Kylie, girl, this is it. I was actually going to walk into Satan’s lair. If anyone had ever told me… Nope. Not any of this would have been believed.
We got to the cavern. It looked like dead birds were scattered by the entrance in all directions. Some looked beaten, some torn apart. Wild beasts? More demons? I shuddered at the black blood and feathers everywhere. I had to carefully pick my way over one to enter the cavern.
Shabiri followed me and then skittered in front of me. “Listen, I know I promised to take you here, but now I’m not so sure it’s such a good idea.”
“You can leave anytime, you know.”
“Yes, I know.” She stopped and watched as I stalked forward. But then she seemed to change her mind and ran after me again, her ridiculous high heels clacking over the stone. “But maybe it’s not a good idea, talking to…Him. Did you ever consider that He might be angry at a human trying to tell Him what to do?”
“I’m not going to tell him. I’m going to beg him. On my knees if necessary. Shouldn’t that please him?”
Yeah, I began to wonder what I was getting into. What Satan would be like. Would I be too terrified to speak? But at the moment, I was good. I was running on adrenalin and chutzpah and moxie and anything else I could grab from my DNA. I mean, this was it. I could put everything I had into this because after it, there wouldn’t be any more. Might as well.
Funny, but I wasn’t as scared as when I’d started out.
Shabiri was still blocking me, even as the cavern grew cooler. It looked like the cave at Falcon’s Point with stalactites and stalagmites. But unlike the caves there that got darker the more you dove into them, this one was becoming lighter due to all that fire. Okay, that was giving me pause. Satan, fire, hell….souls. Too late now, Kylie. And anyway, this was for Erasmus. I swallowed past a thick lump in my throat. “I know you’re scared, Shabiri, but you don’t want to see Erasmus die, do you?”
She didn’t look like the confident bitch I had known. Her face was twisted in uncertainty. For one, she loved him. For another, demons apparently didn’t do this kind of thing for each other. It was dog eat dog in the Netherworld. Acts of selflessness were alien to them.
“Shabiri, you got me here. You helped me. I’ll tell him that before I die. You can wait outside. You don’t have to go in there.”
She looked like she was pondering it. She really wanted to leave, but she also might hate herself if she did. “What if…what if…”
“No more what ifs. I’m here. I’m going through with it.”
She got in front of me again and held her arms out, blocking me.
“Will you get out of my way!” I shoved her, hard. She might even have fallen, but I didn’t care. She didn’t follow me. I stalked forward and suddenly found myself in a doorway to an enormous chamber. And then my breath stopped.
Satan was enormous. Huge. All out of proportion to what I’d expected. And he was in a pit of fire, just…sitting there. He looked like a walking lava flow but with red glowing eyes and towering horns.
And he was looking at me.
“Kylie?”
Erasmus’ voice. Then I saw him. A choking cry wrenched from my throat. “Erasmus!” I ran. There was some sort of fluttering from the rock walls but I paid no attention to it. There was even some kind of demon looking like he was trying to become the wall, but I had no eyes for anyone but Erasmus. When I finally reached him, I flung myself into his arms. We held each other, gripping tight. “I thought I lost you!” I wailed into his shoulder.
“You can never lose me,” he said. He brought my face up and kissed me.
I held on and kissed him back hard. But then…he tasted different. He smelled different. He felt different. I couldn’t help but push him back to look at him. He wore the same face, the same physique, but something was off. His face. It seemed paler, the angles softer, the eyes more expressive and open.
He was human. I reached up with both hands and stroked his face and hair. “What have you done?”
“I’m human now. What…what do you think?”
“I think I don’t want you to do this.”
“But…I’m human. I thought you’d like that.”
“I don’t! You’re Erasmus. A demon. I love him.”
He looked stricken. “So…you don’t love me? As I am now?”
“Of course I do, you idiot! I’d love you no matter what!”
“Excuse me,” said a voice of rounded tones and controlled strength. When I looked, it was Satan, gesturing toward me with a delicate finger…that had a huge talon on it. “If I may cut in…”
“Oh!” I broke away from Erasmus but clasped tight to his hand. “I’m…I’m so sorry. I forgot for a minute…”
“A human forgetting the sight of—well, not be a braggart or anything—but look at me. I’m pretty impressive, no?”
“Oh yes! Yes, you are. And frightening. And…big. And great…”
Erasmus hissed out of the side of his mouth, “Stop talking.”
I tried to smile but I don’t think it came out very well. And then Satan leaned toward me. He was far bigger than Baphomet at his biggest, and he leaned far, getting his long, pointed nose close to mine. My whole view was taken up with those glowing red eyes. There were pupils within, but instead of being round, they were dark squiggles that widened and narrowed as he examined me.
“You are the human, the Chosen Host.”
“Y-yes.”
“And…you fell in love…with him.” He moved that enormous finger and pointed it at Erasmus.
“Yes. I don’t want him to die. I came because I want you to take my soul instead. But before you do, I was hoping you could destroy the Booke of the Hidden. For good. Because no one should have to go through what I’ve gone through ever again. And…well. You don’t have to unbind Erasmus from it because he’s human now and I imagine he isn’t tied to it anymore, so...he saved you a step.” I was rambling but I just couldn’t stop.
He grinned. His teeth were sharp and glowy. “And yet, you would come to me…with this?”
Two fingers clasped my left arm and lifted me off the ground. I pumped my legs, terrified that he’d just drop me into his big mouth and chew.
He was looking at my left wrist, the one he was holding me by. The one with the tattoo!
Oops.
“I can explain that.”
Satan still smiled. “I think you had better.”
“I thought I could protect myself. I didn’t know if it would work. But now I see what a stupid thing it was getting it. You can burn it off if you need to.”
“Or simply pull off this arm.”
My lip trembled. “O-or…that.”
His fingers released me and I fell to the ground. Erasmus made a move toward me but seemed to be thwarted by a look from the Big Guy. “Did you really think a simple tattoo would stop me? I can easily bypass such pedestrian magic. That is for the simple demon, the Soul-Eater, like your beloved. Tell me, did you get this tattoo before or after this great love occurred?”
I rubbed my wrist and the knee I landed on. “After. And it wasn’t to protect me from him. It was to protect me from…well, you. I’m sorry.”
“Never mind,” he said, waving his hand distractedly. “It doesn’t matter, as I said. It’s good to be cautious in my presence.” He settled in again, the flames jumping around him like bubbles in a spa. “But now, mortal, tell me. Why should I do this thing for you?”
“I…I never came up with a why. I was just hoping you would. I’m…” Since I was already on the floor, I got up on my knees, grabbing hold of Erasmus’ hand. “I’m begging you. Could you please, please destroy the Booke and take my soul?”
“No!” Erasmus cried. “Please! Take mine, not hers.”
“No!” I leaped up and got in front of Erasmus. “You don’t want his. He was a demon. Who knows if it’s any good as a soul? Mine’s probably much better.”
Erasmus pushed me aside. “But I was a demon! Think of the rarity, the unique quality of such a soul. You’ve never had another like it.”
“Wait, wait,” said Satan, waving his hand. “We could do this all day. Ultimately, it’s up to me to decide.”
I couldn’t stand it. Someone make a choice!
Suddenly Erasmus reached down and clasped me to him. He was my choice. I chose him. “I love you,” I said urgently. “Why did you have to do this?”
“Because I love you, you silly human.”
“You’re human now too.”
“Yes, and I’ve detested every moment of it.”
I hugged him, pressing my face against his shoulder, getting tears all over his shirt. “It really doesn’t suit you.”
“No, it doesn’t.” He hugged me back, brushing my hair away from my face. I must have looked a fright; face and hair dirty, with bits of creature stuck to the strands. But he’d never looked more handsome, more appealing…except when he was a demon. And darn it, he smelled all wrong. None of the smoke was there anymore. Humanity really didn’t suit him…
A thought shot through me, like electricity sparking every synapse, every nerve ending. Humanity didn’t suit him at all. It was all wrong. He needed to be a demon again, but not just now. Only at the exact right time.
“I’ve thought it over,” I said abruptly, pushing Erasmus away and facing Satan again. “And I think, all and all…you should take Erasmus’ soul.”
Erasmus shot a look at me. “What?”
“As long as you promise to first destroy the Booke. I mean, that’s the deal…or there’s…there’s no deal.”
Satan curled his hand under his chin, resting his elbow on his knee. “You know, technically, I don’t have to give you anything in return. Because you’re the ones who walked into my lair.”
“I know,” I said, giving Erasmus a determined look. He was staring back at me with astonishment. “But…it’s got to be one of the most interesting things to have happened to you in a long time.”
“Oh, a very, very long time.” Satan cocked his head, measuring me. “So after all that professed love, you think it best to sacrifice your lover?”
“It’s not that…” I gazed back at Erasmus, trying to let him know with only my eyes that it wasn’t that at all. “It’s just…I mean I’m never getting out of here, am I? The Netherworld is too dangerous for a human, and with the Booke destroyed—as it should be—I can’t get out. And he’s gone to the trouble to become human for me. It’s the last gift I can give him.”
“Well, that is certainly very true. Demons are not, as a class, brave, you see. Or selfless. I’m certain it will be a tale told for thousands of years.”
“Exactly. I can’t take that away from him. It’s…the noble thing to do.”
Erasmus was still looking at me as if I’d lost my mind, eyes flicking toward Satan and then back to me. I squeezed his hand again in reassurance but really, I wasn’t sure either.
“But…it only makes sense,” I said, “if you destroy the Booke first. Otherwise, it will just look like an afterthought.”
“You think so?” said Satan.
“I mean, I don’t know the Netherworld, but I’ve met a few of its denizens and…well…”
“Yes, I know. Not the brightest demons in the ether.” His eye slid toward the demon with the feathered wings, trying to look like the wall. “Sometimes it’s a bit disappointing. That’s why they travel to other worlds, like yours, so often. They don’t know how to…care.”
“You could change it, of course. This would be a great story to tell to encourage them.”
“Hmm. Perhaps. But then I’d have to be inclined to change it and, well…I’m not.”
I stepped forward. “But will you? Will you destroy the Booke?”
“You drive a hard bargain, human. Well, let me see the thing.”
The Booke had been hiding from me and Satan, but I called to it. It argued with me, but ultimately came floating forward from the shadows, trembling a bit. I grabbed it out of the air. This is it, I thought, looking over the worn leather cover, the tarnished brass at the corners, the strange lock that didn’t need a key. I held it once to my chest—because I was feeling what the Booke was feeling and didn’t want to surrender it. But all I had to do was look over at Erasmus—who was still staring at me with hurt bewilderment—and I was done.
I walked it over to Satan and stood at the rocky edge of his pit. Holding the Booke one last time, I offered it to him. He was so large that he took that big Booke with two fingers and looked it over.
I scrambled back to my place beside Erasmus. I knew I had to stay close. While Satan was busy examining the Booke, looking like someone studying a miniature from a dollhouse, I quickly kissed Erasmus’ cheek. I hoped I was right. It was a chance. If I wasn’t right and had made the ultimate mistake, I wouldn’t be alive long enough to worry about it.
“This little thing,” said Satan, tutting to himself. “It means nothing to me. But I have enjoyed how the Powers That Be have squirmed over it, pretending that they had any power. They lorded it over you, didn’t they little Erasmus? Of course, they created you and so have some power, but not much. Only enough to keep track of this thing. But you say, little human, that it has caused chaos. That is the purpose of demons. It is our joy. Except the two of you have found a different joy. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t like that. I don’t like my demons going off on their own.”
“But my world isn’t your world…”
It was a mistake. I knew it the moment I said it. His eyes narrowed. “No, little human, it isn’t. But it is my joy in creating havoc wherever I wish, on whatever world I wish.”
“I apologize,” I said, lowering my face. “I didn’t mean to imply that you couldn’t do whatever you want. You could—”
Erasmus urgently hissed, “Stop talking!”
I did. I shut my lips tight and I clutched his hand.
Satan eyed the two of us, then his gaze traveled up over the walls to the creatures above. I hadn’t really noticed them much, but now I followed his gaze. They looked like gargoyles but alive. There were hundreds and hundreds of them. If he quirked a brow, they’d be on us. We couldn’t hope to run fast enough.
“I think of them as my children,” he said, sensing my sudden terror. “They consider themselves my guardians. But I don’t need guardians. Do I, Erasmus?”
He bowed. “No, my lord.”
“No. I have them here because it pleases me to do so. I do what I like when it pleases me. And…it pleases me now to agree to your bargain.”
I swallowed my sob of relief. Tears flowed down my dirty cheeks. “Thank you, thank you.”
He looked at the Booke, still trapped between his fingers.
The Booke was in a panic. It had never been in this state before and it sent out waves and waves of terror. Back home, it was probably releasing more monsters than it ever had before. And I was torn between dread that I had left my friends in danger of the Booke, and dread because I felt what the Booke felt and I wanted to help it, too.
Satan stared hard at it. “You are nothing,” he said to it, breath like smoke.
Suddenly, a bright light burst forth from the Booke. Satan didn’t seem bothered, didn’t squint, merely looked at it curiously. I, however, couldn’t look at it and was suddenly gripped by the searing pain and torment that the Booke experienced. I fell to my knees, gasping. That light shot beams as far as the eye could see, maybe as far as to my own world. The monsters and creatures that had used the Booke as a gateway screamed in one long wail in my head. I felt as if I were being ripped apart and I writhed on the ground, clutching my head, holding the bone and blood together with my hands and will alone. Vaguely, I sensed that Erasmus knelt over me, cradling me, but I could feel nothing but the Booke’s agony as it slowly died.
Some pages suddenly flew out of it, soaring in all directions. The cavern rumbled, but it might only have been in my head and my twisting body. The roar of thousands of years and hundreds of Chosen Hosts swelled in my brain. And I screamed and screamed with them as their shadows passed over my eyes, hundreds of them, thousands, along with dark wings, curled claws, sharp teeth, black scales—all roiling in a mass like a fevered tornado, swirling skyward. The Booke flung open, the rest of its pages flipping madly and it screamed for itself with its own voice—so old a voice—until it all died away in a long, lingering echo, until even that was gone and the echoes faded to nothing.
More than nothing. Absence of nothing.
Satan let the book slip from between his fingers with only a raised brow. It slammed to the ground with a whoosh of dust, a hollow, empty shell.
The pain was gone. The screaming and roaring in my head were gone. Slowly, I rose. I felt nauseated, empty, and pretty wobbly. I swallowed down the taste of bile and gingerly shuffled toward the book, barely believing this was happening. Falling to my knees, I reached out and touched it. Nothing. I felt nothing. I used the tip of my finger to lift the cover, but it was just a leather cover and blank pages of parchment. And in my head, it was no longer a capital B-o-o-k-e…but a plain and ordinary book.
“You did it,” I whispered hoarsely, my own throat torn from screaming. “You did it.”
“Of course I did. It was nothing to me.”
I looked up at him, so huge in his pit of flames. I swallowed. My throat felt like it was on fire. My body felt the residual pain of having something ripped away. As if the book had had a soul that had inhabited me and had been pulled out like a dagger ripping through my flesh. So vivid was this image that I put a hand to my chest, surprised to find no hole there.
I felt lost. Alone. I hadn’t realized how much a part of me the book had become. I ran a hand over my ruined face, wet with tears and fear. I swallowed again and looked back at Erasmus. He was looking at me with terror. All he had ever known was the Booke of the Hidden, and it was now gone. How must he have felt?
I staggered toward him and he caught me in his arms. He held me fast but he was trembling. When he looked at me, he seemed as lost as I was.
“We must finish the bargain,” said Satan, his mouth curling into a demon’s smile, too wide with too many teeth.
I clutched desperately at Erasmus. Had I figured it wrong? Was I making a mistake? If I was wrong, then I’d lose him for good.
We locked gazes and he looked at me with such tenderness that it wrenched a sob from me. He leaned forward and kissed me gently. “Don’t weep for me,” he said, his own eyes glossy. His hand gently moved my hair from my face and gazed at me with his human eyes. “Remember that I loved you. Remember that I still do.” He bent to kiss me again and I returned the kiss desperately.
“I love you,” I whispered, and he smiled. But then he suddenly stiffened and threw back his head, mouth opening in a silent scream.
I gripped him and looked back at Satan. “No!” I cried. I almost told him to take me instead. How I wanted to! But if this were to work, if it were, I had to keep my head. I held Erasmus tight and kept my gaze on him. He was in agony. Maybe I had only felt a small portion of what it would be like to have my soul ripped out when the book left me, because this looked far worse. I tried not to think about how many souls he had eaten and that he had once planned—like he had for every other Chosen Host—to take mine. Instead, I clutched at him, looking into his eyes. Would I be able to tell from his eyes? I couldn’t be too soon, but God help me, I couldn’t be too late either.
Carefully, I reached into my pocket. My fingers closed on the amulet that had belonged to Erasmus. It was cold where it was supposed to be warm, the eyes dead where they were supposed to glitter with the shine of gemstones. I grasped it in my hand and waited.
His eyes, so wide open, were almost the same as they were before, but softer, more human. But the light in them was fading. Just a little longer, I told myself, terrified I’d get it wrong. Just a little bit longer. He was weakening. His soul was leaving, almost all of it. His eyes…his eyes were becoming as dead as the amulet’s eyes.
I couldn’t stand to wait a moment more. I reached up and slammed the amulet to his neck. Immediately it glowed with life. “I release you!” I cried. I didn’t even know if I needed to say the words, but it couldn’t hurt.
The broken chain snaked around his neck on its own and mended, fastening tight. And the amulet’s eyes! The eyes glowed bright and hot with the demon light, as if a switch had been turned on. I watched as Erasmus’ face, so dull and ashen before, warmed not with human life, but with demon life. His skin was no longer pale, but tanned and firmed with a light touch of sun. His soft angular features sharpened again. His hair seemed suddenly more luxurious. And when he looked at me with those dark and bright demon eyes I knew he no longer doubted me. He understood what I had done. He knew that I had waited for Satan to take his human soul, as much of it as he could, and when it was mostly gone, to give him back his amulet—a part of his demon essence—to restore him back to his immortal state. I’d had to choose carefully. I couldn’t risk that it would be too late and he would be dead, but I also couldn’t choose too early because too much of his soul would remain.
He was mine again, and with a glisten of love in his eyes, I could tell that he forgave me because he knew exactly what I had done.
But so did Satan. And he wasn’t happy.