When Mateo pressed his lips to her mouth, Abigail’s eyes popped open. A million thoughts paraded through her head.
This is wrong
I’m still engaged
What does this mean?
In the next moment, Mateo slid his hand to the back of her neck so that he could kiss her deeply and her mind went blank. She clutched his wrist, kissing him back for all she was worth.
Whether it was the burden of her father’s revelations or her own desire to end things with Paul, the barriers around her heart were down. All Abigail wanted was this moment. This moment with him.
His kiss made her feel like she wasn’t broken, like the tattered fragments of her being could be rewoven into something deserving. She grasped him tighter, holding on to that hope with all of her might.
Mateo pulled back and she kept her eyes closed, afraid of what his expression would tell her when she opened them. After ten long years of dreaming about him, she didn’t want to fool herself into thinking this was real.
“Abigail,” he said her name, so softly, so gently, that she was even more convinced that this night was a figment of her imagination.
She shook her head and bit down on her bottom lip, refusing to wake up.
Let me stay here just a little longer
“Look at me, Abby,” he said. She peeked one eye open and he chuckled, running his finger down her cheek. “Whatever happens from this point on, I want you to understand something.”
She nodded.
“Nothing can change the way I feel about you, okay?” Mateo pulled her in for a hug and she leaned into his shoulder, enjoying the peace that came with being by his side.
The kiss hovered above them like a cloud of questions without answers, but Abby didn’t feel like bringing reality into their bubble.
They could explore what that moment meant another time. For now, she just wanted to rest. Eventually, she drifted off to the rhythm of Mateo’s heartbeat.
THE NEXT DAY, ABIGAIL woke with a start. Sunlight blasted through the windows revealed by deep, maroon curtains. The call of birds outside twittered loudly as if they were flying around in the bedroom.
Bedroom?
She rose abruptly, her gaze skimming the length of the room. The blue walls were adorned with three of her earlier paintings. A large dresser stood in the corner and on the opposite end, a table and chair waited for its owner to return.
Exactly who was the owner?
Abigail strained to remember what had happened after she’d kissed Mateo in the hospital last night. She recalled leaning on his shoulder, closing her eyes, and falling asleep. Had he brought her here?
Swinging her legs off the bed, she started looking for clues and found it in the form of a note on the nightstand. Abigail smiled as she recognized Mateo’s crab-like writing. When she’d tutored him in chemistry, it had been impossible to understand his scribbles and she’d ribbed him mercilessly for it.
It took her a minute to puzzle through his words, but she got the gist. Mateo was responsible for bringing her here.
Feeling much more at ease, Abigail took her time shuffling through his room. There wasn’t much in the way of decorations apart from the furniture and her paintings. She stopped at the last frame, a little ashamed of the strokes that covered the canvas.
When she’d just started out, she’d been painting with very little understanding of what she was doing and why it was done. Now that she had grown, the designs she’d been so proud of back then looked like child’s play.
She’d have to start a new project so that Mateo had a sensible frame on his wall.
Abigail smiled and moved out of the bedroom to explore the rest of the house. Mateo had done nothing to erase the presence of the bungalow’s previous occupants. Even Santi’s room still had his dinosaur bean bag and star-spattered walls.
She stopped right before entering Ida’s suite. Even though the room no longer belonged to her, it was a habit that Abigail didn’t feel like breaking. Backtracking, she ventured to the kitchen for something to munch on.
The dust on the stove and the emptiness of the fridge hinted that Mateo spent very little time here. Abigail snooped in the cupboard and struck gold in the form of cereal. Checking the expiration date to be safe, she pulled out a bowl and ate the cereal dry.
She was half-way through breakfast when the landline rang. At first, she hesitated. This wasn’t her house, so it really wasn’t her place to answer the phone. When the caller persisted, however, she picked up. “Hello?”
“Abby?”
“Mateo!” She couldn’t hide the smile in her voice even if she wanted to. “Where are you?”
“At the hospital. How did you sleep?”
“Fine.”
“Good. I hope I didn’t overstep my bounds last night.”
Her mind immediately jumped to the kiss and she put a finger to her lips, straining to recall the sensation. “No, it was quite alright. It was nice.”
“Nice?”
“Okay, it was better than nice.”
“Wow. Are we talking about the same thing here?”
Her eyes popped open and she gripped the phone tighter. “What are you talking about?”
“I wanted to make sure you were alright with me bringing you home last night. I hope it didn’t make you uncomfortable. What were you… oh.”
Abigail covered her face with a pillow. How embarrassing! She’d been gushing about how nice he kissed, while he’d been on a completely different topic.
She cleared her throat. “Yes, that’s what I meant. You bringing me home was… better than nice.” “Right,” Mateo rumbled and Abigail could tell by his tone that he was on to her.
“Is there something you wanted?” she asked, trying to change the subject.
“I don’t know what you’re plans are, but you’re welcome to stay at the house for as long as you want. I’m barely there anyway so it’s empty most of the time.”
“I couldn’t do that,” Abigail said. “I can find another place.”
“Still, the offer’s on the table.” Abigail heard a muttering in the background and knew that Mateo was busy.
“It’s okay, Mattie. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I do anyway,” he said. “Look, I have to go, but before I do, could you check in the drawer next to the television?” Abigail walked to the place he’d directed and pulled it open.
“What do you need?”
“There’s a cell phone in there. Take it. It has a Belizean SIM card and everyone’s number is on it already.” “This is too much.”
“It’s nothing. I bought a new cell for Christmas, but I’ve had that phone for so long I couldn’t throw it away.”
“Mateo, you really didn’t have to—”
“It’s no problem. The charger should be somewhere around. I’ll ask Mom to put some credit on it so you can call us if you need anything.”
“Wow, thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Abby,” he said, sounding distracted. “I really have to go. I’ll call you when I catch a break.”
“Bye.”
Abigail weighed Mateo’s cell phone in her hand. His thoughtfulness continued to surprise her. After becoming accustomed to walking on hot coals in order to please Paul, having someone go out of their way for her would take some getting used to.
The thought of her fiancé reminded Abigail of the daunting task before her. She had been so caught up in the sweetness of Mateo
Hernandez that she had almost forgotten the problems that still existed.
She twisted the ring on her finger. The diamond sparkled; ready to blind her if the sunlight hit it just right. Like Paul, its beauty could blind her to its dangers. Abigail was not ready to face her fiancé, but the longer she put it off, the worse things would be.
She had to get to Paul before her father warned him of her decision. Ideally, they’d be able to go their separate ways without a fight.
She was so, so tired of fighting, especially when Paul fought dirty. It was about time to end things.
Feeling like a woman in control for the first time in years, Abigail headed to the bathroom to clean herself up as best as she could.
Splashing water on her face, she gripped the sink with her hands and stared at herself in the mirror.
Without the glamorous makeup that created a veneer of confidence and control, she was forced to confront her true self. Brown skin. Big lips. Dark eyes. At first, she didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror.
Back in America, far from the person she used to be, she’d carved out a new version of herself. That Abigail had everything going for her on the outside. That Abigail wore the most expensive perfume to mask the stench of a rotting self-confidence.
She could never go back to the starry-eyed eighteen-year-old that she used to be, but today when she broke things off with Paul, she’d be one step closer to the Abigail she wanted to be. It was a step in the right direction.
Abigail took one deep, fortifying breath, and headed out the door.