Chapter 26

Bradana showed Elspeth where Ian’s room was and she walked through his door happy. The fire in the fireplace had died down, but there was enough light peeking in around the tapestry covered windows to see things. She added a few more logs to the fire before retiring. She looked around the room. Different sized swords in rows adorned one wall and on each side of the rows were two crossed swords and a shield. The room felt very comfortable, and being in the place Ian grew up, made her feel like he was somehow with her.

Tapestries with a lot of green and black hung at the windows. Each different, depicting knights, hunting dogs, horses, and dragons.

A huge chest sat under one window. It was made of dark wood with iron bands around it. She walked over and lifted the lid. Kneeling down she brought up a few of the things laying on top. A rough carving of a dog reminded her of the small horse he gave her, and she smiled.

He liked working in wood. Her knight so fierce, enjoyed working with his hands. She realized the man she loved was a complex man with many layers. She replaced the carving and closed the lid and looked around. Another shield with a green dragon adorned one wall with candles on either side. An unlit torch was affixed to each wall. Fresh large lemongrass mats covered the floor and filled the room with a clean scent.

It was definitely a man’s room. She finished looking around, yawned then climbed into his bed. She fell asleep with him on her mind.

The next morning, she awoke with thoughts of Ian still running through her mind, as if she hadn’t had a break in her thoughts from the night before. The room in the morning light was every bit as inviting as it was in the night with the fire. As she was imagining her life with Ian she heard a light knock. “Come in,” she called out. Bradana entered with food and wine and set it on the table next to the bed.

“Good mornin’ my lady,” said Bradana cheerfully, as she went to pull the tapestries back to let in the light. “It’s a bonnie morning it is. Usually another maid would take care of you, but I wished tae do it myself. My daughter lives and with no scars because of you, thank you again my lady.”

“Truly no thanks needed. I am a healer and I enjoy healing people, I’m especially fond of children, they get inside my wee heart. You understand?”

“Aye, I do indeed! My children are my world. There will be the boys tae bring you a tub for your bath. My lady thought you could use the extra rest, so I didn’t rise you tae break your fast this morn. Please eat, the food is good. My lady has the best cook.”

“It smells divine,” she said as she breathed in the aroma. Suddenly she felt queasy and knew she was going to be ill. She threw back the furs and hurriedly went behind the screen where a pail sat, and wretched. She wretched again and lost the contents of her stomach from last evenings meal. She couldn’t believe she was sick on top of everything else.

“My lady are you aright?” She heard Bradana call to her and her shuffling as she grabbed a cloth and wet it from the bowl from atop the table. The maid came around the screen and leaned over to wipe her forehead and mouth. Her stomach still rolled despite it being emptied. The maid pulled back her hair and gave her an assessing stare. When she felt in control she went back to the bed and laid down. “I must have eaten something awful,” she said. “I hope no one else is sick.”

“I doona think so.” Laughed the maid. “I’m fae, and I’ve been takin’ care of the McGregors for many, many years, my lady in particular. She knew early on when she got pregnant because she’d be sick almost instantly. I always told her it was because she had so many twins. Four sets she had. Ian and Eoghan were her first. Angus and Dougal her second set. Conall and Cameron her third, and Fiona and Catriona her fourth. The others were in between and of course Akira was the baby.”

“Pregnant? How can that be? I haven’t known Ian that long.”

Bradana laughed. “I can tell you how that could be, but I think you ken. I think it’s wonderful. Ian will be so happy. He’s always wanted tae have a family. He may be tough, but family has always been important. Out of all those boys, he has the kindest heart.”

“Pregnant.” She couldn’t stop her smile. She rubbed her hand over her belly. “Ian and me, a bairn. It’s amazing. I hope he is happy about the news. You sure I haven’t caught something?”

Bradana walked over and felt her head. “You aren’t warm with fever. How do you feel now?”

“Weel quite normal actually,” and she got up. “I doona think I want tae eat, though.”

“Eat the biscuits my lady. It always helped Moira. She could keep them down. It only lasts a few months and you’ll be okay.”

“A few months? I have tae be sick every day for months? Never mind that question, tae have a bairn with Ian, I could be sick the entire time.” She laughed. A knock on the door startled her. Bradana went tae open it while she covered up. She just had on her night-rail. Two older boys brought in the tub and water. She could see the steam rise and thought a bath sounded lovely. The boys left.

Bradana helped her up. “I’ll help you with your bath if you like.”

“I think I’d like tae eat my biscuits and soak. You doona need tae help me, a quiet soak sounds good tae me.”

Bradana smiled. “Weel, pull that red rope if you need me. I’ll leave you tae your bath then.” She could see the excitement of the maid’s and knew that she couldn’t wait to tell Moira the news.

She ate the biscuits dry and swallowed the bites with water. She waited between bites feeling queasy. She finally got two down and waited to see if she’d throw up again. When her stomach felt settled, she undressed, and stepped in the warm water.

She smiled at the size of the tub, remembering her bath with Ian. She sighed, leaned back and closed her eyes. She thought of Ian and the battle he was facing. “Mither, da, if you can hear me take care of Ian.” She lay there thinking of Ian and their time together. She had absolutely no regrets and would do it again. And again. She giggled and dunked below the water.

When she went down the stairs Moira greeted her cheerfully and reached out to take her hands. “Come let’s talk.”

“Where are the girls?”

Moira laughed, “The same place they’ve been since you picked out the material for your weddin’ gown, they are in the solarium sewing. They willna let you in. They said you couldn’t see it until the day afore in case they need tae alter it. Now sit and you can tell me aboot you and Ian.” Moira grinned from ear to ear.

“Bradana told you, didn’t she?”

“Let me tell you aboot Bradana. If she kens anything, everyone kens it, but she has the kindest heart of anyone I ken. She does an excellent job, and ne’er means any harm tae anyone. We all love her. Do you want tae tell me?”

“Weel, all of a sudden I got sick this mornin’. Came on after I smelled the food. After I emptied my stomach, I felt better. I managed tae eat two biscuits though, then take my bath. Thank you, Moira. It’s wonderful being here. I never had a family and always wanted one. My parents were killed when I was wee. Then I went tae the monastery where Mither Thomas raised me. She taught me aboot healing.”

“You were ne’er taught tae run a household?”

“Nae.”

“I can teach you. Follow me around you’ll learn in no time. You speak our language weel, Elspeth.”

“It was my first language. My mither and father are Scot’s. When I went tae the church Mither Thomas would hit my mouth when I spoke my language. She said it was nae proper for a young English lady.”

“She sounds harsh.”

“Not really. She truly believed it. After Mither died she was all I had. She taught me a lot. She died two years ago, then my broth…” She choked up but couldn’t help it, she broke down and cried. “My brother…Drakkor killed him. Ian heard the truth from his verra mouth.” She sobbed and couldn’t stop.

Moira moved to put her arm around her and held her. “You’ve been through a lot Elspeth. I’m here, just let it oot. You’re my daughter now.”

She drew in a shaky breath. “Call me Els, if you like. Ian calls me Els. I like it. I doona ken why I’ve been cryin’ so much lately. I never cry, but it seems that’s all I do.”

“Els it is, then. Els, gettin’ sick isn’t the only thing that happens tae a pregnant woman. Nae, she cries a lot tae. Over nothing most of the time. But you have been through a lot. Tis only normal. Now I’ll teach you aboot being pregnant and running a household if you like.”

She sobbed harder. “I’d love it if you’d teach me. Bein’ at the monastery, I never dealt with pregnant women, Mother Thomas never spoke of the ways. I want tae be the best wife tae Ian. I want tae make him happy!”

“Weel, my plans for today are tae go tae market if you feel well enough. Ian wants you tae have clothes and jewels. The girls have been asking me for a while now. Would you like that?”

“I’d love nothing better.” Hearing laughter, she dried her eyes quickly with her hands. She couldn’t cover up her red eyes though, and the girls were smart. Catching her embarrassment Moira moved away.

“Weel be going tae market today. Els said she’d like tae go,” said Moira.

The girls squealed and ran to the table. Akira caught sight of her red eyes and said, “Why you cryin’ Elspeth?”

Moira looked at her daughter, exasperated, “She’s pregnant, Akira. I’ve told you what it is like.”

The girls squealed again louder. Akira piped up. “That’s wonderful. Does Ian ken? How long? When did you find oot? The weddin’ mither. Shouldn’t it be right away, you ken, rounded belly and everythin’…wouldn’t want people tae talk aboot…”

“Akira!” Moira gave her a stern look.

“I mean we should be makin’ the weddin’ plans. I remember you said you cried all the time with Finn. Da, couldn’t keep her from it. And sick. Mither said she was sick all the time, retching.”

“Akira! Stop it now. Elspeth just found out. She was sick this morning. I think it’d be nice if we all acted like the family we are and take good care of her.”

“I’m sorry Elspeth.” Akira slumped. “My mouth gets the better of me. Mither always says it will get me in trouble.”

She laughed. “I absolutely adore having the sisters I never had. No need tae apologize. I love the way you talk, but your mither is right, some may not like it. You can be yourself with me Akira, I find you refreshin’.”

“See mither, I’m refreshin’!” she ran to hug her and so did the other girls. “Och we are going tae market today! We best get ready.” And they all ran upstairs. Leaving Moira to shake her head.

“Those girls, especially Akira are going tae be the death of me.” Moira laughed. “Come let me show you the kitchens and you can talk tae the cook while the girls get ready. I am tae go over the list of this week’s menu with her. She’s not very talkative, our cook, and strict, her kitchens are always clean, but she is the best cook I’ve ever kenned.” Moira slipped her arm through hers and it gave her a warm feeling.

After a quick packing, they found themselves on the way. The sun was shining. They all rode beautiful horses. Moira brought two large guards, because it was not safe for a group of women to travel alone. Plus, they’d have to stay in a lodge for the night.

Moira said she and the girls had made the trip many times. The inn keepers were friends and they would stop there first to claim their largest room.

Moira mentioned they could mist to the market, but she thought better of it. She wasn’t sure she was full vampire yet, so hadn’t better try. She was early in her pregnancy. She didn’t know how traveling that way would affect the baby. Ian would never forgive her if something happened. She thought about it and didn’t know what being a vampire entailed. Ian hadn’t had the time to explain things. She would have to ask Ian’s mither later. The skies were clear and everyone was talking. She was enjoying herself immensely. They all were.

Catriona said, “I forgot how much fun riding a horse is.”

She took a deep breath of the clean air, glad that her stomach was staying calm. “I always enjoyed it too. I’d ride whenever I could. There’s just something aboot a horse given its head and running through fields. It’s a feeling of unexplainable freedom.”

“When I’m a warrior, I’m going tae have a black stallion, the biggest you have ever seen. His name will be Night and he’ll prance. I’ll have my own armor, and people will get oot of my way. I already ken how tae throw knives, and I practice with a wooden sword. Ian is goin’ tae get me a real one someday. I can’t wait. I want it now, but he said I have tae get better with the wooden one. He practices with me sometimes. I love it when he is home. Are you both going tae live here when ye marry? I doona want Ian tae move away. You should live with us.”

“I’ll live wherever Ian does. I hope tae make a home somewhere.”

“Of course, she can live with us.” Moira piped up. Where else would they live?”

She thought of Wesladus. Merlin would want him there with his troops. She loved it there, but she enjoyed the McGregor castle, loch, and certainly the cottage, as well. She didn’t mention her thoughts because she was unsure what their future held.

After securing their room and leaving the horses at the stables they walked to the market. She had never seen anything so big or colorful. It was bustling with men and women calling out wares, people buying and laughing, food vendors with smoking fires and wonderfully delicious smells of food. At least she was feeling good, her stomach finally settled.

Brightly colored flags of all colors of the rainbow fluttered in the breeze. She’d eaten only the two biscuits and her stomach growled. She was hungry but was nervous about eating. The smells didn’t bother her, but she wasn’t going to take a chance on eating, at least not yet. She certainly didn’t want to become ill at market. The girls grabbed her hands and pulled her toward a shop with gowns. The wide stone house held a weaving loom in the window and piles of dresses on a table outside. The beautiful day dresses caught her eye.

“Her really good gowns are inside,” said Fiona. “She’s the best dressmaker that ever lived. Come let’s go inside.” She followed Fiona, Catriona, and Moira inside while the others remained outside.

Fiona was right. The gowns were fit for a queen. Moira smiled at her. “Get whatever you fancy. Ian insists. We wouldn’t want tae disappoint him.” She didn’t have to say it twice. “I think you should have at least twelve,” said Moira, leaving her shocked at the thought of owning so many dresses.

She picked out seven of the most beautiful dresses she had ever seen. Two green, one light and one dark to match her eyes, a blue, a dark purple, a rust colored, a red, and a yellow.

She didn’t think the red would go with her hair, but Moira insisted it enhanced her hair, and brought out the highlights. Moira picked out two for herself and the two girls got five each as well. Then they moved on to day dresses.

She and Moira looked at several. She settled on seven. Moira insisted she have at least that many. And even though she hated corsets, she liked the way they pushed her breasts high. So, she got those too.

There were satin slippers to match her gowns and several pairs of day slippers to choose from. She also purchased under shifts and several nightdresses. Eight sheer ones, as sheer as the ones Merlin had gifted her. She thought Ian would be pleased with those the most. She smiled thinking of wearing them for him but more at the thought of him taking them off.

After the girls and Moira finished purchasing their things they walked the market streets until they came to a jeweler’s shop. Moira insisted she buy jewelry to match her dresses. She found necklaces of rubies for her red gown, and citrine for the yellow and green gowns, amethyst for the purple, and cobalt for her blue gown. She was happy with these.

Moira disappeared while she was looking at the pieces but soon returned to help her make the final decisions. The girls didn’t get jewels, nor did Moira, she said they had more than enough.

The experience was so exciting she found herself rambling much as Akira did. They spent the rest of the day looking around. They stopped to purchase small fruit pies they ate along the way. Much to her surprise she didn’t feel ill at all. She actually felt great.

By the time they returned to the inn they were all exhausted and requested dinner be sent to their room. She laid her gowns out on one of the beds and placed the necklaces over her gowns, switching back and forth, then stepping back to admire them.

“They’re bonnie,” said Moira, admiring her choices. “Like you. Ian will be thrilled.”

“Speaking of him, I doona ken if they battled today, or if it’s tomorrow, but I’m verra worried for him and his brothers.”

“After hundreds of years you think you wouldn’t be. But I am too. I always worry when they go tae battle, but I’ve been lucky for the most part. I did lose Lachlan and Eoghan. I miss them so much. Lachlan was and is the love of my life. We kenned when we first met, we belonged together. It’s just the way of our kind.

“We wait, and wait, then one-day you look across a room and there he is. That was the way it was with Lachlan.” Moira leaned her head back and sighed. “I could never love another man. My boys are enough for now. I’ll be with Lachlan again. I ken it.

“I too, got pregnant right away,” she whispered. Causing them both to laugh.

“It was me. I couldn’t keep my hands off him. I drove him nuts. I wore a very low-cut gown and a corset that made my breasts practically jump oot. The dress was tight and had a bow on my arse. He stared at me from the moment I entered the room. When I asked him to walk with me, he couldn’t wait tae get outside. Needless tae say, he took me beneath a big oak tree on a full moon night.” Moira laughed. “I had grass stains on my behind for days.”

She joined in Moira’s full out laugh at the image that created.

“I guess I’m just as bad. Ian and I were so dirty from the two days in the cave we took a bath together. He was being very gentlemanly washing my back and I wanted him so bad.

“So, I stood up and bent over in front of his face with the offer to wash his hair. He shouted at me that a mon could only take so much and carried me tae the bed drippin’ wet.”

This time Moira joined her in laughter. It felt so right talking to Moira. Sharing the things daughters shared with mothers and friends. It almost made her cry again, this time with happiness.

Back at the castle she waited for Ian. She didn’t want to wear any of her new dresses until he was there to see them. Days went by and she became sicker every day. Now she threw up morning, noon, and night. She didn’t think it’d ever quit. She could barely hold down anything, but worse she was becoming frantic with worry for Ian.

She sat on his bed lovingly holding the horse he had given her. Her only close tie to the last time they were together. She only hoped that in giving her his good luck piece he hadn’t compromised his safety. A tear dropped on the piece of wood, turning the wood a shade darker. She closed her hand around it and lay back.

He’d promised to return right after the battle. That was at least five days ago. Moira didn’t say anything, but Elspeth could tell she was worried too. When it got to be ten days with no word, Elspeth cried daily. When she wasn’t retching she was crying. Moira tried to help.

Finally, she told Moira her suspicions. “He’s hurt or dead Moira. I can feel it in my heart. It hurts so bad.” Moira had told her she’d known when Lachlan and Eoghan died so she too feared the worst. They were sitting at the table talking when Akira came running in. “There’s a green dragon in our yard! Hurry!”

They ran outside. Saphira was standing there. Elspeth broke out in tears. She screamed, “It’s Ian isn’t it! Saphira what’s wrong?”

“He lives child, but he’s hurt badly. He’s not healing and he should be by now. I’ve come to bring you to him. Maybe you can heal him.”

“Who’s watching Kalon and Sorrilth?”

“Ator, he too was injured in battle. He’s almost well, but it’s difficult for him to fly. His wing was damaged but new bone and scales are growing. He’ll be all right. It’s Ian everyone is worried about. He won’t talk. His brothers think he blames himself for the large number of deaths.”

“Did we lose, Saphira?”

“No, they got all the Kearals and Asurads, his brothers think Ian feels responsible for not saving those fae and vampires as well.”

“Nonsense, he did everything for all those men.” She started to cry.

“What is it?” asked Moira. “What did she say?”

Elspeth repeated it quickly. “I must go Moira. Thank you so much for everything.” She hugged Moira and apologized for her tears soaking her dress. “I’ll get my things later, Moira.”

“Of course, you must go. I’ll see you get them. Please send word when you can.”

Elspeth nodded, and Saphira took to the skies.

In a matter of minutes which seemed like years they were in Wesladus. She jumped down and without a word ran through the doors past Ian’s brothers who stood right inside, up the stairs, and into their room.

What she saw stunned her. Her man lying there, his cheeks gray and hollow, eyes glazed and yellowed, staring at the ceiling. She didn’t notice Angus in the dark corner until he spoke.

“We take turns watching him. Somethin’s not right. He should have healed days ago, but his wound continues tae leak. We’ve tried giving him blood and he refuses it. We thought maybe you can heal him, talk tae him, reason with him. I’ve never in my life seen Ian like this afore, it’s not like him. Not at all. I’m verra worried. The wound is on his right side, no others. He willna speak.” After several moments of heavy silence, he continued, “Weel, I’ll leave you two alone. Good luck, you need it.”

She waited until Angus left and she leaned over Ian and kissed his forehead. He just lay there, showing no recognition of her. She pulled back the furs and saw the clean bandages on his side. She gently started to remove them. Ian moved slightly. After she got them off she put her hands above the wound to heal it. Ian reached quickly and grabbed her hands. “Nae,” he said. “Doona.” He turned his head away.

“Ian, what’s happened tae you?! Let me heal you. Please for the sake of the gods!”

Ian responded, “Damned be the gods.”

“What is wrong with you, Ian? Damn you talk tae me! I’m tae be your wife!”

“I’m not fit tae be your husband, Elspeth. Find someone who is. Please leave and doona try tae heal me.” He turned his face away.

“Nae, damn you! You talk tae me now!” and she pulled his face toward her. “I’m not leaving until you tell me why you are like this.”

“If I tell you, will you leave?”

“If that’s what you truly want, yes.”

Ian barely looked at her, sighed deeply, and coughed. He wiped sweat from his head and leaned back. “I’ve made some horrible mistakes and it cost many men their lives.”

“What do you mean?”

“First, I dinna save the ether bottles or at least remove the caps to free their souls. But my biggest mistake was thinking I kenned it all. I dinna ask for help from the werewolves and they ultimately saved us. My pride Elspeth. Those men are dead because of my pride. I doona deserve tae live.”

“Ian you can feel bad, people make mistakes, it happens, you gave those men everything you had tae give. You cared for them, trained them, made decisions tae help them. You’re fighting against evil. It’s the evil tae blame nae you. You dinna change those vampires and fae. You dinna steal their ether. You fought against it the best you kenned how. Doona blame yourself. If you die, then they win. Is that what you want? Your men doona blame you, they love you. You are a good leader, a good mon. You are going tae be me husband. Someday we’ll have children…”

“I’m not fit tae be a father, or husband, or leader. If you are finished, please go.”

“Now you listen tae me, Ian McGregor! You are doin’ nothing, but feelin’ sorry for yourself. Let me heal you and get your arse from that bed. Show your men you willna lay down and die. If you doona they willna have confidence in themselves. You are not a quitter, doona let them think you are.”

“Are you finished?”

“Nae, I’ll never be finished with you. You saved me, you dinna leave my side, and I’ll be damned if I leave yours. It willna happen, not now, not ever. You understand me Ian McGregor? Nae, Nae, I willna leave. Now let me heal you.”

“Please leave.” He turned away again.

Unsure what to do. She kept her word and she left. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she was sobbing. The brothers stood there, concern etched on their faces.

“What happened, Elspeth?” asked Angus. “Did he talk?”

“Aye, he blames himself for all the deaths and not just those of his men, but for not saving the Kearals as well. He said he made a mistake by not goin’ tae ask the werewolves for help. He said his poor decisions killed those men.”

A stranger Elspeth never met before stepped forward. “I’m Larc, Alpha of the werewolves, the Ogourax. Yes, I would have helped, and when he called on the animals we came. I have men who want to join this army and fight against Athdar and Drakkor. Ian was wrong when he said to me he didn’t think we’d want to help because it wasn’t our fight.

“Maybe it wasn’t then, but we’ve made it so. Our world is in danger as well. Ian is a good leader; any number of my men would follow him in battle. Hell, I would. He’s lost men, casualties of war. He didn’t kill them. He must figure that out for himself. If he wants to wallow in it for a while, it’s his choice. He’ll eventually come around.”

****

Ian lay in bed, his head pounding. There was something he had to do. What was it. Els…Els was here. He loved Elspeth he knew he loved her. He had to save her. How, from what? He reached up and grabbed his head. A small voice came through to him. “Remember who you are.” Who was he really. I’m not fit to live. I must die. No! I must live. I have to live. At that thought, a sharp pain surged through his skull. Something happened, what happened?

“Fight this!” he said aloud. “For Elspeth, fight this before it is too late. Must get to her.” He rolled to the side of the bed and placed his feet on the floor. One foot in front of the other he told himself. Must…save Elspeth. He made it halfway down the stairs in time to hear Larc comment on how he should wallow in it.

“Els?” he said. “He’s right. I am wallowing. It’s time tae stop. You’re right. If I let myself die, they’ve won.” Pain shot through his skull. “Musss…t fight this. Musst.” He wobbled and almost fell from the stairs. “I love you, Els,” he whispered. Then his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he collapsed.

Angus and Connor moved with the speed of light and grabbed him before he injured himself further. Angus quickly picked Ian up and they headed upstairs. She ran behind them into the bedroom. She still felt nauseous, but she hadn’t eaten, she didn’t think she’d get ill, but she felt her stomach roll. Not now she thought and calmed herself. After they laid him down, Elspeth saw the blood, a lot of blood. He was so thin as if he’d been sucked dry. She turned to Angus, “Somethings not right about him. I have to heal him while he’s out. Did he get hit on the head?”

“Nae, just the blade cut to his side,” said Angus. “Unless he was hit and we didn’t see where. But he needs blood, please heal him Elspeth, then I will give him that.”

Elspeth raised her hands above the wound and chanted with all she had to give. Instantly a greenish white light surrounded her and flowed from her hands through Ian. Within seconds his wound stitched tight and the bleeding stopped.

She felt something in the healing light and her connection with him opened something that had a residual, black oily feel to it. The something not right was there in his mind, she felt it, then she heard it. Echo’s, the echoes of what the voice had told him. Suddenly she understood it all. She chanted louder, deeper, and called on more gods. She knew what she had to do to heal him, and she did it. The gods heard her call and came en masse. Through the green light appeared a white ray that went in his head causing his face to glow. When she felt the heat dissipate she removed her hands. She turned to look at Angus and fainted.

Angus immediately grabbed her and lay her down next to Ian. “Get some water,” he said.

Connor grabbed a glass from the table and handed it to Angus. Angus splashed some on Elspeth’s face and she sputtered then opened her eyes. “What did you do that for?”

“You fainted, I was worried, that is what you do to people who faint,” he said smiling.

Suddenly everything came back to her. “You need to give Ian blood. Wake him. We need to talk. I ken what happened.” Angus and Connor were both stunned speechless. Angus finally spoke, “You are an amazin’ woman Elspeth, it’s no wonder our Ian loves you.”

“Thank you,” she said. “Now he needs blood.”

Ian slowly awoke and looked at Elspeth. “I’m sorry, Els. Can you forgive me? I didn’t mean tae hurt you. You were right. I was feelin’ sorry for myself. I’ll take that blood now Angus, Connor. If you want tae leave, Els…”

“Nae, I’m not leaving…you doona remember do you?”

“Remember what?” he asked.

“Let’s get some blood in you, and we’ll all talk. I ken what happened tae you, Ian,” she said looking up at his brothers. She went to the edge of the bed and sat down beside him. Angus went to the other side of Ian and held out his arm. Ian’s fangs came down and he latched on.

She watched in fascination as Ian took the nourishment he needed. Angus stopped him from taking too much, then Connor stepped up to give him more.

“He’ll need more later today tae heal fully,” said Angus. “It was a severe wound, and he refused nourishment or any help. We had tae wait for him tae pass oot before we could bandage him. He took them off for a while but became too weak to fight us. I’m glad you’re here, sister. Thank you for talking some sense into him.”

Connor bent down and kissed her cheek. The men stood to leave but Connor paused, “Welcome home brother. I’ll leave and let Elspeth help you with a bath.”

****

Later downstairs, Ian sat and listened intently to Elspeth sitting at the end of the long table holding his hand. The great meeting room was eerily quiet as all the brothers, Larc, and Lysanthir listened intently at what she was saying. When she finished, Ian cleared his throat.

“I doona remember,” he said. “These kearals are more dangerous than I thought. We will have to be extra careful. We must tell all the men about this ability they have. I want to say thank you all for not giving up on me, thank you Els for healing me, even after I refused it. You must ken that was not me.” Everyone around the table agreed and a few relieved sighs were heard.

“Well that explains a lot. How do you feel now?” asked Larc with a worried look.

“I actually feel great. Really great to be honest. If Elspeth could bottle whatever she shot me with, we could heal the entire planet of people.”

“I had extra help,” she said. “A few extra gods stepped up.”

He wondered about that, but he felt revitalized, like a new man. It was time he acted like the man he knew he was. This wouldn’t happen again, but neither would he take things for granted. If he needed help with something, he’d by god ask for it. His pride got shaved, and he supposed he had that coming. He wasn’t going to lose Elspeth.

After his brothers left, and he and Elspeth were once again alone in the bedroom, he looked at Elspeth and wiggled his eyebrows. She in turn laughed. “I ken that look Ian, and no it willna happen. You aren’t completely healed. I will help you get ready for bed, and then it is to sleep for you.”

After he was undressed and he lay upon the bed, he pulled Elspeth down beside him where she sat. He was tired and he was still a little weak. “I suppose you are right, I haven’t the energy tae make proper love tae you, but I can think aboot it. You make my blood run hot, and all I can think aboot is how I’d like tae take you down and make love tae you until the sun comes up. I’ve missed you Els, when I was gone, you are all I thought aboot. Come,” he said, “and lay beside me. Let me hold you.”

She smiled at him, crawled in beside him, and he pulled her close. He put his face in her hair, inhaled deeply and fell asleep.

****

The next day Elspeth waited as the brothers took turns giving Ian blood. She kept her morning sickness from him and after the nooning lunch she managed to break away once more when she became ill. It seemed the sickness was slacking off some and had hoped when she healed him it had healed her sickness, but it wasn’t the case.

It seemed it only worked for the short time she was healing him. She sighed, she guessed some things were meant to be, she couldn’t deny nature. It was evening and Ian was up and around feeling much better. When she went to check on him he was building a fire in the fireplace.

“Good you are here. I thought we might have dinner up here tonight, just the two of us.”

“That sounds wonderful, I’ll go…”

“Nae, let me. You’ve been takin’ care of me. I’ll go and get us dinner. I’ll be back,” he said as he opened the door, then turned to smile at her. “You make yourself comfortable.”

After he left, she was glad he wanted to eat together, alone. It was the perfect time to tell him. She wanted to look nice for him, beautiful for him. She’d left one nightdress here and a day dress she could wear tomorrow. She was glad she had something to change in to because everything else was at the McGregor Keep. She retrieved the white night-rail she’d left behind. It wasn’t her favorite blue one but it would do. Now she wished she had her new things. Soon, she thought. She put it on and the feel of the soft material brushing her breasts made them peak. She felt beautiful. She rushed to brush her hair then stood in front of the low fire so her silhouette showed through.

Ian came up with food and stumbled with the tray when he saw her. She smiled at him and she saw his control slip even more. “Damn woman! Now the only thing I want tae eat is you.” He sat the food down and reached for her. Pulling her close to him, he ran his hands slowly over her, touching her through the fabric.

“You have tae wait a bit, Ian. I need tae eat, and we need tae talk.” Ian instantly had a worried look on his face. She laughed. “Doona look so worried, it isn’t bad.”

“Okay…but you’ll drive me wild wearing that. You are so bonnie, Els.” They sat at the small table and ate.

She was so hungry and it smelled so good. She was ravenous. The days of being ill had left her hungry. Maybe since she was with Ian and no longer worried, it would abate. Between them they cleaned the trenchers of food. Then he got up and stoked the fire, throwing on some logs.

“Come luv, sit on my lap and we’ll enjoy this mighty fire.” She went and sat, putting her arms around his neck.

She kissed him softly. “There’s somethin’ I need tae tell you, Ian.” Her stomach rolled. Gods not now. Too late. She shouldn’t have eaten so much. She jumped up and ran behind the screen barely making it before she retched and lost the contents of her stomach into the pail. She gagged and retched again and again.

Ian jumped up. “What’s wrong Els? Why are you sick?” He ran to the table where the bowl of water sat. He wet the cloth and ran to her. “What is it, sweetling?” he asked concerned. She couldn’t talk as the waves of nausea rolled over her.

He leaned over and pulled her hair back. “What can I do? Please Els, your scaring me. Did you eat something bad, are you poisoned?” She tried to catch her breath. Her stomach heaved again.

“I canna tal…” her words were cut off as she threw up again. “Ian, I…I och, goddesses. I’m sick.”

“I ken. I’m here. Did I make you sick, because I’m so sorry about earlier.”

She laughed in between bouts of sickness. “Nae, not earlier, weel earlier, earlier…” She laughed then sobbed. She couldn’t get anything right. She wanted to tell him while sitting on his lap in front of the fire. Not like this.

He held her and washed her face, and waited a bit to ask, “Better?”

“Aye, nae, och, I doona ken, Ian.” He picked her up and carried her to the bed and gently laid her down. “Here drink this.” He poured a glass of water from the pitcher and picked her head up so she could drink. After a few sips, she lay her head back down, silently crying, tears rolling from her eyes.

“I wanted it tae be a surprise. I was goin’ to wait tae tell you, but for as sick as I am, all the time, you’d figure it oot, and I wanted tae tell you, but not like this.”

He got up rinsed the cloth and came right back. “Tell me what?” he asked gently wiping the corners of her mouth. “Have you got a sickness? Should I call for a healer?” he kissed her forehead. “Look at me dearling. What is it?”

She just blurted out, “We’re going tae have a bairn.” She sobbed and…waited. “Och, Ian, say somethin’.”

He stared at her, apparently at a loss for words. “Did you just say we’re goin’ tae have a bairn?” Tears filled his eyes. “You…and me?”

“No, me and a goat,” she said grinning. “Of course, you and me.”

“We’re tae have a bairn? Och, Els. That’s the greatest gift a mon could have from the woman he loves. Are you certain?”

“Verra. Your Mither told me. I’m certain of it now. I got sick the first day at your Mither’s. Bradana brought me breakfast and the smell made me sick. At first it was just mornings. Now it seems every time I eat, I get sick. Are you happy Ian?” She asked, scared of how he might feel.

“My bonnie, bonnie wife tae be. How could you ask? Aye, I could nae be happier.” He teared up again and put his face on her belly. “I’ve always wanted a woman tae love, and her tae love me. I’ve always wanted bairns. Lots of them. A love like my Ma and Da’s. Are you happy, Els?”

She sobbed. “Ian, I love you so. When I first got back here and saw you, you scared me. I felt my world crumble. I thought I lost you. My heart broke, Ian.”

“I ken Els, regardless of what happened to me, I still didn’t like the fact so many were lost. And with that mind meld thing that kearal did on me, I forgot who I was for a bit. It still doesn’t change the fact that I’m tired of the bloodshed and the death of losing good men. Men with families. When my pride got in the way of asking for help from ones who are strong enough tae kill the Kearals, I felt responsible for those deaths, regardless of what the kearal did to me. That guilt I will always carry.

“But you were right about everythin’ you said. I willna give up this fight, because if I do the consequences would be devastatin’. These men need a leader, so first light tomorrow, I’m goin’ tae speak tae Larc about he and his men joinin’ us.”