Present
“First Lady will see you now,” said Sister Piper Willis, First Lady Jenkins’s new armor bearer.
With me sitting down from my post and Ebony accepting more and more speaking engagements, First Lady needed a replacement. Piper and I had different takes on what it meant to be an armor bearer. I thought it meant being a prayer warrior, friend, protector, and confidante. Piper, on the other hand, preferred to be some ridiculous hybrid of secretary, security guard, and maidservant. She was even posted outside First Lady’s office door like a sentry. I could imagine her holding up one of First Lady’s hatboxes to ward off some imagined threat. I was sure that she was driving Ebony up the wall.
First Lady was standing at the coffeepot making a fresh cup. “Would you like some coffee, Charmayne?”
“No, thank you.”
First Lady gingerly carried her hot cup back to the desk. “How is it working out with Evangelist King?”
“Wonderfully. She’s a gifted counselor.”
“She’s an anointed woman of God,” remarked First Lady Jenkins.
I was getting a little nervous, because First Lady had called the meeting in the first place, but I had no idea why. We hadn’t talked much since I’d married Travis and resigned from being an armor bearer. The last conversation we’d had was when she’d recommended Dr. King.
“Are you wondering why I called you in here?” asked First Lady.
I exhaled with relief. “Yes.”
“Well, I want to know when you’re coming back to your post.”
“You mean as armor bearer?”
“Yes. You can come back anytime you want.”
I lowered my head sadly. “I’d like that, but I don’t think it’s for me anymore.”
First Lady came and sat next to me. I could tell she was getting into prayer mode. “What do you mean you don’t think it’s for you?”
“How can I be a good armor bearer if I’m failing in my own walk?”
“You think that just because you’ve made some wrong turns, you’re failing?”
“I knew that the Lord was telling me not to marry Travis. I never felt any peace with that decision, but I pushed His voice out of my spirit. Now look at me!”
“Charmayne, I am looking at you. The Lord has forgiven you of your sin of disobedience, and you’ve already paid a hefty price. But I also see a survivor in you. Tell me how long it took the Israelites to get into the Promised Land.”
“Forty years.”
“Right. They walked much farther than God would’ve had them to, because of their stiff-necked behavior.”
“So you’re saying I just took a detour?”
“You went down a dead-end road, honey, but now you’re back on the right path.”
“How do I know that I’m back?”
“Do you feel peace in your spirit, honey?”
“Yes. It’s been awhile since I felt it, but my peace has returned.”
First Lady beamed. “Well, you need to get on back, because that Piper is driving me crazy.”
I laughed with First Lady. Everything was starting to feel normal again. I knew that I was back on the Lord’s path for my life. I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit like I had before I’d decided to take matters into my own hands. I was glad, too, because I didn’t want to be like the Israelites. I didn’t have forty years to get this thing right.
Later that day I had a session with Dr. King. She’d been hinting that our time together was almost finished, but I had come to depend on her for her wisdom. I hoped that we would continue to be friends once the sessions were through.
I told her about my conversation with First Lady. “She said that my marriage to Travis was like my wilderness experience.”
Dr. King nodded. “I like that! Tell her I’m going to have to take that and use it.”
I laughed. “I sure will.”
“I’m going to have to agree with First Lady Jenkins. You had a momentary lapse of judgment when it came to marrying Travis. From your descriptions of the man, it’s not hard to imagine many other women making the same choices.”
“That’s what really burns me! I know that Travis is going to use his charms and woo one of my sisters in Christ, and there’s nothing that I can do about it.”
Dr. King replied, “There is something you can do about it.”
“Pray that the Lord smites him?”
She laughed. “Charmayne, I’m so glad to see that your humor has returned. No, you cannot pray for his demise, but you can pray for his deliverance. Jesus can work on his heart and repair his character.”
“And make him the perfect husband for someone else, right?”
“Perhaps. I don’t know that he will make a good husband for anyone.”
“He sure wasn’t a good one for me.”
Dr. King asked, “Thinking back, were there any warning signs that your marriage was in trouble?”
I nodded slowly. “Dr. King . . . it was troubled from the very beginning.”