The bathroom is one of the easiest rooms in the house to look after because it’s designed to be cleaned—and when you’ve finished, the room sparkles from floor to ceiling. I’ve developed a method for cleaning the bathroom that is super-speedy, but slightly unusual. So I’ve also included a more conventional speedclean if my technique is too radical for you.
As you know, I love to clean with bicarb and vinegar but you may prefer to use proprietary products. Whatever you use, make sure you rinse any product thoroughly. Never use steel wool on any surface in the bathroom or you’ll create scratch marks.
If you think your cleaning is slow…
THE KISS ME QUICK LADIES’ FACE RUB FROM LEE’S PRICELESS RECIPES, 1817
1 gallon of spirits, ¼ ounce essence of thyme, 2 ounces essence of orange flowers, ½ ounce essence of neroli, 30 drops of attar of roses, 1 ounce of essence of jasmine, ½ ounce of essence of balm mint, 4 ounces of petals of roses, 20 drops of lemon oil, ½ ounce of colorous aromaticus (amber gris). Mix and strain, apply to the face on a daily basis.
It’s apparently good for wandering husbands …
Clutter bucket—to transport displaced items; bicarb—cleaning agent; white vinegar—cleaning agent; Gumption—cleaning agent; water—cleaning and rinsing; methylated spirits—to clean mirrors; cloth (such as an old T-shirt)—to wipe surfaces and absorb water; old stockings—to clean soap scum; nylon broom—to sweep floors and clear cobwebs; dustpan and brush—to clear accumulated dirt; vacuum cleaner—to vacuum floors; mop—to wipe over floors; bucket—to hold water or to hold cleaning items; rubber gloves—to protect hands and provide grip; spray bottle—to spray vinegar; old toothbrush—to access tight corners; nylon scrubbing brush—to aid cleaning; CLR or Ranex—to clear hard-water fur; denture cleaner—to remove marks in the bath; lavender oil—cleaner and fragrance; oil of cloves—to deter mould; glycerine—to prime surfaces; detergent—cleaning agent; old towel—to absorb water; paper towel—to absorb water; sponge or rags—to use as cleaning cloths.
Remove anything that doesn’t belong in the bathroom with your clutter bucket. Then remove any loose items, such as towels, toilet paper, toothbrushes and bin, and store them outside the bathroom. Put all the plugs in the sink holes, including the bath, and cover the shower drain hole. Run the water from all the taps on hot until the room is really steamy. Watch that you don’t create a flood of water—and make sure you don’t put the extractor fan on! Then remove the plugs. In these times of water restrictions, you may want to save water by cleaning straight after you or someone else in the house has had a shower. Now, it’s time to get active.
WARNING If you have marble, make sure you dilute 1 part white vinegar to 5 parts water and rinse thoroughly If you have unsealed wood, clean with black tea and vinegar.
Cover your head with a scarf or shower cap, blokes included, put on rubber gloves and stand in the middle of the room with bicarb in your hand. Have the bicarb either in its box with small puncture holes in the top or in a large shaker. Imagine you are on a merry-go-round at a fun park and move in a circle lightly shaking bicarb around the bathroom, including the sink and toilet. Three tablespoons should be enough for the whole bathroom. Now, have a spray bottle with white vinegar in it and grab a sponge or broom. Squirt sections of the bicarb with the spray bottle and, while it’s fizzing, scrub with the sponge or broom. Use an old toothbrush to access corners. Do this right around the room, including the walls. I think the best way to access walls is with a clean broom, which, if you think about it, is really just like a large nylon brush! Once you’ve scrubbed every surface, including the towel rail, rinse with water from a shower extender or hose attachment or you can use a spray bottle filled with water. Just be very careful around electrical fittings. Sweep excess water down the drain.
For really stubborn stains on your sink, bath, toilet or any tiled surface, use Gumption on a cloth.
If your grout is mouldy, wipe with bicarb and vinegar and scrub with an old toothbrush. To inhibit mould, add a couple of drops of oil of cloves to the mixture.
If you have unsealed timber, vinyl wallpaper or other surfaces that shouldn’t be left wet, dry them with either old cloth nappies or old towels from the rag bag. Tie the towelling to your broom head with elastic bands and wipe the walls.
Remove the grill, rinse it under warm water, dry with a towel then replace. Never touch the fan or you could electrocute yourself!
If you can, buy some old cloth nappies from charity stores or garage sales. They’re cheap, the towelling is 100 per cent cotton and is of a very high quality.
HINTS FOR BLOKES: Speed your cleaning by using the toilet brush each time you use the toilet. If you scrub it straight away, there will be less cleaning to do later. Leave the toilet brush inside the toilet as you flush and it will clean the brush as well.
DID YOU KNOW? Lavender oil removes light water staining in the toilet. Add 1 drop of lavender oil every three days to create a cleaning film. If the stain is really bad, add ½ capful of CLR or Ranex to the cistern water.
HINT FOR KIDS: The back of the toilet door is the perfect place to keep a calendar of events, chores and even the times table. It’s better than on the fridge door which is usually being opened to see what’s inside.
I don’t like using toilet mats and toilet seat covers because they harbour bacteria, smells and they create more cleaning. But if you do have them, make sure you wash them once a week.
Clean taps with an old stocking. I suggest wrapping the stocking around the back of the taps and moving them backwards and forwards in a sawing action. You could also use an old toothbrush to access any hard-to-reach areas. Make sure you clean around the edging of all the drains.
Mirrors should be cleaned with methylated spirits and a lint-free cloth, such as an old T-shirt. To prevent fogging, either scribble over the mirror with a cake of soap then polish it off with a cloth or you could wipe some spit over the mirror. I know it doesn’t sound appealing, but it’s how scuba divers keep their masks from fogging up.
DID YOU KNOW? Our sense of smell is very powerful, so if you use a fragrance normally associated with food in the bathroom, the smell centre in our brain registers it as wrong. It’s best not to use fragrances associated with food, such as cinnamon, apricot or peach, in the bathroom. Lavender is the scent of my choice.
Finish by drying surfaces, including the bath, with an old towel. You’ll stop water marks and create a gleaming shine.
Clear the bathroom with a clutter bucket. Sprinkle bicarb over the bath, sink, shower and toilet. With white vinegar in a spray bottle, squirt the bicarb and scrub either with a sponge, scrubbing brush or a pair of old stockings rolled up into a ball. Stockings cut through soap scum really well. Clean behind taps by wrapping a stocking around the base of the taps and sawing backwards and forwards. Don’t forget the areas around the drains. Clean the toilet as described above. Wipe the walls using the two-sponge technique or use one sponge dipped in bicarb and a spray bottle of vinegar. Clean the floor by sprinkling over bicarb then spraying with white vinegar. As they’re fizzing, rub over with a nylon brush or nylon broom. Rinse with water. Clean the mirror with methylated spirits and an old T-shirt. Use a broom to access the ceiling and give it a good sweep. Then rinse the whole bathroom with water. After cleaning, towel dry all surfaces, including the bath. This prevents water marks and leaves a sparkling finish. To clean the inside of bathroom windows, use a squeegee and water. If the window is grimy, use 1 cup of white vinegar to a bucket of warm water.
Is it okay to use bleach?
Bleach is a cleaning agent and an antibacterial, but it’s also quite corrosive and high in phosphates. Many people equate the smell of bleach to cleanliness, but if you can smell bleach it means the area hasn’t been rinsed properly. Over time, it makes grout porous, strips the glaze off tiles, causes glass cancer on shower screens and breaks down the rubber sealant on shower screens. It even makes painted surfaces powdery. If you like cleaning with it, only use small diluted quantities and make sure you rinse thoroughly afterwards. I much prefer to use bicarb and white vinegar. Simply sprinkle on bicarb then sprinkle on vinegar and, when it’s fizzing, scrub with a nylon brush or broom, then rinse.
If your bath has gone yellow
Bleach can often make modern bath surfaces turn yellow. Wipe the bath with glycerine on a cloth. Then wipe with dry cleaning fluid applied with a cloth. If that doesn’t work, fill the bath with warm water and add 1 packet of denture tablets or powder. Leave overnight and drain the water.
If your bath has grey marks
It could mean bleach has taken off the porcelain coating and left an absorbent surface where dirt has lodged. To alleviate the problem, fill the bath with water and add 1 packet of denture cleaner The denture cleaner can be in tablet or powder form. Leave overnight. Then wipe the surface with glycerine to seal it. If you use the bath often, you’ll need to wipe the surface with glycerine every three months. The grey marks could also be created by contact with metallic objects such as steel wool or back scratchers made with stainless steel. Clean these marks by sprinkling on bicarb, adding white vinegar and scrubbing with a nylon brush or rub with a pencil eraser.
Ramp up your speedcleaning by tackling the task right after someone’s had a steamy shower—the warm film of moisture is the perfect preparation base. Some people even clean while they’re showering! One friend had great intentions of cleaning while he showered and even got to the point of leaving the cleaning bottle in the shower recess. It remained untouched until he noticed mosquitoes had started breeding in the moisture puddle under it! Keep a rolled up pair of pantyhose near the bath and have users wipe the bath down after having one. It’ll help prevent those unattractive dirt rings and speed your cleaning. You could also keep a squeedgee in the shower recess and give the area a quick wipe after showering. If you have a shower curtain, leave it stretched open to dry so mould doesn’t grow in the crevices.
If there are several people in your home, wipe tea tree oil over the shower floor with a cloth after each shower to kill tinea.
How to clean a streaky shower recess
If it’s soap scum, mix 1 part methylated spirits, 1 part vinegar and 2 parts water and rub the mixture over the screen with a cloth. But if it’s glass cancer you’re in trouble. Try rubbing it with goanna oil, if you can obtain some, or use sweet almond oil. Reapply sweet almond oil every time you clean. If that doesn’t work, you may have to get a new shower screen!
The bathroom is an easy place for clutter to gather. I suggest having a stash of plastic tie bags so you can regularly remove clutter. If your cupboard space is under the sink, be careful what you store here because it can be a moisture trap. It’s better to store items high and dry. Buy small storage units, preferably without doors, to organise all that bathroom paraphernalia, such as hair gel, cotton buds and dental floss.
Allocate one shelf for each member of the family. Determine a spot on the shelf for each thing you store here and make sure you return items to this spot. It means you won’t waste time searching for what you need. No matter how you store toothbrushes, they will always attract bacteria—rinse them before and after cleaning your teeth. Replace them when the bristles start to bend, because if they’re not straight, they won’t work properly. Store them with the bristles facing upwards and try not to let them come into contact with other toothbrushes. If they become contaminated, throw them out or add them to your clean kit. However you store them, make sure you clean the holder and allow it to dry before putting the toothbrushes back in.
DAILY: Razors should be cleaned after each use. If you have an electric razor, clean it with a brush and sewing machine oil it each time you use it. Disposable razors should be cleaned by running your fingers from the lubricating strip down the blade, not against the blade, or you’ll cut your fingers! If you prefer, use a soft sponge to clean it. It’s a good idea to replace them often because bacteria is attracted to them. If you cut yourself a lot when shaving, keep a styptic pencil in the vanity. This has an alum base and shrinks blood vessels.
HINT FOR BLOKES: If you get whiskers in the sink after shaving, scrunch an old pair of pantyhose into the shape of a tennis ball and wipe them away. Keep them under the sink so you can wipe each time you shave. If you don’t have access to old pantyhose, be manly and buy some cheap ones at the supermarket.
If you keep make-up in a bathroom drawer, make sure the bottom of the draw is covered with 1 centimetre thick foam rubber, which is available from stores specialising in rubber products. It will provide a soft landing if you drop something. Store make-up in small plastic containers—old takeaway ones will do. Lift out the whole container when you use anything because you’re less likely to drop it.
Thick foam rubber on the bottom of a drawer is also great protection for men’s shaving gear.
If you drop foundation make-up on the floor
Blot with a paper towel. Then mix ½ teaspoon of glycerine and ½ teaspoon of detergent and apply to the stain. Massage the mixture into the stain with your fingertips, remove with a paper towel, then a damp cloth. Foundation has a fine grade oil and sticks to everything.
To keep your cleaning at top speed, watch out for hard-water fur or lime scales in your shower head. That’s when little black prickly things form in the nozzle. Unless you have brass fittings, get rid of them with CLR or Ranex. Mix according to the directions on the packet in a bucket or ice-cream container and immerse the shower head in the solution. Leave for a few minutes until the solution is absorbed. Then turn on the shower and watch the black prickles fall down the drain. For any strays, use a needle to unblock the holes. Keep brass shower heads clean with equal parts white vinegar and lemon juice applied with an old toothbrush. Brass shower heads are generally big enough to scrub the hard-water fur out.
If you have a separate bath and shower, I suggest having two of everything—from soap to shampoo—so you’re not constantly reaching from one area to another, especially when wet! And on the topic of soap, I think each family member should have their own bar of soap in the shower.
If there are drip marks in the bath or sink
Use a little CLR or Ranex applied with a cotton ball, cotton bud or nylon brush.
DID YOU KNOW? Soap for washing your hands should have a slightly higher acidic base to help kill bacteria and cut through grease. I use lemon myrtle soap.
If you have problems with mould in the bathroom, try to allow as much ventilation as possible. To inhibit mould, add a couple of drops of oil of cloves to your rinse water.
I prefer to store towels away from the bathroom because they can get a musty smell from the steam. But if you do store them here, make sure they are kept under a shelf so moisture doesn’t drop onto them—and don’t roll them up because you will create a mould centre. After using them, towels must be allowed to dry on a towel rack or they’ll smell and make you smell as well! Try to get as much air as possible through the towel, so hang it unfolded. If you don’t have the space, fold it in two, reversing the fold each day. You can tell which side you’ve folded by the seam. If you don’t have a towel rack, hang the towel on the clothesline. Keep a hand towel near the sink so your bath towel isn’t used to dry hands.
Wash towels once a week. Keep them soft by adding bicarb to the wash water and vinegar to the rinse. Use warm water when washing dark towels to retain the colour.
Clean towel rails, including heated ones, with a cloth that’s been wrung out in water.
The best bathroom mats use a high density towelling which absorbs water and stays stiff so you won’t slip. Wash them once a week in the washing machine.
Always have a bin near the toilet. I also provide waxed brown paper bags that are waterproof for up to 6 months. They’re ecological and make guests feel more comfortable. Having a bin near the toilet means there’s no excuse for people leaving used toilet rolls lying around near the toilet!
Q: INCIDENT: “I’ve got a nasty black mark on the water line of my toilet,” says John. “I just can’t shift it. What should I do?”
SOLUTION: Place a capful of CLR into the cistern of the toilet. Leave it for 10 minutes then flush. Then leave it again for another 10 minutes. Then turn the tap off at the cistern and drain the water from the bowl with a small plastic cup. Then wipe the mark with bicarb and vinegar and scrub with a brush. Turn water back on then flush.
In days gone by, Barbie-like dolls called ‘dress-a-dolls’ became a popular toilet-roll storage solution. Dolly’s legs would go through the centre of the roll and a colourful crocheted nylon dress would cover the toilet paper. Dolly was generally plonked on top of the cistern, her outfit often matching the toilet seat cover and mat. They were much loved by grandmothers, but if they only knew how much bacteria lived in the skirts, they’d be horrified! These days, many people keep spare toilet rolls on the cistern but I think you should avoid this because it’s too easy for the roll to fall into the toilet. I store toilet rolls on a giant wooden spike with a thick base so water doesn’t get onto the bottom of the toilet paper and make it frilly. Pile them as high as you like or use several spikes. I use unscented toilet rolls because many people are sensitive to the chemicals. If you like having a scent, you can create your own. Simply spray a small amount of lavender oil onto the cardboard inside the toilet roll. Cardboard absorbs the lavender smell and continually recirculates it.
Q: INCIDENT: “We live in the bush,” says Joanne. “And use dam water which has really stained the bath. Is there any way of repairing it?”
SOLUTION: Use CLR or Ranex and follow the instructions of the packet with one variation. Dilute the mixture to half the recommended strength. Then wipe it over the surface of the bath with a cloth. Then rinse with water.
Create your own air freshener by filling a spray pack with water, add 2 drops of detergent and 5 drops of lavender oil. Leave it near the toilet. You can also use tea tree oil or any of the floral essential oils.
Anyone with young children will have an array of toys in the bath. To help with cleaning, and to avoid sitting or stepping on a sharp piece of plastic, keep a toy net in the bathroom. You can easily make your own. Buy some nylon netting, which comes in a variety of colours, from a ship chandler or hardware store. Attach two large stainless steel curtain rings to either end, then pull the ends together and thread with a cord. Hang the toy net on a hook in the bathroom where it can drain. You could also reuse orange netting bags from the fruit market if there’s only a small number of toys—and if orange goes with your bathroom.
If your bath or sink plugs are difficult to remove, attach a curtain ring, a length of nylon cord or a ball chain to the top. Ball chains are available from hardware stores.