Some parents place a lot of pressure on their kids to get top grades in school. You may even be putting that same pressure on yourself. It can reach the point where you start to think “If I mess up on this test, my future is ruined.” Of course, no one test will make or break your future plans—there will be opportunities to make things better if you fail to do well on one test or report. What can cause harm is when you have to deal with the stress that accompanies unrealistic expectations.
You need to be up-front with your parents if you think they are making unreasonable demands. Let them know you are doing your best and that they need to learn to accept you as you are.
However, if you are not working as hard as you could be, and are bothered by your grades, then you can take steps to improve them. Talk to your teachers about getting some extra help, look into tutoring possibilities, be sure you do your homework and turn it in on time, and try to improve your study habits.
Determine the study schedule that works best for you. You might find you’re more productive if you do the easiest assignments first to get them out of the way, or you might prefer to save the easy stuff for later. Maybe you work well with partners, or maybe you’re better off on your own. Only experience can determine what study routine works best for you. However, once you’ve hit on an effective formula, stick to it.
Dealing with bullies and fake friends. Another major school stressor can be bullies. The word bully doesn’t refer only to the tough guy who beats up someone smaller than him. It can also be the girl who targets members of her own group. She mocks and insults those she claims to like, often convincing mutual friends to join in. If anyone calls her on that behavior, she insists she is not really serious. She’s just joking.
This form of bullying is often called relational aggression. Its purpose is to hurt another person by damaging her ability to have friendships with others. Relational aggression typically involves isolating the person, spreading false rumors about her, and name-calling.
Being put down or insulted is stressful. If you believe a friend honestly doesn’t realize she’s being mean, you need to let her know how you feel. If she laughs or insists you’re lying, you’re better off without her. A real friend would be shocked and upset to learn about your issue and willing to apologize. If she really seems sincere, then consider giving her the benefit of the doubt and accepting her apology.
If someone is bullying you, there are different ways to respond. Ignoring a bully can work, but sometimes that route is not always enough. A direct confrontation might be the best way to go. Try saying something like, “Look, I don’t know what your problem is with me, but this isn’t cool or funny and I think you’d better stop.” Make eye contact and keep your voice level—don’t whisper or shout. The bully might insult or dismiss what you’ve said at first, but at least you’ve proven you’re not an easy target.
If you can’t bring yourself to confront the bully—or you tried and it didn’t work—you can tell your parents, a teacher, or guidance counselor what’s happening. That solution is also the best plan if you fear for your physical safety. What’s most important is that you take steps to stop the bullying behavior.
From “Bring Bullying to an End,” girlshealth.gov