WITH THE CLINIC CLOSED, Sunday was the best day for Jake to catch up on life, and he strapped Mika into his car seat so they could head to Fairbanks. His parents had offered to have him and the baby drive with them to get supplies, but he’d rather not be stuck going to some of the stores to do the things his mother considered vital. Like picking out balloons and other stuff for the party she was planning for the boy.
“Your grandma is pretty excited about your birthday, Mika,” he said. “Does it hurt your feelings that I don’t want to do any of the decorating she thinks is so important? All I want is to show up with you and eat cake—does that make me a bad dad?”
Mika grinned, babbled and kicked his feet, which Jake took as confirmation that the child didn’t think he was a bad father at all. He leaned in to kiss the baby’s cheek, and as he did so he suddenly remembered Rory’s expression when she’d walked into the office and seen him doing exactly that.
It could only be described as devastated. Every drop of color had drained from her face, and he’d been about to hand the baby to his mother and reach for Rory because he’d been so worried she might faint. Then she’d turned and practically run from the room, and he’d let her go. He knew the woman inside out, and the last thing she ever wanted from anyone was sympathy.
Even when life had thrown such a cruel blow at them she’d refused to lean on anyone, had cut herself off from her parents and her friends.
And from him. Especially him.
He hadn’t known what to do. He’d tried over and over to reach out to her. To hold her. To have them grieve together. To heal together, somehow move on with their lives together after this huge loss.
But what had she done?
She’d upped and left, crushing his dreams. She’d abandoned their plans, their future, the deep love they’d shared. She’d abandoned him, leaving him to bleed alone.
His jaw tightened with the memories. Yeah, she’d left without so much as a goodbye, and as far as he was concerned the shorter her stay here in Eudemonia, the better. He wanted to be the bigger person, to forgive and forget and move on. He thought he had. But from the first second he’d seen her in her mother’s living room, he’d known he was wrong.
What he’d felt at that moment had forced him to face the fact that he’d never forgotten even one little thing about her: her spunky, take-no-prisoners attitude toward life, softened by her loving and giving nature, her independent-to-a-fault spitfire nature that got her into trouble sometimes, her heart-shaped pixie-like face that always changed expression with the wind. Sweet, amused, angry, contrite... You never knew for sure what you’d see there.
He still remembered the exact moment he’d met her, in the fourth grade at the school outside Fairbanks he’d gone to since kindergarten. Remembered the way her beautiful green eyes had fixed on his when he’d told the kid bullying the new girl with the weird clothes to buzz off.
She had looked at him with admiration and awe, as if he was Superman, and from that moment on he’d loved spending time with her. Fishing, bicycling, playing ball, riding snow machines. She’d always acted like he was the best person in the whole world to spend time with, and he’d felt exactly the same about her.
Then college had come—and living in the same dorm building had changed things. One night, with a few illegal beers under their belts, talking had turned into kissing, and the electricity had shocked them both. From that moment their relationship had changed, and what he’d seen when he looked into her eyes had been exactly what he’d felt for her. A love so deep and clear it had made him weak, just as it had also made him strong.
He closed his eyes. She’d been a part of him for so long. And then she’d been gone for nearly as long. All through medical school without her, then moving back here with no Rory around anymore, he’d been able to fool himself that she no longer was.
He’d been wrong.
He shoved down the memories and opened his eyes to kiss Mika’s soft hair before closing the door, wishing he could kiss Rory, too, and hating himself for that. What they’d had had been special, but she’d destroyed it—and a part of him along with it. He’d better keep remembering that. She couldn’t be trusted to be honest, to share what she was feeling, to stick around. No way could he let her sneak back inside his heart for even the few days she would be home.
Not home. Not for her—not anymore.
He dragged his thoughts back to the list of things he needed in Fairbanks and got in the driver’s seat. The truck started with a roar. He stared up at the heavy gray sky, thinking he should get in more supplies than usual, with the possibility of snow on the way. October didn’t usually have precipitation, but you never knew. And any Alaskan had to be well prepared for anything.
He’d barely gone five miles past the fourth and last traffic light in Eudemonia when his phone rang and he saw it was Ellie.
“What’s up?”
“I got a frantic phone call from Pooky Green, saying his son got hurt riding his dirt bike. He’s sure his arm’s broken and wants to bring him to the clinic. I called your dad, but he said they’re already in Fairbanks.”
“Did you tell him we don’t do broken bones? He needs to take him to the ER in Fairbanks.”
“Well, actually, I...um...”
Something about her sheepish and apologetic tone had him wondering what was coming next. “What? Spit it out.”
“I know Rory is a bone specialist, who works with kids, even. So I told Pooky to bring him into the clinic and see if she can look at him. His car isn’t running too well, and he’s worried about driving it all the way to Fairbanks before he works on it. So I figured why not see if she can do something first?”
“Damn it, Ellie.” He didn’t want to see Rory, and he sure as hell didn’t want to work with her. “I wish you’d stop trying to take care of everyone in town. I’m going to Fairbanks, so I’ll take the kid to the ER.”
“Um... I already called Rory. She said she’d come to the clinic to look at him, and see what she thinks. She’s already on her way. But you don’t need to come—I’ll let her in and show her where everything is.”
Jake swore under his breath, counted to ten, then unlocked his jaw. “No one’s going to work at the clinic without either me or Dad around. I’ll meet her there. But please don’t do this again.”
“Oh, I won’t! Thanks, Jake! I know Pooky and Eli really appreciate it. You’re the best.”
Her elated tone had him shaking his head, realizing she considered this a huge victory and hadn’t listened to a thing he’d said. “I’m going to talk to Dad about docking your pay for this.”
Her peal of laughter in his ear before he hung up tugged a reluctant grin out of him. Yeah, there was nothing like working in a place where you’d known everyone your whole life.
But Rory had chosen to leave it all behind her.
He wasn’t going to think about it. Not now, and not ever. It was long ago and didn’t matter anymore. He’d gotten pretty good at almost forgetting all about her. He’d moved on with his life, successfully shoving away all the hurt and pain and disbelief that, in the middle of the worst time in both their lives, she’d left without a word. Now here she was again, bringing memories back.
He didn’t want to get stirred up about her again. His life here was good, and he had little Mika now, to enrich his life and make him laugh. Yeah, maybe it would be nice to find a woman to share his life with someday, but when he did he’d be sure it was someone who’d stick it out through the tough times. Who’d be truly committed to staying in Eudemonia forever.
He swung his truck into the parking lot and recognized Rory’s rental car from when it had been parked in front of her mom’s house. It looked like Pooky was already there, too, and he fought down the burn in his gut at the fact that the woman who’d abandoned him had waltzed into his clinic like she had a right to be there.
He drew in a deep, calming breath. It probably wasn’t fair of him to feel that way. She’d come because Ellie had asked her to, and she was obviously trying to help. If she could save Pooky and his kid a trip to the ER he should be happy about that.
With Mika in his arms, he went in and found the whole crew in the first exam room. Rory was taking the boy’s pulse, looking down at her wrist. The bright overhead light brought out the highlights of her smooth soft hair that skimmed across her cheek as she studied her watch.
“Your pulse is a little fast, but it’s probably because you’re in pain,” she said, sending a smile to Eli. “Doesn’t look like any break has affected your arteries or circulation, but I’m going to examine your hand and wrist now, just to be sure. Does it feel numb or tingly?”
“No. Just my arm hurts super-bad.”
She nodded. “From the position of your arm, I’m positive it’s a dislocated elbow—and, yeah, that’s really painful, I know. The good news is I can manipulate it back into position. But we’ll get an X-ray to confirm that there’s nothing broken before I do that.”
Jake could see the kid’s arm was misshapen, and twisted right at the elbow, and found he had to agree with her diagnosis. He handed Mika to Ellie, then stepped forward. Rory lifted her head, obviously surprised to see him—which seemed ridiculous, considering he and his father were the only two doctors who worked there.
“I’ll get the X-ray taken care of,” he said.
“Ellie said she’d get the machine. I know how to operate most all of them.”
“Yeah, well, this is my family’s clinic and it’s my responsibility to make sure everybody here gets the care they need.”
Her lips tightened before she turned back to examine Eli’s hand and fingers, moving them up and down and asking the boy questions.
Jake felt slightly annoyed with himself that he’d spoken in such a harsh tone. It wasn’t very professional and she didn’t deserve it. But somehow he hadn’t been able to help the way it came out. Being around her seemed to dredge up all the bad feelings and resentment he’d thought he’d put behind him.
“Thanks again for seeing him, Rory. I can’t believe you’re a bone doctor these days,” Pooky said.
“Neither can my mother.” Rory sent him one of her cute grins before her expression turned calm and professional again.
Jake watched Rory work, carefully touching and examining the boy’s arm until she finally placed his hand gently on his lap. “Everything seems okay circulation-wise,” Rory said. “Let’s get that X-ray to confirm nothing’s broken before I move your elbow back into place.”
“Here’s the machine,” Ellie said, rolling the portable X-ray into the room with one hand, holding Mika on her hip with the other.
“I was just coming to get it,” Jake said, frustrated that he was standing there doing nothing while everyone else was working in his clinic. “Why don’t you take Mika to my office now?”
Ellie gave him a look that said he was being rude and, damn it, he knew he deserved it.
He focused on getting pictures of the boy’s arm in several positions, with Rory silently assisting beside him. When they were finished her shoulder pressed into his side as they both studied the X-rays, and he edged slightly away to try to escape the warmth of her body.
“Yep—see there?” she said, pointing. “Thankfully nothing’s broken. I can reduce the elbow back to its correct alignment, but you probably know it’ll hurt like crazy.” Her eyes looked up to meet his. “Do you have any twilight sleep or some other conscious sedation he can have while I do it?”
“We do. Hardly ever have a need for it, since we don’t do this kind of thing here, but occasionally I have someone in a lot of pain or nearly hysterical, and we need to get them relaxed and out of it.”
“Good.”
They both showed Eli and his dad the X-rays, explaining what they were looking at and what Rory planned to do.
Considering Rory’s take-charge nature, Jake was surprised at how she included him in the conversation—like they were a team instead of her taking over the whole thing. Which made him feel even more ashamed of his attitude about her being here today and taking care of the boy so he didn’t have to take a trip to the city and wait hours to be seen in the ER.
To make up for it, he knew it was time to verbally give her credit.
“You’re lucky Dr. Anderson is in town for a few days and can take care of you, Eli,” he said. “Only a trained orthopedic surgeon should do an elbow reduction on anyone other than a toddler. Otherwise you’d have had to go to Fairbanks.”
“But it’s good that you have all the other stuff we need here,” she said, and the smile in her eyes made him even gladder that he’d made the gesture to applaud her. “I bet you have the right kind of splint, but if you don’t I brought a few different kinds of splints and casts, not knowing what we might need.”
“You brought splints and casts in your luggage? I guess you don’t believe in packing light.”
“You never know when a medical emergency is going to arise. I like to be prepared—as you know.”
Yeah, he did know. He’d often teased her about it, since she’d always made sure she had a more extensive emergency preparedness supply than most. Probably because for a long time her dad hadn’t been well enough to take care of such things, and her mom had been very blasé about it, despite living in a place where you needed to be ready for all kinds of weather and storms.
As she had through much of her life, Rory was the one who had taken care of running the house and all that needed to be done. She’d done it without comment or complaint, which was one of the things he’d always admired about her.
Their eyes met again in a long connection that told him they were both remembering all kinds of things her comment had brought to mind.
Such as the time they’d gotten lost together on a hiking trip near Denali and spent the night in a pup tent he’d thought was ridiculous for her to bring along for a day trip. But she’d insisted—just in case. When it had got too dark to find their way until the next morning, that tent had made their night a lot more comfortable than it would have been without.
Memories of being spooned together with her in that small cocoon, her firm rear and soft body pressed against his, made his breath feel short and his heart heavy.
He quickly turned to get the anesthetic that would help the boy to be semi-asleep, so he wouldn’t feel the pain of the reduction.
Jake placed an IV in Eli’s arm and administered the medication. He gave it the few minutes it needed to kick in, made sure the boy was in twilight sleep, then nodded at Rory. “Good to go. You need help?”
She was still such a small thing, and he couldn’t imagine the strength she needed to manipulate bones and do the kinds of surgeries she did. Obviously, though, she wouldn’t have passed the five years of residency training it took to be a pediatric orthopedic surgeon if she didn’t have the physical ability.
“I’m good. This particular manipulation is more technique than raw strength. Hip surgeries are the toughest, in terms of muscle power, but I manage.”
She sent him a half smile, then moved her attention to Pooky. “I’m going to pull down hard on his wrist to fully release the bone from the socket, then lever it back into place. It looks kind of awful, so you might not want to watch.”
“I’ll be okay,” Pooky said. “I’ve done and seen all kinds of stuff in my years of hunting.”
Jake decided he’d better keep an eye on Pooky anyway. Being a hunter who butchered animals didn’t have a lot to do with watching your young son’s arm being manipulated in a way that looked completely unnatural.
“Ready? Here we go,” she said.
He watched Rory pull hard on the boy’s wrist, then slowly and gently maneuver it back into the socket in what was clearly a very expert maneuver.
“Looks like...that’s it,” she said, leaning back with a satisfied nod. “In place and good to go—but let’s take one more X-ray to confirm.”
Jake moved toward the machine, glancing up at Pooky as he did so. Sure enough, the man looked ashen, and was listing to one side on his chair. Jake switched direction, striding over to grab him before he fell out of the chair and they had another broken bone or a cracked head on their hands.
“Whoa, there. Steady, now.”
In seconds Rory was right there with him, obviously seeing Pooky move at about the same time he had. She went to Pooky’s right arm, with Jake to his left, tugging him upright, and then they both pressed their hands to his back to tuck his head between his knees.
“Take some deep breaths and keep your head down for a few minutes,” Jake said.
“I’m...sorry. Felt a little lightheaded. Can’t believe it.”
“Trust me when I say it’s totally normal. When it comes to your own kid, especially, it’s upsetting to see a limb all out of whack like that.”
Rory’s green gaze met his over the man’s head, and for the first time since she’d been back they shared a real smile. It felt better than it should, but the way his chest lifted in response to that smile of hers told him he couldn’t deny that he still cared for her. That even after all this time, and all that had happened, the closeness he’d felt with her still wrapped around his heart like a twisted, deeply rooted vine. So deeply rooted he knew he might never be free of it completely.
“You go ahead and get the X-ray,” she said. “I’ll stand here and make sure he’s okay.”
Glad that the film showed the elbow right back where it belonged, Jake got busy getting the splint they needed while Rory talked gently and quietly to Pooky. Not all surgeons had good bedside manners, but she did. Not that it came as a surprise. She’d always been one of the most caring and empathetic people he knew.
“It’ll feel sore and bruised for quite a while, Pooky, so don’t be surprised by that. Over the next few hours I want you to pay attention to how his circulation seems. If his hand or his arm starts to discolor or feel tingly, call me or Jake right away—okay?”
Together, they worked to put an L-shaped splint on the boy’s arm, managing to get it fully in place and in a sling before the anesthetic wore off and he slowly became alert.
“Not quite good as new, but you’ll be there soon,” Rory told the boy, with another one of her warm smiles. “You’ll need to keep it in the sling for two or three weeks except when you’re resting. Keep your arm elevated as much as you can, ice it when the splint is off and come back to see me in two days. We’ll see how it looks then.”
A questioning frown dipped between her eyes and she looked up at Jake.
“Is it okay with you if he meets me here? It’s not entirely necessary—I could go on a house call to see him instead.”
“No, definitely see him here. How about 10:00 a.m. Thursday?”
His selfish feelings about her working here had been childish and stupid. She was obviously a good bone doctor who knew what she was doing, and taking care of patients in and near Eudemonia to the best of their ability was the whole reason the clinic was here.
“And you don’t even need to bring your own supply of splints—if he needs a new one we have plenty. In several colors.”
“Except I brought the perfect ones for Alaska—camouflage, if you can believe they make them. I guess they’re for hunters who want to hide in the trees, even with a broken arm.”
Another shared smile, this one bigger and more intimate, and he turned away from the power of it. Tried to move his thoughts from that moss-green gaze and her sweet lips by talking with Pooky and Eli. He was hyper-aware of how close she was, and how that damned grapefruit scent kept sneaking into his nose, bringing with it memories better left forgotten.
Both answered a few more questions, and Rory handed Pooky a card with her phone number on it before they left.
With the patient and his father gone, Jake couldn’t decide exactly what to do. Probably send Rory back to her mother’s house, then he and Ellie could get the place cleaned up with Mika in his playpen for a short time. Except, ridiculously, he found he didn’t want to ask her to leave quite yet, in a total reverse of how he’d felt an hour ago.
“It was nice of you to come take care of Eli. Saved them a long trip and an even longer day.”
“I was happy to. I’m sure there are plenty of times you have to play doctor here after hours.”
“Yeah. But still, it was nice. So, thanks.”
“No thanks necessary. So...”
Her voice faded away, as if she didn’t know what else to say, and he sure didn’t, either. An uncomfortable silence hung between them, until they both spoke at once.
“Listen, I’m sorry I was...unpleasant when I first came in. It’s just that—”
“I know this is hard for both of us, but—”
They both stopped and chuckled awkwardly.
Jake figured he’d better spit out his apology so they could get this discomfort over with. “Like I said, I’m sorry. I didn’t know how it would feel, seeing you again, and it’s been harder than I might have expected. I know it’s been a long time, but I’m going to be honest. After everything that happened, being around you churns up too much of the past, you know? I just don’t want to hang around you and try to be friends again. It doesn’t feel like somewhere we should try to go. But I do want to be civil and respectful while you’re here.”
“All right.” She gave him a slow nod. “I agree that friendship isn’t a goal we can have. So, civil and respectful it is.”
He reached out to shake on it, enfolding her hand in his, and the feel of it there had him staring at her for several long heartbeats. He wondered how the memory of the way her hand felt in his could be so strong, as if it was yesterday and not years ago that he’d held it every chance he could.
He pulled it loose and dropped his hand to his side. “Deal. You probably want to go on to your mom’s now, in case she’s needing you. If you need me for anything, you know how to reach me. I’ll be here when Pooky and Eli come back for their appointment with you.”
Her eyes stared into his and he thought for a second she had more to say, until she turned, grabbed her coat from the wall hook and left without another word.
A dozen emotions clogged his chest as he watched her go. He didn’t like feeling any of them. Didn’t like the upheaval currently tipping his world uncomfortably sideways. Yeah, the quicker Rory’s aunt came to take care of her mother, the faster his life would go back to normal again.
And it couldn’t come too soon.