more pressing things on my mind at the moment.
I looked incredibly guilty here. There was no denying that. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Officer Pretty Eyes pressed me up against the wall and started reading me my rights at that very moment. Brain, stop freaking out!
I needed to stop thinking about what could happen here and just focus on remaining calm and collected while I explained exactly why it was I’d wound up alone with a dead body.
“Well… I…” I fumbled for my words, sighed, and began again. “I mean… Mrs. Haberdash is dead, so…”
Oh, c’mon, Tawny! If you can’t use your writing superpowers to explain away something you didn’t even do, what’s the point of even having them?
I simpered at him uncomfortably, waiting for the guy to either arrest me or to tell me to be on my way. It didn’t seem like there was much chance for an in-between here. I mean, I would have arrested me.
“Yes, dead. I can see that,” he said, glancing toward her body demonstratively before snapping his gaze back to mine.
A jolt shot through me, but whether it was excitement, fear, or something else entirely, I couldn’t quite tell.
“Why did you kill her?” he pressed, his eyes boring into mine as if trying to see straight into my thoughts.
“I didn’t!” I stomped my foot for good measure. Maybe my body could say what my words could not. “This morning in the shower…”
He raised one suggestive eyebrow that sent flames straight into my cheeks. Why did he have to be so good looking? That made this whole situation so much worse. I’d always been great at writing banter, but not so great at actually doing it in real life. Besides, it’s not like flirting could get me out of this one.
“No, not that. I mean, yes, the hot water,” I back-pedaled again and then panicked when he reached back toward his belt. “Wait! I didn’t kill her! How could you even think that?”
He crossed his arms and stared down the bridge of his nose at little old me. “How could I think that? Easy. I’ve never seen you a day in my life, not until you suddenly showed up at a murder scene.”
I gasped in horror. “Murder? No, she wasn’t murdered. I mean, at least not by me. And, hey, why do you automatically assume foul play? You’ve been here all of five seconds and have hardly even glanced at her. Don’t you have to do like an investigation or something first?”
Ugh. Me and my big mouth!
First I couldn’t defend my innocence, and then I accused him of not doing his job properly. I may have written one or two police characters in my books, but that wasn’t quite enough to make me an expert here.
He groaned and shook his head. “Yes, and I will investigate, just as soon as I’m done questioning the suspect.”
I backed up until my shoulders were pressed flat against the wall. “Look, Deputy Quick Draw, Mrs. Haberdash is my landlady. I was just coming to lodge a complaint. A small one. Nothing to kill anyone over.” I inserted a nervous laugh here as one does when a topic is quite literally dead serious.
“She was like this when I got here,” I added as an afterthought.
“Looks like she’s been here for a while,” he said with a sniff.
“I don’t know anything about any of this. I just wanted some hot water for my morning shower. That’s all.”
Gathering every last vestige of strength, I pushed off from the wall and carefully navigated around poor Mrs. Haberdash in a last-ditch effort to get the heck out of there.
The cop’s light eyes roamed over me, and the slightest smile quirked on his lips.
“Hang on,” he said, stopping me in my tracks as a heavy veil of horror dropped over me once again. “You’re going to have to come with me.”
Noooooooo!