HOW AN INTERNET TROLL CHANGED MY LIFE
Back in the summer of 2008, when I started my journey to get my health back, I never intended to be an inspirational blogger or speaker. In fact, I didn’t even know what a blog was.
I had been busy rearing five children for nearly two decades and didn’t have a portable device or laptop. I had a PC and knew how to use Word and connect to the internet—and that was about it. I didn’t even know how to cut and paste.
I had joined Dr. Fuhrman’s member center that year because I knew that I would need the support. I started a documentary journal and called it “Journey of Transformation.”
It was a place for me to record my journey, including my victories and struggles, and others could view it as well. The members were just as happy as I was when I escaped a temptation or lost another pound. My weight loss was a team effort of victories!
By the following summer, I had lost a hundred pounds, and Dr. Fuhrman asked if I would write a short essay about my favorite vegetable for his (now former) blog, “Disease Proof.” I submitted the piece and his audience of readers enjoyed it.
Then he asked if I could submit some previous writings from my journal on the member center. After tweaking the works a bit, I submitted those as well, and once again, his readers enjoyed them.
It was fun, but I didn’t consider myself to be a blogger—until an internet troll entered the picture.
The troll was disguised as four males and five females and began posting mean and nasty comments about my posts. This continued for three months, and I almost quit blogging several times. I think readers started following my posts just to view the nasty comments! All nine identities were traced to the same internet address. Eventually, the troll was exposed, and the derogatory comments immediately stopped.
What started out as a simple piece about my favorite vegetable snowballed into writing a weekly post on Dr. Fuhrman’s blog for more than four years!
Throughout that time, I also met and interviewed some incredible people from all over the nation who had also earned their health back. I posted those interviews on the blog as well.
For example:
• A middle-aged woman had suffered from incapacitating psoriasis for more than thirty years. She also suffered terrible side effects from the toxic medications she was taking to alleviate it. Today, she has beautifully clear skin without any medications.
• A woman was bedridden, taking nearly thirty medications, and unable to function by her late twenties as a result of lupus. After she changed her diet, her blood tests became normal, and she was able to get off all medications, except one. She is now working in a fulfilling career.
• A middle-aged man had quadruple bypass surgery and a stent procedure two years later to unblock clogged arteries. Afterward, he woke up in the recovery room with shortness of breath and was sent home to get his affairs in order—and prescriptions for over six hundred dollars’ worth of medications per month (out-of-pocket expenses). He lost 140 pounds within one year, no longer needed medications, and became the epitome of health and fitness.
• A middle-aged woman had ovarian cancer and was told by two physicians that she only had a few months to live. Instead, she decided not to accept that fate and overcame the cancer by flooding her body with high-nutrient foods—and that was more than nineteen years ago!
• A young father lost 333 pounds and was no longer house-bound. He became an avid cyclist and rode his bike year-round.
• A middle-aged man was taking four medications for asthma and used an inhaler every morning. By following the nutritarian protocol, he no longer had asthma and was free of all medications.
• A young mother had been suffering the physical and emotional pain of cystic acne and had been seeing dermatologists and taking meds for it since age sixteen. Because of her diet change to nutrient-rich foods, she was finally able to enjoy clear skin again.
The list above is just a sampling of people I had interviewed. Many of them, I had the privilege of meeting in person. I was blown away by their testimonies. I had witnessed firsthand how food had the power to restore damaged bodies to health and wholeness.
During those four years, I also traveled and gave inspirational talks. Some of the gigs were at Dr. Fuhrman’s health getaways and weekend immersions, and others were on television and in churches. At one of the getaways he introduced himself as having the book smarts and me as having the street smarts. (My education has been from the School of Hard Knocks!)
One event in particular that I looked forward to was a company’s biannual health retreat. The employees would arrive on Sunday afternoon from all over the country and then fly back to their various destinations the following Saturday.
Throughout the week, they were fed delicious, nutritarian meals as they simultaneously experienced detoxification from the Standard American Diet. I would emcee the event, and from my vantage point at the front of the lecture room, I could see their countenances change as the week progressed.
On Mondays and Tuesdays, their faces would be downcast and the room’s atmosphere would be filled with a lethargic fog. I could tell they were suffering from the ill effects of toxic hunger and withdrawal.
On Wednesday afternoons, they hiked at a nearby state park to help get them through detoxification. By Thursday mornings, almost everyone would enter the lecture room happy and laughing, and their faces would be lit up!
We always enjoyed line dancing on Thursday evenings, and by that time, the same room would be filled with enthusiasm and joy! When they left on Saturday mornings, almost everyone had lost a significant amount of weight.
Many of them, who had previously been taking blood-pressure-lowering drugs or oral diabetic meds, no longer needed them. (They were carefully monitored and supervised by Dr. Fuhrman and his associate, Dr. Jay Benson, the entire week.)
After years of meeting so many people from all walks of life, listening to their stories, and watching them transform before my very eyes, I am changed.
• I met a couple whose children practically had to rear themselves, because the parents were too overweight, sick, and incapacitated to care for them properly.
• I listened to a young mother who could no longer muster the strength to perform daily responsibilities due to food addiction.
• I met several individuals who were suicidal due to the hopeless entanglement of food addiction.
• I met a man who could no longer climb a ladder to fix his home’s maintenance problems due to obesity.
• I met a young woman who had to drop out of college due to a soda addiction.
As a result of all these experiences, I will never be the same again. Food really does have the power to destroy a life—or to heal and restore a life.
“Disease Proof” (Dr. Fuhrman’s former blog) is no longer online, so my posts cannot be accessed anymore. However, I have selected a few of them to include in this chapter.
Dr. Fuhrman wrote the following about my blog posts in his book The End of Dieting (2014) where several of them were published: “You are not alone in your struggle with your weight and food addictions. A successful nutritarian and contributor to my blog since 2009, Emily has inspired thousands of people to change their lives.”43
May you be challenged and inspired by them too.
IT TAKES COMMITMENT
Success has nothing to do with economic status, nationality, education, social standing, professional training, career choice, a stable upbringing, or even support from love ones. Success is a direct result of thoroughly studying, understanding, and assimilating the science behind Dr. Fuhrman’s nutritional recommendations—and then making the decision to earn your health back, no matter what.
Success is having both feet in the nutritarian diet-style at all times, not straddling the fence by eating high-nutrient foods during the week and indulging on the weekend or eating for health only when it is convenient. All who have succeeded made the firm decision to commit fully.
WHAT IS YOUR JACK DANIEL’S?
I make it my mission to read Drunkard, by Neil Steinberg, every couple of years. The book was the impetus for my transformation, because it demolished my concrete wall of denial. It forced me to face the ugliness of my food addiction head-on.
Every time I now read it, something new pops out. One time, it was Steinberg’s description of his moment to unwind after work, at the bar, just before drinking his favorite glass of Jack Daniel’s. I could totally relate to it.
Years ago, when I was obese, my “Jack Daniel’s” was the leftovers after the evening meal. I loved to unwind from the day and soothe my frazzled nerves by mindlessly eating, even though my stomach was full. The twirling universe stopped at those moments for me; it was my calm epicenter in the midst of my too-busy life.
If I’m not careful, Jack can still creep into my life—if I am not keenly aware of his tactics. He is hiding in the dark crevices; but as long as I continue to shine the flashlight on him, and continue to expose him, he can’t and won’t harm me!
Exposing Jack makes him powerless, because he is a coward in the light. Don’t give him the pleasure of lulling you into believing that he is your epicenter of calm. That is a lie.
What is your Jack Daniel’s? Do you use food to regulate emotions...to calm your nerves, de-stress, sedate, or soothe pain? If so, it’s time to walk out of the darkness and into the light; it’s time to be set free!
PERSPECTIVE DETERMINES OUTCOME
Those who succeed with the nutritarian protocol view it as an opportunity to “earn” health back. Their perspective is different from those who focus on all the foods they may be giving up for the rest of their lives.
Instead, those who succeed focus on giving up diabetes and injections of insulin, heart disease and open-heart surgery, toxic and expensive medications, and scheduling life around medical appointments. This different perspective enables them to get past toxic cravings in order to enjoy great tasting foods, in their natural state.
Conversely, those who repeatedly fail have the mindset of dieting. They view the nutritarian approach as just another diet designed only to lose weight—and, subsequently, their focus is on restriction and deprivation. This mentality invites self-pity and cheating. And repetitive cheating doesn’t allow taste buds to change or to break free from the vicious cycle of toxic hunger.
CHANGE A MISTAKEN IDENTITY
People become what they believe to be true about themselves and what they repeatedly tell others. If individuals believe they are failures, they will fail. If they tell everyone that they are a compulsive overeater, they will compulsively overeat in times of stress.
It is vitally important to declare and believe in an identity congruent with what you want to be. If you want to be someone who eats healthy food, then don’t be afraid to tell others. Don’t be ashamed to eat a salad when everyone else at the table is eating lasagna. You don’t have to be rude or obnoxious about it—but when asked, don’t be afraid to say that you enjoy eating food that makes you feel well. What you believe about yourself is what you will become.
AVOID THE MODERATION MYTH
When it comes to toxic food, there is no such thing as eating in moderation. For someone struggling with a food entanglement, taking one bite of an addictive food can be just as dangerous as smoking one cigarette for a former nicotine addict. Don’t believe the moderation myth that you might hear from physicians, counselors, ministers, friends, co-workers, or relatives.
The truth is that just one bite of an addictive food can do great harm. It is much easier to keep addictive cravings extinguished than to be continually fighting obsessive compulsions. It only takes a tiny spark to reignite a food addiction, so eradicate moderation from your vocabulary.
THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS
Everyone has to cross the threshold of withdrawal from toxic foods, which, for most people, is no fun. Toxic hunger can be unpleasant. You might experience headaches, nausea, weakness, fatigue, shakiness, and irritability that can last several days. But once the symptoms have been resolved, and if you no longer consume toxic foods, the symptoms don’t return.
Also, salt is a particularly tough habit to kick for some, but once the addiction to salt is gone, taste buds change, and the subtle flavors of fruits and vegetables in their natural state become highly enjoyable.
TOMORROW NEVER COMES
Waiting until after the holidays or a special occasion to begin eating for health is a misleading idea. Telling yourself you will “start tomorrow” is a lie. There is always another celebration or family event.
After Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and Christmas comes the Super Bowl, followed by Valentine’s Day, Passover, Easter, Mother’s Day, graduation parties, multiple birthday parties, a wedding or two, a Father’s Day cookout, summer barbecues and picnics, vacations, county fairs, fall festivals, Halloween, and then the year-end holidays all over again.
You must make the firm decision to eat for health each day and hold fast to that commitment, no matter what the calendar says.
THE REFRIGERATOR IS NEVER THE SOLUTION
Eating is never a solution to any problem. Emotional health is never achieved via the refrigerator, cupboard, or drive-through window. Life is full of ups and downs, joys and sorrows, pleasures and pains; that is why our lives are interesting and, ultimately, fulfilling. Address emotional issues by talking to a professional counselor, a trusted family member or friend, or join a support group. Addictive food and drugs are never the solution.
ABSTINENCE IS IMPORTANT
Abstinence is staying within a clearly defined boundary line. The purpose of an established boundary line is to keep one safe. In that safe place is freedom from addiction and disease.
Food addiction can be as serious as alcoholism and drug addiction. It destroys lives. A commitment to abstain from all processed food and junk food is necessary. Abstinence is radical, but so is cutting the chest open to bypass clogged arteries or amputating a leg.
If you are addicted to toxic food and have cravings that drive unhealthful eating, then you need to abstain from those triggers. The most effective way to beat the addictive drive is to engage in complete abstinence from addictive food. Abstinence keeps the “addiction motor” turned off. It is much easier to keep the motor turned off than to be constantly fighting addictive cravings and out-of-control appetites and mental obsessions.
HAVE A PLAN AND STICK TO IT
To get out and stay out of food addiction, one must always have a clearly defined and nonnegotiable plan, and then stick to it, no matter what. It takes vigilance and persistence at all times. One must not make compromises, or the addiction will take over again. The discipline of following a clearly defined plan will produce freedom!
I like to compare getting out of food addiction to learning to ride a bike. A beginner may have some spills before he or she learns the proper balancing skill to ride a bike without falling. It may even take some reinforcement like a parent’s helpful guidance, or a pair of training wheels attached to the bike. But eventually, with practice, one learns to ride without thinking about it anymore. Riding a bike becomes automatic, and then one is no longer focused on the learning process, but instead enjoys the pure pleasure of the scenic ride.
However, even the most seasoned cyclist must always be careful not to ride too fast on gravel, not to ride near the edge of pavement, and to pay close attention to busy intersections; otherwise, an accident could happen in a split second.
Likewise, it will always take careful planning and diligence to implement that plan, no matter how seasoned one is at eating healthfully.
BE PREPARED AT ALL TIMES
Plan ahead and always have food prepared in advance. Your health destiny is your responsibility, so be prepared at all times.
Unlike processed food dieting, no factory-prepared meals will be delivered to your doorstep. Keep your refrigerator well stocked with fresh vegetables, fruits, and soups for quick meals. Never wait until the refrigerator is empty to plan and prepare more food. Once you establish a routine of preparation, it will become second nature—but in the beginning, you may need to make this habit a top priority in order to develop it.
SLIP-UPS HAPPEN
Slip-ups, also known as lapses in judgment, happen from time to time—it’s a part of transitioning into a whole new way of eating and living for the rest of one’s life. Especially in the beginning, there’s a learning curve and mistakes happen. I’ve had plenty of lapses in judgment. Even with cravings for the Standard American Diet completely gone, I’ve eaten as a result of being frustrated. I’ve eaten for stimulation because I was tired. I’ve eaten to regulate a mood. I’ve eaten for recreation with others when I wasn’t a bit hungry. But most times, I’ve realized my error and moved on quickly.
However, relapse is the continual and intentional decision to compromise and cheat on a regular basis. These habitual compromises, even if they are seemingly insignificant at the time, are detrimental to freedom from food addiction. The willful decision to see how much one can cheat and get by; how much one can straddle the fence; or habitually overeat, and still keep food addiction eradicated from one’s life is a next-to-impossible feat to accomplish.
With repetitive compromises, the addictive cravings can be ignited to full strength again. I’ve suffered from a relapse. It happens sometimes, even with the best of intentions. In order to have long-term freedom from food addiction, we must reach out to others for increased help and support if relapse happens—because to live in denial of the power of addiction is to remain its prisoner.
NEVER GIVE UP
Hard times happen. When life is turned upside down, it takes everything within you to muster the strength to keep going in the direction of health. But even when you have challenging days, stay committed to make wise food choices—as best as you can. There is never a valid excuse to quit. As Dr. Fuhrman states, “It will take strength, it will take effort, but the pleasures and rewards that you’ll get from a healthy life will be priceless.”
Please don’t make the same mistake that I made and turn to low-nutrient food in times of great distress. It is not comfort food whatsoever, because it adds another layer of discomfort.
Instead, make a blended salad with a generous amount of prewashed greens, ground flaxseeds, almonds, and at least a cup of blueberries if you don’t have the “oomph” to make anything else. Eating nutrient-rich food is the path to healing.
Looking back, many of my friends were offering to help me after my son’s funeral. They would have been happy and willing to go to the store for me, or prepare green smoothies for me, or wash and cut up vegetables. But I refused their offers of help and paid a huge price for it.
Sometimes, the best gift we can give ourselves, and to others, is to reach out for help when we need it—and graciously receive that help—instead of succumbing to temptations in times of overwhelming distress.
I encourage anyone going through a hard time never to give up, no matter what. The sun will shine again, and happiness will return as one continues to stay the course. And in the meantime, reach out for help.