The Desert (1990–1993)

1

In the sense that the world is happened upon

and noticed—just as one morning the children

came into the garden where the sun had streamed

through the larches: a perfect cone. They stepped

inside and felt for edges in the air,

asking if they should go or stay,

As if they were the cause of what

they had seen. They knew that to walk

away would be to leave in midsentence,

to turn from some gesture

that seemed urgently felt, but opaque

as a forgotten language. They were caught

Then, between wonder and its guilt,

the overbearing insistence of wonder

when it seems the up-staging of joy.

And they knew that the light would not remain

forever, whether they stayed or turned away.

Day after day the same thought

Of the country—the enormous effort of waste

and complicity mirrored in the old concerned

clichés. The struggle against forgetting

like a stream or hill eroding,

or a fissure spreading while

we sleep, for we imagine

The loss of nature only in terms

of the nature now lost, so far

from our imagining. When de Tocqueville

wrote his “Fifteen Days in the Desert,”

he said, “the forest seemed so icy,

the shadows so somber, the solitude

So absolute,” not knowing all

we could have made by now and that

what could pass away from the earth

would be the earth itself beyond

its use. Spellbound, he thought

of the desert as a kind of revolution

In which the vast and granular world

was falling into its own full future

and he could, unwittingly, and suddenly,

be at the apex of that minute collapse.

History was not a line, but a kind

of hourglass, turned upside down,

As if to time an egg, and infinitely

reversing its own small, steady

progress. (… a light that was a slow

uncovering, a cloth drawn back,

a lid before an eye—like a blessing

on the world, but who is the dreamer

To answer their question; the one who predicts

or the one who follows? The blasted tree

fell in the single field,

the charred bark and the root

lay tangled like a severed braid.)

The traveler arrived

In a landscape that until then

he had only hoped for, something

he could imagine when confronted

by emptiness: here and there

a cactus, a snake, what might be predicted—

drawn on the shed skin

Of the world, these would admit

a surface. He wrote “they have nothing

to fear from a scourge which is more formidable

to republics than all these evils

combined; namely, military glory …”

The children had stood beneath a perfect

Cone of light, which seemed a gesture

urgently made by a speaker now far

in the distance. All day

the same thought returned: a desert

filled with things beyond use

and a will receded. Lieutenants

And lieutenants of lieutenants

drawing a sandy line, wanting

to be used and of use.

A small cot beneath an enormous

sky: indifferent, mathematical, true.

The abandoned blocks of apartments, the rubble

Strewn like dunes across the view,

caverns where vast

machines have been severed—

the leaking suitcase, the turquoise glass

around the pull toy. It’s all

spelled out in the new edition of

“The New Dark”: sensation, true

indifference to all that could be new.

How can particulars serve us when

all they evoke is the identity of surface,

the analogy of form which undermines

their history? The replacements arrive

On buses and carry sets of working

papers. They intend no resemblance to the living

or the dead, and no one can say

what they dream. They have nothing

to fear from … an empty country,

but the fires burning in infinite regression,

The smoke refusing all shape and measure,

the end of the long daylight of reason—

all consequence as soon forgotten

as the last moments of a revolution.

A prophet in a frock coat gazed

out into the desert, imagining

Stars as a system of justice,

reciprocal, mathematical, true …

That night I dreamed

of Constantine’s dream and how

in Piero’s great fresco cycle

the Emperor’s face between the white sheets

Is so absent and calm; his secretary drowsily

listens as the flanking guards hold

their conversation—there

on the eve of what they picture

will be an exhausting and cruel disaster.

And how the angel, like an arrow, or wildly

Plummeting bird—torqued from a sky

so simultaneously brilliant and dark

that it, too, seems more

miraculous than made—spreads from the swift

left wing a perfect net

of light and drapes it over the great

Red and golden cone of Constantine’s

tent. And then the two folds

of light swell forward—one

of this world, and one so surely

not—toward us like a pulse, thus stopping

time in time …

To know what might

be prevented, to see the luminous

intervention, ephemeral

and true as the morning

light cast

drifting through the branches.

  

2

I understood that there must have been

a light like a slow uncovering, or a cloth

drawn back with all the pomp of a blessing.

There must have been a lid

long before an eye, a device for seeing

before there was seeing. And the way in which

It came can’t be separated from what

it is—like a matter to be worked

through so work can begin. When a line

recedes, it seems that time passes, regardless

of beginning, edge, or end. And the seeming

is like an event to us, with all

The consequence of something intended. It’s just

that the shape is prior—and not to see it

is not a failure or collapse of

will or faith, but a kind

of belatedness that calls and calls

again, for care.

In the sense that the pulse of the heart

beats before its being, and out

of the first layers all

the organs will slowly form—a head,

barely perceptible, surrounds

the start of the brain

And a gaping hole appears before

the hungry, speaking mouth. Below,

at the beginning, the pointed tail

will sway and the forty

blocks of bone will start to turn:

vertebrae, brain, and backbone

Curving while the sooty eyes lie open

like coins in the ivory skull.

Branchial arms and legs, gill-like

projections that become the lower

jaw, the neck and face suspended

in the amniotic sac:

What has motion becomes

a name in motion, growing toward

an end it does not know.

Chorion and amnion,

placenta, cord, and rib; dermis,

epidermis, and the shell’s

Filmy skin; sweat glands, sebaceous

glands, and then the emergent surface—

downy with soft hairs swimming,

soft hairs wavering—

from their follicle anchors.

The hands begin as shapeless paddles,

Then fingers form and nerves spark,

stranded, stringing out into brightness;

the cells of the eyes diverge.

Ragged halo, chorionic villi

—jerk, swish, hiccup,

flex and flower.

The forehead grows, the vessels of blood

thread, visible, under transparent

skin. The nail beds rise,

the hands are shaped and find

themselves, grasping like to like.

The head turns, the face moves

And a gasping breath begins

its sore, impenetrable

singing. The hollow stalk

emerges, the stalk-end

thickens and forms a sphere, meeting

the skin’s interior.

It turns on itself,

inward like a cup, and the base of the cup

becomes the fundus; the covering skin

becomes the retina. Inside the lens

begins to glisten. An iris

grows inward from the edges

Like a circle of reeds

leaning toward the watery

light, becoming light and darkness,

then color, shape, and motion.

And from the embryo’s thin skin

a hollow forms beside the hindbrain,

Then the inner ear and the outer

ear, the hammer, anvil, and stirrup.

They bring the hard pounding

of the blood beyond touch,

to the place of beat and interval.

Now it hears and hears

itself in the pounding

of the other, and somersaults

into being: the one with the fontanel,

the waxy vernix, the matted lanugo

and its whorled tattoos.

One who is touched,

became touch and shape; who came

into the light, became light

and movement; who moved

into sound, became the speaking silence;

sent into time, became time emerging.

As the past increases, the future is diminished

and fear assumes the features of love.