Epilogue – Saturday, July 2nd
Get laid regularly. - Aunt Piadora’s Beauty (and well meaning advice) Hints
Brogan said, “Do you swear that the last month is an aberration?”
Mary Grace said, “I wouldn’t have survived if it wasn’t. Does that cast itch?”
Brogan said, “You seem to spend a lot of time shopping, and no, it doesn’t. Do you have a fingernail file? Or maybe a wire hanger?”
Mary Grace said, “Yes, and I only buy things on sale. The bigger the discount, the better. I worship sales. Sales are my god.”
Brogan said, “Cops don’t make a huge salary.”
Mary Grace said, “Well, graphic artists don’t exactly make a million bucks a year, either.”
Brogan said, “So how do you afford so much?”
Mary Grace said, “I told you. I buy when it’s on sale. I put it on layaway. Also I have a side business that seems to make a lot more money lately. Publicity has been good for me on the Internet. I got a certain proposition last week that made me very happy.”
Brogan said, “Proposition. What, Ivan proposed to you? I’ll rearrange his smug little face.”
Mary Grace said, “He’s in jail, as you know, until they sort everything out, right down the way from Lolita until they transfer her to a psych hospital. Besides, it’s not like he really did anything wrong, except to be a big, woman and child hungry jerk. No, I do this writing thing on the side. A little column. I give advice about beauty and fashion. They’re talking about national syndication. Very lucrative.”
Brogan said, “I guess you would know about beauty and fashion.”
Mary Grace said, “And sometimes I write about sex. Lots of red hot sex.”
Brogan said, “And that, too.”
Mary Grace said, “I’m an inspired woman.”
Brogan said, “Can we stop shopping now?”
Mary Grace said, “Of course, it’s time to move on to my other big love.”
Brogan said, “What’s that?”
Mary Grace said, “Football. I’ve got Cowboys season tickets. It’s preseason time. And I love football.”
Brogan said, “You’re shitting me.”
Mary Grace said, “Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Language. Would I lie about something like that? Shopping and football, my two favorite things in the world. I got the season tickets on sale. Well, not exactly on sale, but I got a deal on them. It’s all in who you know.”
Brogan said, “I love you.”
Mary Grace smiled. “Of course you do.”
The End