When I was young, a benevolent God smiled kindly on my life. I let my heart rule my head. I lived for adventure and gaiety and could scarcely put a foot wrong in the world’s eyes.

Since my Lewis was taken, my heart still appears to lead, but it is only an illusion. My heart is dead. My days are filled with frenetic activity, poor substitutes for adventure and true joy. Polite Society, while intensely interested in my doings, hasn’t a single pleasant thing to say about me.

And God has not so much as twitched His lip in my direction for years.

~from the secret journal of Lady Nora Claremont