SATURDAY 17 SEPTEMBER

I am feeling a bit strange today. Everything seems like it is changing …

• I hate my new timetable.
• No one has any time for me.
• Jess and Isha are probably going to become BFFs.
• I have stupid eyebrows.
• My feet aren’t in proportion to the rest of me (size six already).
• In short – what is the point of me?

I feel really rejected, so I can’t even bear to message my friends to see if anyone wants to meet up in case they all have plans and then I’ll feel EVEN MORE of a loser.

God, what if they’re doing something together and I’m not invited?! That would be the worst.

As if I’m not aware of all my own faults, Toby just poked this drawing under my door!

I was watching TV in bed and Mum came and knocked on the door.

‘Do you want to come to town with me, Lottie? I’m popping to Churchill Square to get some new underwear.’

I sighed. ‘No offence, Mum, but the shopping centre is full of school kids on a Saturday, and I don’t want to be seen with you in public … especially when you’re shopping for underwear!’

She laughed. ‘None taken – we could always split up for a bit?’

‘That would be even worse!’ I tell her. ‘No one goes into town on their own. It looks like you’ve got no friends!’

‘Well, why don’t you message Jess or Molly and see if they want to meet you?’

‘Because I’m busy watching –’ I glanced up at the TV – ‘Gardeners’ World.’

‘Since when do you like Gardeners’ World?’

‘It’s a good episode – they’re building a pergola and discussing the pros and cons of ornamental water features.’

‘Oh, come on, Lottie. This is silly. What’s wrong?’

I reluctantly showed her the list I’d written, and I was glad I did because she explained that I have nice eyebrows and that I’m only twelve and have plenty of time to grow into my feet. She also said that it’s natural to feel jealous sometimes, but that jealousy is a green-eyed monster and, instead of worrying about Jess and Isha becoming better friends, I should try to find some common ground with them both, so that I can join in and not feel left out.

I said, ‘Mum, you are so wise – like a wise, old owl!’

‘Thanks, Lottie – but less of the “old” please. I’m only in my early forties.’

I think she’s deluding herself personally. Forty is ancient.

Anyway, I hope she’s right and that I can find some stuff in common, so I can be friends with Isha too.

OOH, a parcel arrived for me from Antoine! It contained a packet of yummy-looking bacon Bugles. I’m excited to try them, but I decided to take them into school and flaunt them around share them with my friends.

THOUGHT OF THE DAY 1:

If jealousy is a green-eyed monster, I wonder what he/she looks like? Maybe the Grinch, Shrek or Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc.?

THOUGHT OF THE DAY 2:

Maybe even though me and Antoine are separated by the Atlantic Ocean we can still have a very happy relationship just posting crisps to each other — pretty perfect if you ask me!