I spend the whole afternoon wondering what I should do. Should I tell Stacey I left that note? Should I tell her my real name? I keep coming up with the same answer.
No.
Even if I wanted to be her friend, which I don't, she's sticking up for Jenna, which means it's only a matter of time before she hates me, so what's the point?
I'm still thinking about this as we head out to the bus after school. Jenna organizes us into a jumbled line. She is in the lead. I bring up the rear.
The bus is crawling with kids by the time we climb on. Jenna takes command of the situation, maneuvering Stacey and Brooke through the obstacle course of knees and elbows. They pile into an open seat near the back. Randi plows through next, clearing a path for Meeka and Jolene. They squish into the last empty seat just behind the other girls.
I stand at the top of the stairs and look down the aisle, feeling like a fish who is about to be flushed.
"Quickly, now," the bus driver says to me. "Find a seat." She pulls on the long handle that's connected to the door, closing it with a snap.
I scan the sea of heads and backpacks.
I see some space near the front, where all the little kids sit. I plunge in and stop alongside Rachel Drews and Tess Kloud.
"Hi, Rachel," I say. "Can I sit with you?"
Rachel looks up at me, wrinkling her forehead into a question mark. "How come?" she asks.
"It's me," I say, forcing a smile. "Ida May. I'm going to your house for Jenna's sleepover."
The bus suddenly jerks forward and I have to grab the back of Rachel's seat to keep from falling.
"It's too squishy with three," Rachel says. Tess nods.
"Sit down!" the bus driver hollers at me.
I nudge myself onto the edge of Rachel and Tess's seat. They both complain, but I pretend I can't hear them.
The bus bumps along, and my legs begin to feel like they are going to fall off. At least it isn't a long ride to Jenna's house. I know where she lives even though I've never actually been inside.
When we get to the bus stop I hurry off and wait for the other girls. Rachel waits with me. When they finally pile out, Jenna links arms with Stacey. The other girls link up, too. "All for one, and one for all!" Jenna cries, as they march down the sidewalk together. Rachel and I fall in behind.
"You'll love my house, Stacey," Jenna says. "Everyone does." The other girls nod. "We can do whatever we want. My mom won't care. We can even stay up all night."
"Me, too?" Rachel asks.
Jenna shoots a look back at Rachel and me. "No babies allowed," she snaps.
As I listen to the girls making their plans for the night, I think about the last time I went to a sleepover, just before Elizabeth moved away.
All her toys had already been packed. So had most of the furniture. Even the bowls and spoons had been packed, so we pretty much just had to sit around on the floor and eat cereal right out of the box.
The longer I sat there and watched Elizabeth's mom and dad running around, rolling up rugs and carrying boxes out to the moving van, the more I wondered if maybe my parents were thinking about moving away, too. And then I started wondering if maybe they were packing up the beds and spoons at that very moment. In fact, when I got home in the morning maybe the whole inside of my house would be gone, including my parents.
The more I thought about that and the more I watched Elizabeth digging through the cereal box, the more I felt like crying. So I did. And when Elizabeth asked me what was wrong, I said my stomach felt funny. And when she held out a handful of sweaty purple marshmallows and said, "Eat these," I said, "No thanks," and threw up in her hand.
So Elizabeth and her mom drove me home real fast because they didn't want their van to smell like puke all the way to Albuquerque.
But the funny thing was, as soon as we got to my house I started to feel a lot better. I jumped right out of the van and ran up to the door. My mom opened it and I could see that all the furniture was still there, and that made my stomach sort of smile.
In fact, I felt so good I ran right inside.
And forgot to say good-bye to Elizabeth.