Instructions for Human Beings
People need to be encouraged. People need to be reminded of how wonderful they are. People need to be believed in – told that they are brave and smart and capable of accomplishing all the dreams they dream and more. Remind each other of this.
— Stacey Jean Speer
WHEN MY CHILDREN WERE YOUNG, their Dad and I used to talk about how we wished they had come with instruction books, with descriptions of what we should do in certain situations:
• What exactly is the time limit for letting him cry himself to sleep when each second seems like a lifetime of pain?
• What’s the best way to compliment her beauty without making it the most important thing to her? Stacey Jean Speer
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“People problems” are the most-cited reason that organizations call me.
One key reason why employers must understand and strive to meet the needs of their employees at work: to ensure that they thrive there, bringing their best talents to work every day, which improves business results and organizational value.
• When they won’t sleep, but you feel like you’ll die if you don’t sleep, what’s the best approach for dealing with it?
But, alas, we’re not born with a guide. We humans are complex in our motivations, our emotional reactions, our ways of thinking, our fears, and our stories. And when we get to be of working age, guess what? We bring all that complexity and diversity right smack dab into the workplace.
As we discussed earlier, there are seven needs we have that work should fulfill. In this chapter we’ll explore these needs and construct a playbook for how employers can meet the needs of their employees at work. I’m not compelled to ask employers to meet employee needs only because it’s the right thing to do, it feels good, or it makes people happy. My lived and professional experience points to one key reason why employers must understand and strive to meet the needs of their employees at work: to ensure that they thrive there, bringing their best talents to work every day, which improves business results and organizational value. After all, people make companies great.
“People problems” are the most-cited reason that organizations call me. Almost invariably, the problem is with a particular person or between some particular people. In our assessment phase we hear about the specific dynamics of Tom or Andrea or whoever is either causing or contributing to the problem. Many clients have said to me, “This would be easy if it weren’t for the people.” Ah, yes.
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People are messy. We’re complex and diverse and hard to understand without spending time together and communicating. We have needs, many of them, and we don’t always know exactly what they are or how to meet them.
Most of us come to work wanting to do a good job.
Someone who calls us is usually looking for a) hope – if they could have solved this on their own they surely would have – and b) a playbook – how can they change or influence a particular person in order to get a better outcome. People are messy. We’re complex and diverse and hard to understand without spending time together and communicating. We have needs, many of them, and we don’t always know exactly what they are or how to meet them.
Most of us come to work wanting to do a good job. It’s part of our identity, and central to our sense of ourselves, to feel competent and worthy in our lives, and our lives include our work. In my experience with thousands of people in many workplaces over the years, I have not met one person who had a truly nefarious intention. We don’t mean to cause problems at work, but we get all tangled up.
While writing Fit Matters with my co-author Cammie Dunaway, I was amazed that every time we talked to someone about work fit, they had a story to tell about jobs they’d loved or jobs they’d hated. The stories about the jobs they’d loved always sounded like stories about a fun family picnic. When we asked what they had loved about their job, they would say things such as:
• “I just feel that people care about me here.”
• “It’s fun to come to work every day!”
• “I can’t imagine working with a boss I respect more!”
• “I’ve looked for this job my whole career.”
These were the best conversations, although they were rare. In book research and in my consulting practice over the last 30-plus years, most stories I’ve heard are of misery:
• “I can’t wait to get out of this job.”
• “I’m looking for another job – this one sucks.”
• “The time goes so slowly at work every day.”
• “Does my boss think I’m an idiot?”
With Fit Matters, Cammie and I attempted to foster hope for people, that work didn’t have to suck the life out of them. We offered tools and practical approaches for people seeking new jobs to help them find their ideal setting, and for people already in a job to craft their way to more positive experiences at work. We wanted to give employees the power to find fit, rather than leaving it up to chance.
Repeatedly since Fit Matters came out, feedback has been positive about the framework we offered for work fit. In conversations with people and in reviews of the book, we hear repeatedly that the six elements we introduced capture what people are looking for in a job. Here are the six elements that determine whether an employee is likely to thrive at work:
• Meaning Fit is great when you feel that what you do matters.
• Job Fit is great when the responsibilities of your job align with your talents and provide opportunities for growth.
• Culture Fit is great when your values and beliefs are compatible with the practices of your employer.
• Relationship Fit is great when you like and respect the people you work with and receive appropriate support and trust to do your job.
• Lifestyle Fit is great when your life outside of work is supported by your employer’s policies and practices.
• Financial Fit is great when you feel that you’re paid fairly and when what your employer offers (salary, bonus, benefits, perks, and allowances) meets your needs.
Our research pointed to the fact that work fit always requires a trade-off – there is no perfect fit – and it’s temporally sensitive, meaning that our needs change over the course of our lives and what we need at one stage of our careers may not be what we need in another. By thinking about the six elements of work fit, we can evaluate the opportunities we seek, whether it’s a new job or to modify our current work situation to strengthen the match between what we, as unique individuals, need at work and what our employer offers.
For employers, the considerations of the six elements of work fit are more complicated, since redesigning your organization to fit each individual employee’s needs is difficult. For employers, then, I recommend designing the organization from the stripped-down, more essential needs that human beings bring to the workplace: the seven needs that work should fulfill that I identified in Chapter 1. Ironically, designing a company to be fit for human life by consciously meeting the needs of the people who work there isn’t always intuitive.
Can’t We Just Do the Work?
I can’t count the number of leaders whom I’ve had to convince that the work we would do together would have an impact on their company’s bottom line. They listen to me with faces of incredulity, doubt, and skepticism. And yet, invariably, when they experience the work, whether it’s in the realm of leadership, team, culture, or conflict, they feel the benefit, and we never have to repeat that conversation. Though they’re hard to measure, the ephemeral elements of being a Bravespace workplace are tangibly felt.
For example, I once worked with a very charismatic leader. And his company got results. But when the wheels started to come off the bus of his company, he became petulant with me. “Moe, I hear that people are (insert descriptive negative state of being here), but this is, after all, a business. Right? It’s not summer camp.”
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The ephemeral elements of being a Bravespace workplace are tangibly felt.
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The only thing more expensive than an employee leaving is an employee who is miserable and stays.
His company had more than double the average for employee turnover (21 percent.) And the exit interviews revealed deep problems. People said things such as, “I don’t need to come to work every day afraid my manager is going to publicly humiliate me.” “My husband is threatening to divorce me because I work every evening and weekend and we have little kids.” I answered this CEO with words I have said many times, “You’re right, it’s ‘just work.’” And then I asked him a question I knew he would get, “What will happen if you have to rehire 20 percent of your employees every year just to stay even?” Ka-ching! – money talks.
Any group is only as fast as its slowest member. Companies require people to do the jobs they need done. People need Bravespace workplaces in order to do their best work or they’ll leave. Either actually or just mentally – the only thing more expensive than an employee leaving is an employee who is miserable and stays. Work is not meant to be summer camp. But people need to thrive while working, and when they do, it’s good for business. By thrive I mean, and Merriam-Webster (2018b) agrees, more than just survive or get by: to “grow vigorously, to prosper, to flourish.” Most of us have, at some point in our lives, had that job that’s just feeding us, a job where we were just marking time. But the jobs where we thrive can elevate any mundane work situation, and then we’re in a Bravespace workplace.
When I traveled in Rwanda with a client, I was assigned a young driver and guide, Moses, whom I adored (we had many hours together during several trips.) His hours were long, his pay low. One hot, arduous travel day I asked him why he stayed with the job, given its difficulties. I remember his response so clearly: “I get to meet people from all over the world and help them see my country. I feel so lucky! I’m a good driver, and I think my boss knows that and cares about me.”
It’s not rocket science to understand what it takes to design and lead a workplace fit for human life, but it’s not easy, either. People are diverse, needy, and complex. So what do employees really want from their employers? Recall from earlier chapters that there are seven needs people have that work should fulfill:
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Work is not meant to be summer camp.
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It’s not rocket science to understand what it takes to design and lead a workplace fit for human life, but it’s not easy, either.
• To meet our basic requirements – to make enough money or non-cash compensation to provide food, clothing, shelter, and safety
• To contribute – to do something that matters to someone
• To be seen – and known
• To connect – in real ways, with other people
• To learn – and become better
• To feel supported – to be able to be brave knowing that there are risks
• To make our lives work – to be able to do the things that matter to us and are ours to do
Some of these needs, such as pay, are obvious, and employees negotiate for them. But most of people’s other needs lurk within, neither named nor directly observable by their employers. People can’t name what they need from work because these work needs are so basically connected to their essential needs as human beings that they don’t differentiate them.
A study called the Grant Study is one of the longest running studies on human development. This study has run since 1938, and it has followed 268 men, who started as Harvard undergraduates, for 75 years. A study of this magnitude is valuable not only because of its length, but also for its range. Data was collected on practically everything – physical traits, family relationships, financial status, health, diet, habits, IQ, and much more. George Vaillant (2012) was the director of the study for more than 30 years, and he published a summary of his insights. He cited seven major factors that contribute to healthy aging and happiness. They are:
• Education
• Stable marriage
• Healthy weight
• Exercise
• Not smoking
• Not abusing alcohol
• Employing mature adaptations
He concluded that good social skills and coping methods are crucial to overall health and wellbeing, but the most telling aspect of the study came when the subjects’ relationships and their life satisfaction were analyzed. There were direct links between having a warm relationship with a mother on the one hand and financial success, mental health in old age, and career effectiveness (among others) on the other. A warm relationship with a father manifested itself in a decreased likelihood of adult anxiety and an increased ability to play, as well as a general feeling of happiness.
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“Happiness is love. Full stop.”
For all of us who feel that we’re on an elusive quest for happiness, Valliant’s final thought is remarkable. He finished by saying that the Grant Study points “to a straightforward, five-word conclusion: Happiness is love. Full stop.”
Relationships Are the Key to Happiness at Work, as in Life
We cannot achieve happiness at work without warm relationships. Happiness is in the development of relationships and the moments we connect as people. So perhaps the most essential ingredient for what we need at work is fruitful, connected relationships. For any organization that has employees, a focus on healthy relationships at work is essential. You might be nodding your head right now, saying “duh.” I know, it seems so easy. But in truth, we experience our company primarily through our immediate supervisor, so our relationship with that person is critical to whether we thrive. No matter how accessible and connecting the CEO or owner are, if the person we directly work for alienates us, we experience work negatively.
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We cannot achieve happiness at work without warm relationships.
Warm and healthy relationships at work require trust and self-awareness; both are big subjects that we’ll tackle in Chapter 8: The Human Essentials. Until we get there, a good starting place for bringing out the best in the people who work for you is to focus time, energy, and effort on knowing yourself. Warren Bennis, a leadership development theorist and advocate, said, “The leader never lies to himself, especially about himself, knows his flaws as well as his assets, and deals with them directly.”
Instructions for Human Beings
Let’s review what people need from work in a bit more detail and reflect on relevant questions that any leader or business owner should be prepared to answer. Human beings (including the ones who work for you) need these things from you and your organization, no matter if your organization is big or small, private or public, in business, healthcare, education, or any other sector:
• People need money to meet their basic requirements. This means that you need to think about how you plan to pay them and what currencies you’ll offer in addition to pay. In my hometown of Bend, Oregon, employers consider offering time off during workdays so that employees can enjoy the outdoor playground we live in. From mountain biking on fall afternoons to being the first to ski Mt. Bachelor early on Monday mornings, a currency that matters here, in addition to pay, is the chance to play. Are you paying fairly? Are you looking beyond pay for what matters to your people? Can people meet their basic needs on what you pay them? What can you offer in addition to money?
• People need to do something that matters to someone; they need to contribute. This means that we need to be able to connect the dots between what we do and something bigger. Every job, from the very front line to the most senior executive, exists for a reason. Mark worked on the line for a speaker manufacturer, and he said that he loved his job despite the tedious nature of the work, because he knew that he was helping people listen to beautiful music, which made their hearts sing. Are you spending time with your employees to connect the dots between what they do every day and the benefit or impact of that work on someone else? Are you coaching your leaders to spend time doing the same?
• People need to feel seen, not anonymous. Being seen means being known. It means that the people we work for and with know our name, and they know what our job is. They notice if we come to work and if we’re joyous or down. Recently a CEO client and I were on a walking coaching session, and we bumped into an employee. The employee knew the CEO right away, and when the CEO recognized him and asked how things were going, it was like watching the sun rise. The employee clearly felt valued and seen because his boss’s boss knew who he was and cared how he was. Do you know who works for you by name? Do you spend the time necessary to get to know them in small but vital ways?
• People need to connect with other people via real connection. This is what the Grant Study shows and what Brené Brown’s research illuminates: we are hard-wired for connection and we need it as much as we need water. This goes beyond company teambuilding and beer on Fridays; it has everything to do with whether your organization facilitates and supports the process of forming human connections. The best way to do this is by being real and human, by admitting your mistakes or admitting that you don’t know. Nothing, and I mean nothing, draws others closer to us than small acts of vulnerability that reveal our humanity. Are you showing your employees what’s under the hood? Do you support small intervals in time when the explicit purpose is human connection?
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Nothing, and I mean nothing, draws others closer to us than small acts of vulnerability that reveal our humanity.
• People need to learn and grow. The need to learn is so basic that in my first book, Fit Matters, Cammie and I offered it as an overriding seventh element that encompasses all six other elements of fit. We want to become better, to challenge our thinking and our being in a variety of ways. As an employer, are you aware of what an employee might want to learn with you? And are you talking about it with them? How are people able to grow or learn at your organization?
• People need to feel, and be, safe and supported. Google’s germinal 2015 Aristotle Project validated what many of us already knew: members of high-performing groups at work have psychological safety between them. Psychological safety is “a sense of confidence that the team will not embarrass, reject, or punish someone for speaking up,” according to Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson (1999). “It describes a team climate characterized by interpersonal trust and mutual respect in which people are comfortable being themselves.” This includes being able to feel like an insider, like you belong, even when differences (race, gender, physical ability, nationality, sexual orientation, and more) could make you feel like an outsider. Do you think your employees feel safe enough to speak up? Do you spend time and effort to create an environment in which listening to each other, and showing sensitivity to feelings and needs, is valued? Do you practice inclusion and model it in your organization, exploring your own unconscious biases and systematic advantage?
• People need to be able to make their lives work. We lead divergent and varied lives. What works for one person may not work for another. Some companies focus on professional athletes as employees because athletes need flexible hours to train, and they need the income. Others make work hours appropriate for working parents. Obviously your organization needs to do what it needs to do, which may mean that employees must flex how, when, or where they work. But a single parent will likely need to be home by a certain time. Or if an employee you value does her best thinking between 7 a.m. and 9 a.m., can you facilitate the end of her shift to be 3 p.m. rather than 5 p.m. so that she can take advantage of her best thinking time without overworking? We can’t completely design workplaces around employees, of course, but if employees can’t make their lives work around our organizational needs, they won’t. Do you pay attention to the ways in which your workplace supports and enlivens your employees? Do you act in ways that are consistent with the values you profess?
If you own or manage a company, you should keep in mind, with everything you do, what people need from work. The reasons that we work are many, complex, and often beneath the surface, but they are consistent for most of us. By designing every facet of your workplace around the needs of people, you’ll create a Bravespace workplace in which workers can do their best work for and with you.
In Part II we’ll examine the five levers for eliminating toxicity in your workplace and creating a Bravespace workplace that’s truly fit for human life.