CHAPTER EIGHT

 

 

After lunch, Blake drove into town and stopped by the sheriff's office. It wasn't a big building like he'd expected, but it was clean and fairly modern for a small town. There was a receptionist out front, a glass room off to the side that held a dispatcher, a door that led back to the jail, and a line of offices along a hallway that led to a large, open room.

"This is where I brief the deputies at the beginning of their shifts," Tommy said. "I let them know what happened on the previous shifts, pass out any BOLO's that have come in, and fill them in on trends happening around the state. They let me know if there's anything that's come to their attention that needs to be addressed. If we have time, we might discuss a cold case we'd like to work on."

Blake glanced around the room. There was a long table in the center of the room and a shorter one up front under a large white board. On one side of the room there was a bulletin board covered with pictures. A small kitchen off the main room provided coffee, a refrigerator, and a microwave, as well as a couple of round tables and a vending machine.

A deputy helped himself to a cup of coffee, then joined them in the main room. "So you thinking about becoming a deputy?" he asked.

"Thinking about it," Blake replied.

"Couldn't ask for a better sheriff to work under. The last one was firmly planted in the mayor's pocket, but not Tommy. Sure makes my job easier." The deputy tipped his hat and left the room.

"Is politics a big problem around here?" Blake asked after the deputy left.

"Used to be. The mayor thought he owned this town, and he wasn't above using the sheriff's department to further his own agenda. I put a stop to that first thing. Let him know I couldn't be bought or blackmailed, then helped get him voted out of office. The current mayor is one of the local ranchers, so he understands what we have to do to get the job done. He pretty much leaves us alone to do it." Tommy turned off the lights and led Blake down the hall to his office.

"Some places only do online applications these days, but I like the old-fashioned way. I want to see a man's face while I read what he's written." Tommy took a form from his desk and handed it to Blake. "If they've lied on the application, I can usually tell by how they act or look anywhere but at me."

Blake nodded. "Makes sense. So I guess you want me to fill it out now rather than taking it home?"

"If you don't mind." Tommy sat behind his scarred oak desk after getting Blake settled at a smaller desk in the corner. "Not that I think you'd lie, but it's worked for me so far."

"Fair enough." Blake filled out the form, hesitating when he came to a section asking for his former addresses. He was tempted to write 2001 Ford F250 and a travel trailer, all over the U.S, but he finally settled on Cooper's address, the ranch in Wyoming, and his old home address in Houston. Emergency contact information was harder. He didn't know his parents' current address or phone numbers, and though he had Mandy's phone number, he didn't have her address. Once again he listed Cooper, and also Nick.

He came to a question that completely stumped him. Where did he see himself in five years? He had no idea where he'd be in one year, much less five. And though he was tempted to lie and say he saw himself as a deputy, he remembered what Tommy said about being able to tell if he didn't answer truthfully. So he put down that he had no idea.

Maybe he should have waited until he'd finished his sessions with Jean before he took a leap like this.

***

The living room floor was strewn with toys, and Mandy's youngest brother lay on a blanket on the floor beside her. The only sound in the room was Jimmy's light snoring. When the doorbell rang, she jumped. Her parents had already gone to bed, and it was too late for visitors.

She looked through the peephole in the front door. Blake.

Mandy thought about ignoring him, but she was afraid he'd ring the bell again, waking not only her parents, but Jimmy as well. It had taken her hours to get him to sleep. With a sigh, she unlocked the bolt, opened the door, and stepped out onto the porch, closing the door behind her.

"What are you doing here? Do you know what time it is?"

Blake nodded. "Yes, but when you didn't show up for work and didn't answer your phone, I got worried."

"Sorry. I have my phone silenced so it wouldn't wake up my little brother. Look, now isn't a good time. My parents are asleep and I'm about to go to bed. I'll be at work tomorrow, okay? Good night." Mandy opened the door and slipped quietly back into the house. As she locked the bolt behind her, she heard the sound of Blake's boots on the sidewalk. She rested her forehead against the door, feeling guilty for being so abrupt with him. Maybe she should have just let him in and gotten the whole conversation over with. But she didn't want to get started on what would be a lengthy explanation with her brother asleep on the floor and her parents just down the hall.

But she definitely needed to tell him what happened ten years ago.

She still had nightmares about that night and the weeks that followed. Her parents still suffered because of her stupidity and the actions of a few of the more privileged and powerful members of the community. Though it hadn't been totally her fault, her little brother would forever pay the price for her lapse in judgment.

How did you tell someone you loved that you were a fool? And not only a fool, but one with a criminal record?

Mandy spread her sleeping bag on the floor next to Jimmy and settled in to try and catch a few hours sleep before she had to wake him for his medication. As she fell asleep, she wondered if there was any hope for her to live a normal life if her little brother never could.

***

With a new week of hippotherapy clinics starting, Blake was too busy to think about anything but work. Sessions started at eight in the morning and didn't end until six in the evening. It was the largest group of clients so far, and this time they were working with not only physically disabled children and adults, but also had a group of autistic children.

While it was exhausting and challenging, he also ended the day with a greater sense of satisfaction than he'd felt in a long time. For once, he was doing something that mattered, something that made life a little better for someone else.

The kids tugged at his heart the most. Some had never walked even once, while others, like Becky, had lost the ability due to illness or injury. Despite their problems, they laughed and played and had a more positive outlook on life than most healthy adults he knew. They also worked harder and tried harder than his bull riding students.

The hardest part of the week was not getting to spend any time with Mandy. She'd never said a word about his late night visit, or explained why she'd pretty much shut the door in his face. There was something she wasn't telling him, and he intended to find out as soon as the week was over.

This was the last class before the Thanksgiving holidays, and Cooper was holding to his promise to not hold classes again until after the new year. Sometime between now and then, Blake had to decide if he would be here for the next class, or if he'd return to the circuit. The first rodeo of the season started the first week of January.

"Hey Blake. We need to get fitted for tuxedo jackets on Saturday, okay?" Nick paused before putting a saddle onto the rack in the stable. "You don't have plans, do you?"

"Not anymore." So there went his Saturday, too. He'd never get to talk to Mandy at this rate. "Just tell me where and when."

"We'll all go together. We need to leave here around ten. Cooper's driving."

"Any idea how long it will take?" Maybe if they got back early enough he could take Mandy to dinner and a movie.

"We thought we'd make a day of it. Lunch after the fitting, then maybe do some guy stuff while we're in town. I think the ladies have made plans to get together for some cooking lessons from Mandy." Nick looked up just in time to catch Blake's scowl. "Is that a problem?"

Blake shook his head. "Not if Mandy already has plans. I'd hoped to ask her out on a real date."

"Hey, we have the next six weeks off. Plenty of time for dating. Though if Cooper goes through with his idea to add onto the house, we may be busier than ever."

"What? Why haven't I heard about this?"

"I think you were in town when Cooper brought it up. He wants to add another wing on the house for overnight guests and the families of the autistic kids. He's also talking about adding on to the bunk house to give you a separate apartment rather than just a room off the common area." Nick tossed the last of the saddles onto the rack. "If you're through cleaning the equipment, Cooper wants to see us."

"Almost. You go on up. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Nah," Nick said. "If I help, you'll be finished that much faster."

They entered the main room to find all of the hippotherapy and ranch employees gathered, along with Logan, Jake, and their families, Nick's sister and nephew, and Cooper's parents. A fire burned brightly in the fireplace, and Mandy had set up a coffee urn filled with hot chocolate. Plates piled high with chocolate chip cookies, brownies, and truffles covered a serving table near the hot chocolate.

"Are we having a party?" Blake asked.

"A celebration." Cooper pointed toward the refreshment table. "Grab yourselves some hot chocolate and cookies. The guest of honor will be here in a minute."

Nick and Blake helped themselves and moved to the side of the room where Jean and Mandy stood.

"Y'all know what this is all about?" Blake asked.

Mandy shook her head. "Not a clue. Cooper just told me to make up a bunch of refreshments for an employee meeting. I don't know why the others are here."

A hush fell over the crowd and all heads turned toward the hallway. Nancy stood there, tears in her eyes. In front of her, Becky made slow, halting steps, leaning heavily on a walker. As she made her way to Cooper, the group applauded.

Blake looked down at Mandy. Instead of the smile he expected to see, tears streamed down her cheeks. Women. They cried even when they were happy.

It was the best party Blake had attended in a long time. Cooper and Nancy both beamed with happiness. Becky, now seated in a place of honor at the front of the room surrounded by her family, looked extremely pleased with herself. After an hour or so, most of the employees left, leaving only the family and close friends. Mandy tried to excuse herself to leave, but Blake held her hand and wouldn't let her go.

"How long have you known she could walk?" Nick asked Cooper.

"Since Monday, but we didn't want to say anything while the students were here. We didn't want to give false hope to those who won't ever be able to walk. She's been working toward this for months." Cooper smiled at his daughter. "That girl has grit. And you all had a part in it, from keeping me going when I thought my life was over, to helping me build this place, and helping start and run the clinics. Without hippotherapy, she'd still be stuck in that chair."

Nancy linked her arm through her husband's. "You gave her an example to follow, too, you know."

Blake felt more than saw Mandy's withdrawal. She murmured a quick excuse about cleaning the kitchen and left the room.

"I'd better go see if I can help her." Blake started to leave, but Nancy called him back.

"I think she needs some time alone, Blake. She'll tell you what's wrong when she's ready."

Blake turned back to the group. "So there is something wrong? What? Is she sick? Did I do something? Why does everyone but me know what's going on?"

"No one else knows. Just me, because Mandy talked to me today. But I'm not at liberty to share her problems." Nancy reached out and touched his arm. "Be patient. She'll tell you when she's ready."

***

Saturday morning dawned bright and sunny, with a breeze just cold enough to require a jacket. Mandy wished she could sleep in, just once. She was so tired her body and soul ached. But she'd created the situation, and she'd pay the price for as long as necessary. She spent her days working to earn the money to pay for her little brother's therapy, and her nights by his side so her parents could rest.

Though she dreamed of having a family of her own someday, how could she? She'd never be able to afford to move out of her parents' house, she'd never have more than a few days free of responsibility. Those days with Blake in Las Vegas now felt like a dream. Though she'd told him she'd follow him if he returned to the circuit, she knew it could never be for more than a day or two at a time, and only when he was close enough that she could drive. She couldn't afford air fare on her own.

She'd spent a restless night, thinking about what Nancy had told her. That she needed to open up about her past instead of keeping it a big, dark secret. That no one would think less of her. Was that true? Would people really understand?

Would Blake?

The burden of keeping it all a secret had become too great, though. She felt like she was shattering inside, as if she would fall apart and never be able to put herself back together if she didn't tell at least those closest to her. But she was also afraid that if she ever started talking about it, all the old anger and shame would overwhelm her again and put her back in that deep, dark hole she'd fought so hard to crawl out of.

She couldn't bear to go back there.

During the drive to the ranch, she passed the spot where her life had changed forever. If she looked closely enough, she could still see the evidence. But as she did every morning, she drove on, not stopping to look. Sometimes if you ignored something long enough, you could pretend it never happened. At least until something reminded you once again.

One thing the sleepless night had given her was the determination to end the secrecy. Today she would tell everyone, and take whatever consequences came her way.

She worked all morning getting things ready for the girls' get together. The men were already gone, so she didn't have to worry about Blake coming in, demanding an explanation before she was ready. Once she had brunch on the table, she put a brisket on to cook for dinner and went to join the others.

Charlie, Jonathan, and Jacob played on the floor, guarded by their respective Blue Heelers. The dogs were stretched out behind their charges, head resting on their paws, eyes watchful. Becky and Katie sat nearby, playing a board game while also keeping an eye on the active toddlers. The two infants, Carey and Sadie, slept quietly in twin cradles near their mothers.

Nancy, Megan, Jean, Shelby, and Carol filled their plates at the table and passed bridal catalogs around as they searched for the perfect bridesmaid dresses.

"Next weekend, it's our turn to go shopping and leave the men to babysit," Jean said. "I found a dress I like, but I want you guys to approve it before I buy it."

"That will be fun." Nancy glanced over at baby Carey. "I'm not sure I can make myself leave her for that long, though."

"The babies can go with us," Jean said. "They won't be a problem. They still sleep most of the time, anyway."

"Do Katie and I get to go, Mommy?" Becky asked.

Nancy glanced at Jean. Jean nodded. "Sure. We need to get their dresses, too."

Satisfied, Becky went back to playing.

Nancy lowered her voice so the two girls wouldn't hear. "Are you sure? I thought you wanted a day with just the grown ups?"

"I'm sure. They're as much a part of this wedding as the rest of us." Jean smiled. "I can't believe I'm actually getting married! It all seems like a dream."

"Remember when we used to talk about what kind of guy we wanted to marry back in high school?" Nancy asked. "You used to say you wanted to marry a doctor or a lawyer, and I wanted to marry a fireman? Instead, we both ended up with cowboys and couldn't be happier."

"All thanks to Megan and Carol." Jean lifted her mimosa in a toast. "To happy-ever-afters for us all."

Mandy once again felt like she was on the outside looking in. These women seemed to have everything she wanted, but probably would never have. Though she loved them all, she didn't know if she'd ever really feel like part of the family. But that didn't stop her from dreaming.

***

Blake felt the tension the minute he stepped into the house. Mandy and Nancy sat close together, hands clasped, while Jean stood behind Mandy with a hand on her shoulder. Tommy Bell stood off to one side, holding a file folder.

Blake looked at Cooper. "Any idea what's going on?"

"I have my suspicions, and if I'm right, you aren't going to like it much."

Mandy looked up and caught him watching her. "Come sit down, Blake. I have something to tell you. Since I didn't think I could say it more than once, I'm telling everyone at the same time."

Nick put a hand on his shoulder, a silent signal for Blake to remain calm. He'd done it many times over the years when Blake was nervous about riding a particular bull, and Blake felt the familiar peace flood through him. Whatever this was, he could handle it, just like he'd handled everything life had thrown at him so far.

Blake sat on the couch, with Nick and Cooper on either side. "I assume this has to do with whatever's been bothering you lately?" he asked Mandy.

She nodded. "Tommy told me I should have done this sooner, and he's right. I should have told Nancy and Cooper when they hired me. I should have told you long ago. But before I start, I want you to understand how things used to be in Morris Springs. Ten years ago, we had a mayor who ran things far beyond just the city's business. He had money, and influence. And he had a son who was the star quarterback."

Blake's heart sank. Was she about to tell him something he really didn't want to know?

"Cooper found out a few weeks ago, but he didn't say anything. Nancy said he was waiting for me to tell him myself." Mandy paused. "He found out because he did a background check and learned I had a criminal record."

Mandy took a deep breath. "It wasn't really my fault, or so I keep trying to convince myself. I was young, and trusting, and stupid. I made a foolish decision that I still live with to this day. A lot of people have suffered for my mistake except for the one person truly responsible."

"Mandy…" Nancy squeezed her hand. "Tell them what happened."

Mandy took a deep breath. "I was sixteen, shy, and a bit of an outcast because I was a poor kid from the country. The kids at school who lived in town treated the country kids differently."

When Logan and Carol nodded, Mandy gave them a wavering smile. "Looks like some of you experienced that, too. Anyway, I wanted to fit in so badly that it colored my judgment." She took a deep breath. "I was babysitting my little brother one night--he was only three at the time--when Jesse Hargrove stopped by my house and asked me to give him a ride home. He said his truck had broken down. I didn't think much of it, but I was excited that he'd asked me of all people. He was the most popular boy in school, his father was the mayor, so what could go wrong?"

"I put my brother in his car seat in the back, and when I turned around, Jesse was in the driver's seat. I tried to insist on driving, but he only laughed and said he never let a girl drive. I didn't know he was drunk. He didn't act like it. He just seemed like his usual cocky self."

Blake clenched his fists, wishing the Hargrove kid was in the room.

"Anyway, he was driving too fast and I tried to get him to slow down. He just laughed again and told me to shut up. As we approached the railroad tracks, the warning lights started flashing. Instead of slowing down, Jesse hit the gas. I screamed at him to stop, but he was drunk and thought he could make it. He almost did."

Tears started to roll down Mandy's cheeks and Nancy handed her a tissue.

"The train caught the back of the car on the passenger side. It pushed us nearly a mile down the tracks before it stopped. Jesse wasn't hurt at all, and he opened the driver's door and took off before the engineer climbed down from the train. I got out to try to help my brother. When the sheriff arrived and arrested me for reckless endangerment and injury to a child, I tried to tell him about Jesse, but he thought I was lying to save my own skin."

Mandy wiped her cheeks and continued. "My little brother was critically injured, but I was barely hurt. I was tried as an adult, and spent two years in jail. No one would listen to me when I told them Jesse was driving. The sheriff was so deep in the mayor's pocket he wouldn't even dust the steering wheel for fingerprints."

"Some of the townspeople believed me, because they knew what Jesse was like, and they knew what kind of hold the mayor had over the sheriff, but the jury was stacked with the mayor's friends and people who owed him their livelihood. My little brother lost everything, I lost my self-respect, and Jesse didn't even miss a day of school. But what it still boils down to is that I have a record, and Cooper found that out when he did the background checks Tommy suggested after the incident with Ty."

Mandy looked at Cooper and lifted her chin slightly. "I'm tendering my resignation, effective immediately."

"Like hell you are." Cooper shook his head. "We've all made mistakes, some of us more than others. Yours was a mistake of judgment, which is not unusual for a teenager." He looked up at Tommy. "Do you believe that Jesse was driving the car rather than Mandy?"

Tommy nodded. "I was a deputy back then, and I knew the sheriff was corrupt. I hadn't been able to prove it, but when he refused to allow us to investigate further, I knew Mandy was telling the truth. I've known her all her life, and she's always been honest. I have some evidence, but not enough to get a conviction, or get hers overturned. Not yet, anyway. But I'm not giving up until Jesse is behind bars."

"That's good enough for me," Cooper said. "I'm glad you told us of your own accord. I just wish you'd told us sooner. We might have been able to help."

"I know. I should have. I was too ashamed."

Blake had remained silent, waiting for Mandy to finish her story. But now he had to know. "What happened to your brother? You said he was critically injured, so I'm assuming he's still alive?"

Mandy nodded. "He has brain damage. He's basically a five-year-old, in a thirteen-year-old's body. My mother cares for him during the day, and I take care of him at night. Everything I make goes to help pay for his medical care."

That explained so much. All the nights she refused to stay over, saying she had to go home. Why she seemed to be at her parents' beck and call, even though she was twenty-six. Why she still lived at home. And probably why she hadn't let him in the other night. All this time he'd thought she was keeping him at arm's length, making excuses for not wanting to be with him.

Nancy leaned over and gave Mandy a hug. "Now you can put the worry behind you. The truth is out, and we still love you. I want you to know we'll do whatever we can to help, and please, let us know when you need time off. We'll understand."

"Thank you," Mandy said. "I appreciate that."

Nancy glanced over at Blake and back to Mandy. "You look exhausted. Why don't you go on home? Jean and I can take care of getting dinner on the table and cleaning up afterward. I'm sure the others won't mind."

"Are you sure?" Mandy rubbed her eyes, looking like she might fall asleep on the spot.

"I'll take you home," Blake said, standing. "You look too tired to drive."

He waited for Mandy to gather her coat and purse, and then he led her outside to his truck. He helped her inside, and she leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes.

She looked exhausted. He wanted to talk about what she'd just shared, but he didn't want to disturb her. Now that the story was out in the open, they'd talk about it when she was ready. In the meantime, he had a lot of thinking to do. Why had she thought any of them would think any less of her for what she'd been through? If anything, he admired her even more for the way she'd taken care of her brother, helping out with his medical expenses.

So why hadn't she trusted him enough to tell him?

That bothered him the most. Even though he'd asked her what was wrong, she hadn't felt able to tell him. He'd had to find out in a room full of people.

Blake pulled into her driveway and turned off the engine. Mandy's eyes drifted open with the unfocused look of someone who'd been in a deep sleep. She must be really sleep-deprived to be able to drop off in seconds like that. He wished there was something he could do to help her.

"Thank you for bringing me home," Mandy said. "But how am I going to get to church in the morning?"

"I'll come pick you up." Blake reached out and cupped her cheek. "Can you go to bed and sleep tonight?"

Mandy sighed. "It depends on what kind of night Jimmy has. Sometimes he'll sleep in his own bed and stay there most of the night. Other nights he roams the house, or crashes on the living room floor. I don't get much rest those nights."

"You can't go on like this, you know. Not with a demanding job like yours. Can't you hire a night nurse to stay with him?"

"With what money? My parents are ranchers. They can't afford health insurance, and it wouldn't cover Jimmy now even if they could get it. What I make covers his doctor and dentist visits, medications, and other things he needs, but it wouldn't be enough for a nurse." Mandy opened her door. "I need to go inside. My parents need a break."

Blake got out of the truck and came around to walk her to the door. "I want to meet them, and Jimmy. If not tonight, then choose a time. Please."

"Not tonight. I'm exhausted. But why don't you come for dinner tomorrow night?" Mandy leaned into him, resting her full weight against him for a moment. "Kiss me goodnight, Blake."

He took her face in his hands and covered her mouth with his. His tongue traced the outline of her lips until she opened to let him in. Her eyes drifted closed and her arms wound around his neck. For a second he nearly forgot where he was, but her father's voice on the other side of the door quickly brought him back to reality.

He lifted his head, kissed her forehead, and stepped back. "Go inside before I forget my manners. I hope tonight is one of the good nights."

Mandy nodded and opened the door behind her, disappearing into the house.

He had to do something to help. He could afford to pay for a nurse, at least for a while. But would she let him? Would her parents? And now more than ever he wanted to go to work for the sheriff's department, if only to help prove her innocence.

Rodeo life suddenly seemed far away and unimportant.